Pathology out in the open

 

Appearance being so important to us, our minds revolve around how we look and what is thought of us, what is seen as us and how to that sight is reacted. Our appearance is self-expression which we must be very aware of and think what does our expression mean to the viewer. Image of self is to know how much is it a show and what is it meant to do. What can be done with that self we are, the body that is you, how do you feel about you, how do you use your whole self can have interesting conflict there with the inner self, culture we are born into and the rest of us what obviously affect all and those who observe. They all who are watching have a thing to say. It is one kind of totalitarianism to which we volunteer or not. To be able to choose is a luxury, to have freedom of expression. How one thinks of oneself, what is the factual you to be found, visible and how does one evolve, what is the pressure there and who is in command. What is the direction to take up and follow as we are advised to find the best us, the best you, what is that and when do we know ourselves? When nobody accepts you as you are, there is a problem and it is you. It is not the environment, it is what the environment thinks that counts, so change yourself or rebel. You will not find yourself by playing by the rules and expectations that are handed over to you, the conflict is constant and decision is yours up to a point. Somewhere you do not get to choose. This I believe has resulted a society that is afraid of conflict, afraid to disagree and afraid of not always looking one’s best. The best being agreeable and clean. That you there is silently sobbing or anonymously raging but feeling strongly nevertheless. Conflict is instant as our problems are nowadays huge, to solve the arguments we have that are unsolvable because no one is willing to back down.

How to deal with racism, sexism, fascism, fanaticism is to condemn and demonstrate against, but to really live by principles that are not sexist, fascist, racist and fanatic and are against those things may be more difficult than we realise as we do not recognise these things necessarily in our behaviour unless we have analysed and thought through what it is one is doing and thinking and if we do not experience the negative poisonous things ourselves. It is an every day concern how to present oneself, what is the right way, that as how the self is presented and read, what is the actual you, how does it come to be and what can and must be controlled. What is the pretence there, which part of you is to hide or change, what cannot be shown or changed but must be dealt with. What is here to deal with is what to take seriously and what not, what can be seen what is happening. To be hopeful, presentable and accepted, have a positive mental attitude and think about growth, growing. To grow is to add, to be more. How can we be more than what we are is to learn and understand what there is to learn. How to be more when anything extra you thought was growth is unachievable or taken away, extra being the wealth, possessions or the weight of you, your output, your purpose. Weight being fat, trauma, the garbage you wear and eat, say, do and think, the negative thinking, wrong way of living and working etc. The right kind of load to get rid off, we have lots of tutorials online. Often we ourselves do not accept our bodies as we are too close to it, live with it, in it, it with us. We observe ourselves constantly, but still the body is unfamiliar, hostile and strange. It is unfamiliar as an organism which changes constantly. We do not control it, but we do something to it, manipulate it, so it is not natural. Our bodies are under attack by germs, pollution, other people, expectations, food and drink and we are bombarded by experts who give us daily advise how to mould that piece of physique that is you to be something which is maybe the other and more suitable. So how to know you seems a mission impossible, again, but it is one main goal. The impossible there is the unbearable, the uncontrollable, which is especially our feelings. How to understand where feelings come from and what do they mean to our existence is essential and too much disregarded and underestimated still. Emotions are inferior even though they rule. To look like one is not falling apart but in control, one’s life is in order and in fashion. Holding oneself together is to keep composure and keep calm. There is style to it and there are rules. A one piece moving ahead having a life worth living.

For a lot of people life goes around how to look, presenting that as self and how to keep up with that appearance which is presented to us as better and new. Are we owners of self at all or manufactured? To preserve oneself as fresh and as new as possible, presentable, agreeable, then there are people who don’t give in to the culture of appearance, not giving it that much thought, because it is not the most acute problem in a world of problems or blending in is the safest place to be. If sticking out causes problems for you it is a 100% sticking out is unlikely to happen in full, for some hiding is impossible, then you are vulnerable. It is a problem of our world, the magnitude and endless trouble, policing neurotically, hurting and pointing out the difference which is seen a flaw, abnormal and to be cured. How does that other one look like, wrong or right, is he hostile or weaker and where does he or she stand? What is that look about, what is it telling you and why do you read appearances are questions we should think more closely because we think with our eyes not necessarily analytically, definitely not free of judgment. Why bulling for example based on appearance continues to be the most often and frequent issue for many, bullying manifesting as power as it is the easiest way to put someone down making remarks on appearance and what kind of neuroticism this event in human behaviour creates. It is what we see of a person first, the look of his or hers. What is there to do than look, to look better and not be pushed aside, look like something else, you changes when you change your wardrobe and what is good in doing so is the feel relieved. What is the best, what is the wanted, why it is not you and how to feel about that strange fact that we look like something, different is the personal but unwanted. To comprehend meaning of variety, difference, understand difficulty of having an out of norm quality, seeing ‘obscurity’ and accept seems to be more difficult than expected to for people, to handle and grow not to pay attention, for grown-ups and for children it is almost equally hard. We grow into this culture where pointing out and looking at appearance is important.

