What is an achievement?

To be able to measure what has been achieved is ground for growth. We have to be able to know and see accomplishments, results and effects of our work to proceed and make progress. We have to be able to evaluate our doings critically, good things and not so good things done.  How well we are able to do this is again a result of many things. Self-perception, self-worth and objectivity play a big part. Can we accept criticism given and change our ways, can anybody give feedback and is somebody else’s feedback more valuable than some other’s. How do we value our work and results ourselves? Why do we do what we do, reasons for working and achieving. Is it good for me only or good for many. How valuable am I as a person when I do the work that I do.

Does my achievement show, is it shown, forgotten, undervalued, regarded rightfully, equally, copied and imitated. Do I get the credit I deserve? Most everybody who does creative work goes through it all the time. We seek recognition like love and we seek it desperately. It is a sensitive field and can easily lead to corruption. It makes narcissists and twisted means flourish. So knowing this how do we measure achievement? What are our guiding lines and achievements we compare to deeds of our own?

Me object me object you subject, you someone, me something, you everything me nothing

Special quality of you who has eyes versus not very special quality of mine who has skin is a battleground situation. Hands to protect, brain to destroy. That we are different in multiple ways beginning from intellect to sex, position to finance and all the way to background, origin and place of living. The foundation of human relations is unbelievably shallow in its possible diversity, and what comes to being a woman among the ‘civilized’ ‘well-educated’ people with means who wish to protect what they have got in whatever ways they possibly can, is in its reality predatory. Keeping the stage steady the successful throwing little bits and pieces around for those who will fetch and catch. Amount of arrogance is spectacular, despair to succeed is sad. Anybody who might jeopardize this ‘modern’ power structure, play and illusion of the better and something worth reaching out must be put down and silenced, minimized and belittled, because what would be better than what they have got.

This of course is repetition of the horror created by contemporary people and is sadly human behaviour endlessly happening and doing harmful things in repeat. Nothing new to me and to many, but possibly it is news to those who seriously are in belief of extraordinary quality and talent of theirs and truly seek the power element to stand on. As these qualities of theirs are proved by extraordinary experts and professionals whom we like to believe because they are experts. We must believe that those who make decisions know what they are doing and are able to choose correctly with what is just, true and right. We must believe in people’s integrity and honesty, but it is made quite impossible. There are few people one can trust if any. 


” ‘You,’ your joys and your sorrows, your memories and your ambitions, your sense of personal identity and free will, are in fact no more than the behavior of a vast assembly of nerve cells and their associated molecules.” Notice the scare quotes around you. “You” think that you are something special, a subject who experiences joys and sorrows, memories, ambitions, a sense of identity and a free will. But that, Crick wants to inform you, is an illusion. “You” are an object. “You” are your body, a collection of nerve cells, albeit enmeshed amidst many other kinds of cells.”

…and what comes to intellect, it is more complex than your face. Those who in repeat pass on hurt and ill are those who have some deep hideous mental problems. That they deny it is part of the problem. How deep can you get?

Letting go of victimhood. 


Glued to every breath. Take a deep breath. Hold that trophy dear, polish it, keep it intact in a vacuum for us to look at.

She can’ t help of laughing. Well what did you expect. Yes exactly, what do you expect?

Glued to what? To the wall, to the pavement, to the past, to what you said, to your face, grabbing your coattail. To your penis probably. Maybe so. So beware of the glue-fingered woman. She’ll come and catch you. If it looks like to you she is in need of your comfort and security of your safe and entertaining company, run. Take that cup, turn and jump into the water.

Highly irregular blond naivety can be deceiving. Is it truly naivety of mine or someone else’s.  Inability to see female sex in a light of accomplishing and creating herself on her own. Making a way as an independent individual who has thoughts of her own. We do not live in a world that is open to variety and different kinds of opinions.

Shame. The shameful thing. No, not what I am wearing, no. Just born bad and doing the unexpected. What did they expect?
I am overwhelmed by the lack of empathy and compassion, scared of such people who seem to be the most. We are so attached to our need of ‘friends’ and contacts that we suspect everyone whom we do not know. We think we know those who we have fun with, who are ‘close’ and friendly with us. After having met men who are ashamed of women who do not fit category of ideal trophy woman, women who can be displayed for those friends, and after having been exposed to men’s complete indifference and unawareness of what it is to be a woman in a world of trophies, I am beginning to have the whole picture of the very limited way how men see women. Surprise is of course that many women wish to be displayed as trophies. You know already what a trophy woman is, right? It is probably not an official term. Woman is presented as an object in male competition and game where winner takes it all.

We like to expect and think we know. We are hugely disappointed when our expectations fail us, when they are not fulfilled. Question is how we become to expect something? We expect something from someone, something to happen, we expect our lives to be of certain kind. We have ‘great’ expectations. Great meaning big material things mostly. We like to show off, be better than. To define the better would be good to check from time to time. What we value and why.

Nothing is unpolitical. So choose wisely.


It is dangerous for the whole society to have an university that is scared, that avoids consciously touching issues that might cause losing of means and ‘valuable contacts’. This is how the all of arts functions, via contacts and fear. What kind of visual contents gets to be seen, used and spread through the ‘official’ machinery that produces mass media and material for the consumers is the heavy question. If those who make the mainstream visuals are not interested in politics or are unaware and/or scared to comment openly, what kind of atmosphere do we make?

In the politically flammable world to take sides is risky, but it is even more risky not to have anything to say. It is risky for the future of democracy. It is unethical not to defend human rights, not to speak for equality and act against conformity. University that does no openly object oppression, dictatorship and slavery is a rotten university, anti-intellectual and unreliable in terms of research. Middle class bourgeoisie is backs and heads turned into wrong way, turned into a silent wall, against an open and equal world.

I am not even expecting you to acknowledge. I am expecting a defensive wave. That is how you protect yourselves and your kind. Living in denial and liking it. Lack of self-criticism and inability to change make a society that serves and protects those who already have power.


Unordinary, unorthodox, offbeat, unusual, extraordinary, uncommon

Synonyms to something atypical and abnormal anything. What is strange, odd, peculiar, out-of-order is that something breaks a mindset rule that someone observing and organizing is used to and likes. Some like the comfort of not much change in the balance of daily routines. Why do we like such comfortable routines daily and why doing things in the same way everyday is comfortable? I find such patterns very annoying and seek to do things always in some different way to make a difference in my life. Even that makes me peculiar and offbeat. A beat never heard before, not even or especially here. Well it is so I get bored with the same old same old and like to think what else is there. Don’t you? As I see it those who try to change things face pretty huge obstacles by people who like their comfort unchanged. They like their benefits, rules and regulations.

One thing that I don’t appreciate is the amazement when someone tries something ‘new’. For example commenting a girl skateboarding, belittling women who do the so-called men’s work, belittling artist’s work because artist is a woman. Belittling, belittling if girls dress like boys, listen to same music as boys, are interested in the same things as boys. Those things are not anything new and there are no limits what a girl can be interested in. Girls’ stuff and boys stuff are no more. But if you demand that there are girls’ stuff and your daughter does not like your limited ideas, what do you do?

Don’t comment oh dear, how is that possible. ENCOURAGE! over and over again. There is too little encouragement! Say that is marvelous! Learn to say good for you! Well done!
Learn to give good feedback. If you really wish to comment, encourage instead of belittling. If you are not ordinary, but offbeat let everybody else be too.