She looked like she had been treated like so badly all her life and that made her disturbed and disturbing./ Strange dream.

Killer, pencil on paper, acrylic on canvas, 2022

Slutness is a blame and label that has always been there, waiting to be revealed. She becomes a whore when you keep calling her that since little girl. You can beat the monster alive.

Strange dream

Strange dream
I have been trying to understand the concept living to the fullest (since I began to read women’s magazines.) First, I looked for paper dolls to cut out functioning with feeling of lack. I Had a dream in which I was in a place I had been in a dream before. It was remembering a dream in a dream. I wanted to find a paint that would paint a room in similar blue to simulate a deep ocean. Such paint was hugely expensive and demanded a lot of pigment. I visited a paint store that sold (the only one) that particular paint and wanted to see this valuable stuff, though I could not afford it. The store was also painted in blue. There was nothing else, but the paint mixer in the middle of that blue room, two saleswomen smiling and they asked if I wanted to buy something. I just came to ask for the price of the miraculous substance.

There was also a large garden, that I had only seen flying low over, garden with naturally round trees, lilac flowers. I was in awe. Plane made an oldish propeller sound. Strange visiting places in dreams where you have only visited before in dreams that only exist in dreams.

Swam in Kylie Swim yet? How’s the ocean? (I’m a bitch, I’m a boss and I sound like loss lyrics by Doja Cat)

Killer, pencil on paper, acrylic on canvas, 2022
SWIMMING IN THE SEA OF IMAGES AND WHAT TO MAKE OF THEM. Loss of imagination, loss of authenticity, loss of originality looking for fame and making your own reality. For some the world is too real.

Killer

pencil on paper, acrylic on canvas, 2021

Killer

Man entered flowers, tattoos, piercings. Sat on the stairs staring out smelling of wet grass and rain, leaf on his head, yellow, couldn’t say anything. Brown spots, small birch

Nature

Wild

How

In the dirt. I don’t know. How fragile are we, sting to be stung by a sudden wasp in the hair. When you torched your hair didn’t know what to be stung, sting, hit, anger in fists, in small beings staring outside scared.

What I Wrote 2015, and what has changed?How do Muslim women defend themselves? What does it take to strike back? Do they even want to and are western feminists obligated to help, since Muslim women aren’t children? Many don’t see Islam as a threat at all, but a religion of peace. Feminism is against fascism and relies on person’s own agency. Is the situation such at the moment 2020, that we are safe and they are not?

How to deal with religious fanatics, when they think Islamophobes are the problem? Women taking up arms is a sight not often seen which is why I have wondered the fierce opposition Kurdish women have given to ISIS and have continued to wonder why threat of ISIS has not made it so that all women under attack by ISIS do not confront these brutes with force? Women who would be defending themselves, their family members, whole of society and other women against belief that is brutal, medieval and a nonstop wave of crushing human dignity which stops people and Muslim societies from developing and keep rest of the world in fear. To rule with fear is something that has to be answered with, not by fearing but showing no fear and no respect for use of violence, violence that is obviously very normal and in use daily, a threat which hangs over women and girls all the time. To be submissive may be a virtue but in this case self-defense is acceptable and encouraged to be taken. When there is a culture of self-defense being acceptable and a human right women can feel they do not depend on others to defend them and rescue them. This goes for education and providing for oneself, standing up to oneself and speaking for human rights. It is unacceptable for women and children to have to bear a heavy burden of constant violence, loss, destruction, dictatorship, male dominance and hatred which is based on religion, in God’s name, given word and will. It is intolerable that divinity is used to make such slaughter, misery and death. It is godless. God helps those who help themselves has some truth to it. That is spirituality in action and you must have spirit. It is sad when women are made to feel helpless without means, without any say over the matter of their lives, that they are minimized into slaves that can be stolen, sold, raped and murdered on whims of men who are mentally teenagers and spiritual cavemen.  

So I ask, how do Muslim women defend themselves and I have a right to ask as the flood of refugees becomes more and more overwhelming? How does one defend one’s right to the land that ISIS and other rebels have taken over? Why ISIS is the one with arms and means to bomb everything down, slave and slaughter people as it wishes, make judgments over people’s lives and act like God was on their side only?

Women who do as men do are often ridiculed for having lost their femininity in the process when they grab a weapon. It is a little loss in comparison to what ISIS is taking from Muslim women and children. To ban women from moving anywhere without a chaperone, under rule of their fathers, brother, sons, other male relatives wearing a complete cover is surely a paralyzing factor.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/mmw/2007/12/muslim-women-learning-to-defend-themselves-what-a-joke-2/“(Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath men the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High Exalted, Great.) (An-Nisaa’ 4: 34)” http://www.protectedpearls.com/womeninislam.htm

Portrait 2015, pencil on paper

Who is a feminist? Is a backstabber and a gossiper a feminist, someone who puts other women down deliberately? Definitely not.

People can say of themselves and of others all sorts of things, that is how we form and shape groups, usually it is talk for themselves to look better than someone else or just themselves talking, so it is not unimportant what anyone says. Having a position where you can put someone down just because you can makes your person and feminism look rather strange or Christianity or whatever good doer belief, doctrine, ideology etc. you may have labelled yourself with. Talking about equality and human rights, what is talked about someone in the world of humans matters, that is why gossip is a very much used weapon against anyone. You feel bad and you share it, create an image of someone and of you. Gossiping is done by men and women equally, it hurts both. There aren’t many ways to make it better or benefit the one who is gossiped about as you know boxing something that has been unboxed is very difficult, only the case of making a living out of gossip is taking power back or making art of it. Point of gossiping is power play and it is ruthless, violent, a horrible way of constructing groups and leaving someone out, creating an image of someone. This is what adults do, this is what children do and the gossiper really believes in her or his superiority and that the poor sucker must be humiliated the one who is the target, who is flawed, weird, different in any way. Humiliation is the key, need to humiliate seems to be deep in us. It just makes me wonder how powerless people feel they are to have this kinds of ways of battle.

The case of feminism in terms of grouping and the feminist here is to support the powerless, which women still in many ways are. When you think you are a feminist you do not exploit, humiliate, leave out, put down other women, any woman, and believe me, among women it is a blood sport to humiliate and leave out. It seems to come very naturally… Feminism is not action and talk within your selected group of people which you cultivate in safety of your selected group comfortably. This brings a question of what is feminism in every day, how is it practiced? What does it mean to be human to another person? How vile and vicious can you be can be an interesting test are you that person? What does that make of you, one must ask? An antifeminist.

Juoru

Military portrait

To get inside Veronica, Veronica out of Oxygen. Who would not be complex and conflicted, out of breath? How to be exhausted and not show it. To have a sense of self as a machine and how that machine functions. Try not to be violent, but obedient and eat the penis as it was the best kind of fruit ever hanging in front of you. Look like you have violence as a force of nature, there, unused.

How to be believable as sex worker? Is it so that sex worker is recognisable? A stereotype posing a lure, alluring? Something that cannot be verbalised, a thought which is so demanding and dangerous to be spoken out loud with respect, it would ruin something if done so.
To swallow a load, Black Rose Diamond Veronica is a dominatrix. She works in a dungeon. She is dressed in red PVC. Heels so high and black tide up her thighs. Everything is there when she needs to give a lesson and she must be obeyed for the customer to be humiliated in private.
Angelique Rubensia Urbania has voluptuous figure. Something to squeeze while she bangs you on top. Maybe you can’t breathe under her, so it is a punishment to lie under her body. Her cunt is almost too big and it kind of swallows you up. For a prostitute to swallow usually means something else. Something which is partly humiliating, to swallow a load.

