Why women drink?

drunk, watercolour, 2021

To be comfortable in your body is an idea where one’s humanness doesn’t give you any sensations of the negative, you just live in bliss of happiness and glide, which sounds really odd as a woman and I have had hard time believing in this nonsense. As a person who has daily highs and lows of anxiety (which I suppose everybody has) and feeling ok occasionally, I have had to learn how to live with a very active emotional life. Explosive temper since childhood for a girl is not celebrated, there is something wrong with you, you are evil and what not, crazy. I have heard I am very zen usually by people who don’t know me, which I have aimed to be on the outside (not to disturb anybody’s peace other than in art), it is not even difficult for me, but I do get angry, which is not allowed for women especially and showing anger, dear Lord, don’t break anything. People can’t tolerate other people’s anxieties not their own and I suppose they should not be this level concerned constantly of anxieties and comfort. Neither can they tolerate a very quiet person, which has made me think, what of others do we not see and think it is not there and how much noise is essential to feel comfortable, although you can’t take it when someone shows anger or just says against your opinion? People are also tested how long does it take to lose temper, well test away. Zen is fun. People get anxiety today when they are still a long time, are isolated for weeks and can’t travel. How human it is to be able to be constantly comfortable is very aristocratic idea, people demand differently today than before? We are used to luxury in comparison to life hundred years ago. (or are they constipated today, but looking fine.) Think about stomach pain and diarrhea or sleeplessness. We medicate everything away and invisible. This goes out for people too who are unpleasant in any way making people feel uncomfortable. Now we should pay attention. The negative is there to make us think and notice, and we think about our own bodies and comfort constantly and nothing is never good enough. The negative like pain, shame, hunger (which we should be feeling more), fear, feeling inadequate, fear of losing etc. do have reasons to exist. Aging, bodily changes and disturbing bulges truly are brushed away as much as possible. How about our weaknesses like narcissism?

How do we make progress in comfort and luxury? I have started to think, we don’t. To make progress we need criticism, push back, hardship, conversation and debate, visible effort and work that one can feel one has done something oneself and made it. This is especially important for women who have been told we may not, can not, should not, must not, definitely not. We are going backwards in many ways, criticism being one part of culture that is dullen down and silenced, violently. Die terf is a common enough phrase online and on the streets. Women’s rights being one issue, education another under serious threat and the speed of degeneration is fast. Firing professors who say biology is biology and sex is a biological fact is against science. Erasing the word woman and thinking surgery fixes men into women and they are real women, is what all should accept just like that, is itself a very totalitarian command and childlike tantrums make everybody scared for their jobs. Talking about safe spaces when women aren’t safe to say true things about their own biology is bizarre to the max. The whole idea is absurd and offensive to women, which is a non-issue today like adulthood seems to be. Women’s feelings and safety do not count when men need to be called real women and how many men there are who defend this? It is ominous, the vulnerable men. Speaking out against lunacy and clear mislabelling, is according to activists, violence against a vulnerable part of population. Vulnerability is one, protecting childish needs is something we need to be doing? Wanting doesn’t get, someone used to say. One cause to all of this is plastic surgery and how it is available around the world. Reality TV giving instructions on how to look and behave and bank on all of this. Our decline is evident. I am glad there are voices who speak against the antifeminist movement of self-ID. People have been identifying as whatever before but they haven’t been taken this seriously before, so seriously that working people get hurt. To be good at heart means you are concerned what happens in the world and for people. This is not a good development.

Comments
strange to be commented by people about my weight who themselves are fat
strange to be commented by people who themselves do not know how to dress well, they just think they do or is it just expensive?
strange to be commented by people who have an alcohol problem about addictions and behaviour of others
strange to be commented by people who clearly are not well in the head but think they are. To think you are well when you are not and you go on hating other people for it.
strange to be commented by people who have issues, the same people are pointing out issues of others like they were any concern of theirs and they have the same issues?
strange to be commented by people who don’t know what they are talking about but still talk
strange to be commented by people who do not know you or better yet have never met you, they heard about you
strange to be commented by people who think they are superior when they in many ways are not, they are superior because of they have never fallen down on a wet grass?
Strange is to care about any of this and

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2016/08/anorexia-breast-binding-and-legitimisation-body-hatred ““Don’t you get it? you yelled back. I will never feel as free as you do, I will never feel as at home in the world. I will never feel as at home in my own skin. That’s just the way it is, and always will be.””

When you are born a girl. Don’t u want to b wanted?

Älä pelkää/Don’t be afraid, photocut on wall, 2012

The experience of growing up as a girl is important in becoming a woman, it’s defining. Not only the body parts that you’ll have tell of sex, but female is not a feeling nor an idea that can be artificially built. To have a vagina is not the only thing to have to be female, if it was so simple as operating the outer sexual organs you to change your sex, we’d be very simple organisms indeed and simplicity and functionality is what we as modern humans aim at. We do look at others as appearances and make judgments based on what we see. But we are simple even the thought of it is repulsive. We are very complex (never forget) and that complexity makes us human and beautifully unique on this planet. This is one reason I defend women’s right to be called women not menstruators or bleeders or what other horrid names men have invented to wipe women’s rights and our significance as humans, creators and caretakers out. Mother is much more than just a birthing person. To simplify a person via the act of giving birth, what is that? What motivation there is to simplify a person? They are never good. That is a tale from dystopian world where women are birthing people and that is their sole purpose. What happens via and in women’s bodies is via this new speech making women instrumental, like technicality talk and women should accept it. It is pure objectification as is all plastic surgery and imitation of women, ultra femininity as it is called at its most extremist, a fetish making the doll woman an ideal and call her beautiful is what she wants to hear.

To silence women for speaking out against this nonsense and body fascism, I don’t find it any different from chauvinism, traditionalism and misogyny. It is regressive and abusive. Boycotting women who defend girls’ and women’s rights is the same old and to have this forced upon is to belittle our voices, bodies and minds. Our need for our spaces, safety, our reasoning to be heard and our experiences as more than just bodies are important, they are fought rights and must be protected because they are not self-evident. To be a woman is not celebrated by terms such as cervix-havers and chest-feeders,breast-feeders, it is humiliating to hear females become their body parts only. It is resentful and ugly to even have this kind of fight in contemporary world. Mind you freedom of speech and opinion. I don’t accept delusions for facts and forcing this new ‘education’ on all of us isn’t freedom. It is infantile and vengeful.

As I have experienced it, to be a girl is very different than being a boy. Boys did more exciting things and at some point I was not allowed to participate anymore as I aged out growing breasts and stuff. Boys and girls bully each other which is normal, girls are also sexually harassed by adults. The differences between sexes exist to large extent and massively so, that to minimize it, is foolish and untruthful, like white working class girls’ experiences can be more violent and abusive still in today’s world and nobody notices. Something easily accessible and to discard. When you have no money, you do not have power. Girls are cruel against other girls too. I suppose it is a way of competition and something go through. To be different is the worst thing, but what can you do, adapt or perish? Neither is an option. A girl must be very careful and learn it, it is a tightrope on which a girl learns to balance. One has to learn that you can be groped in broad daylight in the middle of a school yard and that is fun for boys, they do it in groups. They continue this to adulthood and think women don’t know. Some don’t. Grouping is important for most humans, see tribalism. To me it is a sign of weakness, but a group is powerful even (especially) in stupidity. That you can be stalked, you will be checked up as long as you look alright for males by the appearance, pedigree, inheritance, that is all that matters, how you can benefit them. You will be measured by your looks always, that never ends. Your intelligence is under constant scrutiny. It is a way to use power over you, that never ends. Testing you never ends. So how does a girl become empowered? For me the number one thing has been education, the only thing since looks is not that interesting to me in a person, for others it is probably the most interesting thing, as a girl I was shook by this: I am my body and that should empower me. To be beautiful is everything and nothing. So what is me? Who is this person and what is she to become?

Like today you are your body and that is it, it is your measure, it is a message. You become you when you can fix things that bother you in your body. Why things bother people is because of other people. Everything in your body is noticed, cellulite, fat, wrinkles, legs, hips, ass, thighs, lips, hair, neck, skin, breasts, smells, calves, nose and body hair. You can disturb all this by doing the opposite. Freak people out, it is easy for a girl. We should follow instructions and when we don’t we stick out.

As a girl I was more scared and timid, also I was looked at in a different kind of way like I had less potential and I was less important. I guess I had that scared look on my face which made it even worse, me an easy target. So, don’t be scared or don’t show it. We are still animals. And learn to question everything, especially the authority. They don’t like, it is reason enough. To be liked is not a sufficient aim in life. When they find out your potential, the reactions can be primitive. Equality talk is often just that, talk.

Finding potential where there isn’t any, yeah it’s a dead-end, as is pleasing everyone .

The Suprerum set of Numbers – Human the Beast and the Need for Love part 2: To exist, to perish, it has existed, we exist, they perished. A Questionnaire of What. 2013. What do microchips and rape have in common? It’s weird 2021.

This is a test. This is a wound and how it was made. The unhealing of open flesh.
How everything happens, everything – saying out loud is tiring, the all and what we know about it what is around us and why it happens as it does. Not a break, not a sigh or time to rest, but observe and know more and think how one changes and absorbs. There is no time to stop. This is to understand what I know or think I know, what there is to know.

About microchip. Varietās Ingeniosus, paradigm of varietas, variety. Where is it? What about it? Where do we have them and why? What kind of information does it entail and collect? Who knows about microchips and what they do? I have heard about it. How can it be used against us? Is it so that it can be hacked? And what does that mean especially for consumers, equipment owners, in the means of privacy. Is there privacy anymore? How are we monitored? Spied, looked at, laughed at, called slaves, zombies, what else, whores. Who is the hacker and what are the reasons to hack?

