The Suprerum set of Numbers – Human the Beast and the Need for Love part 2: To exist, to perish, it has existed, we exist, they perished. A Questionaire of What. 2013. What do microchips and rape have in common? It’s weird 2021.

This is a test. This is a wound and how it was made. The unhealing of open flesh.
How everything happens, everything – saying out loud is tiring, the all and what we know about it what is around us and why it happens as it does. Not a break, not a sigh or time to rest, but observe and know more and think how one changes and absorbs. There is no time to stop. This is to understand what I know or think I know, what there is to know.

About microchip. Varietās Ingeniosus, paradigm of varietas, variety. Where is it? What about it? Where do we have them and why? What kind of information does it entail and collect? Who knows about microchips and what they do? I have heard about it. How can it be used against us? Is it so that it can be hacked? And what does that mean especially for consumers, equipment owners, in the means of privacy. Is there privacy anymore? How are we monitored? Spied, looked at, laughed at, called slaves, zombies, what else, whores. Who is the hacker and what are the reasons to hack?

”By definition the integrated circuit aka microchip is a set of interconnected electronic components such as transistors and resistors, that are etched or imprinted on onto a tiny chip of a semiconducting material, such as silicon or germanium.” http://inventors.about.com/od/computersandinternet/a/microchip.htm

”Microchips, also known as integrated circuits, are the little pieces of semi-conductive material that make most of your information-storing electronics tick. Without them, the computer would not have gone past the level of being a simple calculator. Microchips have made it possible to turn electricity into information. The large amount of transistors contained inside them signal “on” and “off” states which can represent a zero or a one in binary language. Integrated circuits in microchips can be structured in a way that can make a computer not only store information but process it. Microprocessors are microchips that allow computers to “think.” They are basically small chips that execute commands and perform actions based on the input that is given.”

”The microchip might be the single most important invention of the twentieth century. Ironically, it took a relatively young scientist who could not take time off work to perfect the microchip in his downtime. The applications of the microchip are almost too many to name, and suffice it to say, the current world cannot function without it. According to ASME, microchips will only get smaller and powerful. In addition to increased processing power for software applications, computer chips will eventually also have “artificial intelligence,” responding to touch and even holding conversations. The National Academy of Engineering believes that microchips will be small enough to install in humans to monitor health. The development of the microchip has led to losses and gains. Transport and communication costs have fallen and the financial services sector has prospered, but farming has suffered. Overall, however, employment has increased.”

Read more: Technological Importance of the Microchip | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/facts_7326740_technological-importance-microchip.html#ixzz2MU6Y0df0 Read more: What are Microchips Used In? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5683133_microchips-used-in_.html#ixzz2MU6CU6n6

“The year 2000 problem known as the Y2K problem and the millennium bug was the most important thing on most companies minds in 1999. Critical industries (such as electricity or financial) and government functions could stop working at 12:00 AM, January 1, 2000. This fear was fueled by the press coverage and other media speculation, as well as corporate and government reports. All over the world companies and organizations checked and upgraded their computer systems.” http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/electronics.html

and Why

1. The Transistor ( The creation of the transistor provided a tool using the power of electricity to make an ON/ OFF Digital Switch , which is the basis for nearly every advance we use today.)

The use, to use, utilize, make things happen, what things? Mobilize us, make our lives faster, things in our lives to happen rapidly, information to pass forward, to let know. Knowledge and how far we drift from it. What is important to know, what we need to know and want to know. There are people who don’t want to hear about the bad in life, let’s concentrate on the happy things and have a cup of coffee. The easiness of not knowing. To turn one’s back to the pile of thrash. I haven’t seen the struggling and pain, it does not exist in my world. Is that how it goes or is it a different kind of struggling and pain. How do you suffer? How to measure the amount of one individual pain? What creates pain? Is it the shame of not knowing? The opposite of pleasure. How much pain can a person take, like when tortured? Sure, ache is different with different reasons. Some take more than others. What causes ache in people’s lives? Why is life so full of pain caused by hurt suckers and motherfuckers? To kill, to murder, we want to see murder. We want to see suffering to ease our own hurt. To see fear on someone’s face and laugh at it. I’m glad it was not me. To that person who is afraid. Why is causing pain like a machine? What is the machinery in us that ticks. So far it is not by corporations. It is machine-like activity that is fairly easy to guess. How certain kind of people think and act, in which social level, with whom are you seen with. The rules and hierarchies moving people and their mind tick like clocks. One cannot make a mistake once you know the patterns how. It is dangerous to see through. Unavoidable, unescapable quality of human life, suffering and how people survive and learn. If you suffer you must make the other suffer too. Could you learn away from that feeling and need to revenge? To let know how one feels inside. A circle that never stops. Revenge, ignorance, selfishness make people function and create hate, war, famine, death and poverty. It is to blame human nature and it cannot be changed, shit happens? That is how it looks.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pain

