Truth, difficult to accept, difficult to write open. Is it in front of us? Can we find it? It can be unbearable, definitely hidden. We so much like to believe the good and the beautiful talk, pictures, that there will be better future for us. Unbearable because it will make us see ourselves as we are, our chances if we have them or not and where we stand. Grim nature of truth is human. Hard to say out loud and hard to stop and listen. Truth of animals is very clear, life is about survival, eating, killing, breeding, over and over. People want to be kings, they want to rule and win, be head of all, say the last word, silence those who say the unbearable and dirty. To just survive is what it still is, kill or be killed, be admired or forgotten. It is as scary and bloody as any survival battle. To be scared is to be alert constantly and to know that there is always a threat or two to watch out. You cannot trust anyone. When you do you make a mistake. How does that sound? Something like trust and faith may be unthinkable but we most have them in something, there is no time to trust and have faith for some. In this picture we rather take the lie because it is more pretty and we like to believe the pretty, it makes us look better than we are, a tale of something better and something to belong to. Choose to live a lie is to think that there is something better than this, that you deserve what you have got. To know what is the truth we must see the effort to find it out which task also is very often hard to do. Truth for humans is there aren’t many things to count on but betrayal and pain. Many like the easy way out of this fact, the unbearable life, unbearable you, unbearable everybody else, cold weather, cold world and endless cruelty.
http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a46918/heroin-mexico-el-chapo-cartels-don-winslow/ “Guzmán had worked and killed his way up to the big leagues by the time he first went to prison, in 1993. While he was running his business from his suite inside Puente Grande federal prison, I was working on a book called The Power of the Dog,the first of three novels I’ve written about the evolution of the Mexican drug scene.”
El Chapo and Buddy