”By definition the integrated circuit aka microchip is a set of interconnected electronic components such as transistors and resistors, that are etched or imprinted on onto a tiny chip of a semiconducting material, such as silicon or germanium.” http://inventors.about.com/od/computersandinternet/a/microchip.htm

”Microchips, also known as integrated circuits, are the little pieces of semi-conductive material that make most of your information-storing electronics tick. Without them, the computer would not have gone past the level of being a simple calculator. Microchips have made it possible to turn electricity into information. The large amount of transistors contained inside them signal “on” and “off” states which can represent a zero or a one in binary language. Integrated circuits in microchips can be structured in a way that can make a computer not only store information but process it. Microprocessors are microchips that allow computers to “think.” They are basically small chips that execute commands and perform actions based on the input that is given.”

”The microchip might be the single most important invention of the twentieth century. Ironically, it took a relatively young scientist who could not take time off work to perfect the microchip in his downtime. The applications of the microchip are almost too many to name, and suffice it to say, the current world cannot function without it. According to ASME, microchips will only get smaller and powerful. In addition to increased processing power for software applications, computer chips will eventually also have “artificial intelligence,” responding to touch and even holding conversations. The National Academy of Engineering believes that microchips will be small enough to install in humans to monitor health. The development of the microchip has led to losses and gains. Transport and communication costs have fallen and the financial services sector has prospered, but farming has suffered. Overall, however, employment has increased.”

Read more: Technological Importance of the Microchip | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/facts_7326740_technological-importance-microchip.html#ixzz2MU6Y0df0 Read more: What are Microchips Used In? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5683133_microchips-used-in_.html#ixzz2MU6CU6n6

“The year 2000 problem known as the Y2K problem and the millennium bug was the most important thing on most companies minds in 1999. Critical industries (such as electricity or financial) and government functions could stop working at 12:00 AM, January 1, 2000. This fear was fueled by the press coverage and other media speculation, as well as corporate and government reports. All over the world companies and organizations checked and upgraded their computer systems.” http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/electronics.html

and Why

1. The Transistor ( The creation of the transistor provided a tool using the power of electricity to make an ON/ OFF Digital Switch , which is the basis for nearly every advance we use today.)

The use, to use, utilize, make things happen, what things? Mobilize us, make our lives faster, things in our lives to happen rapidly, information to pass forward, to let know. Knowledge and how far we drift from it. What is important to know, what we need to know and want to know. There are people who don’t want to hear about the bad in life, let’s concentrate on the happy things and have a cup of coffee. The easiness of not knowing. To turn one’s back to the pile of thrash. I haven’t seen the struggling and pain, it does not exist in my world. Is that how it goes or is it a different kind of struggling and pain. How do you suffer? How to measure the amount of one individual pain? What creates pain? Is it the shame of not knowing? The opposite of pleasure. How much pain can a person take, like when tortured? Sure, ache is different with different reasons. Some take more than others. What causes ache in people’s lives? Why is life so full of pain caused by hurt suckers and motherfuckers? To kill, to murder, we want to see murder. We want to see suffering to ease our own hurt. To see fear on someone’s face and laugh at it. I’m glad it was not me. To that person who is afraid. Why is causing pain like a machine? What is the machinery in us that ticks. So far it is not by corporations. It is machine-like activity that is fairly easy to guess. How certain kind of people think and act, in which social level, with whom are you seen with. The rules and hierarchies moving people and their mind tick like clocks. One cannot make a mistake once you know the patterns how. It is dangerous to see through. Unavoidable, unescapable quality of human life, suffering and how people survive and learn. If you suffer you must make the other suffer too. Could you learn away from that feeling and need to revenge? To let know how one feels inside. A circle that never stops. Revenge, ignorance, selfishness make people function and create hate, war, famine, death and poverty. It is to blame human nature and it cannot be changed, shit happens? That is how it looks.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pain

But, there is good in people, I still believe..so why the destruction? That would be a true revolution for people to thoroughly understand how to treat each other in a respectful way. What ways cause happiness and which means hurt? To learn that and unlearn the negative, or learn from it. Why hurt? What is the meaning of hurt in human life as a basic tool? For who is it meaningful and how? Pain, suffering, killing, violence are used to subject, slave, oppress, to dominate, rule, deliberately cause violence and death. Hurt to live, to feel superior, to have power, to feel big, is it a matter of size, dominance, to own, to have, to have something to say, to prove one’s worth. What kind of person uses violence to make a point? It is seen as a male quality, but women are as violent, the ways to be violent may differ. People are a creative species. I am repeating myself. I don’t care.Varietās Ingeniosus, paradigm of varietas, variety. How not to make this complexity only two-dimensional or one-sided, flat object to discard from the car window to vanish by roadside. Let the multiplicity multiply and flourish. Could you. But it is like a jungle out here. Freaking scary! So sick, to live and perish, vanish without a trace to space. Or to leave garbage behind and drive away.

Not completely other matter is to penetrate someone. It was seen by some radical hard-core badass feminists as a violent act, as rape. So, to enjoy sex is an impossibility by this idea. Fanatic approach can get bit too much, too far-fetched. Or how should sex be like then? Caresses, kisses, sighs, arrayed on a continuum from liberal to radical. Liberal views tend to regard rape as a gender-neutral assault on individual autonomy, likening it to other forms of assault and/or illegitimate appropriation, and focusing primarily on the harm that rape does to individual victims (what?). More radical views, in contrast, contend that rape must be recognized and understood as an important pillar of patriarchy. Johnson defines patriarchy as a social system in which men disproportionately occupy positions of power and authority, central norms and values are associated with manhood and masculinity (which in turn are defined in terms of dominance and control), and men are the primary focus of attention in most cultural spaces (2005, 4-15). Radical feminists see rape as arising from patriarchal constructions of gender and sexuality within the context of broader systems of male power, and emphasize the harm that rape does to women as a group.

In addition, radical feminist approaches to rape often share one or more of the following three features. First, they regard the deprivation of women’s bodily sovereignty―in particular, male control over the sexual and reproductive uses of women’s bodies―as a central defining element of patriarchy (Whisnant 2007). As a result, they analyze rape as one of multiple forms of men’s sexual violence and exploitation, looking at their interconnections and how they work in concert to maintain and reinforce women’s oppression. Second, they expand the definition of ‘rape’ to encompass more than just overt physical force and violence (or the explicit threat thereof). Recognizing the ways in which broad patterns of male power systematically compromise women’s bodily and sexual freedom, and challenging the equation of female submission with meaningful consent, they tend to see a kind of continuum (rather than a bright dividing line) between rape and much “normal” heterosexual activity. Third, the focus on group-based oppression has also led many radical feminist thinkers to examine the role of rape itself, and of ideologies about rape, in creating and reproducing not only patriarchy but multiple systems of domination, including racism and colonialism.” http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/feminism-rape/

Ideologies of rape? People being raped to state a position, to show superiority, to state superiority. Power over someone requires penetration, abuse. Shows ability. What kind of ability is that? How able are we in destruction, capable of fucking off and lolling. How radical should Feminism get? As radical as is needed to make a change, because at the moment our way of life is merely intolerable abuse of nature and people. And will Feminism change anything? It already has changed a great

tenderness, wheel ok. I guess it would satisfy. ”Feminist views of rape can be understood as

deal. Women who have taken extreme measures have done something good for the mankind. For the kind man and the unkind. As women being the inferior sex Feminism has a lot of potential. It is a state of war. Unfortunately. Feminists do it in non-violent ways. Yes, the stereotyped picture of a Feminist may hurt the cause of feminism for a little while. Burdens are elsewhere, not on Feminist shoulders, because we are free of fear, Unlike many others. activism cannot stay unchanged or care what will happen to me if I do this. The dividing factors between sexes and how they are made and why, men versus women, poor vs. rich, black and white, which doesn’t make it easy to promote the cause. Stereotypes are built strongly in the structures of our minds, traditions, ways of life, sexes and societies.

As men can be Feminists, if they choose to, will they? It seems unlikely. Would it be too much for a macho to accept an ideology with Femi- in it? To stand for ideas held by feminism, those strange feminists. There is something scary about them. You bet. Mostly people should be extremely scared of themselves. Can men accept female in them? What kind of revolution would that be? That is a different world all together. The overwhelming masculinity has taken over, we have chosen to perish. continuity is what people seek for on the level of cells, jobs, economy, DNA and I wanna see my kids grow. Thinking you are perfection and want your children to follow your ideals as healthy and sane individuals, adults, avoiding shaming your name. To continue name, family, honour, ownership, integrity, what else..stories, family heritage and photographs. That is all good. It is something that has a brought tons of weight in my life for many different reasons and now I refuse to take it. And no it has not been very enjoyable here so far. To have a good life, be a good wife. I don’t think so. Gigantic load of tradition given by one’s family (if one wants to take it), not to mention one’s genetics. Bah Hah! What is this thing called Humanity? To be me, and them, and to those who were. We’ll see. Or better yet, it is in front of us already, the mountain of filth.

This is a test. This is a wound and how it was made. The unhealing of open flesh.
How everything happens, everything – saying out loud is tiring, the all and what we know about it what is around us and why it happens as it does. Not a break, not a sigh or time to rest, but observe and know more and think how one changes and absorbs. There is no time to stop. This is to understand what I know or think I know, what there is to know.