Among the living, stepping out into the unordinary.

4.1 Depression, recession, low, despair, destitution, cynicism, shame of it, intolerance, indifference, violence, problematic complexity of showing emotions and knowing them and consequences of not knowing.
4.2 Medication, psychotherapy, hospitalization, help strengthening feature and the phenomenon of thinking you know.
4.3 She is fucking mad!!
4.4 revolutionizing something – the ways of making money.

Revolution, the very emotional event, the anticipated door to change and banging it, looking at it, adoring it; how involved are we and is it a political, cultural, emotional, intellectual and social necessity as it is there all the time as potential, a potent possibility, force and scare, a known unknown? It is a moment of not wanting to be controlled anymore but taking control, the question is of what. Reminding of growing up and making or trying to make a distance/difference to one’s parents and traditions but still restrained by all of those and making a life always is connected to where one comes from, and yet revolution needs to be led, guided and planned anew. Authority and structure is needed in every creative act in terms of the past, right and wrong must be chosen, what does it mean to be led by a charismatic person and who is that? It can be a sure road to destruction as character can be a mere image, a posing shell. Isn’t it the lure the vanity the idolization of someone bigger than yourself and having pure faith in an image true proof of our sensational infantile need for beauty, the outer beauty, the what we see is what we believe? My question is, is revolution immature always, a utopia which stands for us as a beautiful freeing dance-like claim for liberty which is there to be taken and be celebrated, but is too much at once to swallow, too much to own and digest, understand and know, because the structure which is profound and solid takes time and effort to construct? What happens after the party as Žižek wisely has asked and after the idol begins to look like a normal human being with flaws does revolution fade as well? Yes, when the ground work has not been done properly, revolution is a mere event in time.

Again a question as there is also such a thing as leaderless revolution which happens organically but knowingly and is liberty for us to learn, where no one is taking the credit for making the revolution and being a hero of the resistance. What happens when we are free and we are not led in an old-fashioned sense? Is there being born a new way of leadership? What is needed to know freedom and how much structure people need to feel safe, as it is understood with freedom safety is an uncertain and a luxury? Not wanting to be dictated, told what to say, do, be like and feel is an anthem of the youth, gay movement, in art, as it is something to sell and buy: be yourself, become the best you and this is how, only you should know how to be yourself: follow your urges and desires and live them. Again feminine and masculine come to show and manifest in different ways in making social change, being oneself can be found via daring to go dangerous routes, sexes may have different causes and needs, those who are less scared dare more obviously, different meanings sexes and sexualities have what comes to goals and aspirations, to have sex to procreate or to have fun or both. Those choices have important task in society and for individuals: how we form collectives and let our groups to be formed, who are invited and who are out and why in and out exist. Those are very much questions of what we are attracted to and what is allowed. To live like it is the end of the world and the paradise is now is one form of freeing oneself, finding total excitement and joy within with others. It has happened in the sixties, along with sexual revolution, hippie movement and in the seventies with gay liberation movement which consequently also had disastrous results in AIDS epidemic breaking out in the eighties in New York and San Francisco. This wild and unrestrained behaviour has been culturally significant which probably has its roots in art and music, namely rock, sex and drugs and the very oppressed and hated position of the sexual minorities. Human right of gay men was to fuck as much as possible and this they did. Thinking next is what do men and women do differently in situations of demanding rights and do women endure ill-treatment longer because they have little alternatives to choose from? Many found sexual liberation in having multiple partners whenever and talking about sex which had not happened in human history before at least not in this scale. Sexual liberation is also a class issue: who have time and chance to liberate themselves sexually? Sex is still the most flammable issue socially, the true taboo subject all over the world. Whose agenda is the most powerful, who are listened to and who are the loudest, who oppress the most, who are the oppressed and why? What is power there is the scare that free sexual expression brings, scare is decay and corruption of the youth, which scare is not unfounded, still the process of freeing is necessary in finding something worth while to live by and think about.

It is seen as feminine to feel, to show and talk about emotions, to cry, to laugh, be insecure, admit sensing, being physically weaker, lose reason and being irrational is somehow feminine and show compassion is expected of women. Crying is a powerful outburst with tears and facial expressions. It is probably the most controlled emotional mental physical act. Please don’t cry, I would have to react to your tears. Does revolution (political) bring out the best in us, the true us (whatever the best might be)? One has to define the best qualities of humans, but is civilized, cultivated and the human self the best in us? That can be the most robotic part of us. To define ourselves comparing each other is what we do and find groups to belong to which can result to building shelters of similar minds and bodies, we are tribal whatever ism we stand for. Behaviour can be seen irrational, behaviour of those who oppose us is lunacy as opposing is dangerous, a mental disorder at worst (something that happened to the Suffragettes and feminists afterwards over and over again). To declare mental love is to share emotions as we should and to love is demand human rights for all, cost can be high as with love it often is. To some fucking a lot is the purest form of making love. Question is why we like to abstain and refrain our emotions into illness, into nothing instead of dealing with them? Because there is death lurking in going to extremes. Scared of being exposed is one part of our existence. To not being scared of judgment and abandonment is part of liberation. Expressing to the fullest is an illness-like happening and also the healthiest one, feelings are stupid but still we trust them, we go with the flow of them. We like having an order of emotions, taking them for granted. Being stuck up is more a standard and emotional is inferior a phenomenon which must be ruled by reason and us be guided because we are monitored for our behaviour and everything unordinary is to be suspected especially if you are a woman and a feminine man is not a man in macho world.

An order which many of us seem to live by is not to, a no, a ban, a prohibition of, especially what comes to others what they can be and do. Something in us that must be closed off from sight and be ruled. What do we let out and what we do not, because we are not allowed, because it is not proper and we’ll be damned, we do not dare to break the civil backbone of modern humanism, because we must behave ourselves, contain ourselves in the eyes of others to be seen as accepted and prosper? It is an interesting topic, because our refusal to be ourselves and the desire to find ourselves are in conflict, which could be called a plug there is, that is not wished to be pulled off, there is a pivot behind the door, a stepping stone, something nonverbal we must find in therapy and via personal fall-down, an unspoken inner banner which is there and one must find it, but how far is it there and can you see it. Inner banner, a flag of your own, what is it like? It is often a heard dichotomy, the confrontation between the political and personal and how do they communicate and effect. It is to say personal is political, a common phrase to use, it is also true. My choices in everything make politics not only by voting and in my choices of educating myself, but in what I consume, how I choose to live, eat, drink, travel, see, listen, wear, talk about, watch and how I express myself in anything and where. Everything comes up from making political decisions and choosing of what is safe, good, correct, profitable, good for economy, good for our nation, what is good for us to do in order to live in an organized society and profit from it and how we look. But it is common to think politics does not concern, touch, interest or they, who do politics, are not interested in people as they should, concerned or touched by lives of ordinary citizens. Emotional landscapes we inhabit, which we make, we have and how we notice them, invaded emotional spaces online and outside, which emotions are there for us to sense, why are they there for us, why do we have feelings at all if we are unable to use them, recognize them or are they to use us? Do we inhabit or know emotions at all? Emotions are as if they were rare

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precious things we cannot afford anymore other than instant ecstatic thrills and chills called experiencing excitedly. It is good to say I am excited.  We go looking for company to avoid boredom and loneliness, not to face ourselves, not to face the everyday of someone nor mine but to enjoy and be entertained, in other words we are drugged by entertainment.

