Where is honor?

Is woman’s honor more fragile than man’s honor? How honored are we and where does our honor begin? Who gives us our honor? It can be taken away like an object due to something we have done or we can lack honor because of gender or sexual orientation. We can be threatened to lose honor and end up not having much or any left. Some of us care about it some don’t. It is a culturally made construction that holds us and can make us do things to each other, things that are less honorable, but are justified if honor is publicly disrespected. Honor is a complex idea of civilized humanity, behavior and status system, that is connected to god via society. Honor and its graveness is depended on what kind of life is valued, what gives value to gender, age, occupation, status, group approval, opinion. It is cohesion that is needed to keep an order dictated by someone for various reasons which don’t have to be sensible, dictated by those who know honor, have honor, do honorary deeds and have authority to say who does not have honor, who can be respected. People need their groups to keep on living. Are there groups for those without honor, groups for those who think they have honor but do not, for those who live a lie? I haven’t seen much honor lately even though people like to think they have honor, which is probably the same as dignity, people are all more or less honorable to themselves. I like to think people who violently defend their honor do not have any or who place honor of their’s in front of honor of someone else are without honor. Violence, death, shame and threat connect with having honor, something to die for, defending it as one’s face and possession where one stands. We are so easily fooled. There is no honor in killing. That there is honor in visiting someone’s grave but not getting to know a living person.
I have began to think what is it, because what I see as honorable truly is not visualizing itself in the world today. To me it seems like honor is a lookalike, an act that needs to be tended and kept up, so it is a face that can be lost, a mask. I also think it is more important for men than for women, more important for a family as a whole, because it still happens that people who do not meet the standards of family honor and proper are abandoned and shut out. This happens too often for LGBTQ-people, disabled, to anyone who is seen as a freak and shameful. Traditional sense of honor and respectability, way of life that needs to be maintained as it is, without it changing or being challenged is very much alive. Conventional views stick hard and are difficult to change for some reason. Even though conventions do not make any sense especially if they strangle people to death. Conventional is boring, outdated and doing more harm than good because most people probably are not that normal as they like to make other to believe. Conventional perceptions on what is shameful, what is right, how to live, what is good are tightly woven into concept of honor. It is honorable to make a living, support one’s family and oneself, live in a way that does not break the moral code and is not bizarre.
What kind of honor is in making gossip, abandoning one’s child, making war or killing one’s daughter for falling in love with a wrong boy or a girl, which is obviously more terrible option. Ill talk is interesting in this context because many who gossip and wonder other people’s choices in life condemn morale of those whom they speak of. Irony is strangely enough often not visible to those who lightly thrash those others, judging those others and their flaws.
Where is honor? Is honor with those who ban pornography or with those who turn their backs to people who are not liked? What is there to like? What is an honorary thing to do? I think many are not doing the honorary thing. Moral is lacking there where the moral code is strict. Where there are things to lose, where losing honor over braking conventions is horrible abomination, what there is to lose that we haven’t lost already?