This is calculating the possibilities of survival during and after. Probability of survival estimated is like planning a trip to. Asking stupid questions, questioning stupidity, which is thinking of knowing but still not knowing much. I’m trying to comprehend like everybody else the goals of the Western world as a Westerner and female. Western heritage is about knowing the truth, what is right, being on the side of facts and what is good. It is the heritage of Christianity and science, history of conquerors and winners. To rule as a white male, a meat-eating hero, the conqueror who thinks that rabbits eat vegetables, well they do. Is it to say you are better than the rabbits, because it doesn’t show. How you evolve tells how good you are, not what you think you should be and stay that way thinking this is the best there is. Do I have the same goals, the same direction as everybody else? Which strange goal I’m part of, where does it go and what is it, this goal of ours, this conqueror we still desire to be, where do we want to go, this set of systems we have created. I am a living system in this set of systems, we are bunch of systems systematically and without a clue trying to calculate the ways to manage, but not knowing, shooting in the dark. Systems that aren’t serving humanity and nature, but destroying them but still making something totally new. Is it possible to get rid of systems that we have created and build new ones? Dependency on money, vehicles, machines, electricity, food supply, media is shrinking our minds. Could we live without this regime or some of them? It is a question of what we want life to be. How we want to live it. Fast, hedonist, proud, ambitious, do we have to give up everything of that wealth we have made to save ourselves and others. What do we essentially need? What are human needs?

To go, to move, to travel. What is the happening happening. What is up? What is up there? What is down here? What is the ultimate want? What is the desire, lust, need, yearning. There is something. There is something here, but what, I touch the back of my hand. The reality. It is flesh. It is the skin. How to make it work? It works by itself, I don’t have to think about it, unless there is a malfunction. There is something disturbing about the normal routine of daily function. There is a way I don’t like, I don’t want, the destruction and hurt. Hunger and poverty. I oppose. It hurts my vulnerability. It hurts my sense of justice. How vulnerable am I? Very. I would not survive without water. Do I survive without love? Yes, but it makes you see things in a strange light. There is something truthful and honest in total lack of love. For me it has been the image of man for which I have no trust whatsoever. It is a sad picture. Horrid in its plain abandonment, contempt and narcissism. How do I make myself vulnerable? How much more vulnerable can one be as I am? I can be easily destroyed and I don’t doubt one bit the abilities of people to just do that. It is what they do best. How much am I willing to do and sacrifice for others? Getting the satisfaction and knowledge, I have tried to make things better, not just talked about it. How much is good to be sensitive, open to be hurt. Who wants to hurt and why? To hurt so that I bleed. What really is to get hurt? Is it guilt, shame in front of everybody? Is it being born unwanted? Is it being sold to prostitution, gang raped, killed, mutilated, destroyed as a worthless cunt. Yes that resonates with pain and that pain is justified because women are dirty, evil, subhuman, beneath capable and worthy, that pain is justified, unfelt.

I’m lucky in many ways, I have an obligation to make a change, to work for the change, because I’m sick of the news. That is a reason to live, to make the future look brighter. And how will that happen? What can I do? That is a Billion Dollar question. Or well, these questions are free of charge. My feelings at the moment, loath, disgust, anger and raged in front of massacres and pain unimaginable.

What is it like to have a vagina? How much is it worth? It is obviously question of worth and penetration. How much does a cunt cost? What kind of question is that? I think it is quite a normal routine thing to go through, no? The value of one’s genitals, what do you do with them, what does it do to you, how your genitals are you. What is vagina like? Is there a model vagina because they are all different? There is this porno-industry cunt that has become fashionable as women and young girls have an operation to change their healthy, normal flower-like genitalia into hairless porno star vaginas. A plastic surgeon removes part of vagina to make it look better for men to see, aesthetic. It is not known if this operation takes also the female pleasure away, but who cares about female pleasure. Is it ok to talk about genitals, right? Isn’t it the most wanted possession, a virgin vagina, not penetrated, untouched, tight and pure. There are millions of girls that are unwanted because of their sex or wanted only as one thing, for one thing. They are unworthy and put to work at a very young age, or parents don’t want girls, girls are a burden, they abort the fetus. Woman is a commodity as a sex tool. This has Nothing to do with simplicity though it may seem so. Simplicity is not human quality, we are very complex. Filled with complexes, but we want to simplify things and life since it is easier to be the man in a simplified world. But it does not suit me. I don’t want to live in such a world.

It is a way to survive in a male dominated world, where lack of sex seems to be an issue, to sell sex is therefore very logical. Lack of a hole to penetrate, to invade, to intrude, to have for pleasure. Blind sexual desire needs to be filled, satisfied like hunger, it is a basic need. After multiple orgasms, myriad pleasure, when woman is used, wasted, won, put to shame, the partner, the cunt owning man is the conqueror, conceiver, operator, maker.

The one who was penetrated is nothing but the bearer of quilt. Objectified, killed as a person, a slave, animal, garbage. There are others, better ones. Go and get them. They are willing, always, because they have to make it. How To understand the depth of contempt against femininity, women, vagina and women’s rights. It is difficult, because it is also in women. The Hate against women is so visible, how can’t you see it or do anything about it. Women have contempt against each other. They are rivals, envy keeps us going and it establishes our social hierarchies to winners and losers, if you like such games. Women diminish themselves so easily, like it is a place made for them, us, me and it looks as if could not be changed. That is because we are under a threat. Loath against women has a long history that continues still, history of rape, being owned by men and being measured as a commodity to be sold and used. We are selling ourselves cheap. What is a cunt worth? I am not worthy as a human being, is the message. This has been the message since I was a child and it had something to do with my sex. I know this sounds appalling and untrue, in a modern country like Finland. We are not as equal and free as we think we are. How to be free? What is freedom?

To be a woman is an obstacle, woman does things wrong in a womanly manner. There is something wrong. Womanly manner is slow, soft, maybe insecure, what is said is softened by laughter. Looking for acceptance, protection and safety. Women seen through what they do wrong, how they are wrong, how they should be, and what happens to women who are not the way they should be. This goes for men too, but especially women are targeted, looked at, a body, hair, breasts, ass and vagina, clothes. Shaming, calling names, disrespectful behavior, which starts from early age, which is learned: How to be a woman. What is a woman? One learns the ways of sex from early age, learns to belong to a sex and its codes. Women have long hair, it is feminine. Boys don’t play with dolls. These were some of the gender rules that were told without hesitation. That’s how it is. When I was young. Women like pink, pink fantasies, fairies. Everything in life goes around sex, the dos and don’ts. We are very strictly regulated, even if we think we are not. We begin to censor ourselves and each other, censor what is said, done, written, acted, behaved, worn, studied, lived, read, watched. The test is how one manages in this kind of life, in systematic ruling run by capitalistic/neoliberal playing played by us as sexes.

Heaven above, and ours, Hell right here, after Dorian Lynskey, History of protest songs, 33 revolutions per minute. 2010 /When is revolution, irrational right and wrong, essays and poems, 2014/Is female body a commodity?2020

”Oh, I ain’t a Communist necessarily, but I’ve been in the red all my life.” 
”Work and pray, live on hay/ You’ll get pie in the sky when you die” The Preacher and The Slave, 1911
The Red Song Book 1932The Socialist Rebel Song Book 1934Negro Songs of Protest 1936 

Political message put into the arena of entertainment, books I can imagine in my hand, small, worn out with yellowish smelly pages, the ongoing rebellion, ongoing inspiration of coal miners, their wives, copper miners, their wives, textile workers, their husbands, inspired by Woody Guthrie, This Land Is your Land, 1944. ”I am out to sing songs that will prove to you that this is your world..that make you take pride in yourself and your work” Woody Guthrie’s mission statement which he read on the radio 1944 in his weekly show on New York’s WNEW. 

This is a kind of Poem, this is a kind of scribbles, I end up seeing the same thing, a pattern, but I cannot put my finger on it 

Failed to quicken the pulse, Ella May Wiggins who was shot dead during the Gastonia textile strike 1929, hero of the left. Message belonged to whoever stuck a flag on it. And increasingly the flag was red. Leftist intellectuals were in love, most of all, with the idea of a common man. Sometimes he drank, he fought, even shot his woman down. There was nothing ennobling about it. Music of rumors, dreams, ghost stories and whispers in the night. 

Dust can’t kill me, beneath the cover of bad grammar, misspellings, Okie vernacular, which would come in handy in darker times. 

It had not rained in four years bitter but exhilarating like biting into a lemon. To know about Confucius, did he know more about hypocrisy than he did about nature of American society. 

Something fishy for robbing her off her lightness mixed with serrated glass day and night
it was when she discovered heroin in 1940s, and commenced slow dying, scourging hypocrisy 

from sea to ocean from sea to shining sea aw­-shucks, ionization of a affectionately common man. 

Full of bad luck and violent ends. Violent beginnings, startling start, I took these words from this book I found added them here next to my words. I gave words back to you. You do what you can with them. 

What has happened before, what happens now to a worker? Is he/she called a worker anymore, the proletarian, or is it employee, staff, laborer. We have short history of couple of industrial revolutions during which many other kinds of revolutions have taken place. Couple of which have been Feminist. Suffrage ­movement, sexual revolution, inventions of contraception, women’s right to study, abortion, divorce, go to work and have a career. Women’s rights to their bodies are still under questioning, which makes me wonder why. Why female body is the main object of terror and a possession of man? We are still fighting for human rights to happen on many levels. But all in all, women’s rights have taken big steps forwards globally during couple of decades, lots is still to be done. It astonishes me how heavy the battle is. 

You do not have power

You do not have power

I am nothing.
I have nothing.
I come from nothing.
I know nothing.
I was born yesterday.
Tomorrow I will be born yesterday.
This is something I struggle to understand.
I am defined by others.
I can’t define myself. 
I do not understand. 
I am so young.
I am so silent.
Wet behind my ears, naked in front of everybody, puzzled.
Reason for my existence is this:
act childlike, be helpless, speak with soft voice, smile, be kind.
Don’t have lots of sex with men, don’t think you can have lots of sex with men, but be willing. Don’t show your pain, don’t talk about your pain. Tell what has happened to you, don’t tell what has happened to you. Don’t wander around, don’t look for knowledge, don’t think you have got talent, don’t think you are special, don’t think you are rational.