How about those sudden outbursts like revolutions, riots and revolts? Do they entertain,excite, release emotions, aggression, rage, go in circles?

Speed of change, speed of time, there is time capsule in change, in every moment. Waiting it to happen, saying change is what we want, but what does it mean? Phrasing what it is one wants to change or do we have capabilities to do what needs to be done and changed? Framing to tell we have no other alternative but change. It is settling, something is going to happen soon and alarming at the same time, exciting, maybe an effort and time to find crystalized truth, meaning and explanation of what happens, what might happen and why. Timing, what happens with timing, in time, in waiting, in lining up, in hurry, in speed which media and civilization bring in to our lives. Speed of pictures, speed of events, speed of a runner, speed of a shutter. Speeding, measuring, comparing, working, staying put and there it is, change. It is all the time.

4.2 Medication, psychotherapy, hospitalization, help strengthening feature and the phenomenon of thinking you know.

How does it happen, change? According to some laws of life? Yes. Mentally, physically and socially could the reasons leading to depression, getting ill and having economical downfall be similar, they are inevitable for us to grow as humans and communities. Societies have psyches, bodies, illnesses, life and death, cycles. Situations and capabilities of making the dealing of money and wealth, social and economic sectors function poorly, one-sided staring of financial well­being of one’s own and what one gets make us blinded. Failing to fulfil political promises make voters anxious and feeling low. We look at the pictures of the wealthy, how they live and want the same at any cost. Telling repeatedly good times are not ahead of us unless we make these cuts, but in the same page economic growth is a demand and cry. Depression is a situation with lack of trust on anything anymore. To feel depressed is very understandable in this picture: we can’t all be enormously wealthy and happiness is what we seek via wealth and physical appearance. Complete lack of hope for things to change for better as we measure success with what one has, what one possesses, how one looks. Depressed society begins to eat itself instead of flourishing, because it is scared and paralyzed for not growing exponentially all the time. How could amount of depression in society be measured and through measuring healed? How we change the whirlwind of illusions that drive us mad? It is to be measured how we fall sick and to be acknowledged is what we desire the most. In order to heal a hopeless situation we do desperate things, but every particle and unit must work for the same cause, the cause is what at the moment? How depression moves socially can be evaluated, as can birth mechanisms of a downfall be predicted. Other than speculating the patterns that occur and listening to people’s stories we like to assume most. Other than listening to those who know we like to see everything in monetary value and loss. There are pretty clear ways how depression happens, what it does, what it is like. Reasons to fall, reasons of getting ill. There is something fundamentally wrong that has happened, a deep cut where a soul has fallen. Wrong happens when all are not listened to, taken into consideration, taken care of,

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talked to, touched, acknowledged, needed, aren’t given what they need: what do we need can be understood via destruction and loss. People need to be needed, our fundamental reason for lot of despair, to have meaning in life for many come via others, if life feels meaningless and if it looks like there aren’t means to change much in circumstances, there is a dead-end feeling, bottomless sentiments, darkness. Uselessness and hate make depression. In order something to fall and fail, it is like we are expecting it to happen. There is lack of kindness and compassion there. Mistake is to think people are like machines, miscalculation is to look for financial winnings only which refer to us as intellect and proper. There is an inability to slow down, unwillingness to settle for less. For things to fail there is wisdom lacking in seeing how parts function together, how we function together, how we should function and what is sharing. Our systems in which we live are working for wrong reasons altogether if economic growth is why we work, live for and why anything is done in the first place and we are loved for how we look like and what we have. Reasons for mental disorder as depression vary, reasons that lead us feeling low, make us feel inadequate, not enough, not loved, unfit and so forth. Emotional hygiene supports possibility of depression to emerge. In this empirical, personal and emotional perspective depression is very much a social disease, since we are social beings, needy of being loved. Animals get depressed for same reasons, for neglet and having lost the contact to their purpose and natural environment. They also need something else than to eat and stay physically alive. Emotional life of animals is easily discarded as unimportant, but they do feel pain. Some people are more sensitive than others, and some get ill easier, like those who do not handle the load they given and are supposed to carry. Some of us get depressed, because they are melancholic by nature. We like to emphasize individuality, but the most difficult task is looking, we do not see the individual, a person but expect what one are supposed to be like. We cherish mass unity and movement in one direction often on surface level, in the face of complexity of life it feels insane and unjust. Is that why we like to simplify ourselves? To fit in is what one should be doing, not understanding the massiveness of this multitude we are, not understanding ourselves.

Medical evaluation process of who is ill and who is not has evolved in twenty years. For example, homosexuality is no longer an illness in Finland. There is no illness nor cure for that matter to cure sexuality of someone. But it takes a lot of effort to make it sink into public consciousness that gay/transgender or any other gender is not a choice one makes or a state of mind someone falls into. To fight prejudices, we need legislation and work done for minds to change. Prejudices stick hard, almost unbelievably tough, as an artist I know. To know personally gay people, mentally ill, poor, rich, people of different ethnic backgrounds, different classes, people who think differently, look different, act different etc. is essential in making world more tolerant, therefore ghettos, bubbles, isolation, divisions keep prejudices alive. For not people to marginalize in an unsatisfactory way left in loneliness, they have to do something about prejudices themselves. It is scary to meet

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people who hate you because you are gay, as it is scary if they hate you for being a woman and an artist. How would that kind of meeting happen and what would happen? A hate crime or a public hugging? Prejudices function strangely in an imagined world of abstractions, simplistically focusing on weaknesses. Working on comparison between those who think are strong to evaluate those who seem weak. Weakness is intolerable still, weaknesses are easy to spot and strengths are there to be grasped if you are willing to join certain group. Groups of those who think are mighty and strengthen their existence as community. Comparison and division, separation, isolation is familiar behavioral pattern to make hierarchy. It is a lonely spot to think, be and act differently, but what can you do but be fearless. What kind of option it is to go with the mass?

Who can be cured and who not, what it is to be cured and be normal, what the norms are, how to know what actually is the wrong there to begin with? Are there hopeless cases? How to face someone who is mentally ill? Should I be scared? Mental illnesses are problematic in many ways, difficult to treat, to diagnose, difficult to live with. How can we tell when society is mentally ill? We like to call each other crazy quite often without it being hugely stigmatizing, but to talk about someone in that manner behind someone’s back ”there is this crazy person” makes it a bit different. Then it becomes stigma. Need to give stigma to someone has not disappeared. It is everyday fascism. Someone is crazy, the one is dangerous, a threat and must be avoided, locked up, isolated, spat at or felt sorry for. It is true mental illnesses increase violent behavior especially against the ill her/himself, suicidal tendencies, self-­ loath and hateful thoughts get the best of. It is a painful experience to be depressed. Stress and constant facing of ill in life make possibility of mental illness bursting higher than for those who live in secure environment with loving people around or people who have been loved much face mental illness against all odds. How random it all is… Levels of stress in life and how one tolerates stress and randomness, dealing with setbacks indicates clearly how one is doing mentally. Where does the border of ill and being healthy go? Merely being an artist is sick for some. If there is a group of bullies and one person who is bullied, who is the sick one? What kind of behavior is seen as sick and what not can also be culturally bound. Illness breaks the atmosphere of normal every day. We see ill so much it is maybe normal and underestimated like a minor injury or cut in hand. Atmosphere of there is nothing wrong is a bit strange, of something exact, sterile and cleaned out of sight and hidden.

