When you are born a girl. Don’t u want to b wanted?

Älä pelkää/Don’t be afraid, photocut on wall, 2012

The experience of growing up as a girl is important in becoming a woman, it’s defining. Not only the body parts that you’ll have tell of sex, but female is not a feeling nor an idea that can be artificially built. To have a vagina is not the only thing to have to be female, if it was so simple as operating the outer sexual organs you to change your sex, we’d be very simple organisms indeed and simplicity and functionality is what we as modern humans aim at. We do look at others as appearances and make judgments based on what we see. But we are simple even the thought of it is repulsive. We are very complex (never forget) and that complexity makes us human and beautifully unique on this planet. This is one reason I defend women’s right to be called women not menstruators or bleeders or what other horrid names men have invented to wipe women’s rights and our significance as humans, creators and caretakers out. Mother is much more than just a birthing person. To simplify a person via the act of giving birth, what is that? What motivation there is to simplify a person? They are never good. That is a tale from dystopian world where women are birthing people and that is their sole purpose. What happens via and in women’s bodies is via this new speech making women instrumental, like technicality talk and women should accept it. It is pure objectification as is all plastic surgery and imitation of women, ultra femininity as it is called at its most extremist, a fetish making the doll woman an ideal and call her beautiful is what she wants to hear.

To silence women for speaking out against this nonsense and body fascism, I don’t find it any different from chauvinism, traditionalism and misogyny. It is regressive and abusive. Boycotting women who defend girls’ and women’s rights is the same old and to have this forced upon is to belittle our voices, bodies and minds. Our need for our spaces, safety, our reasoning to be heard and our experiences as more than just bodies are important, they are fought rights and must be protected because they are not self-evident. To be a woman is not celebrated by terms such as cervix-havers and chest-feeders,breast-feeders, it is humiliating to hear females become their body parts only. It is resentful and ugly to even have this kind of fight in contemporary world. Mind you freedom of speech and opinion. I don’t accept delusions for facts and forcing this new ‘education’ on all of us isn’t freedom. It is infantile and vengeful.

As I have experienced it, to be a girl is very different than being a boy. Boys did more exciting things and at some point I was not allowed to participate anymore as I aged out growing breasts and stuff. Boys and girls bully each other which is normal, girls are also sexually harassed by adults. The differences between sexes exist to large extent and massively so, that to minimize it, is foolish and untruthful, like white working class girls’ experiences can be more violent and abusive still in today’s world and nobody notices. Something easily accessible and to discard. When you have no money, you do not have power. Girls are cruel against other girls too. I suppose it is a way of competition and something go through. To be different is the worst thing, but what can you do, adapt or perish? Neither is an option. A girl must be very careful and learn it, it is a tightrope on which a girl learns to balance. One has to learn that you can be groped in broad daylight in the middle of a school yard and that is fun for boys, they do it in groups. They continue this to adulthood and think women don’t know. Some don’t. Grouping is important for most humans, see tribalism. To me it is a sign of weakness, but a group is powerful even (especially) in stupidity. That you can be stalked, you will be checked up as long as you look alright for males by the appearance, pedigree, inheritance, that is all that matters, how you can benefit them. You will be measured by your looks always, that never ends. Your intelligence is under constant scrutiny. It is a way to use power over you, that never ends. Testing you never ends. So how does a girl become empowered? For me the number one thing has been education, the only thing since looks is not that interesting to me in a person, for others it is probably the most interesting thing, as a girl I was shook by this: I am my body and that should empower me. To be beautiful is everything and nothing. So what is me? Who is this person and what is she to become?

Like today you are your body and that is it, it is your measure, it is a message. You become you when you can fix things that bother you in your body. Why things bother people is because of other people. Everything in your body is noticed, cellulite, fat, wrinkles, legs, hips, ass, thighs, lips, hair, neck, skin, breasts, smells, calves, nose and body hair. You can disturb all this by doing the opposite. Freak people out, it is easy for a girl. We should follow instructions and when we don’t we stick out.

