Anyone ever wondered what kind of an influence one’s sex, origin and looks have in life in general and in the arts?

I claim they have more significance than anyone cares to admit. Vanity industries do pay attention to the surface much more than I and I am shocked when what I wear is paid more attention to than what kind of art I do or my looks tell what I am capable of (with which I like to play with). How much is it in the interests of the arts to keep stereotypes alive or whose interests are in question all in all, because they are not mine? One can wonder and it is truly weird one has to keep up appearance and act upon one’s appearance. I make this assumption, I should act according to my sex, sex and gender are always an issue, and appearance, because such is my strongest asset? What is the appearance of an artist today, a businessman who functions like a machine, is efficient and more importantly is male? Clichés are so much alive, I wonder the speed of progress. (What progress?) Things that instantly come to your mind when you see someone, what do they tell of you?

BTW, any modelling agency hire 45yrs old? That would be a career change, lol. Oh no, I should lose weight.

Victim or a survivor and why surviving is hard to talk about? We have culture of strength.

The strangest and scariest as surreal repetitious event has been to witness misogyny done by women and how it kind of belongs to the territory of being female that you are hated, despised, suspected and treated like garbage especially if you are young, pretty, talented and have thoughts that challenge existing views, roles and hierarchies. I still look youngish but have looked young and naive, as like I was born with it, so the weird dilemma of not fitting in is a normalcy. This issue is a difficult to talk about without it sounding asking for empathy and being a victim of bullying which the whole not fitting in and weirdo setting is all about. For a blond, thin and childlike which characteristics to many equal mental disability things on level of how people react to you remain surprisingly unchanged. And I for example have began to see this existing position more a strength than weakness. To be on your side because of your genitals is to understand how gender roles function and are for, be on side of women because they are women and women support men because they are men. Do men support women because they are women and therefore worthy of support or do we support people because to support is a human thing to do? Eh, I don’t know. Maybe people support those who they care for, supporting someone supports also you. Gender works for those who fall into such roles effortlessly and think they are a good thing. It has been obvious solidarity can be nonexistent when safety and balance is threatened. Threat is a curious feeling as is fear. Fear of dramatic change is what keeps traditional roles needed and in part they do have a place. Want to guess why? I kind of have my theory. Have you ever been target of gossip? I call it ill talk because something is very wrong in that situation and the main issue is hurt. I have been talked about all my life in a bad sense. To repeat all could be made into a crystal idea: there is something in this person that pushes buttons instantly. It is about the way one looks like, what one does, how one does it and how one is in the world and how well one fits in. To fit in is a compulsory issue. It is clear for those who do not fit in and do the unexpected word goes on, what is the expected? It is a ritual to live and way of telling is there is something wrong with you and those who talk do not like it. Most of gossip is ill and about this problematic nature of humans where safety acceptability and being similar next to a clone is what does not threaten power and self-worth of tiny minds who are scared. I have found this very hurtful, dehumanising and have become neurotic in the way that I should be very aware if I do not please as I should something bad happens. Most hurtful it is when other women see it their issue to slam other women and leave out the stigmatised.


As I see it, it is a normalised way to regulate, isolate, define, rule and be made feel guilty of having done and said something that has broken safety barriers of thought of how women for instance should behave, talk, dress, live etc. This is similar to politics where the ‘enemy’ is demonized beyond anything imaginable to be the arch-enemy and evil on earth. It is no wonder Russia has had the label of the enemy nr 1 in people’s mind. How can I like Russia, someone asked me. There is so much to like about Russia and not to like, as there is in anything. One-sided truth is accepted because it is a machine that keeps the story alive, so much so that truth remains to be uncovered for those who go look for it and they have to dig deeper. Demonising works especially well when the enemy is fairly unknown, does things unconventionally and looks different. The one who speaks of the enemy is somewhat trusted, has authority and is known as legal truth teller knowing what is what, is close by and is verbally as visually convincing. demonizing is a basic tool to hold power, keep things unchanged because those who wish to change anything are labeled bad influences and in any way unfit to manage anything, know anything, are unreliable, rotten, threatening and unsafe to be with and be listened to. Weirdos, freaks, punks, anything that goes beyond the normalised and steady balance.

Demonizing has been used through out all times and works for those who do not know better. Anything and anyone who threatens the order of things and ways to think is often put down by the tool of telling a one-sided view, a scare, the truth, and with help of the mass who believe this given truth it can be the only info there is, only info that must be believed or otherwise you will be labeled as well. What to believe and whom to trust?

Women are and have been, as we all know, ones very fragile and poorly protected what comes to being demonized. It still does not take much rumours, dressing and behaving inappropriately to be targeted and monitored by those who themselves think are superior authorities holding mandate to judge and label. Authorities speak among themselves and forward what they see fit. To rebel against doesn’t take more than to have a different opinion and argue forcefully those who should not be argued. Why are there people who think they cannot be argued? Let me know if you know the answer. What is the absolute truth, what is the absolutely correct way to exist? For women it is clearly more narrow than for men and this unchanging state of affairs cannot be objected and forced to change? How weird is that. It takes decades and lifetimes of work and effort.

