It takes one Click

It takes one click.

Get down on your fucking knees! The claim that the world is changing incredibly fast. What is the speed a bullet has? You won’t feel it once it hits your head. World of agony is too much to take. Don’t speak it out just hear the bang. That is what we do, not tolerate truth about ourselves. Our deeds, our need to enslave, to humiliate, things we do not take if they are not for granted. Preserving prejudice and privilege as something innocent playing as contrast to our cruelty as a value to sell and be covered by. It is the truth we should like but we kill it, because it is not enough. We don’t get ahead fast enough honestly. It even sounds too little, too bold to be alive. The one who speaks the truth and is not believed because it is too much to take.

Get down on your fucking knees! This command is about power used, power liked and loved, power of ruining innocence of someone, ruining possibilities of someone for a life. This gun is an accusation and it is pointed at you. It is my emotional response for you questioning me, for you to obey me. It is my belief my religion my faith and reassuring my righteousness. Me holding my truth, my path in my hand: Get down on your fucking knees! Now! Bow your head, feel my weapon on you, how cold it is against your skin, against your fear, against your life. Where are you when you are there afraid, in the dirt, below me breathing. Me above you looking at you with anger, looking at you like you were nothing, not even a human. Me with possibility and desire of pulling the trigger, click. It takes one click.

Like a living thing

Like a living thing

Like a living thing

(Make a sound like horse’s neigh before reading this poem.)

Horse’s cunt. Much said about vagina. NO! Much talked about vagina. Yes! To talk about the downstairs, what is it all about? Endless curiosity and nosiness. To get to know the bottom of it. To the bottom of a bottomless pit. An openly talked about but not discussed, not looked at to get to know but feel funny about. What is fear? The things you never wear, the things you wear not to be seen in. The things you do not do, not to be mistaken for something else. Viva brutality, naive cruelty. To grow up to be a man, to have characteristics of a man. A blue kite, a stolen horse let go and hear it galloping scared not seeing anything. I love a good party. Spectacle of emotions, a riot smashed not gathering the pieces.

Bushes of berries, black and red.
What cruelty to make him stay there. Idle and unhurt. That he is the only spectacle of emotions that is not allowed to show in full. It is feminine to be ruled by emotions. All of them. Not being able to control them. That within the given frames stay the same.

Tamed, stained, the same, poorly unbeatable, unbearable, but still to speak of him in different tone that of the other, incorrect, indifferent, hostile. To remove him, it is terrible to feel this way and feel inadequate, this alone and incapable of living like a living thing.

Wet shoes, gouache, 75*55cm, 2008

Man-made deserts, they need to be described and depicted on emotional level and paint paintings when there is nothing there, somehow and yet all we need is close by.

Man-made deserts, gouache on paper, 55*75cm, 2009


Tired of confronting thrown dirty cloths of yours. Tired of cleaning man-made deserts. I need you to have to face and own completely and entirely what you make.

Sky of sky, sky of light, sky of space, pressuring cold, sky without breath, sky of layers that we invade, our particles of what is that. I want to say emptiness but it is anything but. They are full clouds until they collide, the contradictions entwined in black night coming down. Blackest and lilac space, part of it open but I am thankful for this lack of artificial light. Circling sensations of being small insignificant, breathing when I would like to hold my breath. Tired of this work. Not seeing anything but that above, anything worth seeing, anything worth sensing.

Tutkielmia perhosesta, yökkösestä, sudenkorennosta, kimalaisesta ja muista hyönteisistä, guassi, värikynä ja vesiväri paperille, 2008. Perhosen muoto, löytyneet osat, löytyminen kuolleena, siipien pigmentti joka tarttuu sormiin.

guassi paperille, 2008

Studies on butterfly, noctuid, dragonfly, bumble bee and other insects found dead and their parts on paper with gouache, watercolour and colouring pen. Pigment on the wings that gets stuck on one’s fingers.

Let’s talk more my bunny!

Let’s talk more my bunny!

March 6, 2013 

Hello! My name is Tanya. I am lonely Russian woman from Ulyanovsk. I hope you will interested in my letter or in my structure in agency. I have decided to write to you really liked to me. Some more about me…. I am 25, I have finished medical university in our city and now I work as the children’s doctor. My free time I spend on a hippodrome, as I 7 years am engaged in equestrian sport. I think more about my appearance will tell you my photos. If you want to learn more about me you may write me to Zvyereva68@yandex.ru Also if you want to ask me some questoins (if interested in me), please write me and I promise answer you and also I will send you more of my photos. Bye for now. 

I hope it’s letter will not without your reply. ?  


Mutsi/Ohje tyttärelle/Saippuan valmistus

Ohje tyttärelle
Saippuan valmistus

Ohjeet tyttärelle, kun hän menee naimisiin.
Sytytä tuli takapihalle ja lämmitä sadevettä padassa.
Jos sattuu tuulemaan, niin sijoita pesuvadit siten, ettei savu tule silmiisi. Sekoita lipeää kiehuvaan veteen. Lajittele pyykki kolmeen pinkkaan, yhteen valkoiset, toiseen kirjavat ja kolmanteen työvaatteet ja rievut. Sekoita perunajauhoja kylmään veteen tasaiseksi puuroksi ja ohenna se sitten kiehuvalla vedellä sopivaksi tärkiksi. Hiero pyykkiä pesulautaa vasten, hankaa kovasti, keitä. Hiero myös kirjavat, mutta älä keitä niitä. Huuhtele ne ja kierrä kuiviksi. Nosta valkopyykki padasta pesukartulla. Huuhtele ensin pelkällä vedellä ja sitten sinikuulaa käyttäen kierrä kuivaksi. Levitä vaatteet ruohikolle kuivumaan, ripusta rievut aidalle, kaada huuhteluvesi eläimille, pese lämpimällä pesuvedellä eteisen lattia, muuta yllesi puhdas leninki, kampaa tukkasi, keitä itsellesi kupillinen vahvaa kahvia, lepuuta itseäsi keinutuolissa ja ajattele kuinka hyvä sinun on olla.

Tuhka: Säilytä kannellisessa astiassa. Siivilöi tuhka lipeäksi. 1 litra vettä, 1 kilo tuhkaa saippuaan. Tuhka laitetaan tiheään pussiin ja kastellaan kylmällä vedellä. Keitetään tunnin ajan.

Saippuan keitto, luusaippuaa
3 kiloa ydinluita
3-4 litraa vettä
300-400 grammaa lipeää tai koivutuhkalipeää
3 ruokalusikallista suolaa

Vesi ja osa lipeästä sekoitetaan ja kun vesi alkaa kiehua, lisätään luut. Noin 11/2 tuntia kiehumista. Siivilöidään, lisätään lipeä, jos keitoksen pinnalle on noussut rasvaa. Saippuan on oltava venyvää ja sakeaa, jolloin lisätään suola. Saa kiehahtaa, otetaan hyytymään. Pinnalle muodostuu saippuakerros ja pohjalle ns. suopaa.

Rasvasaippua: 500g rasvoja, 11/2L vettä, 80-100g lipeäkiveä, 2 rkl suolaa

Ohjeet muistaakseni Maaseudun tulevaisuudesta joskus menneisyydessä.