As a girl I was more scared and timid, also I was looked at in a different kind of way like I had less potential and I was less important. I guess I had that scared look on my face which made it even worse, me an easy target. So, don’t be scared or don’t show it. We are still animals. And learn to question everything, especially the authority. They don’t like, it is reason enough. To be liked is not a sufficient aim in life. When they find out your potential, the reactions can be primitive. Equality talk is often just that, talk.

Finding potential where there isn’t any, yeah it’s a dead-end, as is pleasing everyone .

Women and swearing/ What is art? Who is an artist?/Misogyny

Women and swearing

Bodies online, pencil on paper, 2015-

Women and swearing

They say swearing does not suit women. If a dick can be put in my mouth, swearing fits there quite perfectly. They say swearing makes women unattractive. To me the most unattractive thing is to tell what I can say. They say for women to swear is unladylike. They say it is not nice and makes women look aggressive. Aggressive is what I want to look like. Do you know why?

Anyone ever wondered what kind of an influence one’s sex, origin and looks have in life in general and in the arts?

I claim they have more significance than anyone cares to admit. Vanity industries do pay attention to the surface much more than I and I am shocked when what I wear is paid more attention to than what kind of art I do or my looks tell what I am capable of (with which I like to play with). How much is it in the interests of the arts to keep stereotypes alive or whose interests are in question all in all, because they are not mine? One can wonder and it is truly weird one has to keep up appearance and act upon one’s appearance. I make this assumption, I should act according to my sex, sex and gender are always an issue, and appearance, because such is my strongest asset? What is the appearance of an artist today, a businessman who functions like a machine, is efficient and more importantly is male? Clichés are so much alive, I wonder the speed of progress. (What progress?) Things that instantly come to your mind when you see someone, what do they tell of you?

BTW, any modelling agency hire 45yrs old? That would be a career change, lol. Oh no, I should lose weight.

Victim or a survivor and why surviving is hard to talk about? We have culture of strength.

The strangest and scariest as surreal repetitious event has been to witness misogyny done by women and how it kind of belongs to the territory of being female that you are hated, despised, suspected and treated like garbage especially if you are young, pretty, talented and have thoughts that challenge existing views, roles and hierarchies. I still look youngish but have looked young and naive, as like I was born with it, so the weird dilemma of not fitting in is a normalcy. This issue is a difficult to talk about without it sounding asking for empathy and being a victim of bullying which the whole not fitting in and weirdo setting is all about. For a blond, thin and childlike which characteristics to many equal mental disability things on level of how people react to you remain surprisingly unchanged. And I for example have began to see this existing position more a strength than weakness. To be on your side because of your genitals is to understand how gender roles function and are for, be on side of women because they are women and women support men because they are men. Do men support women because they are women and therefore worthy of support or do we support people because to support is a human thing to do? Eh, I don’t know. Maybe people support those who they care for, supporting someone supports also you. Gender works for those who fall into such roles effortlessly and think they are a good thing. It has been obvious solidarity can be nonexistent when safety and balance is threatened. Threat is a curious feeling as is fear. Fear of dramatic change is what keeps traditional roles needed and in part they do have a place. Want to guess why? I kind of have my theory. Have you ever been target of gossip? I call it ill talk because something is very wrong in that situation and the main issue is hurt. I have been talked about all my life in a bad sense. To repeat all could be made into a crystal idea: there is something in this person that pushes buttons instantly. It is about the way one looks like, what one does, how one does it and how one is in the world and how well one fits in. To fit in is a compulsory issue. It is clear for those who do not fit in and do the unexpected word goes on, what is the expected? It is a ritual to live and way of telling is there is something wrong with you and those who talk do not like it. Most of gossip is ill and about this problematic nature of humans where safety acceptability and being similar next to a clone is what does not threaten power and self-worth of tiny minds who are scared. I have found this very hurtful, dehumanising and have become neurotic in the way that I should be very aware if I do not please as I should something bad happens. Most hurtful it is when other women see it their issue to slam other women and leave out the stigmatised.