What is a proper laughter for women? Hold your hand in front of your mouth? Be timid. Women shouldn’t laugh loudly like hyenas, like monkeys, like donkeys even though they are subhuman. Don’t look untended, don’t look unfinished even though you are unfinished. Don’t lift heavy objects, don’t do dirty work, don’t do men’s work, you are not capable. Don’t wear revealing clothing, but be naked, because you are, we see you. Don’t be better than men, keep your composure, keep calm, keep the look, keep smiling. Don’t speak up, don’t speak out. Don’t speak against, don’t contradict. Don’t show long face, don’t show discontent, don’t complain, criticize, but not too much, we don’t want to hear it. Don’t swear, don’t act manly, don’t walk manly, don’t sit manly. Don’t get drunk. Don’t be humorless, don’t be uptight, don’t disagree, don’t be a bitch. Don’t think you have power.

Who is a feminist? Is a backstabber and a gossiper a feminist, someone who puts other women down deliberately? Definitely not.

People can say of themselves and of others all sorts of things, that is how we form and shape groups, usually it is talk for themselves to look better than someone else or just themselves talking, so it is not unimportant what anyone says. Having a position where you can put someone down just because you can makes your person and feminism look rather strange or Christianity or whatever good doer belief, doctrine, ideology etc. you may have labelled yourself with. Talking about equality and human rights, what is talked about someone in the world of humans matters, that is why gossip is a very much used weapon against anyone. You feel bad and you share it, create an image of someone and of you. Gossiping is done by men and women equally, it hurts both. There aren’t many ways to make it better or benefit the one who is gossiped about as you know boxing something that has been unboxed is very difficult, only the case of making a living out of gossip is taking power back or making art of it. Point of gossiping is power play and it is ruthless, violent, a horrible way of constructing groups and leaving someone out, creating an image of someone. This is what adults do, this is what children do and the gossiper really believes in her or his superiority and that the poor sucker must be humiliated the one who is the target, who is flawed, weird, different in any way. Humiliation is the key, need to humiliate seems to be deep in us. It just makes me wonder how powerless people feel they are to have this kinds of ways of battle.

The case of feminism in terms of grouping and the feminist here is to support the powerless, which women still in many ways are. When you think you are a feminist you do not exploit, humiliate, leave out, put down other women, any woman, and believe me, among women it is a blood sport to humiliate and leave out. It seems to come very naturally… Feminism is not action and talk within your selected group of people which you cultivate in safety of your selected group comfortably. This brings a question of what is feminism in every day, how is it practiced? What does it mean to be human to another person? How vile and vicious can you be can be an interesting test are you that person? What does that make of you, one must ask? An antifeminist.

Juoru

Feminism an ideology and movement, a striving force and necessity in making global revolution of equality (or it used to be, what is it now?). My philosophical, ethical and ideological ground. Perspectives into making wise revolution: what does it mean.

2.1 Introduction
2.2 Division, separation, segregation, mutilation, denial, hate, abundance, abandonment.
2.3 Movement, theory and action.
2.4 Unity what could it be?

2.1 Introduction
We, fundamentally biological beings (I’m trying not to be hugely banal about the characterisation of us and biology, us as a species, genders etc., characteristics of what comes to being human as biologically determined form and shape, organic and changing. As we know it, us and nature, which we know, is what often happens, we think we now), are dictated by random events that happen (welfare state is to make the impact of randomness of life less hurtful and cruel, right? Nations are for humans to survive and thrive, not the opposite.) Our lives are up to a point very random still, not to mention the environment and hormones (funny combination but essential); our chemistry and what it makes us feel and do, is a big part of us and our world as is our anatomy, our biological functions, thoughts and needs etc. There are lots of things that dictate us, we just don’t like to admit it as we are not in control, we can be prepared to that hard fact. We like it to look like we are in control and build the structure of control, to control others and have control, things organised, having things done and having made it, give us the power feeling. We know what we are doing. I’m interested in how much power is an illusion and what is power in terms of self-discovery, living and doing in relation to others. Denying biology is the ‘new’ way of empowerment and it is the you can be what you want-ideology, which is a wild thought, thought that we have the ultimate control or want to have control on every aspect there is to being human because we so desire. This issue has come up with transgenderism and in bringing up children, sculpting one’s body to match the inner feelings and desires completely or images seen: this is what I want for me. How it seems to me is this, where we are headed to, towards the utopia of complete control of our bodies and our destiny especially thinking what makes one happy and what we are in the eyes of those who look at us. Feminism has a lot to say about this, lot to say about competition, competing and how opportunities stay open for all that we can make an effort to make it.

Meaning of biology for us is the inseparable and something to dive into constantly which has interested me as an artist: as it does not end, how much part of nature are we and dependable of it, as bodies and minds, to speak of this sounds naive, how come? Without nature there is no us but we like to move away from nature like we were standing on it, as we have no control over it we make shields. Nature is far away as it is the unknown eventful place, in part and for many for most parts we like to be unconnected to this beast we profit from. Nature does not connect with us in suitable, comfortable manner but affects and looks like as a disaster area with which we are ill-prepared to cope which always is a big mistake as we do not know what is ahead of us. Some survive, some don’t. Biology is the unacceptable as it does not do what we want, it eats us. Does this mean we are being alienated from nature completely because it is the easy solution to staying young and good-looking forever and that is what we should want to be powerful? In the making of us there is something I have been wondering what is it all about, what is the making. The very foundation of feminism is that we are equal and we should have equal opportunities as humans but what this means in action and every day is the interesting part and how feminism puts the case of equality forward today in terms of class, ethnicity, origin, looks, wealth, status, work, occupation, education, opinions, in terms of all things that make us different form each other and what does equal mean as we all want and desire to make something of ourselves which brings in the power relation aspect. Equality is a massive task, how it is implemented and understood, it sounds good. Equality, just to say the word is a weird thing and many think as such it is a naive one. What kind of relationship we have with this biology we are born in to, how does biology shape our chances equality-wise is a major issue and can it be altered is the hard question. How we accept ourselves and others, what is the route to acceptance and what we must accept and what not.

Nature has made it we differ much from each other, but we bleed when we hurt. What is equality required and possible in our differences? Living beings share vivid emotional and sensual world which lead us to thinking what separates and unites us. Gender and sex do not dictate intellect, abilities, character nor worth is the feminist idea and good human sense; what do they dictate? Feminism the ideology is to benefit all on grass root level and having choices not to be dictated, monitored and policed. We are more or less feminine, we all have a mother, we all have a relationship to femininity through bodily features still the feminine is under constant attack. Women are the foundation of any society. When women are well taken care of all society is likely to do the same, be and do well. When it is acceptable for a man to walk like a woman, talk like a woman and wear a dress without it being strange we have come closer to gender equality. When a woman can define her femininity, rule her body, sexuality, decide for her life, we are closer to justice and truth. Feminism is diminished down by many men and women as not needed and dead old-­fashioned movement, laughable and unnecessary. If women are not able to have a say over how society should work, as is the case in many countries, then society is not working for all of its members. If women are laughed at because of their sex and because it is seen weak, if they have to be ashamed of their sexuality, if they have to be afraid because they are women, it is a sorry world. If men have to be afraid of female qualities in them we live by macho dream not what is true. What is feminism now is the first and acute question. Who can be and is a feminist? What are the results of feminism and how can it accomplish needed social and cultural changes? Impact of feminism is already all over and pretty fundamental but not yet enough. It is important in this issue at hand to know whether to take a side or not, and on which one side violent gender division exists and is held tightly upon us. Decisions on what to think, how to react, how to judge and whether to judge at all. Gender is by rule problematic, always current and touchy topic where assumptions and given orders apply like an ancient legislation. Society where anything differing from mainstream is an oddity that should be covered up, silenced and removed as indecent and infernal is not living

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the 21st century nor being on the nerve of things nor wanting equality at all. Sex, gender and sexuality are the most used tools of control. Identity and division are structured and ordered by our traditions. We seek to be accepted, desirable, wake attention, maybe make provocation to make ourselves and be seen. Sexuality is denied as damaging, corrupt, perverted, animal, uncontrollable, destructive force which women hold and use to destroy men, society and themselves. There are tight rules how to be a sexual human being and how to be a good human being. Sex is a taboo to be dealt with not out in the open although it is all over and nothing like ordinary. Still when one glances ads anywhere, music videos and movies anything entertainment industry produces for us to hear and see sexuality is there in the main role and in the very much learned way. It is a way to look, make statement, do business hypnotizing us and our thinking. It is way of selling using our basic needs, fears and prohibitions. We live with sex industry (like it or not) and by which rules business provides guessing what it is people desire and want and it is simple. What do we dream about in high-tech information society consuming, being entertained, sexuality making life a psychological sadistic game at worst. Disapproval and talk make controversy, breaking moral codes make headlines. What is it now, nipples, butt crack breaking the internet, look at the size of it, oh tits. The more we disapprove morals of someone the more controversial the issue gets the more fuel there is to be poured, bigger and bigger when nothing is enough. Press disapproving a racy pop artist’s performance giving her performance lots of space and media coverage, good for her and her manager. Is it disapproving or advertising and also good for the media company? What happens to journalism or us? Middle-­aged women disapproving how young girls walk and dress. Is it regret or concern? What are we concerned about, what do we regret and what do we make of the idea of a young girl and her sexuality, is it a possession and an asset for that girl?

