This is about being upset. Itzy bitzy easy breezy upset. It is when you stomp your foot to the ground. It is when you scream. It is when your arms akimbo, you look dissatisfied and think that it is going to help you. It is like you ate a bad fruit. Ate something tasting like shit and spat it out saying fucking hell. It is when you turn your back against the world and swear you never want to see it again. It is to cry your eyes out in a public toilet, loudly sneezing to you sleeve and can’t stop feeling this way. Angry maybe, possibly, little, more than upset, still the feeling is under control. Apologizing for feeling this way. There there, don’t spoil the fun everyone else is having. There is nothing wrong. Don’t be such a bore, difficult whiner, a demanding bitch. We are having so much fun here and all we don’t want to see will be hidden. Upset, it is when your face makes expressions of grumpy and you look ugly and you are so at mercy of your emotions you can’t help it. It is to be in a bad mood. Are you pregnant? Are you having PMS? It is when you and only you dare to have the audacity to show negative feelings and express them verbally in a way they happen to come out. Irrationally and humiliatingly and it feels so right, but you are told you are behaving like a child and you are the one to be punished for you outburst.
Perform a blowjob in a gallery space, a museum space is even better.
Instructions: You are among a crowd (friends). Get slightly drunk. Offer a man to get down on him right now in front of all these people you do not know (friends). Fall on your knees and lick his crouch. Open his belt and caress his thighs. Be graphic. If he refuses follow him on your knees. Tell you are very good at it. Ask in front of everybody, if it is ok to perform in front of everybody and perform anyway. Be loud, say please. Ask why he refuses. Don’t you like it? Don’t stop, follow him. Be persistent. Say it is good fun and that you are cheap. If he is not willing ask why. I am not cheap enough, you ask. Say you are desperate. Say that you have heard you like it, I’m sure you’ll like it. Look at my mouth, say. Tell it is good fun and you have been dreaming about doing it exactly with someone like you. I like your smile. Don’t stop until you are removed and kicked out of the place for disturbance and continue to do it outside gallery space.
Another idea: Hire a male prostitute and go to a museum opening among people you do not know (friends and colleagues). When speeches are over and people are enjoying cocktails, themselves, choose a visible spot. Go on your knees and give the male prostitute a good old-fashioned blowjob. Don’t forget to swallow. Don’t stop sucking his penis even though you will be interrupted and told to get lost. Talk dirty, shout loudly and laugh, lick everything.
She looks like she has had a rough life, full of hardship and violence. How does that first impression make us look at her? It is a drawing from a picture of an arrested person which I found online, an elderly woman with fierce look on her face. She is not defeated, she is not surprised and she is very different from an ideal look for a woman which interests me. I don’t know who she is, what she did or what has been done to her. Her face is a story. We let our imagination wonder and wander when we let it and are able to, assumptions and stereotypes lead our thinking very easily. Feelings of contempt and repulsion, feeling of fear, of pity, wanting to judge her on the spot come so quick and toss her aside as unwanted now that she is captured.