Our appearance is the book that is read. It is about knowing. Something admirable must be in you and the personal come out if you dare. What it does for you, this open personal, in your life depends on what you show, how far can we go in showing or revealing ourselves, what is the limit there and what is obscenity. What do you get or don’t get because of what you look like and what you show. Usually it is about sex. Sex has a lot to do with how we look at people, how we look for people and what we look at, are interested in. Attractiveness is the thing, a thrill, to attract people is to entertain. Interesting is the original and the personal still do not obey rules of your own necessarily but the aesthetics of the culture, rules of somebody else, which of course must be the case for us to live in some kind of order. They say people find confidence via looks, they find work and partnership, fulfilment and belonging. People who have found their confidence after having lost the fat on them from the right places truly have felt miserable. There are right places on people and then there are wrong places. It is a competition, an obsession, a way to look at bodies and faces. I have been wondering how superficial is this need, an urge to fit in, that we are seekers for safety is to wear a mask. Visible and too visible can both be too much in finding a comfortable existence, but comfortable does not mean having a quest for growth and change. This search for a look is to make an impression and be accepted and it is about our freedom that is granted for us modern individuals, to be ourselves, find ourselves and what to do with the random stuff that disturbs is to get rid off it. That what is ugly cannot show. Conflicted by finding security, symmetry and risking it. How lost are we with our values that we think are what we are and are good. Do we look like what we are on the inside, in denial, inside out as we seem to think as confessional is the new authentic. The inside we like to hide but connect with those others who feel the same. What is private nowadays anyway. When people comment other people’s appearances out loud they are also getting naked by taking position of the oppressor. That is the moment when people reveal themselves without realising it fully, I think. They think they are powerful in this moment of judgment, that is the trap. The first judgment made on someone is immediate and it is about appearance. We make it obviously naturally and from superior place of entitlement. We measure the one coming up, value of that person. Those who look weird are thought to be weird as people. For men looking scrubby is allowed in totally different way than for women. For sexes looks mean different things. To notice the arrogance, violence and cruelty there is makes the world a violent place very near.

 

All you need, all you want. Celebrity operates surgery of souls.

1.Heart of a superstar. A dream, an obsession, what is the impact, what is the thing wanted. Introduction to sex-filled culture that is not able to shake sexism off.
2.How can a woman be powerful: Her figure, waves of her.
3.Marketing her forcefully, emancipation to have it all. Personal problematic of womanhood, race, size, voice, body parts, attitudes towards feminine and intellect. Diversity there, what kind of voices do we hear and what is silenced?

1.Heart of a superstar. A dream, what is the impact. Introduction to sex-filled culture that is not able to shake sexism off.

A popular more than agreeable person called a star when she is in the spotlight is something to idolize, envy, look up to and imitate. To be looked at is a curious place. What are we looking at? What is in the person we see first? How our conceptions and biases work and get formed via celebrity culture which highlights talent which sometimes seems a bit thin. Is it a persona or an image what is wanted a person to be and what is the self we like to emphasize but to my understanding do not fully accept or comprehend? What is the mystery here or is the issue that there is no mystery? A place of high expectations and to die for. Womanhood is like a corridor where goals are set according to how much adoring and sex appeal one is able to achieve. This feminine mind is a tunnel where prize is the perfect life defined by images, so tunnel vision is not only a male characteristic. To want that image given on you, to be you as it is something professional and authentic-like, seems to be within reach when your body is shaped into ideal form with all means possible, making a woman a package who still pleases those who watch her, pleases herself because she is liked after what she has done to herself and that there are people watching her as nothing is wrong which is pleasing to her, everything is right. No mystery here, how do we prove the pointlessness of all this torture and culture of pleasing the eye which is sanitizing the female? Only thing mysterious is how addictive and thorough sold ‘perfection’ is as it is seen as an individual choice, which it of course is, creating persona that is interesting and truly amiable but dislikes herself. Sanitizing women is about getting rid off ugliness on women’s bodies which is hair, fat, colour, asymmetry to find harmonious body. The whole process is anything but harmonious, it is a battlefield which does not lead to harmony or symmetry it just looks that way. For human mind to find harmony in variety and the thought that flaws we see are part of harmony is difficult to accept. We want to demolish visible flaws which we think are ugly. The very idea of how aesthetics of the contemporary people gets made is disturbing or when do we begin to control ourselves and look for fitting in and why we think we should?