What is behind disapproval is a moral behavior code, gender assumptions, traditions, what is good to do in life and why and who gets to decide. Intolerance, ignorance, religion, narrow­mindedness, worry over corruption of morals, desire to hinder change, fear what one is and showing it and plain fear for the unknown. For many sexuality is the great fright and truly an unknown island. It also makes me wonder why continuously so? Why the big mystery, fear, ridicule, shame and hiding? We desire to be sexually interesting. Most everybody thinks about sex and hopefully has sex. The most controlled sexual being is woman, her pleasure is dangerous. She cannot have it, because it is sinful, impure and evil.

2.2 Division, separation, segregation, mutilation, denial, hate, abundance, abandonment.

World as a whole is very much divided into ideological camps and bunkers which fight each other. People do not either wish to comprehend each other or simply don’t comprehend due to many often irrational reasons dividing us. How that other is thinking and feeling can

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be a huge task to take into consideration and have interest over. There has to be a strong ideology and movement to defend those who are repeatedly beaten down. Something to call mine because it is personal, political and repetitious. Behavior and patterns which are not stopping until they are stopped. It is a demand and fight for human rights to happen for women, children and men, for indigenous people and other beings. Those who are persecuted because of their gender, ethnicity, background, religion, sexual orientation, disability, difference of any kind and to defend those who cannot defend themselves. In this regard feminism is not a cause for women only ideology and movement with strong barriers around although it is accused of this, rightly so. Camps fighting within feminism is the norm. Women contribute much in welfare in all society starting from home and neighborhoods. Feminism is a necessity and vital opposition against tyranny of corporations and traditions which are creating illusions of perfection and what is right. Feminism is opposition to tyranny of man, tyranny of people as products, against objectification, against one-sided views on color, size, ideologies, values, against tyranny and castles of finance and irrational despotic decision-­making. Women are and have been enslaved to the illusion of perfection, an image in our brain of what woman is, is manipulative, created to eliminate difference, clone personalities, pleasure giving machines and thinking security is found through being desirable. In addition to that women are caretakers, providers, producers of new people biologically, socially, culturally and traditionally. In this sense manipulation is harsh practice, cruel and unjust. Educating girls in to their roles as females, girls, future women, persons and people begin from very young age. We are taught to know, what is our part via our sex. Somebody else knowing what anybody’s place is and meaning in this life is the root of inequality and injustice.

A practice of likable personality is a kind of survivalist plan within patriarchal society. Practices of girliness, manhood and womanhood are to set roles, find security, a heterosexual practice of servitude, obedience and slavery. Woman is foremost a sexual being whose sexuality must be controlled, whose body is a possession and is either holy or cursed, disrespected and impure. Holy only when she does what is expected of her, is agreeable and nice. Situation is such for millions and millions of women. The way out is a hard struggle. Women who do not have a choice but to breed, feed and protect their honor which is also honor of man and family. There are tasks in society given to women on grounds of natural and on grounds of how things have been done before. How women should look like, what are feminine features and things to do. The whole gender issue should be addressed in technological language as women are much seen as objects and machines who are less than. Place of woman falls on her systematically and orderly without much questioning and without many wanting to change that pattern as it is suitable. This is how a factory functions, orderly producing brainwashed products where workers do not have a say. Case in many countries is that women have the part of reproduction and serving, which is fine if it is voluntarily chosen path in someone’s

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life. Why such control over women is still possible? How the kind of social factory has place anymore? Why woman needs to be put into a position of a dog and why women stay in that given place and when situation changes new problems emerge as men don’t keep up with women? Choices provided by society play a big part in how women manage to solve their lives. Fear of violence, death and abandonment are reasons enough to settle to what other people want. Women who want to decide for themselves to provide for themselves can end up alone. For an uneducated woman it can be a challenge and scary situation to find oneself struggling in a dead-­end. What options are there, how strong are we in this kind of situation or prepared? Religions are dictating position and tasks of women and do not give women power in their lives and let them have bodies of theirs. Women cannot have themselves, especially not themselves. What is the soul of women? By denial and placing fear of punishment religions acknowledge female power within her proving of being afraid of her power. Keeping women uneducated and unaware of their power is a way to rule, but it is also way to keep society from evolving and stopping all people from finding what they could do and express. What she can do with her body and mind is too much to handle. Question is who is not able to control oneself? Maybe chaos and disorder will follow, maybe something no one else hasn’t thought and done before. Interesting is how the feminine and feminine desire realize themselves in this negative, because they are there. Prohibition of expression, suppressed individuality and contempt for the natural sex, incontrollable. Human life and body molded by God’s word, God’s word put in praxis, God’s judgment put in action by people. Dividing good and bad, holy and evil, placing burdens on people because of which sex they happen to be born. Deciding what is what, maybe not knowing the truth but thinking one knows being scared of change. Diminishing and minimising something that is very complex makes complexity even stronger. There are such contradictions in what is said, what happens and what is believed to be true it is no wonder there are conflicts. Contradictions via interpretation, to comprehend and put in order life and the representation of humans, we continue fighting in everyday life because we have free will, visibly. Paradoxes which are difficult to manage, to change and unjust to live by. An overall religious view is to see body and bodily functions as impure especially female ones and the world as such where spirit and soul matter and wander in search of perfection and harmony. It could be as if life is somewhere else all the time, is for someone else, in some other time and we in despair.

2.3 Movement, theory and action.

The word Feminism originates from French Utopian Socialist and Philosopher Charles Fourier 1837, the year of his death. [1.] Words Feminism and Feminist first appeared in public in France and the Netherlands 1872. Claims for women’s rights started to happen at large in action at the end of 19th century and beginning of the 20th century by Suffrage movement in Britain, New Zealand, Australia and in the
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United States claiming women’s right to vote and stand for parliamentary office. It is still knowing how religions dictate place of women difficult to understand the opposition feminists have faced and face today. The amount of bitter hate and disdain against feminists, women claiming their citizenship and human rights that for some are less than that of men which is God’s punishment and judgment for all women. Feminists have been treated as lunatics and criminals lacking decency. Feminism as something that will pass. Those unattractive misfits, bald angry lesbians who hate men and behave like prostitutes, unattractively angry. Those who fear say anything to put shame on dissidents. Women who don’t and did not fit nor accept the society’s mold of proper, place of woman, continuity of males as kings nor rules of hypocrisy have been self-evidently painted malaise, harmful, insane, ridiculous, hysterical, marginal and difficult. Women who didn’t accept their part as underdogs began a feisty battle which became violent towards feminists. They began peacefully demanding their rights which did not work and they began to break windows. Feminism is first a movement, demonstration and fierce action demanding and fighting for equal rights and opportunities for all. It is a fight for possibilities to choose how to live as an individual with will and mind of one’s own and as a capable decision-making thinking person. Prejudice and historical echoes have made it so that feminism is not mainstream ideology even we are bound to it as a thoroughly society changing and questioning political ideology. It is not all that common to be working class feminist even labor movement is very much women’s and children’s rights movement. Common is to hear celebrities say of not being feminists but. Desire of theirs is to pose as strong women of the business and live as sellable products earning money that being an illusion of having control over their image and being strong is a facade. Powerful yes but how? How scared can one be and how manipulation is strength? It is too common to hear the denial and keeping distance to that odd and hateful religion­-like ideology that want women to be ugly, hating men or something. Ignorance is once again biggest prejudice creator around. Woman is desired as a body that brings joy for someone else but her and to concentrate on staying pretty and desirable as long as you can is one kind of power but is it strength?

After having put action out with positive results groundbreaking feminist theory started to develop and wonder position of women in society thoroughly. Feminist theory is a complex set of ideas on how genders function, are supposed to function, genders and sexes as social and cultural beings and constructions. Feminist theory is much as any academic work working and looking from the middle­ class points of view but is seen as radical movement still. Working class and middle ­class stay separately still and suspicious of each other; can they mix and work together without suspicion and prejudices and why the division is there in the first place, what is the class divide all about? What happens to equality in this picture? It is a vital issue for feminism how classes function and change, how work is seen and defined, paid and appreciated. Which classes will perish, shall there be new ones, what is the meaning of discourse over the class question all together, whom does class system serve and

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what would world do without distinct separations. Colossal structures of research, work and education are there to be shaken. Working class (which still exists) is too scared to get radical, at least in Finland. Every society has working class of its own kind. Curious is how do they appreciate themselves, are appreciated and what kind of groups get made within. Education and work cultures reflect directly to position of women and rights of labor concern all of women. Feminist theory tends to float inside an academic bubble, thick walls round academies which may scare the common man. Feminist research does not address everyone as doesn’t science as a whole even though it is the meaning of science to be for everyone, serve welfare and the evolving of every man. Elitist academic towers can be isolating and again gaining position can be luring power element in academic competition. Academic position is much respected place to have. To talk only to certain kind of people about social change is an intriguing subject itself, matters of writing and talking but it is not enough to make that change happen at grass root level and be understood that the struggle is the same. Question is how and what message of change is put out, by whom and why? And how a change could be pursued if groups of people do not communicate with each other? It is clear change required does not happen within middle­class, in academies nor in theory. Question is what kind of groups of people globally are the ones who are oppressed enough and tired enough to act? Who don’t want empty promises, unemployment, dead-end future prospects, poor welfare and poor quality of education? Middle ­class and working class do not respect each other enough, know each other, speak the same language or desire to understand each other. There is mutual contempt there which stops multilevel interaction, compassion, understanding and collaboration. How could there be found mutual language and patterns for action which lack oppressive and biased hierarchical structures?

