Art of self-portrait has evolved into not examining and studying oneself, but skin and looks are the most interesting things about anyone. It is to judge quickly. A sea of selfies also telling what you look like by the pool in repeat. Oh look, she still by the pool, looks quite youthful. Nice ass. You should look your age I have heard. Really? What is that by the pool?

What’s my age? Well, it is Rock your little heart out and I wanna be a rock’n’roll singer, I heard it pays well. Years and years without a filter, I thought you liked the natural look. Ok, let’s move on. By the pool you age quickly, just so you know.

1998 self-portrait on film.

Depicting oneself, not just how one looks like but bringing one’s personality into a picture, has been one important branch in Fine Art. Don’t know is it about facial expressions like smiling and looking happy and fit, showing the best side I mean that much, but they do have a part, what sides anyone wants others to see and how one sees oneself. An important topic of image of human, you and me before photography and still today the slowness of the process of painting and drawing demands focus, thought, intellect and studying, skill of some sort and desire to do it, look at yourself with all you have got. There still are topics worthy of a picture and those topics that get sidelined. It takes time and an idea of you to frame you. To have an idea of oneself and imagine it further, maybe a little lie, taking time to look at oneself without judging or maybe the most interesting part is what gets judged and should be eliminated. ‘Flaws’ are possible the most interesting part of you, eliminating them, you eliminate something out of you. It is a process which leads to progress and a good starting point of beginning in art, like who are you, what do you focus on in yourself and in the world, what do you want with this picture. Does it matter what others want to see? What is seeing and perceiving, how do we feel when we are looked at?

Selfies seem to tell where you are instead of who you are and tell where you are headed, which is the stars of course, the celebrity, fame to be looked at and gaining wealth. Being rich is what is desired and selfies often want to tell. What fame accomplishes is a sea of images, a very flat world nowadays. What kind of a phone do you have, what are you wearing, how are you feeling, what is your politics and what kind of a mark do you want to leave in the world, how smooth your skin is, what products do you use, something very commercial and sellable, but does tell of you, I suppose. It is like you are for sale and any mistake is monitored and as a result you are either approved or discarded or whatever, making money or not is the valuable to know in what you do, but you want to be accepted as you are with filters and ideals that Instagram shows. Authenticity being a lie is an interesting way to the natural which we all appreciate. Swiping images of faces, what is it? What is this digital mush? Not buying, are you selling, what are you selling? How many beauty products do we need to be happy?

Promoting yourself the most, not examining who you are, constantly, so don’t make a mistake even though those can be the most interesting thing you ever did. How careful do we have to be with images as they are the manufactured good? It is strange in the times of therapy and healing that we are products to be sold or discarded, mocked and used. Messaging what you stand for and that is who you are and have been since the election of Trump, because Trump is bad and you are good. The right side or the wrong one, but as always image is to create you, real or not, a show of you. Do you create the image as is the assumption or is it made for you like a ready-made, an easy enough plan to follow? There are lots of fears concerning the self-image, how people perceive you and do they accept you. Do you accept you and why are you your image? Are you your authentic self as is the desire and need? What does authenticity even mean anymore when opinions are the most dangerous thing? Even makeup is to look natural made artificially, point is to cover any sign of aging, fat or whatever thing people like to stare at.

The viewer might try to find you, but considering how images are modified, reshaped, tuned, controlled, seeing the human is getting more difficult. Just make a statement. It is like we don’t want to be seen, even though your face and body are there, there is a layer or many layers on you. The topic is to look good and sexy on a stream nonstop, sexy by the pool in your bikinis posing. You are pressured to look a certain way and you are corrected to look ‘better’. Social pressure has always been there and still today those who do not conform are odd. Which non-conforming is accepted today, I wonder. I don’t see it. Non-conforming is to go against the grain per se and clearly many don’t like it. I thought that was a good thing. People are surprised when someone doesn’t do as pressured. I am the weak one, right? Today in all freedom and unity women pressure other women to be the image pointing out every flaw in you. I do enjoy my natural state, unmodified and I have no intention joining this mass movement of dullness and looking like celebrities, I mean famous people, enjoying leisure, you do all look the same. That is the ideal, beauty in leisure and it is work. If you make money, it must be work. If it pays well, it is valuable and worth everybody’s time.