It is voluntarily to want the place of an object as it is lucrative to be one, to be a desirable product but human, vendible living machine, cash apparatus whose income is one cause and effect, money followed, listened to and listed. One after another constantly appearing to keep the entertainment industry happy, happiness being the ultimate goal which both happiness and unhappiness and how did it get that way is the interest of the media. For instance how unhappiness/life comes across successful people and how we like to know all about it. Does our curiosity reach further than voyeurism and poking, does this result self-reflection or just posing a mouth to feed as we are curious for a reason and this is entertainment. My interest lies in the desire, what brings us joy in the visual and what kind of visual are we creating which is the joyful or otherwise something we like so much? Also, it is interesting how we judge people according to their gender and what gets revealed of them who judge and of those who are judged, it is the thought that someone under evaluation and judging is weak, vulnerable yes, but weak very possibly not. It takes a lot of strength to want to be judged, or even unwillingly endure judging from day-to-day.

How men are manly and women are feminine in this picture, how they make theatre of their gender and media presence or desiring that spotlight. What makes a stupid cunt is only to follow instructions. A victorious businessman or woman who can be accomplishing and making a fortune, being a mastermind of his, her plan, has also been following  instructions to culture and has exploited them to his or her benefit, this is what is admirable in celebrity culture for many. How does this exploiting happen? Celebrity still has something of his or her own left which is their power. The stereotypes are there to abuse as media is more conservative than it should be, change there is also quite deliberately slow. Do gender roles and stereotypes wear off as women have to behave like men to achieve the gold medal pedestal? Can we rise above of what we see gender is and think it through to be more flexible and imaginative? To want to see the same over and over again is something happening, change is there in a way and something we might eventually get rid of is the narrowing of human tightly and neatly. Or is this the very issue the simplifying of us which we like, a hero but still an everyday person, unproblematic with opportunities? Women who do not play according to the script and assumptions in real life or within celebrity culture are categorized crazy, unmarketable, the word mental is often in use, stupid, weird, difficult bitches who deserve their ill-treatment. But to see difference an opportunity is the it thing.

Of course, ill-treatment comes for all, it is seen a possibility to abuse someone who is stepping outside the box doing out of the norm thing, a weakness or illness to exclude. Being gay or being caught with a prostitute are delicious topics as they still pose something to hide, be ashamed of and be secretive about. What is prostitution in comparison to entertainment industry as it is one wonders. It is very much about sex and selling it.

To understand the scope and meaning of sex in our culture is to live as a woman. It knocks out the easily thought suggestions of rapid change. The thinking or not thinking, calculating and manipulating behind there is felt and what is not lived because of unwritten rules women must follow in fear of punishment. Change is not celebrated or variety, open-mindedness can be found less and less and art for example scandalizes sex although naked body is its number one topic and sexism is very much alive, denying it does not remove the problem. How important sex is to us and what it stands for reveals itself in how obsessed and flammable the topic is and how hypocritical and blinded our thinking can be. For example, YouTube has a ban policy against nudity and sexual content but obviously this does not apply to music videos. A force in our culture which we must face and feel is the denial of pleasure and on the other hand indulgence as much as is possible and afforded. How do we do the facing of our urges, acts, pleasure-seeking, right and wrong and what do our desires mean for us and make us do create a whole cultural backbone or book of codes to know. What is the moral guide and authority there, what is our own knowing of sex and sexuality, our attitudes towards this undeniable thing in us, what about it must be respected, restricted, understood and what do we fear about it. Fear is to be exposed and violated, humiliated and abandoned, left without, ignored, hurt. Into what do we grow knowingly and unknowingly as it seems there are patterns that repeat as one is born female one is born into assumptions which are extremely difficult to alter and fight against. Having tried answers found do make one go bonkers as assumptions are as stupid as they can get. To go with the flow is a safe bet, maybe, but is it the right one, definitely not. To go far gets interesting meanings for women, how far can women go and what are the goals for women, why are women any different from men in regard to capabilities and interests?

