ever widening maw

Food of France, a blend at hotel FountaineBleau in Miami at sunrise. Arrange her, her open yawn, a complaint I could see down her throat, reddish and hear a voice. How to arrange something,  something locked away, something grown to squeak in the uncomfort and disability of contemporary womanhood. Horrified, please stop. Sunglasses. Original attractive unpowered without a change, so loud homogeneity, carefully crafted, commitment to the kind of planning, please send us your very best words, washing quantities humming alone.

2000

Soundtrack of this is so musical.

Soundtrack of this is so musical.
  1. Easy Tree Generator with Beautiful Hearts
  2. La Maman et La Putain by George B.
  3. Tango B in me
  4. Oijoijoi Muchas Machos sung whisperingly by Him.
  5. Oye Oye Lucia! Running wild with Children of the Night
  6. Where is Bela Lugosi now? i don’t care, in heaven with me.
  7. There! Believe it! said Michael playing with his tongue.
  8. Of Course i like Madonna. I’m shallow in the best way.
  9. Tampere JAZZ happening is always hip.
  10. Me singing whatever comes to my mind every now and then, also talking to myself!
    ………….What! Are you Crazy??
  11. Sounds of the sea continuously
  12. Sounds of sleeping
  13. Sounds of the traffic
  14. Sounds of walking
    Anything by that beautiful Finnish Female composer. She is always in my phone.
  15. Hola.
  16. Yes I would do that.
  17. ‘Oh Fuck’ is a drink with white rum, lemon and pineapple juice and soda or orange juice, pour ingredients how you feel.
  18. O real thing, SHostakovitsh, Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk. Awesome.
  19. Yes, I do love you, but you choose not to love me, so.
  20. Farewell song anything goes.

Why women drink?/Black Sabbath was flying stoned.

watercolour, 2010

Black Sabbath was flying stoned 

Color is black.
What is with your hair?
Eat hamburgers and drink beer like ordinary people.
How ordinary..Death by drunken asphyxiation, death by misadventure, death by boredom, death by Split Beaver. Well, I never.
Setting these fucking pyro things at seven gates of Hell. We were rehearsing because of red clouds of smoke.
Writing Satan’s love songs to have a breakthrough, we were really screwed.
Women wanted to do certain things with us which had never happened before.
No rest for the wicked.
Characters immortalized in denim and leather.
Man who is a lie will not do.
It was metallers who were having to look elsewhere to find anything heavy. 

His w

It is bass in his voice
reifying the opposition, difference of quality in low and something large.
Foamy chocolate heart of an image, still fingers hateful night, and so on. But yes, it is romantic. Searching for sources of awe even in contempt. I have a constant feeling of guilt for I don’t know what, for that and that. Quiet masochism. Dirty and cheap in between. But it is not me. I’m the receiver of his favor, of he paying attention, making me solid out of these pieces he found and what is me. 

Moon as a triple reflection on a window demonstrated by a street lamp. I go slowly by floating like asleep, as sleep itself, sleeping. Sink my hands into foam, into my hands and his voice, rub it on my face to feel his w. 

You do not have power

You do not have power

I am nothing.
I have nothing.
I come from nothing.
I know nothing.
I was born yesterday.
Tomorrow I will be born yesterday.
This is something I struggle to understand.
I am defined by others.
I can’t define myself. 
I do not understand. 
I am so young.
I am so silent.
Wet behind my ears, naked in front of everybody, puzzled.
Reason for my existence is this:
act childlike, be helpless, speak with soft voice, smile, be kind.
Don’t have lots of sex with men, don’t think you can have lots of sex with men, but be willing. Don’t show your pain, don’t talk about your pain. Tell what has happened to you, don’t tell what has happened to you. Don’t wander around, don’t look for knowledge, don’t think you have got talent, don’t think you are special, don’t think you are rational.

What is a proper laughter for women? Hold your hand in front of your mouth? Be timid. Women shouldn’t laugh loudly like hyenas, like monkeys, like donkeys even though they are subhuman. Don’t look untended, don’t look unfinished even though you are unfinished. Don’t lift heavy objects, don’t do dirty work, don’t do men’s work, you are not capable. Don’t wear revealing clothing, but be naked, because you are, we see you. Don’t be better than men, keep your composure, keep calm, keep the look, keep smiling. Don’t speak up, don’t speak out. Don’t speak against, don’t contradict. Don’t show long face, don’t show discontent, don’t complain, criticize, but not too much, we don’t want to hear it. Don’t swear, don’t act manly, don’t walk manly, don’t sit manly. Don’t get drunk. Don’t be humorless, don’t be uptight, don’t disagree, don’t be a bitch. Don’t think you have power.

2008/What is truly ugly?

What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?
What is truly ugly?