Appearance being so important to us, our minds revolve around how we look and what is thought of us, what is seen as us and how to that sight is reacted. Our appearance is self-expression which we must be very aware of and think what does our expression mean to the viewer. Image of self is to know how much is it a show and what is it meant to do. What can be done with that self we are, the body that is you, how do you feel about you, how do you use your whole self can have interesting conflict there with the inner self, culture we are born into and the rest of us what obviously affect all and those who observe. They all who are watching have a thing to say. It is one kind of totalitarianism to which we volunteer or not. To be able to choose is a luxury, to have freedom of expression. How one thinks of oneself, what is the factual you to be found, visible and how does one evolve, what is the pressure there and who is in command. What is the direction to take up and follow as we are advised to find the best us, the best you, what is that and when do we know ourselves? When nobody accepts you as you are, there is a problem and it is you. It is not the environment, it is what the environment thinks that counts, so change yourself or rebel. You will not find yourself by playing by the rules and expectations that are handed over to you, the conflict is constant and decision is yours up to a point. Somewhere you do not get to choose. This I believe has resulted a society that is afraid of conflict, afraid to disagree and afraid of not always looking one’s best. The best being agreeable and clean. That you there is silently sobbing or anonymously raging but feeling strongly nevertheless. Conflict is instant as our problems are nowadays huge, to solve the arguments we have that are unsolvable because no one is willing to back down.

How to deal with racism, sexism, fascism, fanaticism is to condemn and demonstrate against, but to really live by principles that are not sexist, fascist, racist and fanatic and are against those things may be more difficult than we realise as we do not recognise these things necessarily in our behaviour unless we have analysed and thought through what it is one is doing and thinking and if we do not experience the negative poisonous things ourselves. It is an every day concern how to present oneself, what is the right way, that as how the self is presented and read, what is the actual you, how does it come to be and what can and must be controlled. What is the pretence there, which part of you is to hide or change, what cannot be shown or changed but must be dealt with. What is here to deal with is what to take seriously and what not, what can be seen what is happening. To be hopeful, presentable and accepted, have a positive mental attitude and think about growth, growing. To grow is to add, to be more. How can we be more than what we are is to learn and understand what there is to learn. How to be more when anything extra you thought was growth is unachievable or taken away, extra being the wealth, possessions or the weight of you, your output, your purpose. Weight being fat, trauma, the garbage you wear and eat, say, do and think, the negative thinking, wrong way of living and working etc. The right kind of load to get rid off, we have lots of tutorials online. Often we ourselves do not accept our bodies as we are too close to it, live with it, in it, it with us. We observe ourselves constantly, but still the body is unfamiliar, hostile and strange. It is unfamiliar as an organism which changes constantly. We do not control it, but we do something to it, manipulate it, so it is not natural. Our bodies are under attack by germs, pollution, other people, expectations, food and drink and we are bombarded by experts who give us daily advise how to mould that piece of physique that is you to be something which is maybe the other and more suitable. So how to know you seems a mission impossible, again, but it is one main goal. The impossible there is the unbearable, the uncontrollable, which is especially our feelings. How to understand where feelings come from and what do they mean to our existence is essential and too much disregarded and underestimated still. Emotions are inferior even though they rule. To look like one is not falling apart but in control, one’s life is in order and in fashion. Holding oneself together is to keep composure and keep calm. There is style to it and there are rules. A one piece moving ahead having a life worth living.

For a lot of people life goes around how to look, presenting that as self and how to keep up with that appearance which is presented to us as better and new. Are we owners of self at all or manufactured? To preserve oneself as fresh and as new as possible, presentable, agreeable, then there are people who don’t give in to the culture of appearance, not giving it that much thought, because it is not the most acute problem in a world of problems or blending in is the safest place to be. If sticking out causes problems for you it is a 100% sticking out is unlikely to happen in full, for some hiding is impossible, then you are vulnerable. It is a problem of our world, the magnitude and endless trouble, policing neurotically, hurting and pointing out the difference which is seen a flaw, abnormal and to be cured. How does that other one look like, wrong or right, is he hostile or weaker and where does he or she stand? What is that look about, what is it telling you and why do you read appearances are questions we should think more closely because we think with our eyes not necessarily analytically, definitely not free of judgment. Why bulling for example based on appearance continues to be the most often and frequent issue for many, bullying manifesting as power as it is the easiest way to put someone down making remarks on appearance and what kind of neuroticism this event in human behaviour creates. It is what we see of a person first, the look of his or hers. What is there to do than look, to look better and not be pushed aside, look like something else, you changes when you change your wardrobe and what is good in doing so is the feel relieved. What is the best, what is the wanted, why it is not you and how to feel about that strange fact that we look like something, different is the personal but unwanted. To comprehend meaning of variety, difference, understand difficulty of having an out of norm quality, seeing ‘obscurity’ and accept seems to be more difficult than expected to for people, to handle and grow not to pay attention, for grown-ups and for children it is almost equally hard. We grow into this culture where pointing out and looking at appearance is important.

Our appearance is the book that is read. It is about knowing. Something admirable must be in you and the personal come out if you dare. What it does for you, this open personal, in your life depends on what you show, how far can we go in showing or revealing ourselves, what is the limit there and what is obscenity. What do you get or don’t get because of what you look like and what you show. Usually it is about sex. Sex has a lot to do with how we look at people, how we look for people and what we look at, are interested in. Attractiveness is the thing, a thrill, to attract people is to entertain. Interesting is the original and the personal still do not obey rules of your own necessarily but the aesthetics of the culture, rules of somebody else, which of course must be the case for us to live in some kind of order. They say people find confidence via looks, they find work and partnership, fulfilment and belonging. People who have found their confidence after having lost the fat on them from the right places truly have felt miserable. There are right places on people and then there are wrong places. It is a competition, an obsession, a way to look at bodies and faces. I have been wondering how superficial is this need, an urge to fit in, that we are seekers for safety is to wear a mask. Visible and too visible can both be too much in finding a comfortable existence, but comfortable does not mean having a quest for growth and change. This search for a look is to make an impression and be accepted and it is about our freedom that is granted for us modern individuals, to be ourselves, find ourselves and what to do with the random stuff that disturbs is to get rid off it. That what is ugly cannot show. Conflicted by finding security, symmetry and risking it. How lost are we with our values that we think are what we are and are good. Do we look like what we are on the inside, in denial, inside out as we seem to think as confessional is the new authentic. The inside we like to hide but connect with those others who feel the same. What is private nowadays anyway. When people comment other people’s appearances out loud they are also getting naked by taking position of the oppressor. That is the moment when people reveal themselves without realising it fully, I think. They think they are powerful in this moment of judgment, that is the trap. The first judgment made on someone is immediate and it is about appearance. We make it obviously naturally and from superior place of entitlement. We measure the one coming up, value of that person. Those who look weird are thought to be weird as people. For men looking scrubby is allowed in totally different way than for women. For sexes looks mean different things. To notice the arrogance, violence and cruelty there is makes the world a violent place very near.