So, back to self-portrait, you look at yourself in the mirror or like I first started without it and painted an imaginary picture of myself which I had kept to myself till I painted it. How you picture yourself without seeing yourself physically is an interesting mind exercise of what you think of yourself and how new a picture of you can get, not to mention are you capable of doing it, are you able to hold a pen and start. In a world where others like to define you, tell who you are and should be like and should look like, it is more than a welcome way of practicing learning to know yourself, learning to look at, seeing, being yourself in a hostile environment where people bring chaos into your life just because they can, trying to be unique (whatever that is) and just learning an art technique to move forward. Image today is a proof of you existing and living digitally online and the online is fast moving to change the reality and us into images with few dimensions. Billions of people having phones in their hands standing next to a cliff, say hello to the world. Self-portrait is telling perhaps there is more to you than a snapshot. Selfie is telling how well do you imitate someone else? The Barbi doll is someone to go for in real life for some reason I do not know. The Barbi doll is a mystery even though it is plain obvious living dead. Her body is controlled, fit hourglass and all she does is maybe walk the beach to be seen. Time taken to think about what you are doing other than a product of yourself is also important in finding something humaine and personal or are you erasing the personal, other than you are here and this is how beautiful I look like, like me, want me etc. Beauty being the manufactured kind, that can be rebuilt by surgery over and over again. There is no limit as there are doctors who will do it. Thinking about what is changing in perceiving a person and oneself and do we see every picture as art-like, you as the artwork and everyone is an artist and what does it mean eventually for art, artists and is it even interesting. Maybe art is vanishing as it has been? Art is valuable clearly when it makes money. How the visuals we produce are changing and how much technology dictates the images we make? There is quite much control for good and bad images flattering being one huge reason to do pictures, curating oneself is to be a professional, like poor lighting, unthought background, unfortunate line when drawing, smell of decay and shit etc? The control aspect is what strikes as abuse of power and ‘perfecting’ everything not understanding what is good. A good image of you?


Intrinsic value, a term in ethics

Intrinsic value, a term in ethics

It is absolute certainty of valuable existing in us and among us, undoubtedly undeniable worth and meaning. One can think it is unmeasurable, uncountable. It is not necessary to humans to acknowledge. So, to say art has absolute value, mathematical term, intrinsic value, what is it that is valuable in art? Its mere existence, it is made by someone, it is a message of what? To understand value is to grow value something, what we most value in humans and how we become to value something is through necessity, guidance and skill. Our needs bring value. What kind of needs do we have other than basic ones to stay alive?

Revolutionary night crème

Have you heard about the revolutionary night crème? It really does wonders.

Banana revolution

Banana revolution. Shop Revolution pro. I heart revolution chocolate heart. Goddess of love hearts Revolution of blushing hearts. Shop I heart Revolution.

spheroid, or ellipsoid of revolution, is a quadric surface obtained by rotating an ellipse about one of its principal axes; in other words, an ellipsoid with two equal semi-diameters. A spheroid has circular symmetry.

If the ellipse is rotated about its major axis, the result is a prolate (elongated) spheroid, shaped like an American football or rugby ball. If the ellipse is rotated about its minor axis, the result is an oblate (flattened) spheroid, shaped like a lentil. If the generating ellipse is a circle, the result is a sphere. from Wikipedia

Co-worker, 2002 Fucking, driving, eating, sleeping


Fucking, driving, eating, sleeping

Live a little, live a lot. How to know when? Live amounts of unknown. I use lipstick to attract myself. I use lipstick to notice my lips. I use lipstick to apply to my lips color, to see my mouth in a different way. Would an ancient Greek be angry with me?

Kuvan lähtökohta on se, mikä ohitetaan ja miten yhdentekevältä uusi vaikuttaa. Espoo on muuttumassa Vantaaksi ja Tampere Espooksi.

Ympäristön kuvaaminen on itselleni eräänlaista todistusaineiston keräämistä, siitä helvetillisestä katastrofista, mikä suomalainen rakentaminen tänä päivänä on. Laadullisesti ja esteettisesti niin heikkoa työtä, että ihmettelen, vaikka asiasta valitetaan yleisönosastokirjoituksissa, huolella ei ole minkäänlaista vaikutusta reaalimaailmassa ollut tähän päivään mennessä. Niin, idealisti voisi luulla, että kansalaisen puuttumisella voisi olla vaikutusta parempaan. Realisti ei sellaiseen usko. Ulkoisesti rakennetaan hulppean näköisiä kerrostaloja viimeisen postmodernin maun mukaan kalliin näköisiksi. Se onkin nykyajan omituisuus, että on oltava kalliin näköinen ja rahaa löytyy-imago pidetään pystyssä. Mistä tulee toinen ihmettelyn ja huolenaiheeni, valehteleminen ja ulkokuoren luominen, mitä sisäpuoli on ja todellisuus, voi saada jopa naurattamaan.