But, there is good in people, I still believe..so why the destruction? That would be a true revolution for people to thoroughly understand how to treat each other in a respectful way. What ways cause happiness and which means hurt? To learn that and unlearn the negative, or learn from it. Why hurt? What is the meaning of hurt in human life as a basic tool? For who is it meaningful and how? Pain, suffering, killing, violence are used to subject, slave, oppress, to dominate, rule, deliberately cause violence and death. Hurt to live, to feel superior, to have power, to feel big, is it a matter of size, dominance, to own, to have, to have something to say, to prove one’s worth. What kind of person uses violence to make a point? It is seen as a male quality, but women are as violent, the ways to be violent may differ. People are a creative species. I am repeating myself. I don’t care.Varietās Ingeniosus, paradigm of varietas, variety. How not to make this complexity only two-dimensional or one-sided, flat object to discard from the car window to vanish by roadside. Let the multiplicity multiply and flourish. Could you. But it is like a jungle out here. Freaking scary! So sick, to live and perish, vanish without a trace to space. Or to leave garbage behind and drive away.

Not completely other matter is to penetrate someone. It was seen by some radical hard-core badass feminists as a violent act, as rape. So, to enjoy sex is an impossibility by this idea. Fanatic approach can get bit too much, too far-fetched. Or how should sex be like then? Caresses, kisses, sighs, arrayed on a continuum from liberal to radical. Liberal views tend to regard rape as a gender-neutral assault on individual autonomy, likening it to other forms of assault and/or illegitimate appropriation, and focusing primarily on the harm that rape does to individual victims (what?). More radical views, in contrast, contend that rape must be recognized and understood as an important pillar of patriarchy. Johnson defines patriarchy as a social system in which men disproportionately occupy positions of power and authority, central norms and values are associated with manhood and masculinity (which in turn are defined in terms of dominance and control), and men are the primary focus of attention in most cultural spaces (2005, 4-15). Radical feminists see rape as arising from patriarchal constructions of gender and sexuality within the context of broader systems of male power, and emphasize the harm that rape does to women as a group.

In addition, radical feminist approaches to rape often share one or more of the following three features. First, they regard the deprivation of women’s bodily sovereignty―in particular, male control over the sexual and reproductive uses of women’s bodies―as a central defining element of patriarchy (Whisnant 2007). As a result, they analyze rape as one of multiple forms of men’s sexual violence and exploitation, looking at their interconnections and how they work in concert to maintain and reinforce women’s oppression. Second, they expand the definition of ‘rape’ to encompass more than just overt physical force and violence (or the explicit threat thereof). Recognizing the ways in which broad patterns of male power systematically compromise women’s bodily and sexual freedom, and challenging the equation of female submission with meaningful consent, they tend to see a kind of continuum (rather than a bright dividing line) between rape and much “normal” heterosexual activity. Third, the focus on group-based oppression has also led many radical feminist thinkers to examine the role of rape itself, and of ideologies about rape, in creating and reproducing not only patriarchy but multiple systems of domination, including racism and colonialism.” http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/feminism-rape/

Ideologies of rape? People being raped to state a position, to show superiority, to state superiority. Power over someone requires penetration, abuse. Shows ability. What kind of ability is that? How able are we in destruction, capable of fucking off and lolling. How radical should Feminism get? As radical as is needed to make a change, because at the moment our way of life is merely intolerable abuse of nature and people. And will Feminism change anything? It already has changed a great

tenderness, weel ok. I guess it would satisfy. ”Feminist views of rape can be understood as

deal. Women who have taken extreme measures have done something good for the mankind. For the kind man and the unkind. As women being the inferior sex Feminism has a lot of potential. It is a state of war. Unfortunately. Feminists do it in non-violent ways. Yes, the stereotyped picture of a Feminist may hurt the cause of feminism for a little while. Burdens are elsewhere, not on Feminist shoulders, because we are free of fear, Unlike many others. activism cannot stay unchanged or care what will happen to me if I do this. The dividing factors between sexes and how they are made and why, men versus women, poor vs. rich, black and white, which doesn’t make it easy to promote the cause. Stereotypes are built strongly in the structures of our minds, traditions, ways of life, sexes and societies.

