Fantasy of perfection

To think something is mediocre is to think that it is not the extraordinary giving an experience we are after or wonderfully surprised by. Mediocre is something most people like to avoid belonging to, being called and having it. Why is mediocre the dull and average way of life, choosing a life and a mode on to which mainstream is build and is still so much loathed as something unwanted and boring but still liked and wanted? Those boring characteristics usually are repetitious and given from above to avoid thinking for yourself, to avoid conflict and find alternatives that might be somewhat different and contradicting to power relations, taste, traditions and common ways of thinking which feel safe, good and acceptable.

Mediocre is the acceptable something we fall for because it is something we all should be having, enjoying and doing and we like this bond. For instance owning certain electronic devices is seen normal and they belong to modern home which we all share. The fact that electronic tools making our lives easier are at reach for all is making the mediocre mode we now know as normal accessible in a way that we do not have to question these choices which we make to fit in to be connected. We want to be part of the world that lives via electricity and labor forces of far away lands. Cheapness is mediocre but it can be expensive. We do not question because we do not have to, our comfort is a state of peace of mind but also state of selfish demand to fulfill all needs which mediocre people want because they reach out for the perfect comfort and ease, but also perfect level of luxury with which to compete and compare. Mediocre is one kind of battle and competition between those who like material good and appreciate status this visible wealth bring.

My view on mediocre is also a view on the middle class. Middle class is finding its superiority in mediocre and through mediocre which contradictory thought and happening is to try and find the ultimate top on this made up mediocre level without acknowledging that there are other dimensions with capacity to outnumber and be dashingly better. Those other dimensions demand hard work to get to, so it is very mediocre not to try anything on a whim, anything that jeopardizes the balance for which mediocre people work for to maintain. Jealousy is a mediocre characteristic as is greed. To deny talent, quality of some other point of view, silence those who see and do differently, deny being wrong and doing wrong is very mediocre. It is inability to face and understand or even find one’s limits and limits of one’s way of life, it is inability to absorb change, be change and learn from mistakes. Mediocre is to bully and show contempt for those who manage to see outside the given model of what life should be. To seek perfection and originality is strangely the ideal for middle class and mediocre, how this search succeeds is subjective matter of opinion. Perfection can be wearing a perfect evening gown but where does it take us? Wearing perfection and making it? Measuring originality which there is much in the world seems to be hard enough task and somehow the easiest of choices are being made over and over again thinking they are the best there is. How originality is found, how we pay attention to it? Is it ugly, repulsive,unkind, disturbing, offensive, vulgar, cruel and demanding of something else than what we want to see? Usually yes. Mediocre is to think we can buy originality and perfection.

Define perfection to me.

Defining helps us understand. It is clear, we need to understand to make new future not repeat the old. Definitions may not be all that clear so this is a bit tricky business. The further one goes the more complex issues are tangled with each other. New things appear. Something we did not know about. Definitions require knowledge over, thorough thought, definite information and learning for them to be correct. We need definitions to be correct. We want to be accurate and sure, right? It is beneficiary for all to find out the truth, stick with the truth, plain and honest. We know that we do not know the bottom of things. Often we like to think we know. Too often. To be happy with half-truths is what we like to be, if they make our lives interesting. If we benefit from half-truths we stick with them, some of us. It is wise to be aware of almost limitless possibilities of this world of ours, almost limitless within our limits (and what in the end is ours anyway), we should be able to compare the options and be able to choose what is right. Possibilities of ours, damage we can do and the good we can achieve, what is adequate and enough.
How far can we define, endlessly. (Don’t end up going in circles. End up somewhere you have never been.) How far can and will we reach is to be seen. Some call it progress and development reaching out further and further. Does it stop at some point digging and reaching out for the precious? Do we want to educate ourselves or prove something? Till we are satisfied or till we have reached for the truth. How do we find evidence of truth, if everybody has their own? It is satisfying to be able to be sure and know something for a fact. With what kinds of tools do we define and conclude, make decisions that are far reaching, results that are unknown and what might happen. What do we ultimately do and make is to be seen. Decide our minds, set things right, our right. We use our eyes to make up truths and realities. Can we sit in the dark one day? Would it make us mad? Define darkness.
Asking whether I have scars and other personal issues.

Do you want to see my scars, some of them are visible, visible lines of tissue damage, marks of wounds that can look most anything, disturbing and unusual, broken skin. I have got welding scars, knife scars, angle grinder scar on my thumb, scars I don’t remember where I got them from. Nothing very serious nor large, but they are there, accidents, slips of my hand. I have come to this topic of defining perfection since perfection of some kind defined, calculated, cloned, cut, force-fed and decided is what we seek and look for to find and have, an impossible and a dream. Such as perfect skin and complexion seem to be and are the first things we like to pay attention to, proportions, measurements, comparison. All people have their own ideas of perfection and they wish to find it in other people. Things we see in each others and in ourselves, things we like or find repulsive is a little bit a mystery to me. Maybe we look for symmetry and harmony in appearance. The more mysterious it becomes is when I am under a looking glass myself and there is a flaw in me someone dislikes. What is my perfection if I have any code nor knowledge over infinite truth of human perfection.

One thing are the mistakes you pay attention to so closely. They pop out, jump on your face and say I am not perfect.


It’s Miss May!

Perfection is an interesting goal. I as an artist am puzzled by it, it is the thing needed in art. It is an absolute, layered fulfillment. Question is is there something behind perfect? Does it end something when found? To define perfect is to leave out something. Perfection and beauty, culturally bound liking and appreciation. It is to find something whole and solid to fill every possible desire, to become content, find and conquer, achieve and win. It is satisfaction and thrill. Thought is, it is good to be perfectionist, like something to prove. But whose perfect is in question and for who do we seek to be perfect. Perfection, the idea of perfect, is wanted when there is a show going on, when there is something precious to gain. It is to stand out and be special, make an impression, give an awe.

I am little annoyed by perfectionist way of doing things. There is something missing there, but it is not neurosis nor compulsiveness, nor obsession, despair and unhappiness, fear of failure that is lacking. They are there like knives, like guilt and shame, fear of abandonment. Perfectionism is full of those things. It can be predatory and loath against making mistakes, which can prevent from trying. Prevent from being different. Special fades from narrow perfection, so does originality.