Woman or girl walks down the street, she is looked at in a certain way. Why can’t you be happy about how you are wanted, is the question asked. I bury my face in to my hands and I can’t believe this is happening. Woman and her role is vitally important in understanding humans, the violence she faces because of her gender, because of this violence and constant knowing of that she is a target woman should be happy. My definition of happiness is different. Everything on her is a message, she is a moving message. How these messages are read and what does a miniskirt mean makes living as a woman complicated. It can mean that man can put his hand in between your legs and think you must like it because he likes it. Having your hair open can mean you are in a good mood and enjoying your blessed freedom. Sex is violence and aggression, it is to take over and own, define to death. To be vulnerable is to get hurt and grow sick of all this. System justifies men to be the wanting part by which women are seen as servants. Sexism in Finnish culture has been hard to tackle because coherence within the male group is not against it. In a group, males cherish sexism of theirs, it makes them manly. It is their right, tradition, fun and nature. Female point of view is laughed at as it is weakness. Calling women and girls whores is normal. It comes effortlessly without shame for the male, shame is always on the female part. Woman is invalid and handicap who is not defended especially when alone. A woman invading spaces for men is a mistake of hers. This attitude is clearly taking place at workplaces where women go and do men’s jobs, they steal jobs from men. Naturalness is emphasized, natural power and physicality of men, the unnatural gay culture is openly hated. Feminine male is weak and not a true man. True man is nevertheless a myth and cover-up, fragility is too much to bear and be shown, but it is there, of course we are not machines, yet. To make it simple cover-up is a lie, a pretense to keep alive the myth. It represents the things that can’t be seen in daylight and admit to.

What do women contribute to changing this? It does not happen by taking sides of men as women can use sexism for their ends. To take on beauty ideals that please male gaze is part of this sexist culture, that is weakness when it is the only way to find confidence. Lack of support is telling misogyny is rampant and female body is factory goods. What women could be giving to each other than the hate? When culture is more into hating femininity finding your way gets lonely. How do we own femininity if it is for pleasing purposes? Banning openly sexual feminine might be working against women. How could female sex be celebrated in any other way than sexual and open? Hating and loathing the feminine women because they stick out and are unashamed. Damage is to celebrate and make more damage as damage is what is the threat here, to be damaged goods. For many being born female is the ultimate damage and disappointment as we have our individual preferences and rules for feminine. How is this hate possible today and continues to live? I have been wondering as male dominance is enforced and chances for women’s voices reduced which voices are to make a difference favourable to women and children.

When woman is not having sex, she is a nun or there is something wrong with her, she is repulsive, frigid, cold or pathetic. Sex defines her, how she rejects or welcomes and what there is to reject and welcome. Something negative is there and must be found. Woman who is not utilizing her asset her femininity in the normal discreet way is weird and can be openly shamed a whore. Woman still must want a man but not too much, you’ll be seen a nymphomaniac, again via illness. She is the weak one who wants to be penetrated and must like it and this is like a joke. This is what you want, isn’t it, is the question, when man sends a picture of his penis to a woman online. Obviously, many think they know what woman wants and that is the obvious flaw in their thinking. The total misunderstanding, underestimating and misjudging of the female sex is in reducing her quality only sexual. If she is not wanting this she is ignoring the best thing life has to offer her and denying male pleasure makes men angry. The fucking is very much that is male but it can be imposed on females as something women desperately want and can be left without and there, women are weak again hanging on to men for rescue. Her place is the place of being desired by man, wanted, look at, evaluated and rejected. Ignoring or opposing this mind fuck is nearly impossible, aggressiveness and sadism is thorough and justified. Her fuckableness being the currency she uses, she is evaluated by women and men equally and that evaluation she must also do herself on herself. She must know what is expected of her. Do the right thing but nothing is right.

