Art of self-portrait has evolved into not examining and studying oneself, but skin and looks are the most interesting things about anyone. It is to judge quickly. A sea of selfies also telling what you look like by the pool in repeat. Oh look, she still by the pool, looks quite youthful. Nice ass. You should look your age I have heard. Really? What is that by the pool?

What’s my age? Well, it is Rock your little heart out and I wanna be a rock’n’roll singer, I heard it pays well. Years and years without a filter, I thought you liked the natural look. Ok, let’s move on. By the pool you age quickly, just so you know.

1998 self-portrait on film.

Depicting oneself, not just how one looks like but bringing one’s personality into a picture, has been one important branch in Fine Art. Don’t know is it about facial expressions like smiling and looking happy and fit, showing the best side I mean that much, but they do have a part, what sides anyone wants others to see and how one sees oneself. An important topic of image of human, you and me before photography and still today the slowness of the process of painting and drawing demands focus, thought, intellect and studying, skill of some sort and desire to do it, look at yourself with all you have got. There still are topics worthy of a picture and those topics that get sidelined. It takes time and an idea of you to frame you. To have an idea of oneself and imagine it further, maybe a little lie, taking time to look at oneself without judging or maybe the most interesting part is what gets judged and should be eliminated. ‘Flaws’ are possible the most interesting part of you, eliminating them, you eliminate something out of you. It is a process which leads to progress and a good starting point of beginning in art, like who are you, what do you focus on in yourself and in the world, what do you want with this picture. Does it matter what others want to see? What is seeing and perceiving, how do we feel when we are looked at?

Selfies seem to tell where you are instead of who you are and tell where you are headed, which is the stars of course, the celebrity, fame to be looked at and gaining wealth. Being rich is what is desired and selfies often want to tell. What fame accomplishes is a sea of images, a very flat world nowadays. What kind of a phone do you have, what are you wearing, how are you feeling, what is your politics and what kind of a mark do you want to leave in the world, how smooth your skin is, what products do you use, something very commercial and sellable, but does tell of you, I suppose. It is like you are for sale and any mistake is monitored and as a result you are either approved or discarded or whatever, making money or not is the valuable to know in what you do, but you want to be accepted as you are with filters and ideals that Instagram shows. Authenticity being a lie is an interesting way to the natural which we all appreciate. Swiping images of faces, what is it? What is this digital mush? Not buying, are you selling, what are you selling? How many beauty products do we need to be happy?

Promoting yourself the most, not examining who you are, constantly, so don’t make a mistake even though those can be the most interesting thing you ever did. How careful do we have to be with images as they are the manufactured good? It is strange in the times of therapy and healing that we are products to be sold or discarded, mocked and used. Messaging what you stand for and that is who you are and have been since the election of Trump, because Trump is bad and you are good. The right side or the wrong one, but as always image is to create you, real or not, a show of you. Do you create the image as is the assumption or is it made for you like a ready-made, an easy enough plan to follow? There are lots of fears concerning the self-image, how people perceive you and do they accept you. Do you accept you and why are you your image? Are you your authentic self as is the desire and need? What does authenticity even mean anymore when opinions are the most dangerous thing? Even makeup is to look natural made artificially, point is to cover any sign of aging, fat or whatever thing people like to stare at.

The viewer might try to find you, but considering how images are modified, reshaped, tuned, controlled, seeing the human is getting more difficult. Just make a statement. It is like we don’t want to be seen, even though your face and body are there, there is a layer or many layers on you. The topic is to look good and sexy on a stream nonstop, sexy by the pool in your bikinis posing. You are pressured to look a certain way and you are corrected to look ‘better’. Social pressure has always been there and still today those who do not conform are odd. Which non-conforming is accepted today, I wonder. I don’t see it. Non-conforming is to go against the grain per se and clearly many don’t like it. I thought that was a good thing. People are surprised when someone doesn’t do as pressured. I am the weak one, right? Today in all freedom and unity women pressure other women to be the image pointing out every flaw in you. I do enjoy my natural state, unmodified and I have no intention joining this mass movement of dullness and looking like celebrities, I mean famous people, enjoying leisure, you do all look the same. That is the ideal, beauty in leisure and it is work. If you make money, it must be work. If it pays well, it is valuable and worth everybody’s time.