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Can there be such a state on social level as balance or is there always a factor of wrongness, a crack? Better yet must there be some kind of imbalance and sense of danger for us to find happiness? Which danger and wrong we need to reach out to feel alive. Secure steady life is an ideal for many, but there are contradictions that fail me, such as unhappiness and amount of depression. We want to avoid being scared and situations of not knowing what will happen next. To go further, to reach something unknown is to test one’s limits, what can one do, where do one’s limits go. Wouldn’t we all like to know. Unknown can be found pretty close, you don’t have to travel to space to find the unknown and scary. There is still much to study within humans and animals since we do not know all, we are not complete. We just like to assume we do know and are perfect. Human psyche and emotional side is much an unknown and avoided topic in general. One reason why we are scared of the tricky mind of ours is we find something out of the normal. To be mentally ill gives opportunity to test our limits what can a person tolerate and what it is to survive situation of no control. This is what bullies do, test us. Dangers like whether one comes back from psychosis, whether one sees light of day feeling good and light in front instead of pain and hell. How long will it take for one to mentally break is a sadistic game. Meeting someone behaving disoriented and irrationally or beginning to behave like that yourself how do you react? It is one thing we are afraid; the irrational and what mind can do to us. To say we do not understand it, the unknown subconscious, the irrational, is a good place to start. Reason why artists are seen as a bit scary, out of the ordinary and abnormal is we test the limits of ours. What to talk with someone like that who possibly tests you? Why not talk with someone like that and test him or her instead. There is the concept of normal again to face, idea of me structured and what me should be, normal needs a clarification since it is one term very much used and controlling what we do and how we do, how we react and what we should tolerate. I have an idea of normal, but it is not what I should be. It is outside the norm, normality and I conflict with it constantly. Why should there be normal? Am I irrational, the idea of me? There are things that are normal for me to do daily: brushing my teeth twice a day, going to bed and sleep the night, dream. Normal people drive their cars.

Setting the normal, deciding what is strangeness, that is difficult to face and understand, accept, have a qwerty battle in our everyday, between us, there is constant conflict which makes us interesting. We go through thinking what we do is normal and acceptable and try to find ways to preferably stay in that frame of normal and acceptable and feel shame if we don’t. In this picture art is very much welcomed as mixing the pack and moving barriers of thinking patterns and ways of seeing. Therefore, artists are seen as dangerous hazardous and suspicious individuals. At best they like to think for themselves and do as they please, at least some of them, since art scene is a very much regulated and appropriated by rules of proper as it is a business and market where appearances matter as does wealth. Insanity is much of a taboo, but fully with us as we daily face it, like it or not, acknowledge it or not, see it or not. We define insanity outside of ourselves, what is mad for us, what is a crazy

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thing to do equals to something you would not do and you disapprove. Insanity entails danger in any social scene, art is no exception. Danger of losing face, one’s reputation. As it seems prejudices go stronger the smaller and isolated the group is. Contemporary art scene has isolated itself very effectively. To say artists are like that, has been common enough for me to hear in the arts and outside of it. One problematic issue being the ideas of inside and outside of it. What are they like exactly? There is a stereotype of an artist which creates partly the whole scene of arts. The assumption of a person who makes art, assumption of the art scene that it is arrogant and distant, fine, too fine to understand and get involved with. To make art is still thought to be almost an occult and due to divine inspiration, you can pull out from craziness but don’t be crazy. It is bad for business. Stories of golden ages in art stay alive and are in focus. Strict divisions of good and bad, low and high, which are dictated by taste, knowledge of the arts, expertise and social status given with confidence regulate the arts. How does that got to do with illness of mental kind is probably about the divine inspiration? All this we can observe in the light of classes and social status, habitus, meaning one who is seen adequate to create art and leading to how that person creating art is treated. What motivates a person to create, what does s/he create, how are creations of hers/his put-on display and will they be put on display and seen. What is it to put on display and to be on display? What are we displaying? Average Joe is one term used to describe the normal on social level. It gives hint that Average Joe is not the most open-minded person there is and what about art, open-mindedness must obviously be dug out as it is lost. Normality is horror for those who are repulsed by banality. In the frame of social changes arts have been strongly involved and horror is there in important role, irrationality breaking the codes of proper. It is an art to make society and minds change when they rather stayed the same liking complacency and safety. Whether on the side of those who have power to establish and strengthen power of one’s own. Is it art, not to want change, it is bizarrely common in the art scene not wanting change, talking about progress is again on the surface of things without structures changing at all because it is lucrative. Arts reflect perfectly the whole of society. Then there are those who need to be heard for the sake of everybody, those in the marginal, for liberation’s sake. They do what they can to disturb the power elite: protesting, singing, satireing, provoking, to test the limits of society and power people by scandalous art, provoking the tender spots, making nonsense and unmeasureable craziness, the unexpected shock is very much needed to make change.

Personal ideas deemed appropriate or not. How an individual can be original and powerful in the same time? What is personality and how restricted it is? Am I assumed to be of certain kind? Isn’t it so we, even if not religious, are bound to religious traditions and doctrines, like self-evidently falling into them, with them, colliding and struggling. There is beauty, wisdom, truth, guidance, hope, but also very slow tendency to seek change within religions. We know them since they are taught to us and lived by throughout the year. There is no escape. Religion is here and there like a living thing.

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Our Finnish society for instance lies on Christian values, festivities, terminology, history and names even though we are a secular state. Schooling system is built on Lutheran/Protestant schooling system which system made by church was in use before in history, meaning preachers were the educators of people up to the beginning of 1900’s. Even though church schools were separated from state schools at the end of 1800’s influence of church is immense. To teach religion at school still meant in 1980’s and 90’s serious deep studying of Christianity. This is slowly changing, very slowly or not at all? The compulsory part of studying faith is odd but it is to know our culture. How many of those schooled really have had faith in their hearts since to have faith and say it out loud has been seen publicly as weakness. Here it is a private matter but all over, weird. Believer is stereotyped often as Holy Roller and a zealot trying to convert those who have doubt, different opinions and society wanted to be stuck obeying religious leaders is what it seems to be oddly enough. There are strong bias what comes to believing in God or not and to which God to believe in, not that there are many options offered. Essential questions in life for everyone. Do I believe that there is someone or something guiding us, making us, judging and watching? Being part of Lutheran faith by birth, schooling and living in a Lutheran/Protestant/secular country is somewhat a norm and everyday unquestionable practice here, a bedrock. Loud objections aren’t that common, but you can choose to believe or not and still it is compulsory to live by it. Religion raises its head when LGBTQ+ rights or are women fit to be priests (still) are talked about and church personnel and politicians with true belief have objections. Right to abortion is still in debate. Killing of fetuses cannot be tolerated and men need to have a say how women deal with their bodies. Religion is a serious business, how about war? Kids understand what is being said and they listen obediently as studying God’s word begins quite early. For children God is mysteriously intriguing, frightening and puzzling, all the same we are brainwashed into believing at school. We have a silent agreement and illusion of freedom in seemingly secular state which is not that free and tolerant. Yet comes the question what can I as a person do to be free? Hypocrisy is a safety net, a mask to look better than you actually are. It is denial of facts, to do otherwise than you tell you do. What should be done, would be good to do and you are told to do and what really happens: are you part of the world and how much what you say weighs. It is more again a normality than obscurity to act hypocritically. We live staged lives. It is telling there is much fear to let you be yourself, to admit your true opinions, your true face, to disagree. Fear of loss is great.