To find perfection there must be something done wrong, as Žižek puts it: you might think to lose couple of Kilos you would be perfect, but what then what is the perfection. If woman does not look like every-woman, a role is invented for her by which she is ailed, it is almost impossible to accept her as she is. She must be moulded. Nevertheless, the wrong is in her with her it is not in the culture, how woman is treated and viewed, how she treats and views herself. She makes us look at her and it is her fault, she looks at her and what happens when she looks at herself? To think what is love and where sex fits in, the beginning or end, does love justify sex and why harassment is an operation which is also justified and questioning is seen hateful. Why make women feel threatened, just because they are women and not men? That is what is done to women, made them feel scared, timid and unmovable. Paradoxes and contradictions there get lost for many, as well as for me. Repetitious mind games that genders must play strike as really odd, cruel abuse of power and vulnerability.

2.How can a woman be powerful: Her figure, waves of her.

Faces are changing but something more important is not that much. Standards for beauty, what is success or good entertainment or what it is to be good, how far can we go in being spectators of public figures and how we perceive our position as spectators as it is justified as a right to have. A trend to keep up with, speed and a sparkling idea, embodiment of a kind of perfection which must be matched or if not it will be noticed and talked about, flaw is horror. Neuroticism is part of this system and it shows which rises questions. The same questions are asked over and over again which concern eating, dating, weight loss and marriage. Exceptional people whose blooming sexuality and eroticism are at the core of this event even though there might be art there these famous people do for work. It is their sexual preferences, sex appeal and lives which are seen as more important to headline. A tale of her that needs to be told is how she maintains that image of hers and what goes on behind. That is one kind of shuttle into vast space of a market where all the stars may shine for us and share their blessings like refreshments we cannot live without.

Legends to look up to, astronomical positions of stars making fashion, future of what moves us or does not. What the mass of people like to see and hear, will see, hear and like, remember if making memories and moments worthwhile is the business. Stars lead the way as entrepreneurs, talents found, visionaries, makers, wisdom there is popular culture banalities, truth tellers, maybe, storytellers, wise men and women who taste the sweetest fruits of mankind and capitalism and get our constant attention provided by media, kindly. Fame and fortune, full house and flush, flash of spotlight, hurry for a new trend to make a difference, business and action in the middle of it all, moving forward. In the middle of it all are Swarovski crystals on stockings, strings and on toned bodies moving as moments of pleasure happen for the audience, creating the moment of now, witnessing and being part of nowness, a kind of freedom experience where everything is possible, which reflects this day, fantasy and values of ours, rush of ours to get instant gratification, importance and joy. Fun of having a tiny grip of life’s nonsense, lightness and puffing breath of meaninglessness, heaviness in a way and away with it. Circus of big money performers pays off bringing moods and something to dream about. Celebrity culture is all about recycling clichés, idols, idiosyncrasies, stereotypes of gender roles and body language, dance moves, sticking to straight sex and relationships, secrets, weddings, surviving break-ups. Picturing a fantasy of a perfect life in music videos taking a stand, interviews and paparazzi shots and portraying happiness and what is success: it is to be seen and being paid for it. Things people wish to hear about and dream of on a very infantile instant gratification kind of way, a primal level of penetration of what?

Who is the most outrageous, who reveals most, in a way groundbreaking but not innovative, revealing the most, sexiest and fuckable babe who can sing, oh. That is something spectacular. Nothing too difficult, stay simple. Who is the most wanted piece of ass is easy to understand, it is the very basic urge. It is a modern world sickness and therapy in one package, without healing. At best art of entertainment offers contemporary society a possibility of studying mind itself if we were willing to take a better look at ourselves. Limits of what is tolerated, how women are treated, how they want to be treated and seen, pinpointing the achy spots there on display if you know how to look. Taboos and prohibitions there are concerning womanhood and sexuality and are inescapable, practically force-fed. Sexism, rape, violence, diminishing, teenage pregnancy, abortion, racism, inequality and in Beyoncé’s case modern-day feminism to tackle hard issues sure, and to make love for all. She loves her husband,(which is good to know, note since feminists are known of hating men). Strength of women is in their sexuality and how they are in control of their bodies and how body is presented is the message. Human rights of women, which are the same as everybody elses’, are important. Freedom of speech and freedom of expression are almost there behind the corner. How critical big money entertainment allows its stars to be depends on how successful they are. How critical big money artists actually dare to be – not very or not at all. To be critical towards the business world and society does not prevent from being successful, or does it? Feminism surely is the strong hate word, banned ideology. Controversy and heavy critique can make tsunami-like response in sales. Who would want to change a world that moves with such easy recipes. Place for criticism is easily found. It is there by feminists, anti-capitalists, socialists and anarchists and is targeted against the full-blown pornographic imagery of entertainment, which also represents all of the business world, all of economy. One can see erotic self-expression as freedom or exploitation, admiration for notorious crime-filled underworld, prostitution, drugs, guns and fast cars and hot babes in furs in tiny swimsuits sucking their fingers. Power of female entertainers is much boosted with explicit contents, leather, pvc-outfits, clear references to prostitution and other dangerous living. Not much is left for imagination. In a way music videos work as short movies and they should be viewed as such. The art of video is art of advertising. All of the movie is an ad. Direct tutorials of how to live, narratives for youth of today. We are what we consume. Maybe power of this kind which reaches tens and hundreds of millions of people can be questioned rightfully as it should. Are we worried who is under influence and how do those affected take the impact, message and cultural load given? It seems so very light. Or should it be called cultural task of figuring out moral codes and what to do.