Ulkokuori on niin kalliin näköinen, että hinnat kallistuvat pelkän näyn johdosta, koska on näytettävä hyvältä, mutta selkeästi ei oltava hyvä eikä tarjottava hyvää. Kuoret kuluvat yllättävän nopeasti, jos ei sisältö vastaa odotuksia eikä kestä aikaa saati ole moniulotteinen. Arkkitehtuuri-julkaisuissa toistuu hyvin samanlainen rakennustyyli, voisiko sitä kuvata ultramoderniksi ja futuristiseksi, joka kansalaisen tasolle laskeutuessaan on mainoshypellä myyty laatikko, pahimmassa tapauksessa se on aina harmaa ja muovinen. Väreillä ja päälle liimaamisella yritetään korjata osaamisen, kuvittelun ja tekemisen puutteet. Koukerokuvioita siis lätkäistään pinnan päälle ja tasaisia värikuutioita sinne tänne betonin ja tasaisen laatikkokuoren päälle, aivan kuin maalauksissa. Näissä on jotain Mondrianilta. Moniulotteisuus ja voisiko sanoa monikulttuurisuus rakentamisessa on harha, kun vertaa yli sadan vuoden takaiseen rakentamiseen, jossa pintakuviointi ja ulottuvuus tehtiin rakenteeseen. Aivan jokaikinen kohta oli ajateltu, mikä nykypäivänä hivelee esteettistä silmää. Tällaiseen ei ole enää henkisesti (ei ole osaajia) eikä taloudellisesti varaa, koska kaiken nopeatahtisuus syö yksityiskohdat ja ulottuvuudet, joita silmällä etsiä eli miksi rakennamme, voi kysyä. Ainoastaan kaupallisesta tarpeesta, laatikot eivät ole mitään muuta kuin kaupallisen tarpeen ja bisneksen etuja ajatellen tehtyjä. On vain pintaa, joka vaihtuu viiden vuoden välein tai jopa useammin. Suomessa edelleen uskotaan nopeisiin laatikkoratkaisuihin, ne ovat kaupungeille ja rakennuttajille kivoja, koska ovat nopeita ja halpoja. Halpoja ratkaisuja ne todella ovat, esteettisesti aivan saatanan karseita. Kauniin ja kestävän tekeminen vie aikaa ja kysyy osaamista, mitä meillä on yhä vähemmän, näkemyksestä puhumattakaan, vaikka on tulevaisuuden tutkijoita kertomassa, miten huikealta tulevaisuus näyttää, tulevaisuus on yhä litteämpi, ei moniuloitteisempi eikä monikulttuurisempi. Eurooppa on ollut monikulttuurinen jo kauan aikaa, saa nähdä kuinka kauan ja kuinka monikulttuurisuus määritellään. Vasemmalle pyyhkäisy on siirtynyt reaalimaailmaan maisemaa katsottaessa, aivan kuten twiittiin reagoidaan. Sanat ovat vielä hyvin eri asia kuin teot. Asuminen on luksusta, johon ei kohta ole varaa ja varsinkaan kauniiseen kotiin, jonka rakentaminen olisi tehty huolella ja asukasta ajatellen. Ketä oikeasti ajatellaan kaupunkitilaa suunniteltaessa? Kaupantekijöitä tietenkin. Älä istu missään, koska penkkejä ei ole tai jos on, ne ovat epämukavia. Epämääräisyys ihmisissä on myös kauhistus, muotoile itsesi kauneuskirurgialla kuvaksi. Kulje eteenpäin, aivan kuin olisit menossa jonnekin ja jotakin tärkeää kohti. Kuluta, koska jos et kuluta, et ole kiinnostava. Kiinnostavuus on pinnassa, ei sisällössä eikä osaamisessa. Tahdin nopeus on kiinnostava itsessään, kuinka kauan jokin yksi asia kiinnostaa silmää ja aivoja ja miksi, tai kuinka kauan katsomme ympäristöä ja sen tilaa. Onko meidän edes tarkoitus katsoa sitä, sehän on tehty käyttöä varten eli kulutusta. Rahalla luodaan arvo, valitettavan tyhjä sellainen. Mikään ei oikeasti tarkoita mitään, joten älä ota vakavasti yhtään mitään, vaan lillu. Kaikki liukuu ohitsesi.

Nature shot – all is for waste

Everything is irritatingly misplaced.

Everything is irritatingly misplaced. Two old ladies talking behind me in the bus about weather. How it is so warm today, how little green things are appearing, tulips and things like that. Aroma of something burned but I felt empathy and warmth in their worn out fragile voices which I liked. I felt sun through the glass. Mig. groc. and chewable tablets reads on the side of something.

Killer: I will hurt you as bad as I can.

Killer (I will hurt you as bad as I can), pencil on paper, acrylic on canvas, 2022

Collective hating is an interesting phenomenon nowadays. Proportions are somewhat huge and long-lasting. People start hating whoever says the wrong thing. Someone who is an easy target and that tells of the attackers, it is a raging mob against one. They have heard about you, they have never spoken to you, never met you, they have heard about you. This is a system of mutual understanding where speaking against is a big crime. In China they already have social credit system that halts people from saying things and existing. Many clearly want to live in similar kind of system. It is a system of greed posing benevolent Power is intoxicating. Power of having more and more stuff and influence, power over others, what they can say, do, wear, whether they can work, study, move ahead and whatever. I think we are already in that system of credit where you can’t be a dissident without facing a heavy beating. Hurting others is a sport, not unfamiliar to humans at all. It is very human, so much so that many don’t like to look at that part in themselves and like to point the finger. Hurting is done also in the name of social justice by people who do not understand justice nor social. Antisocial behavior is rampant and to be social is not about having like-minded around blocking the unwanted out from all walks of life harassing, bullying and defaming. Nor it is to talk too much and all the time about oneself and one’s feelings. Decent social behavior gives room for other people and is about listening, taking into consideration, giving opportunities and room for others too be seen and heard. Social justice should understand many things which it doesn’t at the moment. This growing pain is hurting a lot of people unnecessarily, but yet again it is very human to hurt unnecessarily, willingly, intentionally and in aims to hurt and make vanish as much as possible. And don’t compare humans to animals, we are far more evil and malicious.