As men can be Feminists, if they choose to, will they? It seems unlikely. Would it be too much for a macho to accept an ideology with Femi- in it? To stand for ideas held by feminism, those strange feminists. There is something scary about them. You bet. Mostly people should be extremely scared of themselves. Can men accept female in them? What kind of revolution would that be? That is a different world all together. The overwhelming masculinity has taken over, we have chosen to perish. continuity is what people seek for on the level of cells, jobs, economy, DNA and I wanna see my kids grow. Thinking you are perfection and want your children to follow your ideals as healthy and sane individuals, adults, avoiding shaming your name. To continue name, family, honour, ownership, integrity, what else..stories, family heritage and photographs. That is all good. It is something that has a brought tons of weight in my life for many different reasons and now I refuse to take it. And no it has not been very enjoyable here so far. To have a good life, be a good wife. I don’t think so. Gigantic load of tradition given by one’s family (if one wants to take it), not to mention one’s genetics. Bah Hah! What is this thing called Humanity? To be me, and them, and to those who were. We’ll see. Or better yet, it is in front of us already, the mountain of filth.

This is a test. This is a wound and how it was made. The unhealing of open flesh.
How everything happens, everything – saying out loud is tiring, the all and what we know about it what is around us and why it happens as it does. Not a break, not a sigh or time to rest, but observe and know more and think how one changes and absorbs. There is no time to stop. This is to understand what I know or think I know, what there is to know.

This is calculating the possibilities of survival during and after. Probability of survival estimated is like planning a trip to. Asking stupid questions, questioning stupidity, which is thinking of knowing but still not knowing much. I’m trying to comprehend like everybody else the goals of the Western world as a Westerner and female. Western heritage is about knowing the truth, what is right, being on the side of facts and what is good. It is the heritage of Christianity and science, history of conquerors and winners. To rule as a white male, a meat-eating hero, the conqueror who thinks that rabbits eat vegetables, well they do. Is it to say you are better than the rabbits, because it doesn’t show. How you evolve tells how good you are, not what you think you should be and stay that way thinking this is the best there is. Do I have the same goals, the same direction as everybody else? Which strange goal I’m part of, where does it go and what is it, this goal of ours, this conqueror we still desire to be, where do we want to go, this set of systems we have created. I am a living system in this set of systems, we are bunch of systems systematically and without a clue trying to calculate the ways to manage, but not knowing, shooting in the dark. Systems that aren’t serving humanity and nature, but destroying them but still making something totally new. Is it possible to get rid of systems that we have created and build new ones? Dependency on money, vehicles, machines, electricity, food supply, media is shrinking our minds. Could we live without this regime or some of them? It is a question of what we want life to be. How we want to live it. Fast, hedonist, proud, ambitious, do we have to give up everything of that wealth we have made to save ourselves and others. What do we essentially need? What are human needs?

To go, to move, to travel. What is the happening happening. What is up? What is up there? What is down here? What is the ultimate want? What is the desire, lust, need, yearning. There is something. There is something here, but what, I touch the back of my hand. The reality. It is flesh. It is the skin. How to make it work? It works by itself, I don’t have to think about it, unless there is a malfunction. There is something disturbing about the normal routine of daily function. There is a way I don’t like, I don’t want, the destruction and hurt. Hunger and poverty. I oppose. It hurts my vulnerability. It hurts my sense of justice. How vulnerable am I? Very. I would not survive without water. Do I survive without love? Yes, but it makes you see things in a strange light. There is something truthful and honest in total lack of love. For me it has been the image of man for which I have no trust whatsoever. It is a sad picture. Horrid in its plain abandonment, contempt and narcissism. How do I make myself vulnerable? How much more vulnerable can one be as I am? I can be easily destroyed and I don’t doubt one bit the abilities of people to just do that. It is what they do best. How much am I willing to do and sacrifice for others? Getting the satisfaction and knowledge, I have tried to make things better, not just talked about it. How much is good to be sensitive, open to be hurt. Who wants to hurt and why? To hurt so that I bleed. What really is to get hurt? Is it guilt, shame in front of everybody? Is it being born unwanted? Is it being sold to prostitution, gang raped, killed, mutilated, destroyed as a worthless cunt. Yes that resonates with pain and that pain is justified because women are dirty, evil, subhuman, beneath capable and worthy, that pain is justified, unfelt.