2.4 Unity what could it be?

Communist Manifesto published in 1848 demanded abolishing of child labor, education for all workers including women and children. The demand list of the Manifesto was modern, fresh and ahead of its time demanding equality, dignity and human rights for all. Importantly Manifesto stated abolishment of bourgeois individualism, changes to inherited position in society and right to property, which meant abolishment of slavery and exploitation of people, need to stop abuse of workers’ effort and time. It demanded progressively everyone’s right to work without fear, more time to schooling oneself and one’s family. Free development for each is the condition of development for all. [2.] [3.] [4.] Developed way of looking society and its people on idea level which was to be reality and revolutionary vision to be made come true, a utopia of a better world
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within reach to applying all hopefully bringing welfare, well­being and prosperity. Demand for abolishment of bourgeois family could have meant a beginning for women to stand on their own and have multiple paths to choose from than only having one or two. Michel Foucault states in Foucault Reader, Rabinow, 1984 that bourgeois society before Freud’s inventions repressed sexuality and especially infantile sexuality to a point where society refused to speak of it or acknowledge existence of sexuality in children and women. Crusade against masturbation is a typical example of this as is giving diagnoses for women who in any way acted differently than what was the general ‘better’ judgment. Crusade is to the point essential word to use in contexts of bourgeois society and its determination concerning use of power over women and children and in general anyone who stands on the ‘weak’ side. Weaknesses strictly categorized, the weak labeled and stigmatized. Infantilizing women in terms of sex was the norm, female sexuality was beauty in statues, very fragile but obviously too powerful to let roam free.

As Communism firstly concentrates on abolishment of the bourgeois way of life and class and gaining global labor rights, feminism concentrates on ending sexism and slavery of women, standing for girls’ rights for education and rights of those in the marginal and  under threat because of their gender and sexual orientation. Feminism is against persecution, against mental and physical torture. Questions about difference and what is the difference between and why should it be pointed out are the core issues. [4.] Both ideologies, Feminism and Communism have interesting similarities in being hated, bigotedly stigmatized and activists persecuted for demanding basic human rights and equality. Focus and determination of ending dictatorship is admirable, needed and springs out from harsh reality and experience. It is good to bear in mind that slavery was ended by law 1723 in Russia where poverty has been more of a rule to this day for the large part of the population. Position of women is questionable in a macho culture self-evidently. [3.] [4.] Worldwide slavery has not ended nor extreme poverty and injustice nor exploitation of work nor abuse of women and children nor of those who do not fit in tight gender boxes. Strong political global movement and revolution is much required not as a local act but as global aggressive action (aggression here does not mean physical and violent warfare and question remains how to address anger that is boiling). People are more globally active and maybe even more aware than ever therefore it is appalling problems as extreme poverty and crimes against humanity such as human trafficking and slavery of maids exist. It is intolerable there is resistance against the demand for human rights. [5.] Feminism is at the moment making strong, new and active movement especially in Europe. Taking stand nonviolently and loud as hell.

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Feminist movement Femen is fighting on the streets facing fascists, ordinary street men, politicians as well as the police, who continually arrest bare breasted women shouting Fuck your morals, God is a woman, Ukraine is not a brothel, in gay we trust, Nudity is freedom! Strength and visibility of such fearless action and devotion to the important cause is impressive, appreciated and joyfully effective. Feminism should be exactly that and in there, on the streets, in demonstrations, during world cups which lure prostitution to flourish, in places where world leaders meet to make people in suits face anger, attacking fashion shows to let them who exploit hear out those who really have an important message: Listen to those whom you abuse and manipulate! We are many and we force you to listen. Feminism is activism, sextremism, distraction, interruption, disturbance of status quo and destruction of seemingly comfortable balance breaking that clean surface. It is an unforgiving demand in itself and notion that women have to take their place to be heard, fearlessly speak out standing tall. Feminism is demanding abolishment of sex trade, acknowledgement of the problems which women globally face, abolishment of sexism and punishment for it, concrete demand for separation of the church and state, legalization for access to free and safe abortion, women to have decision over their bodies and work, punishments for rapists to be heavier than they are. It is demand for respect, justice and dignity. Feminism is demanding human rights and lasting social change to all human beings, environment and animals. It is one of the most important global movements at the moment and the importance of change shows in the way Feminists are treated. Importance of attitude change is immediate. Importance of finding conformity a repulsive tool of oppression and fascism. Importance of learning how fascism works today and manifests itself daily in ways of monitoring, dictating, suppressing and manipulating. Place of women is displayed by showing hate against women, against Feminism, stigmatizing those who dare to speak up and act against oppression. It is one of the most important issues globally to make concrete change to better lives and rights of women, minorities and children. [6.] Situation is angering and change is slow. Hierarchy, power and position of church is immense dictating places of genders, how people should live, what is right and wrong. Religions and dictators are obstructing development of human rights for people to achieve better quality of life, better treatment and appreciation of women and children as individuals and people. [7.] I see divisions very clearly anywhere, personally and generally and I refuse to be what I should be by my sex and gender traditionally, ordered by someone who is to be above me because he or she can. I can do nothing but go against. Change is coming and there is no other way.

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Links to the books read and which are to be read over and over again. Communist Manifesto is a recommended reading for those to whom the word communist is a curse word, to whom everyone who is on the left is a communist and communism equals to mass murder and oppression. People use philosophies and ideologies to force their personal interests forward in the world, this has been true before and is true today. It is not necessarily fault of the philosophers and dissidents.

https://www.globalgreyebooks.com/communist-manifesto-ebook/

https://monoskop.org/images/f/f6/Rabinow_Paul_ed_The_Foucault_Reader_1984.pdf

Chomsky answers by returning to other dimensions of universal human nature and reason. In his opinion, there is a universal human need for creative work and free inquiry. The possibility of satisfying this need is stifled in our society. Given modern technology and science, Chomsky argues, the means are currently available to overcome the alienation and drudgery of labor. If this has not been accomplished, the fault lies not in science but in the social and political organization of our society.”

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Fourier
www.wikipedia.org/Feminism 18.12.2013
2. http://www.marx-seura.kaapeli.fi  uusi linkki 12.8.2018
3. https://www.skp.fi/asiakirjagalleria/kommunistisen-puolueen-manifesti 18.12.2013, 30.10.2013 Kommunistisen puolueen manifesti pdf.
4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_Russia 30.10.2013
5.http://www.tulva.fi/blogi2.php?aid=116088 by Lauri Punamäki ja Emmi Vähäpassi 22.11.2013 Naisunionin pohdintaa miksi miesten pitäisi sallia liittyä feministiseen järjestöön 6.https://www.facebook.com/FEMEN.International 18.12.2013 Feminist organization fighting for human rights worldwide! Their breasts are their weapons. Originating from Ukraine making fierce action against patriarchy rule and exploitation of women.
7. https://www.bitchmedia.org/post/on-our-radar-feminist-news-roundup-82 21.11.2013News post by Arielle Yarwood fight is far from over, fight for women to have right to their bodies, right for abortion
8. https://womanstats.wordpress.com/?s=state+feminism 21.11.2013 woman stats project, Feminist blog/ column about state feminism in political use during Cultural Revolution in China
9.https://www.salon.com/2013/05/07/how_to_fold_a_thong_a_straight_man_working_at_victorias_secret/21.11.2013 article by Christopher Pilny for Salon
10. https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/05/topless-jihad-why-femen-is-right/275471/20.12.2013 by Jeffrey Taylor article of Femen demonstration in Belarus, demonstrators were kidnapped, tortured by secret police. 11.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third­wave_feminism 14.3.2014

 

When is revolution, irrational right and wrong, 2014. A collection of essays and poems here online where revolution takes fire, writings in doses.

Foreword: With corrections on language and added thoughts in 2018. Revolution is a moving, evolving thing difficult to define, events are not enough, so what is? I am in hopes that mankind takes up with my plea and effort to rethink revolution the act anew. Humanitarian catastrophes and environmental disasters make the world move at frightening speed to destruction. I’m sure you have noticed. Has it hit your way already? Agreements to do something in ten years is ten years too late. And I am the tool here or am I a button? Revolutionary object ready to hit, instrumental feminism is not just jargon, right. Some people don’t know what hit them or will hit pretty soon. Later.

Abstract
Digging into concept, act and idea of revolution, which we all have constructed in our minds to mean a specific kind of event, maybe we take it for granted what revolution means and understand it plainly as an aggressive social political chaotic act. It is a mass event and making revolution is a necessity setting the world to understand the inevitability of change on attitude level, in action, on every possible level. Though we live in already revolutionized world it is an issue always constant and acute.

I have taken feminist perspective into idea and act of revolution, into changing the world more democratic and equal which work is done around the globe by many as we speak. What are the results of work of activists, dissidents and artists is being on display in social media and other media how things spread fast. My means in comprehending and making the phenomena and act of revolution are written text and art which both have an important role in making social change visible, worthy and active. Easily spreadable manifestos, columns, articles, slogans, songs, poems by which everybody can contribute and be heard. With this work I agitate people to do revolution of wisdom, it takes all of us. No one can and must not be excluded. Happenings of chain reactions for common cause await. Cause of and for us all is to end poverty, exploitation, suffering, abuse, ruling of liars who call themselves bankers, politicians, businessmen and journalists. I wish to bring fire in form of texts which I also have published on my website www.hennajoronen.net. My topics in this thesis are feminism, human rights, war, emotions in making revolution, environment, injustice and historical insights to social reforms, writing political poetry mixing experience and desire, how experience matters, trying to understand despair, birth mechanisms of aggression and violence and why the world is in a situation as it is.

Keywords: expression, experimental, riot, rage, abuse, social rot, corruption, economy, revolution, feminism, poetry, ekpyrosis, world order, war, violence, aggression, emotions, hate, capitalism, communism, ideology, YouTube, Wikipedia, information, knowledge, disinformation, fake news, news

Poetry of mine.

1.1. A questionnaire because I am lost.

How does one experiment academically including one’s art and knowledgeable information to make worthy observations? To make solid worthy new information to follow, think, argue with and comprehend by other artists, students, academics or anyone. Everything is information, there are signs and signals and we have to be able to understand what is going on now and what has happened before. We live in flood of information. Radio­activity is information to our cells as is sunlight and we know this because of scientific studies and results offered for us. I want to be that kind of researcher but I have a brain of an artist. Is this equation impossible: I cherish the contradiction.