Punishments for there is devil in her, punishments against her as she lets her demon to have power over her and ruin her purity and good nature, and more importantly her devil contaminates the society and men. Amazing is how old ways of thinking and behaving stick, how labelling people makes society tic and makes hierarchy where those who have stigma are made to fall unless they have an enormous amount of faith and strength to rise above. To be alone in a hostile environment is what such person must endure wherever one goes. To jump into conclusions about people based on appearance, way to talk and what one chooses to do in life is of course something we are bound to do regardless of whether we try not to judge.

Much of pop culture test our limits of acceptable and toy with our conceptions about proper and stability. To play a bitch, witch, sex goddess, nymphomaniac, addict etc. belongs tightly to culture of idols. This is also what art at its best does. It tests and questions authority and our rules of acceptable. To raise abomination, judgement, scandals, abandon safety and conformity.


Violence is to be escaped if it cannot be controlled and abolished. What else can women and children do when gangs of men see threatening and killing an answer. What is the question? What is the question to be asked as there are no answers other than those already in the air?

Question also is should extreme violence be answered with violence, with as much as we have got to protect those who do not want violence in their and other people’s lives? How do we stop epidemic of growing and expanding gangs and thugs who take over nations after they have taken over neighborhoods and cities? Gunmen and money men who do whatever they need to do to make their views and manners of doing business the only law, make their rules the rules of an entire country because administrators and politicians are corrupt. Nations full of people who have to serve criminals because there is no other choice, criminals who do not stop not even when they are stopped. There is always another one, other one to do the job that was stopped for a moment. Adding to the picture other nations around who have severely contributed to this lunacy along many decades and now refusing to accept immigrants and refugees from countries that clearly do not either want or are not capable of solving crises which last year after year. When there is no culture of democracy to begin with where do we begin? From the alphabet, from the very simple equations that make sense. Infrastructure to making a democratic safe state begins with basic things which are made indestructible, accessible and free. Grassroot first priority must be that there are clear rules which all obey. What is accepted and what is not to understand that there is a nation which needs and wants to make progress. Culture of fast fortune making and taking that fortune with force is too tempting when alternatives are scarce, and obviously punishments do not play any threat in a country where living fast is an ideal.
Clearly violence cannot be answered with violence, clearly, but aggression and death are languages that people speak and breath, straightforward monotonic order of arms, dealers and men. Yes, it is sadly the tongue of men and boys growing to be men since they have to become men who are fearless, merciless, greedy, childish in their needs, fulfilling their needs endlessly thinking that their manhood is majestic absolutely good and it has to be stated with certain kind of masculinity, marks of masculine power, vain bling. Culture of masculine, of macho is one serious threat to stability, health, security, progress, becoming and learning. For a true macho man it is impossible to honor women and children as thinking capable individuals who can have lives of their own, who can also become equal or even superior. Honor is in being a strong independent man who solves problems with silencing, threatening, killing, oppressing, enslaving etc. It is in traditions, religion, family, gender roles, upbringing, schooling, work, a division and putting the man on pedestal because of his gender, because of his role as a penetrating hero who masters his game of power. He is intoxicated by his manly odor and status to whom whores and Madonnas are very separate issues but all the same exploited. What/who is your leader in a free world where bossy men bully being unable of finding any other way to act? When men cannot change how they interact and make the world what hope there is? Actions of macho men are hopeless, totally doomed.

“At the end of July, the OCNF declared a gender violence watch for Mexico State, in which 840 women were murdered between 2010 and 2013 and 1,258 women were found to have disappeared between 2011 and 2012; over half were between the ages of 10 and 17. And though the laws are tough in an effort to combat femicide in the country, the murders are not often investigated as such, a roundabout reflection of the systemic misogyny that creates such astonishing numbers of dead and disappeared.”

People who hate women and say they don’t, what do they do?

People who say women’s movement is futile and not needed anymore obviously do not know what they are talking about. We have achieved all for women and equal peaceful world? Women have all the opportunities men do? They are perceived as men are active, thinking making individuals? Is that right? It should be, but it is not. For some reason in my life such light has not been shining, light of trust in my capabilities. Misogyny and hate are as if they were normal parts of dealing with women and girls, dealing with those sub-beings whose heads hold who knows what. It is as simple as in daily encountering where the wave of suspicion and contempt flourish as it never went away. Sad.

What is in need of change in the end?

Isn’t it a very groundbreaking question, what is there to be changed really in a world of constant tragedy and crisis. How do we evolve in this time of grief and do not torment those who will build the world in the future. Why for example girlhood is in constant crisis is that mostly the world is not for girls, girl is seen weak and girlhood something to grow away from. Girlhood is a crisis because the world around won’t let girls be cherished, won’t let girls think they are worthy and have potential of great amounts. This is crisis of girlhood which is made the crisis for girls, placed upon little shoulders and bodies, burdened with shame that should not be there, not their stigma not their crisis. Shame belongs to those who are grown-ups who own the shame planted in them by macho culture and society. There should be time right now to change this crisis which is intolerable, criminal and horribly wrong making girls think they are lacking something, unworthy as persons, incapable and stupid because of their gender. There is an enormous pressure for people to change something but not so much knowledge of what is in serious need of total change or maybe there is knowledge over what is wrong and a horrible scare that everything would change so dramatically if those changes were to applied fully, unquestionably, truly and humbly. People who are afraid of change and to change are the biggest threat, people who do not admit to their mistakes and think they are absolutely correct.
If you are people with God you let people learn their potential as people. I personally have zero appreciation for women who deny schooling and aims in life for girls and other women. Women who fight against other women are worth less than zero.