Lumière is a girl in jeans

Lumière a girl in jeans, look at the light. Where do you place your hands?
He asked if I had gone any further.
How far do you want me to go?
What do you think I should find? Is it something particular?

I try to measure every word and I realise it is not enough, because then I am not me, but trying to please someone else.

Vulva is a door. It is a sow and woman riding it. She lifting her skirt with dagger in her hand. Sight chases the demons away. Pit of chastity, of virtue, entry, passage way, vestibule, horns of Uterus, Fallobian tubes, Interforamireum, space between two holes, Genitalis Mueliebris Ambitus. There was a time when female genitalia had no shame, women didn’t have to be ashamed of their bodies.

To take a dip into hellish visual reality, attacked by refined junk. Negativity in the absolute, positive push: finished, perfected, brushed and polished images. Wrappings and packages, boxes, bags, plastics to burst
coverings of great delicacy, of something to want, desirable ones, items to have. Female body is strictly regulated possession, it is under conscious and cruel use of power. We monitor consciously and unconsciously bodies of ours and others to fit in. It is obsessive and means are never enough. This is an everyday topic, topic of attraction and what kind of options we have and are given.

SEN PITUINEN SE

Se märkä, se pieni sukupuolielin, on karvaton ja jalkojen välissä, on kuin ihmisen keskipiste. Siellä minne katse kääntyy mielellään ja tahtoo nähdä millainen se on, virnistää. Jalat harallaan selällään mahallaan levitä,
klitoris pillu piilossa pitää käsillä kiinni tyynystä, huohota tyynyyn.
Käsi sinne valkoinen aivan kuin ei uskaltaisi kun epäröi,
vaaleanpunainen punoittava iho kuin puraistu halkaistu, pakarat, väli-iho. Suuri liha on tunnetta, punoittavaa, kiiltävää ja aistikasta etenkin pitsin läpi. Iso penis on kuin joku elukka.

Löytää sanat työntymiseen toiseen ihmiseen, nussimiseen, yhdyntään, ääniin jotka lähtevät kahdesta ihmisestä, sanotaan kun tuntuu hyvältä, tuntuvaan ääneen jotta tulee selväksi hurmio ja voidaan jatkaa kovempaa, puhua kovempaa, huohottaa, liikkua nopeampaan, hinkuttaa että paranee, liiku makaa sano rakastan sun vittua, kokeile tai muistuta: varo hampaita tai sano: nuole sitä, ota se suuhun tai kaikki tapahtuu niin nopeasti, että ehtii huohottamaan kuin juoksisi ylämäkeen, sylki valuu. Miten rumia sanoja, rumuutta kuvaavia tekoja tai miten ruma voi olla kaunista puremista. Puremista nuolemista hätäisyyttä ja sylkeä.

Sitten hän työntyi koko painollaan suurella kalullaan Janinaan. Janina voihkaisi kuuluvasti. Mies työntyi uudestaan yhä rajummin. Mieskin voihki.

Walking genitalia, it’s a girl!

