Trauma the word is something that should not be used as it is so personal. We cannot reveal our trauma and we have to act we don’t have any. Trauma the experience and burden is what we all have.

Yes it is a psychological term and to psychologize is probably what I should avoid doing since I am not a therapist, but there is an outcry for psychotherapy. Hurt caused is very telling. People who are not able and willing to accept variety of people, complex psychology and intellect of people, want to inflict hurt for their reasons which are primitive and old. We can get traumatized quite easily depending on what we are used to receiving from others. People who are not protected by anyone can grow fierce fighters depending what kind of point of view they have on not being protected and cared for. One can see it as a loss that has to be felt bitter about or something one cannot do anything about and move on. Attitude is an important tool but to accept one’s vulnerability and weakness play an important role as well in getting ahead and accepting one’s solitude. Position of inferior should not be accepted as such. We are alone in this because we have to find our own place on our own. Trauma is the very thing that can drag us down for years and we can dwell in it if we don’t get help in finding other kind of way to think. Violence continues when there are no other kinds of solutions taught and available. Severity of trauma experienced and survived can be unbelievable. We are also amazingly tough what comes to enduring. To show toughness can become a shield against the world. Our ways to protect ourselves are there for a good reason. We are under constant attack and threat. The ways of being sensitive, having a sensitive mind are many. To be sensitive towards what that other is going through takes wisdom that many don’t have. The question did you get a trauma and get traumatized has a severe diminishing attitude towards being sensitive and getting hurt. To say out loud things that hurt is a starting point in making a change in attitude atmosphere. People can be unaware of what hurts, which is itself the unbelievable factor. They have to be given the experience of hurt for them to feel what it feels like to be insulted, therefore self-defense is important! Learn to defend yourself.

Sorry I don’t believe in turning my other cheek. I hit back because otherwise nothing would have changed for me. Best retaliation is humiliation and win with wits. People are cowards which is the biggest disappointment and also an easy target. People who do not know themselves are easy targets. It is easy and cowardly to shout out your opinion hiding behind a false identity or from within safety of  a group of similar minded assholes.

We are not supposed to get hurt by words, by insults, by being stepped over, living under pressure of false ideas of gender, under body of bigotry and hate. Why there is such cult of strength that prevents us from showing vulnerability? Idea of boys don’t cry is heavily planted also in me. To be a girl was for some reason a weakness. I am not to talk about hurt caused, inflicted, not supposed to speak about unjust experiences because I must endure and fight, stand up for myself. Well I must, there is no one else to do it. That is the sad part. One can stand very alone in situation of attack and finding that inner strength to defend oneself over and over again is a miracle which notion itself keeps me going. I have got strength and power, a revelation.

Trauma caused and felt is there what everybody has to go through. Children cannot and should not be protected from it because we hurt and we must learn to deal with hurt. Hurt we experience and we cause. When hurt becomes so big it comes difficult to breath, mental health has been under severe pounding. Anxiety and difficulty to breath normally are symptoms that should not be taken lightly. Our minds are connected to our bodies and issues of mind cause physical pain and symptoms that can be serious and long lasting. Problems of mind are still undervalued even though it is our most important part, our brain. It does not heal fast nor easy. When you start messing with someone’s mind results are expensive, tragic and difficult to repair. It is very common to think mental problems are inferior and we should just bear our mental pain. As much as intellect is emphasized in our Western culture we are not using it. We are torturing brain and not using them fully. What comes to evaluating someone’s intellect it is the most common way to put down someone by giving judgments of intellect, women’s intellect, black intellect, children’s intellect. Many see intellect within a narrow frame judged by outer traits. My blond hair, gender, clothes, and looks do not define my intellect. How do my professions define my intellect?

To endure mental pain to certain extent is necessary for survival. This is my view and experience. Sorrow, loss, loneliness, heartbreak and all the negative emotion are there for a reason, not to escape but to learn from. They are there to tell us something, not that life sucks and why this is happening to me, it happens to all. It does not mean bullying and torture should be accepted, emotions tell us to act. How do you act enraged or when do you hate? Your negative emotions are not to make others feel bad too. Emotions can be channeled to do something, but what? Taking the easy way of dealing with complex issues you cannot deal with is where people obviously need guidance. Kindness and will to understand take work and effort many are not willing to take up and pass on. How to understand yourself, why you do what you do, what do you wish to accomplish with your actions? People are lazy and much rather pass on the negative experienced and felt projecting their world view on quite many people. I ask you to be responsible adults in a world filled with hate and bloodshed. It takes true strength to apologize and act differently. Listen and pay attention.