As I see it, it is a normalised way to regulate, isolate, define, rule and be made feel guilty of having done and said something that has broken safety barriers of thought of how women for instance should behave, talk, dress, live etc. This is similar to politics where the ‘enemy’ is demonized beyond anything imaginable to be the arch-enemy and evil on earth. It is no wonder Russia has had the label of the enemy nr 1 in people’s mind. How can I like Russia, someone asked me. There is so much to like about Russia and not to like, as there is in anything. One-sided truth is accepted because it is a machine that keeps the story alive, so much so that truth remains to be uncovered for those who go look for it and they have to dig deeper. Demonising works especially well when the enemy is fairly unknown, does things unconventionally and looks different. The one who speaks of the enemy is somewhat trusted, has authority and is known as legal truth teller knowing what is what, is close by and is verbally as visually convincing. demonizing is a basic tool to hold power, keep things unchanged because those who wish to change anything are labeled bad influences and in any way unfit to manage anything, know anything, are unreliable, rotten, threatening and unsafe to be with and be listened to. Weirdos, freaks, punks, anything that goes beyond the normalised and steady balance.

Demonizing has been used through out all times and works for those who do not know better. Anything and anyone who threatens the order of things and ways to think is often put down by the tool of telling a one-sided view, a scare, the truth, and with help of the mass who believe this given truth it can be the only info there is, only info that must be believed or otherwise you will be labeled as well. What to believe and whom to trust?

Women are and have been, as we all know, ones very fragile and poorly protected what comes to being demonized. It still does not take much rumours, dressing and behaving inappropriately to be targeted and monitored by those who themselves think are superior authorities holding mandate to judge and label. Authorities speak among themselves and forward what they see fit. To rebel against doesn’t take more than to have a different opinion and argue forcefully those who should not be argued. Why are there people who think they cannot be argued? Let me know if you know the answer. What is the absolute truth, what is the absolutely correct way to exist? For women it is clearly more narrow than for men and this unchanging state of affairs cannot be objected and forced to change? How weird is that. It takes decades and lifetimes of work and effort.

Punishments for there is devil in her, punishments against her as she lets her demon to have power over her and ruin her purity and good nature, and more importantly her devil contaminates the society and men. Amazing is how old ways of thinking and behaving stick, how labelling people makes society tic and makes hierarchy where those who have stigma are made to fall unless they have an enormous amount of faith and strength to rise above. To be alone in a hostile environment is what such person must endure wherever one goes. To jump into conclusions about people based on appearance, way to talk and what one chooses to do in life is of course something we are bound to do regardless of whether we try not to judge.

Much of pop culture test our limits of acceptable and toy with our conceptions about proper and stability. To play a bitch, witch, sex goddess, nymphomaniac, addict etc. belongs tightly to culture of idols. This is also what art at its best does. It tests and questions authority and our rules of acceptable. To raise abomination, judgement, scandals, abandon safety and conformity.


To place feminist critique upon feminism itself is very appropriate and needed. How to do it is another matter.

The bashing of contemporary feminism gets nowadays an unchangeable tone or should I say what else is new. It is desperate yet in its despair forceful as it is surreal. For many feminism today is useless. Its points of views illogical, old-fashioned and untrue. It is to tear down institution of family, which as it is now, is a true comfort zone (see the sarcasm). Who would not want children, lawn and. According to men’s rights activists and fascists, to mention just a few, feminists hate men and boys, yes feminists are true haters, they disregard welfare of men and boys considering themselves only, feminism has no base in reality, their goals are unrealistic and disastrous and it, feminism, is an invention of hateful bitches who think they are better than, just to mention few juicy topics and ideas about feminism on Finnish social media.

When feminists start to speak they prove to all how useless and stupid the whole ideology is, they are irrational. What are these women talking about equality, rights and emancipation. All is well, or was before. Women who work for equality and for sexual rights again destroy something meaningful, solid and effort to change this godly state of ours is ruining the perfect welfare state, a nation and heritage, order of things as well as unity in our country. What unity? Country is getting more and more divided, of course, feminists are to blame. Noteworthy is how there must be a group of people to blame for all corruption and decline which would not exist and happen if there were not feminists and the left, women should stay quiet and at home. Let men do what men do without interruptions. What do men do? They are a pretty active lot. All blame falls upon those terrible feminists who destroy the good there is in tradition based patriarchal society, which can solve issues there may be in its own way, which issues are those? Immigrants, intellectuals, critics? We don’t have any issues other than unwanted people. Everything is fine, or was until feminists came. Men’s rights activists can talk about difficult psychological  problems like alcoholism, depression, mental abuse and physical violence, bullying, loneliness, unemployment without women’s rights activists meddling in. Feminism causes disturbance and brokenness. Men truly dislike being underdogs, till the end the fight is against the left. Anybody who is against male dominance is a communist which is bad. It is bad to be a communist. (Yes this is a very rational argument.)

