Noble beauty like Everest

Perhospuutarhassa/at Butterfly garden, Joensuu, 2000

Noble beauty like Everest

I take credit for setting the world on fire. Like Everest, do you think it is charging, do you think it is changing? Greatest individual who ever did say thank you for the flames and went ahead. Saw something ahead worthwhile to walk to, to crawl to, to want as a human. We are this want, we are want and as much as we want. Striking hitting setting stepping; to do against would be the most influencing aggression. Not to say anything, give a mental mugging and still getting up, wanting still something is happening out of mental disrupt urge, like untrue, like a dream. Scariest negative impulse to make nervous sweat. To radically push and show a point of view, state of mind state of body make fall let fall happen as far as it goes, make falling look like a normal happening resulting understanding. Is there someone to catch you? Don’t! I catch myself. Something to hit ferociously. I am there, it sounds as self-loath, self-pity and hate, is put in one, is against me. To take risks of losing life and not be caught, not be found, to be hated. Contradictions of living in hype in positive, trying to be good, telling me to be good, telling how to be good, hard to reach, a noble beauty like Everest.

Anyone ever wondered what kind of an influence one’s sex, origin and looks have in life in general and in the arts?

I claim they have more significance than anyone cares to admit. Vanity industries do pay attention to the surface much more than I and I am shocked when what I wear is paid more attention to than what kind of art I do or my looks tell what I am capable of (with which I like to play with). How much is it in the interests of the arts to keep stereotypes alive or whose interests are in question all in all, because they are not mine? One can wonder and it is truly weird one has to keep up appearance and act upon one’s appearance. I make this assumption, I should act according to my sex, sex and gender are always an issue, and appearance, because such is my strongest asset? What is the appearance of an artist today, a businessman who functions like a machine, is efficient and more importantly is male? Clichés are so much alive, I wonder the speed of progress. (What progress?) Things that instantly come to your mind when you see someone, what do they tell of you?

BTW, any modelling agency hire 45yrs old? That would be a career change, lol. Oh no, I should lose weight.