I’m lucky in many ways, I have an obligation to make a change, to work for the change, because I’m sick of the news. That is a reason to live, to make the future look brighter. And how will that happen? What can I do? That is a Billion Dollar question. Or well, these questions are free of charge. My feelings at the moment, loath, disgust, anger and raged in front of massacres and pain unimaginable.

What is it like to have a vagina? How much is it worth? It is obviously question of worth and penetration. How much does a cunt cost? What kind of question is that? I think it is quite a normal routine thing to go through, no? The value of one’s genitals, what do you do with them, what does it do to you, how your genitals are you. What is vagina like? Is there a model vagina because they are all different? There is this porno-industry cunt that has become fashionable as women and young girls have an operation to change their healthy, normal flower-like genitalia into hairless porno star vaginas. A plastic surgeon removes part of vagina to make it look better for men to see, aesthetic. It is not known if this operation takes also the female pleasure away, but who cares about female pleasure. Is it ok to talk about genitals, right? Isn’t it the most wanted possession, a virgin vagina, not penetrated, untouched, tight and pure. There are millions of girls that are unwanted because of their sex or wanted only as one thing, for one thing. They are unworthy and put to work at a very young age, or parents don’t want girls, girls are a burden, they abort the fetus. Woman is a commodity as a sex tool. This has Nothing to do with simplicity though it may seem so. Simplicity is not human quality, we are very complex. Filled with complexes, but we want to simplify things and life since it is easier to be the man in a simplified world. But it does not suit me. I don’t want to live in such a world.

It is a way to survive in a male dominated world, where lack of sex seems to be an issue, to sell sex is therefore very logical. Lack of a hole to penetrate, to invade, to intrude, to have for pleasure. Blind sexual desire needs to be filled, satisfied like hunger, it is a basic need. After multiple orgasms, myriad pleasure, when woman is used, wasted, won, put to shame, the partner, the cunt owning man is the conqueror, conceiver, operator, maker.

The one who was penetrated is nothing but the bearer of quilt. Objectified, killed as a person, a slave, animal, garbage. There are others, better ones. Go and get them. They are willing, always, because they have to make it. How To understand the depth of contempt against femininity, women, vagina and women’s rights. It is difficult, because it is also in women. The Hate against women is so visible, how can’t you see it or do anything about it. Women have contempt against each other. They are rivals, envy keeps us going and it establishes our social hierarchies to winners and losers, if you like such games. Women diminish themselves so easily, like it is a place made for them, us, me and it looks as if could not be changed. That is because we are under a threat. Loath against women has a long history that continues still, history of rape, being owned by men and being measured as a commodity to be sold and used. We are selling ourselves cheap. What is a cunt worth? I am not worthy as a human being, is the message. This has been the message since I was a child and it had something to do with my sex. I know this sounds appalling and untrue, in a modern country like Finland. We are not as equal and free as we think we are. How to be free? What is freedom?

To be a woman is an obstacle, woman does things wrong in a womanly manner. There is something wrong. Womanly manner is slow, soft, maybe insecure, what is said is softened by laughter. Looking for acceptance, protection and safety. Women seen through what they do wrong, how they are wrong, how they should be, and what happens to women who are not the way they should be. This goes for men too, but especially women are targeted, looked at, a body, hair, breasts, ass and vagina, clothes. Shaming, calling names, disrespectful behavior, which starts from early age, which is learned: How to be a woman. What is a woman? One learns the ways of sex from early age, learns to belong to a sex and its codes. Women have long hair, it is feminine. Boys don’t play with dolls. These were some of the gender rules that were told without hesitation. That’s how it is. When I was young. Women like pink, pink fantasies, fairies. Everything in life goes around sex, the dos and don’ts. We are very strictly regulated, even if we think we are not. We begin to censor ourselves and each other, censor what is said, done, written, acted, behaved, worn, studied, lived, read, watched. The test is how one manages in this kind of life, in systematic ruling run by capitalistic/neoliberal playing played by us as sexes.