4.3 She is fucking mad!!

I wanted to disturb, I wanted to be annoying. I was hoping someone would understand why. Yes, I had a little hope for being understood, just a little, but the thing that I think about hoping, the most important thing

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is what you do yourself, how do you understand what you are doing. And why you do what you do. Why do I think by disturbing I could make my statement or make something positive happen?

I whistled through a shopping mall. Invented my whistling tunes while I walked. Everybody watched surprised, some annoyed. I would have glanced someone whistling loudly in the shop. I think I was loud, yeah. I also whistled biking home from the city. That was hard work. I had to stop to take a breath.

Censorship is a way to do the world and stomp it to stay the same. It is a common practice of everyday on personal and public level. We do it to ourselves and to others by looks, talk of all kinds of subtle and not so subtle ways of letting know what is good to do. It is a mind control, behavior control, strategy control and multilevel control of society. Reasons for control often are not letting upset and hate show, fear, any kind of sensation, sexuality, personality, difference show in order to maintain discipline, order, conformity, hegemony, to maintain power or just to oppress to maintain power position. It is a forceful tool to be able to censor and make it a mental behavioral state and automation as well. People who censor themselves in fear are easy to control. Forces of those who wish things to stay the same. And what things are those and who are the forces who have such a wish? State of eternal growth, state of holy image, state of pedestals. To push the envelope is to say of searching for new expression. Expression defined by the one who is expressing, artist who lives expresses, everyone has expression of their own. Who sells the expressed, what is new in this picture of making money, of expressing to be a product? Nothing. Do artists express to make money? And what is valid expression, and what is art. When does expression become art? It is expecting the unknown to be found, expecting originality to be found, expecting the unknown to exist and we be prepared for it. It is a state of trust to express. Then make it a vendible product in a certain frame.

Music world is an interesting scene when talking about censoring, finding originality and freedom of expression. Pop artists pushing some envelope of theirs and possible the establishment’s as far as the record companies allow them to push. To push the envelope against those who actually have power can for a recording artist be suicidal end of a career kind of scenario. Someone has put something in the way to be pushed and one has to push hard to be seen and make change. Usually it is artists themselves who have boundaries to be changed. That is not a surprise in a world of wanting

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to make it. Controversies, scandals, provocations are marketable items nowadays like ever. Controversy is to rub your ass against male crotch and stick your tongue out, show nipple, have huge body parts, revaling clothing. Huge is only the amount of press. To use sex appeal in making money is not news, but it continuously is. It as such is not incredibly pushing the envelope what comes to originality. To actually stop obeying pop cultural idiosyncrasies would be. It is interesting to analyze cultural scenes since there are people who seriously have power over what we see and use as culture and as art. The power of expertise is a given status. It is a world of relations, golden handshakes, hearsay and again talk over what is proper and good at the same time, but it is a business. The amount of money is huge which circulates in movies, music and in any art,  which platforms function as product manufacturing businesses. What kind of revolution would be desired here? These industries talk about being revolutionary, progressive, artists being revolutionaries, as well art forming itself is a revolutionary act.

4.4.revolutionizing something – the ways of making money.
At war. Revolution is lucrative business. in art. very much so.
Danger of it, danger in living, danger of getting killed, tortured, humiliated, abandoned or injured, of I don’t know what some people like to defy it, death, what else, loneliness. Can we defy life? The uncomfortable effort of pushing against all odds, all minds, that are against difference and progress, the unbearable situation of finding strength when there is none left.

It is to change methods of interaction, patterns of thinking and gaining wealth and therefore revolution to actually making it would mean a complete altering of way of thinking. (Skeptical thought cannot be avoided.) To change how we gain, what we want to gain, if we gain and what there is to gain. Are we doing things to have it all? Despair is one bottom of the end and it is happening right now. Governments are desperate, so are people. Desperate people do anything they can to survive. State of ready to be insane, do hurtful irrational acts, ease the pain to hurt someone else, to get whatever there is to get is the tone of today. To make a change to one’s situation by learning to be wiser and more selfless is the wisdom everyone should personally follow. Revolution is not a sane situation. It is chaos and disorder, why would we need that. We, citizens of Earth obviously are not in enough desperate situation, destruction continues. I claim that what is interesting and temptingly revolutionizing anything is still the happening, despite my skepticism, event itself, unity and effort to maintain the thrill of complete turnover and it is making its way. Radicalism and outlaw qualities appeal but so does better future. What is forbidden allures, to be

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against all what is set, letting aggression rule is an easy way. Revolution is an expression and learning how to be wise with rage one has. Using rage as a creative force is a new beginning, to create new is to destroy something.

Power within: Origin of need for power and search for recognition. What is political radicalism today?

3.1 die Macht
3.3 What makes revolution needed
3.3 Not to trust help of others but one’s own is empowerment.
3.4 Bad example: what makes a totalitarian nation to exist. Bullying tactics tangled and exposed.

What makes us powerful and makes us think we are powerful? Is it always in comparison to someone? Who thinks is powerful all mighty, better than and why: what is the definition and act of power? We take and give power which is basic strategy of being a living person making schemes. We play games of granting and taking, using and possessing power, processing power, how are we in terms of power someone has. Is it over us? It is empowering to create and consider one’s makings worthy personal creations, that you can is one thing needed to feel powerful. Do we need other people to witness and congratulate for it? We eat to get energy and feel powerful, listen to music to be inspired by and belong, live empowerment of different elements like sounds, electricity and sunbeams and we become powerful because we observe, think, make, learn, interact and move. Power is in a moment, physical and mental, knowing and playing, a way to rule a moment, take over, master, share and compare. How is power in time and how are power and time individually used is what one allows oneself, which can be taken away from you and denied from you. It is in taking liberties and how afraid are we in doing so, characterizing ourselves to be individual, labelling to stand for something, manners of talking give power, looking, choosing how to look, conflicting or choosing not to, liking and not, pausing, speeding, feeling power of self, enjoyment of doing or choosing not to.

Power has to be taken as it is also granted within society by society, power appropriated and stated: what we can do with our power. In this way thinking everything is power and we are power animals. When we do not have power it feels like death. The sun and nature are our energy sources, the all-powerful God and Goddess. Power is something to fight for and protect as it can be lost, the power position and source of light and warmth, leadership and recognition, comfort and safety. It has to be known, gained and earned. There is either too little or too much of it which makes it problematic, a question of how much and what to do with it, what do others do with their power, what do they do to me. I am attempting to explain the self­-evident and yet it is one of the most difficult issue for us, the most profound and complex issue there is. Light, radiation, push, movement, figures, numbers, scales, tubes, papers, news, text, an image, flame, a bomb. Is it about particles working together, one star, one individual and how he got made, and about millions and millions of other particles and individuals, selfs, selfless, egos, maniacs, reasoning, greed, jealousy, envy, love, hate, chemistry, physics, making of chain reactions. Everyone has a personal relationship to and with power, one has to be aware of it, yearn for it and know what to do with it. Child has power over his/her parents and power of the parents remain with us the rest of our lives. The emotional bond between is the very basic power relationship in our lives: you came out of me, I made you, you are therefore mine or why didn’t you protect me, in your power you hurt me because you could, I trusted you. I have a say over you but how long?

But as it goes your children are not yours. To own something or think owning someone is a destructive power feeling, feeling of absolute overcoming and knowing what is right and wrong. Possessions are extensions to our ego and we like to expand, clear the way. When people have in their hands solid all-conquering power it is a matter of evaluation, judgment and freedom of choosing what doings can be left not to do and what desires tell one wants to do desperately something. In this scenario we are not so compassionate rational beings in control of ourselves knowing what is best and our desires are very selfish. Ultimate power does something to one’s character, to compassion for those who do not have one’s position, too much empathy is not good for disciplinary reasons and making results, reaching goals, keeping one’s position.