So, back to self-portrait, you look at yourself in the mirror or like I first started without it and painted an imaginary picture of myself which I had kept to myself till I painted it. How you picture yourself without seeing yourself physically is an interesting mind exercise of what you think of yourself and how new a picture of you can get, not to mention are you capable of doing it, are you able to hold a pen and start. In a world where others like to define you, tell who you are and should be like and should look like, it is more than a welcome way of practicing learning to know yourself, learning to look at, seeing, being yourself in a hostile environment where people bring chaos into your life just because they can, trying to be unique (whatever that is) and just learning an art technique to move forward. Image today is a proof of you existing and living digitally online and the online is fast moving to change the reality and us into images with few dimensions. Billions of people having phones in their hands standing next to a cliff, say hello to the world. Self-portrait is telling perhaps there is more to you than a snapshot. Selfie is telling how well do you imitate someone else? The Barbi doll is someone to go for in real life for some reason I do not know. The Barbi doll is a mystery even though it is plain obvious living dead. Her body is controlled, fit hourglass and all she does is maybe walk the beach to be seen. Time taken to think about what you are doing other than a product of yourself is also important in finding something humaine and personal or are you erasing the personal, other than you are here and this is how beautiful I look like, like me, want me etc. Beauty being the manufactured kind, that can be rebuilt by surgery over and over again. There is no limit as there are doctors who will do it. Thinking about what is changing in perceiving a person and oneself and do we see every picture as art-like, you as the artwork and everyone is an artist and what does it mean eventually for art, artists and is it even interesting. Maybe art is vanishing as it has been? Art is valuable clearly when it makes money. How the visuals we produce are changing and how much technology dictates the images we make? There is quite much control for good and bad images flattering being one huge reason to do pictures, curating oneself is to be a professional, like poor lighting, unthought background, unfortunate line when drawing, smell of decay and shit etc? The control aspect is what strikes as abuse of power and ‘perfecting’ everything not understanding what is good. A good image of you?


Hello, do you have time to talk about the miracle of plastic surgery?

Self with flashligt, 2014


What is beautiful then? We seem to seek more extravagant beauty routines as experiences more and more, which are part of the idea of beauty, it is a process and constantly new found ingredients, beauty and wellness services and tricks. It seems it is not a matter of personal taste that much but manipulation, influence, advertising, group think and hype, even cost is not an obstacle but personality, individuality and originality go easily scarce when searching for the plastic look. Taste and style which are much guided by industries that produce beauty standards move fast. It is strange to point out one industry and blame that one evil thing when we should look at the whole picture: fashion, cosmetics, movies and pop culture, entertainment and the celebrity boom, social media and meaning of one’s own contribution and image in it. The artificial cosmos around us and what do we want in it, the constant boom and search for immortality perhaps in the lights, which train does not stop but accelerates and speeds up like there was no end as there obviously is not, since we want to be liked in constant movement and the easiest way is via looks, poses, clothes and places to be.

What is this all for, to look stunning to impress, make the best kind of visual impact to attract, seduce, make followers, a reputation and fame, be remembered and looked at as beautiful on the outside, as someone who has great tits, fantastic body parts until one doesn’t anymore? We want to be remembered to have been someone who looked good up to standards and measurements ‘made’ by ‘experts’ of beauty and style or having had style and beauty of our own but not? To be expert on beauty is a person who knows what beauty is, how to be beautiful. Interesting is how personal taste and made up beauty standards meet or what is personal anymore, one’s own, how far people are willing to go in becoming iconic, to be admired and gazed at, desired as sexy, fuckable and sexy are the biggest lures. For those who have the means to do as many surgeries as any surgeon can and is allowed to do on one person…

Having plastic surgery is like candy. It is a culture of looking infantile without maturity, finding satisfaction which quite doesn’t show and having all fast. Somehow happiness is still far away from the perfected body, it is unreachable because there is not a fairy to grant happiness just like that. So it is not in the body parts. It cannot be bought. Instant gratification of looking the way you want is obviously good and you have the right to look the way you want, as long it is what you want. What do you want? To be fake is just plain easy and it is the target to be fake and like faking can be easy as lying, an act. To be as fake as you can and pretend it is the real you, pretend the perfect body and gained lifestyle is the ultimate happy place with similar friends around who share your views and lifestyle. The wrong is when fake becomes the only thing that is worth reaching out for. When a person is not good enough without those things that can be bought, attached to and a body which is molded to match a standard of looking like an ultra feminine female for example, just the way you feel you should. The wrong is when this is the best we can get to become, dream about and walk in. The worse is calling it reality. Calling it real..the real you. People clearly have an issue with reality.

