Control is a state issue and it is a gender issue, to have a structure and plan, reasons to do things, purpose. Basically nature creates us the first set of boundaries within which we function. Religion is to give us guidelines how to live a life within approved frames which are to control us given by a higher force. All of human life is thinking, experimenting and questioning one’s boundaries and what kind of control is to be obeyed, what is good kind of control and what do we dare to break in terms of rules. It is a safety issue, cultural and political issue where we draw the lines of good and bad, right and wrong and who gets to decide. What comes to women and girls many decisions are done without them, decided for them as if women and girls were incapable of knowing and it would be too dangerous for them to decide much anything concerning their lives. I for example have authority over my life but there is pressure for me to accomplish traditional duties that are for women ‘naturally’. My choices are and have been unconventional and questions I hear in repeat tell the same old story where it is almost impossible to imagine and understand why someone does the things I do. It is of course an issue that ironically said does not concern others but me, still anything breaking the ‘normal’ becomes a topic to discuss as does teenage pregnancy, who the daddy is etc. In my case meaning of speech outside of me of me is to control me, judging is one form of control where the guilty one is outside. Those who can talk among themselves and understand each other have power to make decisions and pass judgments. So how do I control myself here? First feelings, then thoughts and then what I say and do. I control myself pretty well, how about you? To control urges, desires, habits is what we call civilised, civil behaviour and it has been how we have made distinction between humans and animals and between people. To know where the limit goes is matter of education. And what are those limits deemed to be broken, how progress happens.
Sometimes when it is about adults still one has to talk like talking to minors: When one talks whatever and word is passed forward, it cannot be controlled. I too make judgments of people. I make them by how they treat others. This is about how one controls one’s behaviour towards others, it is about respect and knowing boundaries there are. It is about knowing what human worth is, how to value life of any being. To control our violent urges and needs we stay in a state of not harming.
https://aeon.co/essays/there-is-no-shame-worse-than-poor-teeth-in-a-rich-world “I learnt early and often that one doesn’t leave a place, class or culture and enter another, but rather holds the privilege and burden of many narratives simultaneously.”
The issues that are being controlled firstly are sexuality, body image and creative mind. Enjoyment and lust defined and put to shame, maybe it is scare. This goes especially for women. Female is essentially a threat. She is vulgar. Her sexuality and expressing it threaten the order of straight world, traditions, religions and state. We live to enjoy products and services, to feel good inside a frame. We have to work in order to embrace ourselves as tools, our achievements and as members of a society, society is to provide entertainment for us, it is a way to take care of us. Make us feel part of. We live to have fun, to be entertained, but we must see the effort to afford the entertainment, we must know it is not for free, enjoyment of life. It has to be earned. To be allowed to form ourselves, evolve and form our daily functions and selves, deeds, identities, form them as they may be ‘not fitting’, society will be formed as a byproduct to be our image. We live in controlling society, society controls us to become of certain kind and we control each other, favor people that are similar to us, please us, we make society a controlling society and ourselves control freaks.