3.1 die Macht

Signe Larssen writes in the blog Critical Legal Thinking http://criticallegalthinking.com Notes on the thought of Walter Benjamin: Critique of Violence is about the difficulty of translating the word Gewalt (so difficulty of understanding violence the concept the same) ”which in German carries the multiple meanings of (public) force, (legitimate) power, domination, authority and violence – with the word in English violence carries few of these senses (particularly, institutional relations of power, force and domination or even non­physical or symbolic violence).” [1.] To translate a text into another tongue and culture of thought is a violent act itself is my thought but so is also not trying: is it possible to understand the meanings in other language and the culture as something will self-evidently be left out or misunderstood, which is the violent part? Am I overreacting here (but on the other hand feelings are there and here very sensitive) and saying violent act, is so close, that it is almost impossible to avoid hurt, when according to Jainism just walking over ants is unforgivable that one must look down constantly and walk carefully wiping one’s way, as there may be our ancestors in new form all over. Just like in everything, a step must be taken towards the unknown to open new paths risking offending and comprehend which is always a place of contemplating, place of high risk and possibilities to go wrong. Mistakes will be made against sensibilities, grammar, ways of thinking, work put in to understanding and respecting but hurt is unavoidable and hurt is what violence is all about. Tricky and triggering as it is to speak, our language and use of it is for many reasons and finding power is one of those reason. Where does it lie and how; to be an expert and know nuances is one good way to power: what kind of gestures people appreciate.

Interpretation of violence, to say it is a concept, makes us see the violence done where there should not be aggression but still is or what is understood as an everyday routine and not a wrongdoing, can be viewed from the perspective of the one who is acted upon but cannot act against, is not allowed to and should take all hits because of the underdog position. To be able to verbalise nonverbal action, a hit, is to fight against violence and create defence. An attack, an act, a play and game where there are interests which are being protected by violence, aggression, seen as a core part of life, which is from where I study the subject violence, as I think it is impossible for us to live separate from and not be affected by it, difficult to be safe from and find justice. We watch violence, brutal murdering for enjoyment, as viewers and players to which theater we do not take part in real-life and are not responsible and somehow we are at least those who can watch, judge the content and by thinking what does watching do, the killing seen do to our minds and morals, how are we affected by it. How we decide how and when we are violent, when we think it is time to be aggressive, against whom, forms of violence there are so many. A judgment call is made all the time and we grow into culture that is brutal against animals and humans all over and somewhere else far away even more than here.

Basic part of us that cannot be completely eliminated away with, with which we struggle a great deal, often not understanding the consequences or ourselves why we are the way we are, and hurt caused or not caring. It is very individual and oftentimes minimized experience. Shouting angrily is too much for many to take, it takes a certain kind of attitude not allow it to happen as such and answer back. The physical violence is the one we tend to register and feel empathy for the victim. It lingers in how we say what happened. What we say and to whom we speak aggressively and about aggression. Speaking past someone is microaggression, ignoring, rude.

To multiply and make progress we invade, as cells, bodies, societies, cultures, corporations and as Peoples. It is the very essence of being alive, wanting more, expanding, producing life and staying alive, securing existence, to know and understand power of oneself is to make it visible, a showcase. Yet it is hard to accept the violent nature of life and nature, of any act that even hints to hurting physically and mentally is disturbing to normal people. To translate is to change something unique into a totally different form trying to preserve the way of thinking and saying and make it understandable in a new place and culture. Culturally bound ideas how something is done and thought in real every day life is how something was thought in a particular place and time before. Learning to think and do otherwise is translating oneself, peeling layers within. To change language of time before is learning a different tongue. It is for example studying religious texts which are full of violence and bigotry but in practice today as word of God. Painfully task of understanding takes a lot of work and effort. Clearly not done by many religious groups as religion is the one primal reason to attack, abuse and oppress. To learn and evolve we have to go through self-torture and achy experiences, demand discipline and have wisdom of the heart.

3.3 What makes revolution needed

Authority and leadership are basic functions and tasks in society to occupy and have for society to work properly. It is part of someone’s personality to lead, show the way. One has to be aggressive to succeed in the task of leading and making decisions. We like to practice freedom of choice under built beliefs of what is right and true, we need something solid as religion to guide. Something which is believed to be right and must have also appeared to be so for many. Something that is right (true, real) does something good for most of us, benefitting, makes feel good, proud, hopeful and satisfied. It has got to do with learned common sense, structures of society that keep our balance and order, righteousness, justice, what is proper to do and what is not. The concrete idea of right is the believed right, true to that particular reality, what is seen fit and in interests of profiting the community. Right and good to have, what is known to be right in general, good to do and is that the good for one or many, we must choose. [3.]

Who makes reality of ours in the end to be reality of mine and how do realities of people meet? Have I learned to see reality through my culture’s eyes or my subjective experience and understanding, which part of my culture is me? My roots and society empower me. There is like and dislike and warmth and cold, all is not well always. There are cracks, unhappiness, malfunction. Culture works as manipulator which is easy to dislike and I am very much a product of my culture. Where one is born works as a powerful emotional and intellectual molder of mind. One is born into the hands of the powerful who promise to take care of you but society’s part is large in this regard. First reality issues we face are bodily needs that need to be fulfilled. To grow is to move away from situation where body rules the ways we need and act. Control of mind over body to realize ideas is a big step which now is and has been helped by machines and inventions to keep us satisfied and our basic needs filled and to create new needs. For us to be more conscious and be able to educate ourselves, have spare time to actually know ourselves instead of thinking how to manage daily.

What is expected of civil servants such as politicians? Do people who have power over economics have moral responsibility for how they handle money flow, stock exchange, banking, buying and selling and how they influence on lives of people all over the globe?

Matter of evolving as humans concerns educating children which nowadays is much softer way than before. Results are a much-discussed topic. What can be asked of a child, how far can education go in demanding and disciplining? It feels bad and uncomfortable to demand a cute innocent child to do anything. What violence, use of power and domination mean and how to find balance of not hurting. Philosophy of unhurt is to think and know what is good for the child, what is their best interest, demanded of them to do for themselves and think about the results of one’s actions without causing pain and ill. It is one of the core issues of mankind, the relationship between adult and child, adults’ relationship to childhoods of their own, assuming what life should be, what one should become and how to reach the ideal. [2.] For some bombing is freedom and just an act of just rebellion. In a culture where aggression, emotions and violence are openly showed and every day happenings, minor mishaps and injuries do not count. Difference is how things are measured, faced, experienced, dealt with, what is life worth and who is to decide, where violence leads, what can be achieved with it. Is power essentially about knowing, invading, taking and receiving or is it just living? Power is about not one but about everyone in the area of an impact. Power is an effect, influence. It requires our limbs to grab and desire to want to grab. What comes to thinking aggression often comes to play without analytical calculation what happens after. Truth has power but is truth overcoming or voice of

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reason? It is inevitable within human and animal relations to look for order and through desired constructions and rules make structures to live by and evolve. Some kind of dictating of order is necessary, manners of interacting need to have commonly accepted rules and ways of happening to be successful. Order and usage of power is a livelihood necessity which is either gained or lost based on history, needs, situations, abilities, rivalries, politic making and favoring. Power is in details of doing. It is often forgotten notion that everybody has power to move to act, to speak, to live. Energy is in us and is therefore us. Every act and word are individual power used and passed forward to make an impact, make part of one’s own count, play the part, be part, be active participant even though one may feel passive and not having a voice to be heard. What must one do? One has to believe that power is there in everything one does and we like to use it to benefit ourselves and people close to us. Which characteristics of ours make us leaders, persecutors, rulers, dictators, traitors, tyrants, obedient, unlawful, unfaithful. How we decide for ourselves and for others is a scheme of multiple issues and things to consider that play their roles in anyone being powerful or not and to which extent. Whose power is the most trustworthy?