What’s wrong with it? Probably everything. Shouldn’t we be concerned and think about the reasons why people feel bad about the way they look, about body parts that do not fill the requirements, requirements that are more and more imaginable and artificial, born via images and entertainment around us? Have us think the good and the desirable and make us want to be successful through surgery and publicity, via total modification of the seen, to be a creation. Many say why not, as long as you are happy. It is there to be reached out.

Sentences like: I wanted to be pretty and be admired for that, but now I hate myself after plastic surgery went wrong badly. I almost died. It was done by an incompetent doctor, of course. Not because you had ludicrous ideas how you should look like. Such can happen since plastic surgery is not without risks. People despair painfully for the good looks, it is, I suppose, biological, but people want to deny biology, don’t they? So badly it is sickening to look at and sad as hell. It truly is all what one is and when looks is gone you are done for. The most sickening part of this pain is someone thinking one is all wrong on the outside, in wrong body and what is outside of one is that needs repair, a correction. Being beyond repair is a failure as such, wanting to be liked and loved for what you look like, when you do not like the way you look and other people like to comment your looks to make sure you do feel there is something wrong with you and make sure you do not fit in and do not feel comfortable, are you sure it is you who is flawed? Seeking comfort in your body is like getting lost in a forest. Being comfortable in your body means one should aspire to take care of it, not mutilate and vandalize it and definitely not do what others tell you should look like. The definite and absolute end of life today is ugliness, old and worn out looks. People who want youthful feminine looks without trace of old age seek science fiction, being over forty is today too old even with surgery. Who takes interest in you when you do not fit the beauty standards, when you do not look fresh and young? Maybe we should ask, who cares. Oldies are a big varied group of people with skills and knowledge. Why reject them, us? Because of prejudice? Isn’t today for variety and acceptance, not brutality and bullying? I guess not. People still today wonder the meaning of life and old age being something desirable. Importantly, how do we stay fit and youthful for a hundred years or more. When sexy is the meaning of life..thinking what is ugly?

Modernit työtilat ja mielenkiintoinen työympäristö. Täällä haisee kasvava pilvi.

Puuminä/Omakuva/Self-Portrait, 2002 with Mikko Lipiäinen

Modernit työtilat ja mielenkiintoinen työympäristö. Täällä haisee kasvava pilvi.

Sielunhoidonvalmentaja lapiomies
yleislääkäri, videovastaanotto, mysteerikko
kasvokkain markkinoija
siivooja korjaamokohteeseen Peltolammille, eristäjä,
kaivinkoneenkuljettaja mittamies dementiakodin
johtaja työnjohtaja eläinlääkäri hieroja audionomi
legojenrakentelija kurottajankuljettaja, pidetty hevosnainen häränsilmänhalkeamat, lasten aapisesta puuttuu pissata ja paskantaa. Tiedetään, mikä on keskivertokansalainen ja mitä hän haluaa, mitä hänen tulee osata ja tehdä.

Hemmottelua kaipaava lässyn lässyn. Ihminen, joka kieltäytyy ymmärtämästä, sulkee ulkopuolelleen kaiken, mitä ei halua ymmärtää. Ihminen, joka haluaa tiettyjä asioita, jotka ovat kaikkien tiedossa ja joita monet muutkin haluavat. Tietää, mitä haluaa ja saada se, saa sen.

Elämäni eläimet: kisulin näkö, suurikokoinen liero, hajuaisti on niin tarkka, että haistaa lieron paksunkin maakerroksen läpi. Naistentauti, tanssivat What is love-biisin käsilaukkukasan
ympärillä, tahtiin. T-paita-idea: luodinreikiä. Ei kovin uusi.

Art, the case for imagination.

Age of innocence/Sky is dirty, self-portrait using tripod and timer, 2001

To imagine, how do we do it and what happens in visual deserts we inhabit to imagination? It is a buzzword, imagine with lots of positive vibes and commercial potential, holding massive value and the word imagine is used to engage to think for yourself in worst cases when there is visually nothing much of interest, which word imagination itself is a blank to be filled or something full to be found. Artworks that are said to be about nothing, of nothingness, we look at them and are told to imagine or is it such an emotional event to gaze art that rationally thinking is misguided? Do we need instructions on how to see art, what to think? Sometimes we need to be told something is art, curiously. Everybody does it their own way, some are not bothered with such nonsense as conceptual art. What do we imagine if the thing is nothing and its catch is the emptiness, whiteness, the place where it is at and the conceptual nature of the work wouldn’t possibly work anywhere else than within the art world frame and how it is managed in the commercially set frame? What do we imagine inside the white cube, in the city centre built of glass and chrome, slick, visit-and-go environment where we come by things that are called art and are placed art-like? How do we use our imagination today and what does it mean when we are in context of contemporary art ‘to be inspired’ or instructed to use our imagination? Is the art world using its imagination and all the possibilities art can offer fully, because I’m not so sure: too many people are scared of the new, stepping over boundaries, rules and the social media mobs. Especially today it is getting strange what gets accepted and is offence the thing to avoid at any cost? Winnings and earnings lost mean losing one’s job.