THE SUPRERUM SET OF NUMBERS – HUMAN THE BEAST AND the NEED FOR LOVE. 2013.

This is a test. This is a wound and how it was made. The unhealing of open flesh.

Buxom garbage times a million times the time to get rid of it. 1 million seconds is 11.57 days. How long will you live, can you actually read this, where are you now, how many hours do you work per day, how many steps did you take, what kind of steps? Million, billion, trillion, stuttering fear of expressing oneself clearly, but why be afraid? Fear of what, where does it come from? Hierarchy by machinery: Human the Beast and Need for Love, paradigm of varietas, variety: you have to understand it, see it, accept it and be it.

Buxom garbage times a million times the time to get rid of it.
1 million seconds is 11.57 days. How long will you live, can you actually read this, where are you now, how many hours do you work per day, how far is your place of work, how do you get there?

Length: There are one Million Millimetres in a Kilometre and roughly a Million sixteenths of an inch in a mile. A typical car tire might rotate a million times in a 1,200-mile (1,900 km) trip, while the engine would do several times that number of revolutions.
¥ Fingers: If the width of a human finger is 2.2225 cm (7/8 inch), then a million fingers lined up would cover a distance of approximately 22 km (14 mi). If a person walks at a speed of 4 km/h, it would take them approximately five and a half hours to reach the end of the fingers. Physical quantities can also be expressed using the SI prefix mega, when dealing with SI units. For example, 1 megawatt equals 1,000,000 watts.

The meaning of the word “million” is common to the short scale and long scale numbering systems, unlike the larger numbers, which have different names in the two systems.

The million is sometimes used in the English language as a metaphor for a very large number, as in “Never in a million years” and “You’re one in a million”, or a hyperbole, as in “I’ve walked a million miles” and “You’ve asked the million-dollar question”. Wikipedia

Living in the world of numbers, with numbers, with figures, scales, scenarios, tests, tubes, cubes, geometry. In the world of plenty, multitude, richness, bigness, grand being equal to something valuable, our lives are based on measurements and how well we see what is in front of us. To measure something puts it in a place in our rational universe. Gives a meaning and place, tells function or how something works as being as big or as small as it is in a relation to others similar in comparison to difference. We need to find the similar which pleases us, something to relate to and tell what we are not. What is me, what is within me, how do I work, what is the smallest piece of me? What can I do? What can a human being do? To do and think is the measure of me. What can I do, what am I able to learn to make and who tells me what to do, I am able to do. Should I obey? Yes, I’m humble servant of what really is. Why would anybody else define my doings when there is so little understanding of what is and who anyone really is? What kind of hierarchy inhabits around me, puts me in my place, or I think some forces try very hard to. How do I take place of mine and define myself, know myself or think I know myself? What kind of slaves or machines are we (very good ones, very good.). If we live in slavery without probably being alerted, not noticing or caring much about it. Or are we too scared to change the situations of ours. I always wonder what are we scared of. To live in fear, stop for heaven’s sake. What will happen to us if we step outside.

Calculating the possibilities of survival after an atomic attack, counting my hair. How many cells do I have and isn’t it heavenly I survive without needing to think about them and their action? So this is a difficult task for me to get inside the world of numbers (When did I leave it? Or when was it introduced to me thoroughly?) and maybe understand how the world works or working makes it, makes me possible, makes us as we make it. It has taken me a long time to realize where numbers come from, what are equations, theorems, a language too difficult for many, what it means. History of Mathematics was not thought at school and I didn’t realize the beauty of numbers until now that I understood that Physics and understanding it was so vital to understanding existence. Hah indeed and how small, Everything and everybody by numbers and movement, reactions. Numbers entail order, amount, structure, aristocracy, hierarchy, secrecy and the truth, reality and mystery, mistakes. Those who understand and those who don’t.