One part is to succeed in making decisions, to know what to do and executing ideas, dealing with the results and to move forward. To know where to go and what is to be done. Nature of power can be to halt an individual from knowing. It can be punishment of having done something wrong, how we are controlled to do as we are desired by whom ever. Dynamics of human power is bound to what is thought to be intellectual and intelligent, right and wrong, calculating options and what-ifs. It is also evident that self-­ confidence, ability to solve problems, quick decision-making and convincing ways of persuasion and presentation of oneself and ideas of what should be done have an important role in power play. To look powerful is to have a certain kind of posture, habitus and strong view to organizing things in life.

3.3 Not to trust help of others but one’s own is empowerment.

To become is a learning and living experience. In order to be powerful, one has to empower oneself with knowledge. Power has become to mean something of considerable size, knowledge of to which direction to bow and show loyalty, whether to lie or speak the truth. Power associates with arms, hands and men having power by physical force, making war, taking life. Fear is an ultimate power tool. Those who have finance have been and still are the most powerful people whose grace is wanted. Power is an

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extension but still one whole block that either raises respect and fright or both. To be powerful on one’s own is to know what one is capable of, to be able to live without constant assistance, to be master of one’s own, without someone telling what to do and be one has to know oneself. Possibilities to make one’s own life requires survival skills not only a knife and knowledge of what can be eaten, but ideas. To be able to trust one’s own views, abilities and thoughts is something people should learn to do more. Few of us can live battling against every odd, authority and jurisdiction though it happens constantly and requires a lot of energy. Such people who question authority and have doubt are very much-needed for democracy to work best. It is also one characteristics of democracy that it can be criticized and battled without losing life and be terminated.

One way of showing power is to create architecture which states where power lies. Power wants to manifest and impress, show off and be bigger than. It is to reach the skies with high towers, go fast with vehicles. It is an awkward moment when there are hierarchical credits to consider in a room, to talk to someone one has to be introduced, with whom can I shake hands with, when not to say anything but listen respectfully, where to stand, what are the right words to say, who will understand my humor and who will find it distasteful and what to wear to make a right impression. Impressions are power. Power is in details as much as it is with large constructions, appearance, bureaucracy and protocol. It is clever and it can be horribly stupid. Knowing how a staged performance works is to know and accept staged performances which keep power together, continuing and ruling. To accept realities of basic protocol is thought self­-evident and manageable. To move forward in a modern society is to accept rules of play, rules that have a certain meaning of places of people, where one stands and what can one ask for and do. It is usual to hear there are things one cannot do especially when one has ideas of one’s own and wants to try them out. Power is a question of life and death. It is work to live and to have life on earth. Nature of power on social level between people works as natural selective force which is part of survival. We have to fit in. We try to avoid social Darwinism, but survival of the fittest is a ruling element in the world today between people. Our basic ideology is to either live or perish. It is part of a cunning game which one must be able to play and understand. Power is usually something one grows into but how? It is taught empowerment of class, gender and origin, lack or virtue within social classes or dictated virtues. Power as possession grows the older one gets. Children are the least powerful. It follows life experience, respect, relationships, profession, class, money, networks, occupations, education and

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knowledge how power around works.

Authority and leadership are basic functions and tasks in society to occupy and have for society to work properly. It is part of someone’s personality to lead, show the way. We like to practice freedom of choice under built beliefs of what is right and true. Something which is believed to be right and has also appeared to be so for some. Something that is right (true, real) does something good for some of us, benefits, makes feel good, proud and satisfied. It has got to do with learned common sense, structures of society, righteousness, justice, what is proper to do and what is not. The concrete idea of right is the believed right, true to that particular reality, what is seen fit and in someone’s interests. Right, what is known to be right in general, good to do and is that the good of one or many. [3.]

Who makes reality of ours in the end to be reality of mine? Have I learned to see reality through my culture’s eyes or mine, which part of my culture is me? My roots empower me, there is dislike and warmth. Culture works as manipulator which is easy to dislike. In where one is born works as powerful emotional molder of mind. One is born into the hands of the powerful who promise to take care of you. First reality issues we face are bodily needs that need to be fulfilled. To grow is to move away from situation where body rules the ways we act. Control of mind over body to realize ideas is a big step which now is and has been helped by machines and inventions to keep us satisfied and our basic needs filled and to create new needs. For us to be more conscious and be able to educate ourselves, have spare time to actually know ourselves instead of thinking how to manage daily.

What is expected of civil servants such as politicians? Do people who have power over economics have moral responsibility for how they handle money flow, stock exchange, banking, buying and selling and how they influence on lives of people all over the globe?

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How sentimental does power make us or is it just business and self-­ interest? It is every citizens’ duty to vote and choose representatives to parliament of the state and EU. Many choose not to use that vote. Who is to blame for economic crisis we are having to deal with at the moment? We look for guilty ones but aren’t we all guilty of not using our personal power enough to make things better? One voter does not have power? That is a lot to ask, to ask people to be more aware and less selfish, see the effort of finding out and be interested. To actually read the texts on products is what is it that you eat. Politics being made of and where it is made, by whom and in what kind of circumstances. Expecting honesty and integrity though having been disappointed several times one begins to doubt the whole idea of giving power to strangers over issues that concern every individual personally. What is it to have mandate of that kind? Isn’t it a huge obligation, freedom and duty to do as well as one possibly can to serve citizens’ rights and well­-being. Politicians work for people not the other way around. Even that does not seem self-evident. To do politics is a sign of strength and message of doing well, getting ahead in life. Unfortunately, there is an awful lot of distrust and things aren’t as transparent as they should be. True power is invisible and unreachable as long as we don’t understand how it works and feel powerless. Power has many characteristics and is negatively associated and toned with ruling over and making of politics of war. It stands outside though it is inside of us. It is given, taken, a prized winning. Power poses and has a meaning of putting people on pedestals to be looked up to, obeyed, worshipped, idolized. There is violence there, domination, hidden or bare, appreciated and not. To be a leader of a country something good is expected of that person. To be a father figure or a mother of a nation, nurturing and smiling kindly is a bit kinky position of trust and holds an obligation to do good. To take the lead and guide after being given mandate, but something that has been gained deceitfully can be taken away deceitfully. Position must be jealously guarded, fought for to keep it. Politics the power game, which is a paradox as politics is mainly supposed to function as field of common general issues and of doing common good not placing individual nor corporal interests first. Repeatedly politics show to be a crooked battle field of interests, gaining position, and status.

