To being born a girl means still very different things everywhere than being born a boy. This must be said aloud since it is thought that we have managed to solve such issues as inequality of sexes, solve inequality at birth here in the West where feminism has effected positively in how women and girls are treated and what kind of opportunities they will have in their lives. To speak of inequality at birth we mostly think of those developing countries in which more conservative points of views come to decide how sexes become to follow their duties on strictly guided paths, how difference is made clear. Difference is a gap but also something intolerable. Intolerable and agonizing point is where one is born into and sex is unchangeable truth, overwhelming and either bad or good. Knowing what are those two sexes for without possibility to change that mental landscape. How are our capabilities utilized by society, family and by persons themselves is a key issue and what is there to be utilized, what for are we produced products? The very heart is how well can we live as persons or can not and how roughly are we pushed to be an obedient mass. What is a nation for? What happens to those who simply do not fit in? How do invariable, rightful and lawful members of society make the construct of nation build by families?
Who can and will have minds of their own, minds of our own, a mind of my own, how is mind educated? Family values and where they come from play an important part in how children become to value themselves, others and how they see their possibilities and roles outside the family. To be able to see sexes as equal but different has proved to be a very difficult task as sex is seen through traditions; how we should be and become, models for living are passed on though we are very different now than 50 years ago, at least as civilization, and born to do different things as such. Opportunities are there to be grasped for more people than ever, knowledge can be found and used. What are we born to do then with what we have got? How will we find the right and tools to know who we are? Who is to decide and when will child decide for himself/herself? That women and girls are by definition less than men easily happens to be the guiding thought even this definition is not verbalized but an actively played part with gestures, clothes, innuendos, structure of society which leads the way. Gender roles which are unconsciously followed because we are not challenged enough to do otherwise, think otherwise? Are we that irrational? The construction and basis of our gender ideology we obediently follow has not been thoroughly changed. Such turnover would alter centuries old structure beneath us and the world as we know it. Would we be completely lost? There are many reasons why we tightly stick to safety which stability brings. It is a time and energy-consuming a too complex issue to tackle with to change the very ground. How women and girls are treated by default, by an invisible order, how will they be provided for the same opportunities as boys and why it is extremely important to pay attention to consciously influence on changing inequality. Not to pamper but to make sure there are no walls and obstacles that normally are there for girls. Boys are naturally given the place in which they are glorified, important, let to run and act wild and somehow the directing place falls on them just like that. Their honor lies in different achievements. Woman’s honor is her calmness, her kindness, gentleness and prohibition from sexual pleasure.
The happening of gender, making of it by thinking we know what gender is and what does any gender do, is supposed to be like, the easiness of falling into old ways of thinking is the place where we have to be extra careful. How we do not favor someone because of their outer traits, because we see them as better because of their sex, because self-assurance is a sign of quality, because wearing a suit is a sign of power, because those who have the loudest voice are allowed to speak for others etc. It is extra important to unlearn such learned ways of thinking where sex by default is something particular because we are first thinking persons then sexual beings. This duality we go through from very young age: am I my genitals, am I my brain? I am not my sex although I am completely defined by it, by what I look like which is feminine and sexual, sexualized and for sexual pleasure. I am much more than that which can be difficult to pay attention to and very difficult to acknowledge. This I do not say to boast, I state it as a fact that happens repeatedly not only to me but to many women, which detail is a stepping stone for those who look and who function like the most repetitious. Looks should not be an issue but it is always. It is as if I am not for me and I am not allowed to the same rights to exist, make, create and accomplish as others. Stating this it is clear we are not equal. What I represent in the eyes of others defines me and some of my opportunities. How much does it weigh how I define myself and how broadly I stretch to test my limits remains still to be seen. Paradox is that women can be very flexible and capable of doing a large variety of things when they are allowed to try.
One cannot highlight enough how important role of adults is, any adult, all of them. To not call women whores just because you can, to not be violent towards children and women, do not be violent at all. To understand what is violence, verbal and mental violence, abuse, exploitation and violation. It is a growing process for all. Adults are not ready people, they do not know everything, they do not possesses divine laws by which to tell who is absolutely right and what that other should be like.