That we are our parts, especially our sexual organs via which we become sexualized, categorized, labeled adequate or not as it was a natural law and we like animals ready to mate any time, in heat. Sure I’m horny constantly looking for a mate and because I wear miniskirt I’m in for it anywhere anytime, because I am drunk I can be asked for a blowjob at a party in front of everybody (this is sarcasm, a joke, ahahahahah). We either can use that strange revolting reality for our benefit or can not because it is too much to take, too sickening, don’t want to because it may seem secondary to look sexy all the time, smile all the time no matter what. There is so much one can take and understand is fair. For some it is not the most important issue in life to fuck and be fucked. As it happens this desire is just thrown at one’s face, on one’s whole being that this is what you are for, this is what you want too, don’t you. Sexual organ is inside one’s head and it is not turned on by this. The OFF has become so strong that certain types make me nauseating.
When this hyper-sexualized reality of ours is overwhelmingly torturous, monotonous, attacking anywhere every day like it is something we should accept because it is not going away or changing and to get used to something which is abusive is wrong. To oppose it must be done so it hits the core. To use one’s sexuality and body is one way, very effective. What is it that we want to see again? In a manner method truly cuts the thought and anything someone was saying and doing bringing anger or other kinds of reactions. Reactions are very telling. To change reality as we know it is a huge task for the reason of massive overload and brainwash of one truth and the mass of true believers who think are right and are shown what they want. The thought that heteronormative society is absolutely the correct way to have and build society and make human relationships is a default. Strangely because it is the most violent. It is to see people through straight intercourse where women are waiting to be mated and taken, and if they are not there or willing it is something wrong with them, because smiling and making babies is what women must do to appeal and fulfill their meaning, and of course owning things is the same as owning people.
That there are strict codes and rules for people how to be actualized as humans, is violence against all people denying the human right of finding out one’s talents as oneself, denying opportunity and freedom. Now all over the world tendency is anything which is not in the book or is forbidden is out of the order, because it will ruin the whole of society which anywhere is carefully planned and constructed to be something in particular, whether it is to oppress or give opportunity. Who are oppressed and who are given opportunities is the question and other is why. To build society of opportunity for all is difficult to realize and maintain but is not impossible.
Why there are old books that know how people of today must organize their lives? Moral code varies but something repeats everywhere, how women and girls are seen, given chances, treated and what women are in society, what is their role. What people are allowed to do in their lives. That there are people who allow us to do things sounds so distant history, a permission granted, do I have to ask for it, a tragedy is that for example becoming an artist can be a shock to the family, girl wants to go to university because she likes learning and wants to use her talent and she is beaten for it. For a boy encouragement comes in different form than for a girl, though becoming an artist can be a shock whether one is boy or a girl in certain circles. Boys are forced to marry as well, boys are beaten for crying and being too feminine. What life can be and should be is set by moral authorities, ancient traditions, where men versus women dichotomy is always present, how sexes and genders are meant to actualize and exist, co-exist. When one has to struggle as a girl being fitted into something given outside and as a woman struggle still away from constant reality of her sex, sexualization, position, place, normalcy, not to speak of being an artist in such society where ridiculous old-fashioned values and points of views persist to incredible force.

There are those who will use sexuality of others for benefit whatever there is to benefit from sex, a lot obviously. Sexual sides of ours, how many sides are there and who is willing or allowed to explore those yearnings, what can be done to another person and why there is a ban on some things.

 

Isn’t there a sense of doom and forbidden. The most vulnerable part of us is not something to step on and keep quiet about, but we keep on exploiting it. It is triggering.

Genitalia the feared and wanted is the reality and phenomenon in us. Bizarre mixture of resentment, contempt, hate, desire, mystery, unknown territory, private parts and regulated animal heat. What would not be in there? All of us are there probably constantly. A need that comes out from that thing which cannot be said out loud without little feeling of discomfort. We are our sex, we are sexual organs on display, birth of shame, division and roles shared, boxes given even not wanted, but to make us do a proper choice. For our safety and stability of the society we need to protect our sexuality. To get safety via possession and wealth we expose ourselves. Strange contradictions and play which partly turn us on. Is it still a joke or a matter to be solved?

Yes it is a little bit of ha ha and definitely a mess to be cleared. Most people won’t solve the issue for themselves. It is too much to take, too scary and society around goes on judging. It is a burden too heavy to bear in front of others, disconnection to one’s own self, maybe it is property, which is sad, an unwanted part of body very much wanted, a natural and essential part of mind. Who is it for to explore than for everybody. For those who dare to think differently what is that exploring about. When we think we are finding out we may be just repeating patterns given to us. What we are supposed to be doing is on a music video and our sexuality is revealed through the clothes we wear?

Why write about such matter is because sex is the one thing leading our world and the mystery of organs and parts dictating our lives is rather interesting. Parts of humans, which stay hidden, mended, fixed, ridiculed, covered, not looked at, untouched, unholy by many and by those many who have a conservative mind want all of us to share their view. Meaning of one’s sex is such that it rules. Why would your idea of sex rule my idea of it. My gender, organs and sexuality make me and I am being guarded because of my sex. Puzzling is and will be the matter how we become to be ourselves via our sexuality. It is something very complex which is desired to be something very simple.