3.4 Bad example, what makes a totalitarian nation to exist. Bullying tactics tangled and exposed.

Power is a shield and a weapon. Tool of individual strength and ability. Totalitarian nation uses power in a nondemocratic way and is a good

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example of how power should not be used. In the world there are several countries which can be called totalitarian and which praise their way of handling state affairs. Dealing with cruelty, injustice, persecutions, death sentences, propaganda, censorship, restrictions of freedom of speech and expression. Poverty and organized crime flourish such as Russian Mafia etc. [5.] Notorious example of totalitarian nation and plots is Russia using its power to eliminate opposition in and outside the country. Critics of wars in Chechnya and of Vladimir Putin have been heavily silenced, imprisoned or killed like journalist Anna Politkovskaya (1958­-2006) who was shot in the head near her home. Assassins were and are never to be found but the killed are examples and warning signs. Ways of killing, rumors and doubts are strong evidence themselves of deep corruption. Aleksander Litvinenko who had escaped Russia to Great Britain was poisoned 2006 in London. He was an officer of the Russian secret service who criticized heavily wars in Chechnya and publicly accused (1998) his superiors of ordering assassination of Russian oligarch Boris Berezovsky, who also had fled Russia and applied for asylum in Britain 2003. 2013 he committed suicide by hanging. Death also was suspicious but evidence for anything else but suicide was never found.

Investigations started again this year 2013 to find reasons for death of Jasser Arafat (1929­-2004) and were concluded by Russians [7.] that he was not poisoned with the same radioactive substance as Aleksander Litvinenko (1962-­2006). [6.] It is sad history of Russia and international politics of today and it is clear Russia is not a modern democracy and not even trying to be one. How to negotiate with such a nation? State of democracy worldwide is fragile. It has reach a point of capitalist totalitarianism after fall of Soviet Union 1991 when Soviet integrated into fifteen separate countries [3.] still without freedom of speech and its politics is just as brutal and macho as ever. Question is what makes Russia practice militant politics? Is it incapable of doing otherwise? Why does it assume it wins by acting the way it does and what does it win other than horrid scalps?

Cultural difference between Finland and Russia is wide therefore my comprehension does not find logical reasons to abolishing political criticism, marginalizing and criminalizing difference such as LGBTQ lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Church has traditionally had strong stand in Russia and its influence on how sexual minorities or any other ‘oddities’ distracting social order are treated is immense. Whether leader of the country wishes to be friends with the church he has to have an opinion about LGBTQ people and keep it very traditional. It is a relationship of give and take between the church and the state. Neither is to be trusted (as horrible as it sounds and is).

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Divinity in service of leadership. God who is the ultimate authority working through and with those who dare to speak his words. Words of God which cannot and must not be questioned but are interpreted and decoded (translations of translation, faith at work in multi­production of men with power and production of political meaning and desires). What comes to Christianity and power it holds in the world of religion and politics it is clearly said thou shallt not kill and the same goes for judging. It is not up to people to make the ultimate decisions over anyone. This I understand is against death penalty, ill-treatment of homosexuals, disabled, dissidents and of anybody who happens to disagree or live differently than you. One who is truly having faith should know this. Especially Russia is an interesting case of hypocrisy and macho-made divine­ culture. Such is the case in many sizable and powerful nations exploiting faith. Faith is power, God is power-ful. Staying and gaining power, to justify and make ill human action have God’s blessing. One side to tyranny is to build a legend and myth over one person and make him second largest in the known world. Who could be bigger than God who is a man himself. Totalitarian power is based on underestimation and anti­-intellectual forceful superiority of chosen ideology and chosen humanity which steps on diversity and difference, which usually are seen as threats. There is a strict pure way to rule and think, which wishes to eliminate all other ways of expression, knowing, living and believing. This is how capitalism functions at the moment with the help of surveillance and the very orthodox goals of only expanding its power and wealth of those who serve this particular God. There is a group of people who stand for power, who seek it, who search for power and those who use that power in a chosen way to benefit from it in a chosen manner. Traditional and concrete way is to use power as a weapon as is the case in many authoritarian countries. Weapon of choice is to keep vast mass of people quiet and oppressed. It is a weird and familiar theater. Power is to secure and make sure things are smooth and stay that way. Power elite has defined what is a good state of things for that particular nation and its people or a particular group in that state which may not be all the people of that state. Power elite made with money has also defined what meanings do inhabitants of that state have for people of power, why people live in that state, what is purpose of a state to those citizens and globally. It has a body and amount of aggression which must be taken into consideration. Power raises emotions. No one wants to be a button to be moved and be pushed, so one has to seek to obtain power in order not to be disadvantaged. Learning to be cunning and deceitful is part of totalitarianism. In this way we are part of nature’s survival of the fittest circle socially, politically and organically. Society’s supposed task is to reduce, soften and possibly remove circumstances that make cruelty and favoring of the ‘fittest’ encouragable, self­-evident, lucrative and possible. This happens by

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making society tolerant and open for multiple choices to appear and occur. Power is a position where someone is placed because that someone has specific qualities for that position. What kind of specific qualification and means do people like Aleksander Lukashenko or Vladimir Putin have for them to stay in power and have countries of theirs continuously ruled in authoritarian way? Position which requires abilities, leadership, trust of a nation and loyalty, clearly wealth and friends. Foucault says there is truth in power. Something that has proved false has lost its power. What if all why a nation functions is false and false has become truth and there is no one to trust. Situation where everyone is corrupt the one who has the most power is the most corrupt. To have power is to have responsibility but to whom are Aleksander Lukashenko president of Belarus (1994) and Vladimir Putin current president of Russia (2012) responsible for? Power of a dictator is given and taken and it is a force to make others do organized work for that someone who has the power. [8.][9.]

1.http://criticallegalthinking.com/2013/10/11/notes-thought-walter-benjamin-critique-violence/­ (3.12.2013) by Signe Larssen, Difficulty of translating the word power, Macht, Gewald, authority, how do we understand power.
2.https://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/08/magazine/the-wedding-fix-is-in.html
(8.12.2013), article about detailed organizing of a wedding and creating bourgeois life through buying a theatrical ceremony. Price transparency, the cost of happiness. by Catherine Rampell

3.https://www.theguardian.com/environment/blog/2013/dec/03/economic-revolution-environmental-plans (3.12.2013) article by Andrew Simms, what kind of revolution is at hand after financial crisis in Europe, how do we alter power relations in financial world to serve societies instead only the rich and how do we keep the environment unpolluted. 4.http://www.coldwar.org/articles/90s/fall_of_the_soviet_union.asp (4.12.2013) Archive with basic info on Cold War and Soviet Union.
5.https://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/opinion/2013/12/ukraine-victims-euro-russian-divide-2013122132119927878.html (3.12.2013) by Rosa Balfour analyzing situation in Ukraine after wave of demonstrations and an ongoing revolution for Ukraine to become member of EU.
6.https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/nov/06/polonium-210-poison-alexander-litvinenko 
(3.12.2013) An assassination by Russian secret police? Nobody knows.

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7.https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/palestinianauthority/10538010/Yasser-Arafat-died-of-natural-causes-Russia-says.html (27.12.2013) by Inna Lazareva 8.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_Russia (4.12.2013)
9.http://carnegieendowment.org/2013/12/04/egypt­s­draft­constitution­rewards­military­and­judiciary/gvc8  
(4.12.2013) by Nathan J. Brown, Michelle Dunn, Carnagie endowment for international peace, article about difficulties of making a democratic constitution after Revolution 2013, the problematical Muslim Brotherhood, military rule and making Egypt a democracy.
9. https://chomsky.info/20131208-2/ (8.12.2013) neoliberalism is some misleading concept doctrines of which are not either new nor liberal. Sunday, 08 December 2013 By CJ Polychroniou and Anastasia Giamali, Truthout | Interview, it is working for the rich, the world.