Do I discover new information with my current work and how do I measure? I need to have a question to which I try to find an answer. I ask When is revolution? How can I answer to it other than it is ongoing and never­-ending? And how do I know that, what are the measurements? Revolution in my mind is a fact, world is revolutionized and image of the world is made by people who have taken risks and trusted their visions and capabilities. My task is to make this notion of possible comprehensible, the revolutionized world because it is not self­-evident and yet it is present and true. Revolution is to make noticeable positive change which would be commonly happening via people and for people learning their possibilities with their active involvement changing societies for better and making societies function to benefit all. How to make impossible possible?

I need to pick up the parts, acute parts of and for revolution, where the power lies, how does it lie, the idea of power for me and pass the ideas molded forward after seeing and thinking through thoughts, situations and images that revolve and float in the air. My interests one being change of which we talk about, the inevitable and absolute and fear of change, objects of change, forces against it and why it is a mantra. The other is how via accomplishments of revolutions that have passed we come up with new ones and how does idea of making revolution vary. Which deeds make revolution, a revolutionized society and thinking? Which words make it? Is it who speaks them and how? Is it just a decision and dedication to one cause and what that cause can do, choosing a side? What kind of information is important to know altogether and include in writings about making revolution, a manifesto and thesis put together, because I intend to do revolution as I go. One question is how aware are we of the change that we make? To seek change, one has to know what needs to be changed and how things are to be altered. Talking is not enough.

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How does one make an artistic test and how is it research? I have to see what happens. That is what I normally do with my art or with anything I try it out. I can try assume how people might react. Fact realizes itself when people react to what they have witnessed, reaction is evidence, but how right and truthful reaction is. I hope reactions are for the better. How does written text shape the visual world (seen, looked at, observed) and how is that impact and possible change measured? It takes time. What does a poem do? I should see what has been written about poets’ works before, what kinds of results have researchers come up with, what have poets accomplished? Poets scare rulers because they are fearless and listened to.

And as my work is a manifesto shouldn’t it be where people are making a statement, online? And what is that, the internet, one big revolution? I question myself as a writer, student and artist and do not hope to see my part as a preacher of one-sided truth but see the issue at hand from different standpoints. To be a hammer, hand, vein, blood and hit. It is what revolutions usually fall down for, bloodshed, for having one-sided truths, war, icons to follow believing in themselves more than in justice, short-sidedly. Should the question be, am I ready to die, is that what it takes? It so often seems to be. Question of how to analyze and evaluate artistic input and output, what makes a sufficient academic thesis in the context of artistic research, in context of social change? Matters of subjectivity and objectivity on what there is to gain, the subject of interest and matters of facts found.

Just like revolution?
Should I explain what is a poem? Is a poem serious and reasonable evidence of something or is it just something thrown in the air because I felt like it? To comprehend a poem, how they should be understood as there is no formula, no rules in contemporary poetry which idea suits revolutionary mindset but not necessarily making a social reform? Poetry is constructed out of abstractions and of pieces what is, what there is as there are all possible ideas, things and deeds in the world to be thought and played with. Revolution is to rearrange and solve, make crystal clear solutions. What is it to write creatively and could it be done plausibly in academic frame and still call it art? More important question is reliability, seriousness and trust-worthiness that there is weight and goals. What does a poem prove is individual experience. And who is the judge of artistic work? Measurements are how the art effects and who is the poet, what does poet want and who is listening. Does it have to be judged or praised in context of art? What is judgment in this case may be silence and value of judging can be in making a change that things stay unchanged. For some people who is valuable. What are the measurements I should use other than my gut feelings and understanding of ill people make in the world, situations of the vulnerable, of poverty and struggle, point out things that are told over and over again in the news and what are the means to measure my work accomplished other than see what happens. My success or failure, my personal view in public what does it do? What is the relevance?

Academic work is about making observations, writing them down, comparing and measuring results and reporting those results in understandable accurate way. It is the most difficult part of this work for me since I have written my essays with personal agenda, personal world view and with a goal of making a revolutionary impact, boldly and just like that aiming at the objective attempt to the general and political away from personal. I have been my making conclusions and putting knowledge found as I see them happening trying to find the truth and what is right. In this sense my thesis is experimental, individual furious plea leaning on evidence I have felt is true, wrong or out-of-place, read on the internet and in books and it sounds like what is happening online all the time, doing something based on feelings and personal observations. What kind of knowledge have I found other than that? I have become dedicated to the causes of environment and human rights. Have I contributed, created and given something worth-while and new or is it just an individual learning process of how to write an academic work and how to find information? Is that the whole idea of Master of Art­ thesis, to learn to repeat? It is a difficult task in every way because I

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am determined to make a collection of writings of original and heavy contents. Effort, mission and piece of work may seem obsessive, chaotic and full, understandable and disorderly in purpose. Naivety is part of revolution, the hope for the better and belief in one’s vision, overcoming powerlessness. Enjoyment of making mistakes is there as I live for them, the individuality of imperfection and having joy over not feeling shame for being blunt. To have that error made guides without desire to correct. To write poetry demands desire to wonder, stop and wonder, pause. To let need to write fill me. Writing things down, anything, especially insignificant indifferent and small. The profound, the opposite, the shallow, unique and not at all. It is fearless expression, anarchy of language, curious possibility of finding voice of one’s own. Poetry as a method of linguistic expression has interesting element of time in it. What was it that passed us by. Time experienced and lived, remembered, crystallized, to understand what was it that happened and is happening within field of social change globally, within us and around and be part of it which is indescribable and new. How can I analyze all of it is to follow the patterns people make and look to the future as masses move humanity forward and what kind of influence has our past made without me needing to analyze revolutions thoroughly? Events of revolutions that have happened and have been analyzed many times over. How necessary is it for academic reader to know my past and my involvement in doing art since that is from where I write? Well it is there, art, in every manner and the way to perceive.

1.2. My ground, why I write and what do I seek to achieve with my work.

I declare in my poems freedom of expression and speech, freedom to experiment, fearless daring, which is what one may ask. My poems are not fiction though they move in landscapes of fantasy and nonsense, sudden randomness and subconscious. Notes, fragments, ideas, pictures which words and alphabet make. Poetry is heavily included in the vast context of revolution which we live like a stage act. Revolutions seen as massive mass of energy, battling and tearing emotions, insane, desperate and violent. Revolution is a body of work individually and communally, forceful in labor, demanding rights and responsibilities, setting obligations, people fighting to survive but what do they ask of themselves or demand of themselves to do the impossible? Revolution can be life-threatening.

Poetry has long tradition in making revolution, of being involved inventing and changing the world by mocking rulers, telling sides what is visible and invisible, what is being told what is not, making satire, giving voice to those who are not heard and listened to, what is unknown or secret. Art is made to make people see and feel, raise compassion, awareness, hope and to set unity within people. Poetry can be very personal moving towards the political. Political as personal to me is frank, active, direct and true (realistic in its horror, daring and irrational weirdness). Honesty with promises kept is asked of politicians but honest making of politics is not happening in the real world. It is something required of a

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poet, of everyone, what is left unseen and unsaid. Honesty and all the good promised seem to fade in repeat. Poetry is and should be something expressed without hierarchy, manners, protocol or anything hindering or obstructing wordy bullets. Poetry is  expression that is thought to be delicate, anarchy and agitation is a dangerous game,  game of language as is politics, curious possibility of finding voice of one’s own. Scribbling, writing anything without thinking it being trivial or maybe it is. When is trivial meaningful, when there is power in the smallest detail tossed aside, is an interesting thought. What do we toss aside as unimportant? It is making one kind of revolution in our time of effective productivity; to stop and wonder, for how long is for you to decide. Who decides what is meaningful? What is a good time and what is enough time? What is long enough and what is heavy enough?

Poetry exists as revolutionary, private and/or public act, a note revealing secrets, uncensored and an inexpensive way to use language for anybody to practice. To express personal thoughts and emotions, situations, personal experiences, personal sensitiveness, fragments of time. Way to use words and to find words, find sentences, find imaginative verbal images. To say forcefully, look for energy in how to say and what does it mean to say or whether to say at all. Appealing to unreason combining reason, sense, irrationality, dream­like visions and concrete reality, seen and unseen, short or long. For poetry any area of life is not unfamiliar. I personally have been influenced by several exceptional, original and unique artists. As I think of my influences they all seem and have been very revolutionary and have gone up-stream and strongly against the system, against stream of banality in their lives and in their art. What comes to poetic influences I have searched and found before are Finnish, Russian and several artists from South­ and North­ American countries that have made an impact and stayed with me. Impact is lasting, profoundly emotional and intellectual. Their message has been encouraging, hopeful and sincere. One person can make an impact that makes a difference.

1.3. Reasons to wake up, rise up and write

During military coup in Chile September 11th 1973 Salvador Allende was killed after being elected for the first Marxist/Socialist president in the world in democratic elections. It is one of the military takeovers which has stayed in my mind as pictures and as an event. Refugees from Chile began to immigrate Finland in the eighties. There have been many documentaries about Chile turning into a dictatorship shown on Finnish television. Life before and after Augusto Pinochet. Tanks moving on the streets, men with machine guns, military outfits and sour looks with dust moving in the air. Movie House of Spirits by Bille August (1993) [2.] based on Isabel Allende’s novel is situated in those times and events in Chile. Both the novel and the movie tell vividly

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what happened like kick in the face. It is a short bridge to poet Pablo Neruda (1904­-1973) friend of Salvador Allende, to Neruda’s exile in Europe from Chile in 1949, murder of Federico Garcia Lorca 1936, civil war in Spain 1936­-39 and radical movements which were triggered very much because of the Spanish war and fascism raising. There is a bridge to a Peruvian poet César Abraham Vallejo Mendoza whose poems are leftist and political (1892-­1938). I have learned to know him as César Vallejo. He published during his life only three collections of poems but is known as a radical reformer of poetry in his country and abroad. Texts of all those poets have been major influences politically and artistically to me and are very much respected globally no less for being shamelessly political.