The use, to use, utilize, make things happen. What things? Mobilize us, make our lives faster, things in our lives to happen rapidly, information to pass forward, to let know what happens, why and when. Knowledge and how far we drift from it the more we are exposed to it, access to it, what are the things we want to know and things we don’t want to know, things we forget in a minute. What is important to know and what we need to know. There are people who don’t want to hear about the bad, the ugly, the truthful, let’s concentrate on the happy things and have a cup of something, enjoy the now. The easiness of not knowing is a kind of relief and stressless state. To turn one’s back to the pile of thrash for example. Someone who has not seen the struggling and the pain will be shocked and someone who has seen those things a lot is used to bad things, expects them to happen. It exists in my world, the bad. Is that how it goes or is it different kind of struggling and pain we all experience being unable to connect, because we either minimize or do not see other people’s struggles or don’t want to get involved? How do you suffer, is your suffering big or small, do you make it known for others or keep it to yourself? What makes it big or small, do you talk about it a lot or not at all? How to measure the amount and intensity of one individual’s pain? What creates pain? Is it the shame of not knowing what it means or just because of hurt? The opposite of pleasure, lack of pleasure or inability to understand pleasure. How much pain can a person take, like when tortured? Sure, ache is different with different reasons. Some take more than others. What causes ache in people’s lives? Why is life so full of pain caused by hurt caused by suckers and motherfuckers? To kill, to murder, we want to see murder to see someone suffer. We want to see suffering to ease our own hurt. To see fear on someone’s face and laugh at it. I’m glad it was not me. To that person who is afraid. Why is causing pain like a machine in us? What is the machinery in us that ticks pain. It is machine-like activity that is fairly easy to guess and calculate. How certain kind of people think and act, in which social level, with whom are you seen with. The rules and hierarchies moving people and their mind tick like clocks. One cannot make a mistake once you know the patterns how. It is dangerous to see through. Unavoidable, inescapable quality of human life, suffering and how people survive and learn. If you suffer you must make the other suffer too. Could you learn away from that feeling and the need to revenge? To let know how one feels inside, a circle that never stops. Revenge, ignorance, selfishness, indifference make people function and create hate, war, famine, death and poverty. It is to blame human nature and it cannot be changed, shit happens? That is how it looks.

How everything happens, everything – saying out loud is tiring, the all and what we know about it what is around us and why it happens as it does. Not a break, not a sigh or time to rest, but observe and know more and think how one changes and absorbs. There is no time to stop. This is to understand what I know or think I know, what there is to know.

This is calculating the possibilities of survival during and after. Probability of survival estimated is like planning a trip to. Asking questions, questioning stupidity, which is thinking of knowing but still not knowing much, but that we are machines. Western heritage is about knowing the truth, what is right, being on the side of facts and what is good. It is the heritage of Christianity and science, history of conquerors and winners. To rule as a white male, a meat-eating hero, the conqueror who says rabbits eat vegetables. Is it to say you are better than the rabbits, it doesn’t show. How you evolve tells how good you are, not what you think you should be, but you make of yourself and stay that way thinking this is the best there is, a state of evolving. Do I have the same goals, the same direction as everybody else? Which strange goal I’m part of, where does it go and what is it, this goal of ours, this conqueror we still desire to be, where do we want to go, this set of systems we have created. I am a living system in the set of systems, we are bunch of systems systematically and without a clue trying to calculate the ways to manage, but not knowing, shooting in the dark still. I am puzzled. Systems that aren’t serving humanity and nature, but destroying them are strong. Softer ways somehow do not easily win. Is it possible to get rid of systems that we have created and build new ones? Dependency on money, vehicles, machines, electricity, food supply, media which make high-speed a value. Could we live without this regime of speed or just have few of them? It is a question of what we want life to be. How we want to live it. Fast, hedonist, proud, ambitious. Do we have to give up everything of that wealth we have made to save ourselves and others. What do we essentially need? What are human needs? Is it speed?

ever widening maw

Food of France, a blend at hotel FountaineBleau in Miami at sunrise. Arrange her, her open yawn, a complaint I could see down her throat, reddish and hear a voice. How to arrange something,  something locked away, something grown to squeak in the uncomfort and disability of contemporary womanhood. Horrified, please stop. Sunglasses. Original attractive unpowered without a change, so loud homogeneity, carefully crafted, commitment to the kind of planning, please send us your very best words, washing quantities humming alone.