Luring pictures of a way of life with riches and enjoyments make an odd parallel universe and it leaves the millions of individuals wondering how to get there and should we. Main subject to argue being the objectification of women and that telling that they are in charge, misogyny and discrimination of women is a hard one to solve. Conversations can and must be taken over, over and over again what is done to women and femininity if anything, what happens to it? What is control in this picture? What can and must be expressed in terms of sex and gender? What remains unsaid, what is too touchy a topic? Why there still is such naivety about expressing sexuality as music video prove, which stereotypes reveal and why am I bothered by this as change there is more happening in body shape than anything else? Naivety that brings out immature brutality is the issue. Why those who put sex in front rely on naive lust and fantasy and call it liberation? Woman crawling on a beach like a horny animal means she is free (Beyoncé on her video Drunk in love)? What is she portraying is a famed woman on her way to her husband saying she has been drinking and thinking. Some kind of everyday imagery which I can like or dislike? If anything, the ordinary is there.

To create monetary value of this magnitude we have to define perfection, frame it, follow the idea of simplicity stereotyping characters. Perfecting money-making machinery is to take and make explicit content for all viewers. What do we want and how do we want it is what we need to know how to get it? Define sexy, sexy defining, everything as wealth and possession is what we want. That is what we need to be, in charge and owning. We have to define the body and get it, measures to get it for ourselves have a cost.

Stardom is all about the journey and how it is made and told, a trick of posing, trick of luring and possessing. Beating and eating one’s opponents and to become imitated and imitate is to admire. Is there place for truth in this competition and know what is good? How about virtue? Not to worry, virtues are well represented in the tough field of music industry, women there are Madonnas and Holy Marys. The thing is how to define them, their ecstasy. That is the way to look good in the public eye, have respectability of not revealing it all. How to monetize everything and that is the biggest virtue of all, other is secondary, unless it serves becoming rich and famous. There is truth to human nature here which puts self-interest at first. It is truth of theirs who make the contents. Truth of one’s own is a kind of secret issue, which no other completely knows about but is guessing. It is everybody’s own truth which people live by? That is the ideal, to live a lie but be confessional. There is some truth to that people can identify as confessional TV is the reality. We get our morals and ideals as we are educated by this the society and this strange family we belong to. Virtues get redefined as much as do lives we want to live. Fairytales and dreams do come true reflecting reality which is harsh. This is all old news and repetitious patterns of what is human desire, folklore to continue, cruelty we possess and the infinite mess of human psyche of wanting to be adored, successful and listened to and is a never-changing tune. It is to avoid boredom by having lots and things to do. Celebrity and pop culture change all the time, but what is the change other than new faces, gimmicks and beats. People, who want to move away from silence and loneliness, away from being forgotten, seem compulsive escapists who are dictated by fear of FOMO.

Do celebrities now have other things to say than the stars before them in history? There definitely are more of them, of stars. Exposure is extreme as is the need to be there. That life is more than just work seems impossible because we are brands. It is an ideology moulding our existence effectively but to dare break that mould is a must. That we are allowed to enjoy ourselves in this way as we are is ludicrous, embrace ourselves and do whatever we want is of course a seductive motto to live by: we can do what we want and know what is enjoyment. Are celebrities looked up to because of their message and the fact that dreams do come true, because they bring real amusement, are truly approachable, intellectually interesting, calculating and aware as we should be, produced objects as we should be, themselves and natural, or is there just a palette of plenty which is overflowing of whatever might sell and whatever urge qualifies? A give and take, a shot in the dark as we are desperate. Fair bargain is not the deal and amusement for one’s soul can get boring, to have fun, to dance and sing along, enjoy for a while.