There is a lot of nerve to blame feminists for doing the dissolving of values our country builds on when women’s rights movement has played a huge part in building this country as it is now. Home, religion and Fatherland stay solid, how else, and for some they should stay unchanged and we rooted to them no matter what. It is men who have done all the building. There must be some pussy to bang though.

To tell you that home, religion and Fatherland so far have not been all about equality, creating well-being and prosperity for all and those holy units will change whether you like it or not, they already have. I can say I come from a very sexist culture where men set the boundaries, where femininity is weakness, women aren’t rational but emotional, where gay is a swear word, men are more often listened to over everybody else, they get promoted, their authority and expertise is relied on no matter how poor it is. I have been told how I should dress, have my hair, when to get pregnant, that it is men’s world where I as a woman enter, that I will never make it as an artist, I should choose the easy way, I should not say what I think, I should not object my given role as a woman, my place, I should not think for myself, be critical and I should smile more, my body is constantly under scrutiny, so is my clothing, what I do for a living and will I make a living, to be loud is very unfeminine, so is swearing, still there are jobs that are for men only, odd is to draw porn, my intellect, professional knowledge and abilities are always suspected and undervalued, the ones I must constantly prove and still since I am so difficult and almost non-existent I must be stupid. I am a body without a mind, any demand is whining and complaining, all the wrong I do is many times bigger than when man does the same, men can do whatever because they are men, I must do many times better if I should overcome a man and show I actually can do something well. Culture that does not evolve is a dead culture.

Feminists do this and feminists say that, mostly arguments are based on assumptions, hearsay, bias and worn out repetition which seems to be the old record people are afraid to discard and through away. Need a thumb to suck? To see feminists in bad light is a default deeply rooted in misogyny which hateful look on women pushes aside issues that are important for women. Things that are important to feminists like equal opportunity to healthcare, education, possibilities to use one’s abilities and be good at what one wants, human rights, abolition of child labor, justice, right to seek justice and defend oneself, freedom of speech, possibility to live free and in peace without threat. Constant sexism is a threat, constant suspicion and ridicule are threats and deny dignity and human worth.

Feminists make everything difficult when it could be so easy. It is too easy to kill, bully and torture. What about men then? Do feminists advocate men’s rights, is feminism doing anything for men? What a question one has to answer all the time. Men have been boys. Having been able to attend day care, school, to have balanced life at home, see that mother is well and able to take care of children as well as go to work has been the very result of women’s movement and feminism. Yes women can work else where than at home and aspire careers. People, women and men, have ambitions, talents, dreams, future that hopefully is full of challenging and inspiring work. Especially children, boys and girls, benefit from feminism a great deal. It gives hope that to pursue one’s goals is possible. Wellbeing of mothers results wellbeing of children. Can men’s rights movement say having done the same? It is time for a deep sigh on a good day and on a bad one to shoot every one who puts feminism to dirt just because they don’t like it. Yes it opposes to machismo attitude which has caused trauma and damage to men, women and children, which is almost impossible to escape. Macho is to lock in and keep in captive, incapable to show vulnerability. Still to like feminism sounds like liking a dog, a good dog that wags its tail when you tap its head. Criticism is welcome, for most part it just is not very constructive. To play nice is not how it works or how results have been accomplished. To dislike feminism because of multiple reasons you have invented and believe are true is kind of childish and thinking hitting is what makes it all go away, because feminism and women’s rights movement just is unpleasant, unnecessary and annoying. To hate feminists is to hate progress and human rights. Feminism is raising strong opposition and the threatening atmosphere builds up quite easily between leagues and camps. There is no unison in sight.