2000

Soundtrack of this is so musical.

Soundtrack of this is so musical.
  1. Easy Tree Generator with Beautiful Hearts
  2. La Maman et La Putain by George B.
  3. Tango B in me
  4. Oijoijoi Muchas Machos sung whisperingly by Him.
  5. Oye Oye Lucia! Running wild with Children of the Night
  6. Where is Bela Lugosi now? i don’t care, in heaven with me.
  7. There! Believe it! said Michael playing with his tongue.
  8. Of Course i like Madonna. I’m shallow in the best way.
  9. Tampere JAZZ happening is always hip.
  10. Me singing whatever comes to my mind every now and then, also talking to myself!
    ………….What! Are you Crazy??
  11. Sounds of the sea continuously
  12. Sounds of sleeping
  13. Sounds of the traffic
  14. Sounds of walking
    Anything by that beautiful Finnish Female composer. She is always in my phone.
  15. Hola.
  16. Yes I would do that.
  17. ‘Oh Fuck’ is a drink with white rum, lemon and pineapple juice and soda or orange juice, pour ingredients how you feel.
  18. O real thing, SHostakovitsh, Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk. Awesome.
  19. Yes, I do love you, but you choose not to love me, so.
  20. Farewell song anything goes.

Why women drink?/Black Sabbath was flying stoned.

watercolour, 2010

Black Sabbath was flying stoned 

Color is black.
What is with your hair?
Eat hamburgers and drink beer like ordinary people.
How ordinary..Death by drunken asphyxiation, death by misadventure, death by boredom, death by Split Beaver. Well, I never.
Setting these fucking pyro things at seven gates of Hell. We were rehearsing because of red clouds of smoke.
Writing Satan’s love songs to have a breakthrough, we were really screwed.
Women wanted to do certain things with us which had never happened before.
No rest for the wicked.
Characters immortalized in denim and leather.
Man who is a lie will not do.
It was metallers who were having to look elsewhere to find anything heavy. 

His w

It is bass in his voice
reifying the opposition, difference of quality in low and something large.
Foamy chocolate heart of an image, still fingers hateful night, and so on. But yes, it is romantic. Searching for sources of awe even in contempt. I have a constant feeling of guilt for I don’t know what, for that and that. Quiet masochism. Dirty and cheap in between. But it is not me. I’m the receiver of his favor, of he paying attention, making me solid out of these pieces he found and what is me. 

Moon as a triple reflection on a window demonstrated by a street lamp. I go slowly by floating like asleep, as sleep itself, sleeping. Sink my hands into foam, into my hands and his voice, rub it on my face to feel his w. 

You do not have power

You do not have power

I am nothing.
I have nothing.
I come from nothing.
I know nothing.
I was born yesterday.
Tomorrow I will be born yesterday.
This is something I struggle to understand.
I am defined by others.
I can’t define myself. 
I do not understand. 
I am so young.
I am so silent.
Wet behind my ears, naked in front of everybody, puzzled.
Reason for my existence is this:
act childlike, be helpless, speak with soft voice, smile, be kind.
Don’t have lots of sex with men, don’t think you can have lots of sex with men, but be willing. Don’t show your pain, don’t talk about your pain. Tell what has happened to you, don’t tell what has happened to you. Don’t wander around, don’t look for knowledge, don’t think you have got talent, don’t think you are special, don’t think you are rational.

What is a proper laughter for women? Hold your hand in front of your mouth? Be timid. Women shouldn’t laugh loudly like hyenas, like monkeys, like donkeys even though they are subhuman. Don’t look untended, don’t look unfinished even though you are unfinished. Don’t lift heavy objects, don’t do dirty work, don’t do men’s work, you are not capable. Don’t wear revealing clothing, but be naked, because you are, we see you. Don’t be better than men, keep your composure, keep calm, keep the look, keep smiling. Don’t speak up, don’t speak out. Don’t speak against, don’t contradict. Don’t show long face, don’t show discontent, don’t complain, criticize, but not too much, we don’t want to hear it. Don’t swear, don’t act manly, don’t walk manly, don’t sit manly. Don’t get drunk. Don’t be humorless, don’t be uptight, don’t disagree, don’t be a bitch. Don’t think you have power.