South America as mentality, emotion and state of mind in pictures and in written texts has been inspirational and continues to be. There is vulgar violence, brutality, misogyny, but yet hope, colors, joy of living which I can relate to and admire. Same goes with Russia. It is an opposite to Finland in many ways, but we share some similarities, neighbourly love and curiosity towards each other enough to like each other. The amount of sheer aggression and violent behavior there is, is appalling colliding against with beauty which is heartbreaking. Life is short and full of pain. Can that be beautiful?

It is there in every day like a habit, a necessity and right to have, aggression. Violence which is due to macho culture, politic making, poverty and exploitation first because of Europe and then the United States. What comes to South­ America it has been under many rules and dictators. The US today has trouble on many fronts because of the flow of immigrants and drugs coming from the south especially after the US having declared war on drugs, which according to the critics is waste of money and effort as are many battles US likes to fight. Because the US has been interfering politics in all South­ American countries during 19th and all of the 20th century it is in trouble: morally, financially and politically. Assassinations, financial aiding of dictators, coups, terrorism and civil wars that have happened the US has been involved in brutality one way or another dictating how South­ America should be ruled. Chile is a very interesting case in this respect. It has been manipulated by the US long before 1973. For the record Chile declared independence 12th of February 1818 from Spain.

During short presidential era of Salvador Allende starting 1970 in Chile much of the banking sector was nationalized. ” Many enterprises within the copper, coal, iron, nitrate, and steel industries were expropriated, nationalized, or subjected to state intervention. Industrial output increased sharply and unemployment fell during the Allende administration’s first year. As a result, the Richard Nixon administration organized and inserted secret operatives in Chile, in order to quickly destabilize Allende’s government. In addition, American financial pressure restricted international economic credit to Chile. ” [1.] Sounding familiar and infuriating. This piece of history taken from Wikipedia says something to the point what comes to interfering economical balance and making it benefit interests of one. Has anything changed? No.

What does this got to do with poetry or revolution? What does anything got to do with art? Everything. Art is a powerful tool in making appearances. What can an artist say and what kind of topics are there for artists to go through, look through and comment, satire and mock, bring on spotlight? Same miseries affect artists as anybody. If there is possibility to give voice to that misery that is a lucky chance for revolution and social change? People like to listen songs and read texts that tell of their lives, what happens and what has happened. Stories and emotions unify. Are artists still as dangerous free spirits as before or under capitalist monetary powers like every merchant?

History and what happens now in the world has got everything to do with art and my work. Art has been and still is cultural beauty, aesthetics and productivity harnessed to serve those in power. Art luckily happens also outside power circles, money rings and clichés. Outside meaning usually a counter­force, counter­ voice, revolutionary art has always come from the marginal, different, waking up, striking and breaking beauty standards, in other words ass-kicking. Regardless of does it get financial aid or recognition it happens and needs to be made such as street art, performance art, activism and any other outsider art. Internet has proved to be very needed and useful tool in getting voices heard. One of the most revolutionary inventions of 20th century uniting expression in good and bad excessively, notoriously in good and bad, democratically in right and undemocratically in wrong. Writer can publish one’s texts without anyone in between and audience can be enormous or small as the impact following the contribution. It is a new possibility for an artist to create. Possibility of inexpensive, instant output and feedback, of finding collaboration and new ideas. Internet is innovative and connective tool of changing how we interact with each other and within societies. How does it change us? What is the change we like to talk about? We have to find the best ways of making the world democratic and equal? Is equality the aim? It is an issue of everybody. everybody seems to have an opinion on every matter. How valid feelings, impressions, personal agendas, opinions are is an interesting case of what do we want. Do we make the same mistakes over and over again? War and violence are something we make nonstop. That is what we believe?

1.www.wikipedia.org/SalvadorAllende/Chile/CIA
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_dictatorship_of_Chile_(1973–90)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1973_Chilean_coup_d%27état
29.7.2018
2.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_House_of_the_Spirits 29.7.2018

Responsibility issues what comes to speaking, what is an attack and what can be tolerated: a personal take on communication between humans. Speaking is a performance.

We evaluate each other for how we speak. What do you say of that person over there, what do you say of yourself and what is the world like in your speech. What kind of content you produce, what kinds of pauses there are, phrases, language, style, what kind of text is produced and is thought through, what comes out when we speak, in what kind of voice. What does a voice do: it scares, threatens, is too silent or has found the perfect balance. Voice has to be firm and loud enough. It has to reassure the listener, but not too much noise please. Too much is a threat and tone of voice in which we speak has a meaning. Sometimes one has suppressed one’s voice that shouting may be the only way to express and make a sound, which has made me wonder the sensitiveness of how we must police our levels of voice. It is curious that to find a voice one can find it by raising one’s voice, by shouting. It scares people, so do it alone or in a group who understand your quest of finding a voice. The evaluation happens instantly and our conceptions of the speaker influence a great deal, what we expect of hearing, what do we think the speaker means and what do we think of the speaker. How open can we be towards someone else’s message and what does openness mean, is it that we agree to listen. Reactions are the ones we are hoping to get. We are open to listen, make note and respect or just pass? In how many ways can the spoken be understood is the same as how many ways can the nonverbal be understood? What are the things that interest us in a speaker, why is she or he appealing to us and what are the things we pay attention to in anyone? It is safer to blend in, go with flow, try not to irritate. To disagree can be daring nowadays. We must have a personal interest of some kind and we like to think the personal is correct, true and something to guard.

I have always been pointed out that I don’t speak enough which has clearly been a flaw. As a child I barely spoke at all. In terms of speaking, it is interesting to use myself as an example. Pretty girl does not speak, she just looks pretty. That can be a task that is enough. When women and girls speak out their minds, it may come as a shock. Since now I speak whatever I feel best, I also like to provoke and enjoy havoc caused, but it does not mean I would not mean what I say, I just speak my mind without censoring myself. If people’s ways of thinking get disturbed, I am thrilled to see what happens. Silence is a place of an observer, but it also is accepting one’s place and the place is not defined only by you, but you yourself remain evaluated nevertheless. Silence is a place of hiding, of suspicion, that there is something wrong with that person or there is nothing to say. Silence can be taken in many ways, what it means, so why not ask rather than make up something coloured and biased. Silence is appreciated in Finland and it is a weird mix of inability to talk and enjoying silence, not being bothered by it, but still many are. I can be very silent which for many strikes as scary and odd. Talking is the way for us to express ourselves, self-evidently, just like that, bluntly or very considerately. It is a matter of credibility, fun, entertainment, socialising and status, often that clearly is not speaking like it mattered, but as if there are compulsive reasons to produce speech to avoid feelings of emptiness, loneliness and feeling of being left out, for example.. It is not enough that you speak, you have to speak of right, accepted issues in a right accepted way, which when problematic is avoided, can begin to feel like a straitjacket and going round in circles. Why do I have to follow this system and rules of speech and why fear is something one feels.

In a crowd of only men, it is weird to speak as the only woman. You stick out. In a crowd of working class (or not-so-much-educated people), one with education sticks out. It is even worse when you are a woman. What kind of issues concern me, what can I say in the end? Well I avoid the personal and like to concentrate on social and political issues, art and what else is there than the self..Female voice is an interesting one, what comes out of that mouth, what is it worth and what does it tell of a person. Blame there is is an interesting issue to take under microscope, as it exist in a way of a power tool. People like to invent things, analyse, read the person, often wrong. The person who does not take part in conventional manner, disagrees strongly or stays an outsider must be labelled. It is a place of constantly fighting against bias and wrong information. You have not tried enough to claim your place which place is claimed by claiming respect and there are rules. How do we get respect, what do we have to do and what do we have to be like to be worthy? How much respect is worth having in a lookalike world that seeks to be liked? It has always been a wonder to me as respect falls on others and escapes some of us. It is about system of values and changing that system of thinking.

When young, I found it so that my speech was meaningless, because of my age and because of my gender. I didn’t have a voice, I was invisible, but I existed, which is a place for artistry to come out. I found value in being a freak and a language I could speak. Those who do not speak, are stupid is the very often felt judgment, which is weird in a country that values silence. Today in cacophony of talk, those who are silent, seem to be a blessing. Everyone has an opinion and has to voice it. It is a very straightforward method which we call social. Again those who make the most noise are the most noticed and listened to people. My way of staying outside feels natural to me, although it is odd for most people. I have not participated in the ways people usually participate and engage, still I don’t think of myself as anti-social, quite the contrary. Silence is serious and not so much fun…Your fun is not mine either.

In human relations one’s space has to be taken, it is not given. When one is not interested in spaces that exists to be social, one should still try and engage, it sounds like a problem and an effort. Now that I don’t hesitate to speak, I speak of wrong issues and have wrong kind of opinions. Human relations and codes of communication are somewhat interesting, difficult to master, especially jumping to conclusion strikes me. It is so easy, so please try to avoid, if you can. You have to know human way of thinking to use communication skills correctly, that is social, but it is also manipulation. It is about psychology and authenticity, or ability to look like authentic and reliable. It is about learning ways of communicating, the correct ways, knowing how people think and what are one’s own goals, because there are always personal gains. I laugh too loudly, it is a flaw. I shout out when everybody else is quiet, it is weird. I think I like myself. lmfao