What if imagination stops working and mind is just blank in that particular moment? People have various degrees of capabilities what comes to imagination which is in test daily and why should conceptual art make anyone imagine anything? Does advertising, entertainment and built environment do the imagining for us and we have become lazy to imagine for ourselves? Is our environment and art today so ripped of from details that it is hollow and empty and it relies on us to create the content ourselves, the meaning and what should we do about this choreographed world with geometrical shapes that echo style and trends? It is all to make one think, everything is to make one think but it is also to make everything easier. The frame where we move is the structure given and is like a guide or a map to an idea of what to think and how to move. We pay attention to the price of art and houses, that draws the headlines, not what there is to imagine. I try to think the words imagine and imagination in today’s world. We are constantly inspired or entertained and content or nothing of the sort. Anxious and tense is what we are. Enjoyment is the aim, one can have an attempt at thinking, why are we doing what we do, are we made just to think or just to feel powerless and poor? What am I in comparison to this conceptual art? What is this rectangle shape to me, something to stand in?

Imagining is a difficult thing in many ways. It needs practice, but we do it all the time in terms of visualisation and thinking of what everything is and means adding contents in our minds to the seen to comprehend and continue the thought. To measure it what is seen and experienced, imagined or fed, just to describe what one imagines waking up in the morning or walking by an artwork, results are maybe expected, all the same everyday? What do we notice in the end or pay attention to? Try to describe in some way your thoughts on paper and in a way that it is understandable to others as well or maybe it is interesting that art is not immediately easily comprehensible which frustrates many, not adding explanations may do it, probably will. That is great practice and using of one’s brain with hand and a pen or whatever, which conceptual art attempts to do, activate our intellect, see connections if there are any. We do live in the middle of concepts, defining anything is equally as hard as trying to draw anything. Always some detail is left out, forgotten and added, tried again and so on. Try defining an art piece or describing it or a house or the situation the world is in right now. It was a mess 2001.

How rude


How rude
How loud
How unclean
How vulgar
How unfeminine
How impolite
How talking over
How infuriating
How stupid


Those wings are heavy every time the dinner bell rings. Dynamic energy drastic
measures of swans for girls for lasting impressions. The want to go to Paris and
walk. They want to go Paris-thin. When a girl is too thin, when she looks sick, they
need to lose weight to float still. What gives angels their glow?
What I eat in a day as a fashion model.
How I lost weight and got lean.
How to grow your butt without growing your thighs.
My full gym workout. How men react to different levels of makeup. What I eat in a day to lose weight.
Six clothing hacks every girl must know.
Victoria’s Secret angels go grocery shopping. What young hasn’t been dreaming about this?


1998 R

Demonizing: a structure of contempt. It turns out to be the law of the R. She created a life for me in her mind. Her fingers pressed against her cheeks. El Moaur the bottomless, the terrible, a compulsive need to fill to be filled. How about movement? What became of the abandoned one? She has to be punished because she wants it all. What happens if you give all freedom to female sexuality?

Sky is dirty, 2001, BOOm! Age of innocence.

Who is afraid of ass? Nobody nowadays, question only is what size it is and how it was made. Body needs work as it is looked at and certain parts are looked at. Naturalness which we appreciate cannot be anything but a result of hard work. Still nudity is scary even in art, which has led me thinking what does it mean, the fear, scandalising body, seeing something that cannot be looked at because it reveals something of the viewer, especially female body and showing of it, looking at bodies is telling. The fear is to be ridiculed, seen, judged, losing opportunities because of the shame of being seen, what else? Female body in art is on display but is it for the shock value, beauty the value, for artistic value (what makes artistic value?), difference in how body is displayed and what is desired from this show, exploration of human form, what happens in time to human body and how we perceive it and receive it, how we accept it or not, what else? Menstruation the word and sight is too much to take, is nudity any less? We are judged by what we reveal, what we watch, how we want ourselves to be seen, how others expect we must be seen and how not.