A successful pop diva is in control without anybody’s permission doing her thing. She likes what she does and is good at it, what is the good? Is she in search of something new, original expression, invention of hers? To invent again something that works so beautifully in repeat, to invent beauty and energy. Feminine seduction via curves, clothes, videos and flying hair, fierceness and walk infant of everybody. Is she looking for a perfect match which is her husband, ecstasy between her and the audience, expressing herself through erotic (exotic) dancing, tiny wardrobe and emotional lyrics. Is her desire to be penetrated in public by her husband? Is she being raped by looks revealing more than gossip pages do? She penetrated, the one who works a penis as she appears to be and is in charge. That is a domino act. She has multiple roles to choose from and she does work both ways, being pleased and being a pleaser. She is a receiver and provider of pleasure so honey and bee is accurate metaphor. A bitch and public whore speaking her mind, saint mother, a wife and a business woman who roles all professional pop stars must master and state on stage and in real life. It is mastery of womanhood and presentation. Mastering and toying with ideas and ideals. You cannot do music with your clothes on. All that she can be is what she is, what you can see. It is expected of her to have layers to peel, veils and canvases to fly with her hair with the help of a wind machine. Multifaceted public image to talk about make an interesting personality, who is she we wonder and want to know. Someone, who is not emptied at one stroke, with one look, pages of magazines. There is desire to fill up the world and airwaves.

3.Marketing her forcefully, emancipation to have it all. Personal problematic of womanhood, race, size, having a voice, how body parts are us, attitudes towards feminine, talent and intellect. Diversity there, what kind of voices do we hear and what is silenced? Why do you dye your hair blond?

What is talent? What kind of talent has value, whose talent is noticed? I ask because talent for artist, to become an artist, talent is something person has to know having and it must be something which definitely evolves all the time. Knowing what to do with what one has no matter what anybody says and everybody will have an opinion, I guarantee you. Also, society places talents into categories important and less important meaning money-worthy and not, primary being the tech and mathematical skills, those are to make a career that produces trustworthy employees in the eye of society, respectable, money-making career-focused citizens that benefit the economy. Artist is on very shaky ground as it is the irrational, emotional, even sick and an untrustworthy character who is expected to fail, and money comes or usually doesn’t. What kind of package is needed to be in the talented category? Does an artist need to have a statement of her own to be sold or is it rather no statement at all, at least a political one? What kind of message is the sellable one? A PR strategy which leads to success is a curious one and it varies within arts. Provide stories and solutions, behaviour, coverage and narratives of lives lived preferably by divas, destinies and making the world a better place.

Times of moral crisis: Explicit contents, sexuality for sale and how it adds up with feminism and art. What does feminism represent for a pop star and for the music industry? How can feminism be implemented in any other way than refusing to work as a sex goddess or is the role of sex goddesses included in feminist frame as choice? It is good to question patriarchy from that widely seen and admired position, it is not useless. Question still is what changes in that process and using words that scare people such as feminism. When an idol who is also a sexy product and begins her feminist practice in her work it raises attention and questions, or has it been feminist all along without possibility to declare it?

Ms Winhoffer says Beyonce’s body yesterday represents a marked change from her more muscular shape of last year. ‘We can see a major change in her body from previous years. She represents female empowerment and embodies it on stage, her body is lean and elongated but most importantly, feminine. ‘She was able to keep her V shape while maintaining her rear, keeping it plump and lifted.’ She says this new silhouette is the holy grail for a female client.” Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2546821/Leaner-leggier-curvy-Top celebrity-trainer-reveals-secret-Beyonces-showstopping-Grammys-body.html#ixzz36Vsxip00 Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail

To begin a dive into the world of Beyoncé is to begin with what it is that she represents and what is the place she is at. Her skin is the first issue, her voluptuous body supports her music as she is very much visual as vocal. To analyze Beyoncé is to analyze the whole of pop celebrity culture from a female and a black singer point of view, from race, origin, scenic point of view, art and sex combined. She is part of something and has brought a lot of new with her such as her extravaganza and not giving a toss will the political effect, her sales. She brings in the political side without it being strange but organic although it is flammable, explosive and pushes to look at her making others to do the same as it now is safe to do so, at least safer than before. She is with the whole of black community, she is not alone in this. Safe is what pop stars are usually all about, a comforting voice and sight, message and vision to dance to. To engage in feminism which threatens all of the values entertainment stands on and men especially, causes all kinds of reactions as is expected. As pop wants only the adoring wave of consumer love feminism is not the place to cash in. Popular culture which today strongly parades out from the United States is political. Music business is still sensitive to women being political demanding their rights. It is the one industry that thrives despite financial lows but how much experimenting is allowed for artists must be asked. Glitter and gossip stick like glue and scandals sell and are for many the blissful ignorance people like to grant themselves taking peeks in to grand lives with voyeurs’ victory and thrill. To give a remark or thought on anybody is a right to have to feel better than, critique is different from ranting. Culture of ours, nature of ours is to be interested in other people’s affairs and have an opinion. Entertainment making people famous, celebrities and brands are money-making culture which many want to be part of. Fame is obsessive, addictive and tempting, it is a perfect stage to be outrageously  political and critical. Culture of prestige and opulence is so attached to our daily routines as spectators on the side of all that is everyday, our commercial capitalism being vividly flat, that it could be strange not to have the phenomenon of far away beautiful people and their luxury to watch. Stardom obsessed with the surface, the spectacular shining thing making money and preserving eternal youthfulness, it would be foolish not to use the opportunity and have an agenda of political.

The US and GB probably have the most followed musical scenes world-wide with massive PR and machinery that produces selection of stars made possible by endless media coverage, competitions, gossip and chit-chat and social structure that makes people pursue grand dreams which do not take note to class issues, to be grander than themselves. Interviews, documentaries, photographs, imitators, fans, fan art, gossip, stories, dreams, shows and how to become a star tutorials: how to be like a famous person with healthy appetite and an attitude. Stardom cult is defining the whole of America and Europe and has a significant meaning economically, psychologically and culturally. Religion with gods and goddesses is a significant phenomenon for the whole world in good and bad. The essence and idea are our need to be adored as spectacular and unique and the ability to fall in love with an image, persona, character, actress and to know that image, relate and feel free. To make the image your own, know it by heart, own it. Our need to worship images tells how much our thinking is guided by what we see. Today we are shown a lot of visuals and it is a fanfare. We are quite fragile in the sense what comes to being manipulated. We are put in a fragile situation, inescapable, unavoidable. Easy to manipulate is what we are desired to be (lack of confidence is an easy target) and wanted to stay that way. That is what Hollywood and music business is about, manipulation of souls and minds. Where does the industry want to lead us or push us? Is it the logic of business and politics today, take the public by leash as people need to be led? We are told to be nice and you’ll get candy.

Entertainment disguises itself as rescuer of hearts and souls with message girl-you-are-sexy when you do this and you can do whatever you want when you are like this girl in this picture. One has to want the right thing, be the right kind. There are particular right things that we pay attention to, sex, money and fame, popularity, positivity and love with tiny inch of philosophy of how to be a good person. We like to want what we see that glorious person has and be like her for a moment. To get her like me, to get to be like her. How much people control their desire to identify as a pop star and what does it tell of a mass of people who want to identify with a singer and image of her. Is it a secret desire, a fantasy, sexual or ideological, or is altogether naive to think people are that dissatisfied with themselves that they want to replace their identity with someone’s on a magazine and on a stage? Someone heroic, who teaches a mass of people to be heroic and stand up for themselves, be creative. Maybe, but when one takes a look at what kind of influence celebrities have on what people wear, eat, drink, how people like to live and do for living, how much gossip sells and is followed, the image of what is going on in people’s minds is crooked and infantile. Question is how creative can one be in frame of such order of strict perfection? What does it do and why does it do what it does. How has it become the way it is? What kind of women succeed in that particular business and what could be called success? Success cannot be minor. It has to be grand. Music industry is one of the most lucrative businesses if one manages to hit the jackpot as Beyoncé has done. Should we start with her passion for her art and what she has to say. She has a very similar kind of message as many other female superstars in music: female strength, expression of her sexuality and why is it important one may ask. To pose and act female strength in a manner it does not fall flat, but has a figure, a form in a thin world, not a pancake. Body that wobbles in right places as it is shaken in a dance. Furious, decisive, girly with attitude to illegal scale. Spread your legs, show your legs, shake that tush, reveal your skin. We imagine your bush. It is now internet’s basic method, a celebrity procedure, image galleries all over show this so what is new? A production line of lookability, likeability, profile managing, success managing, a celebrity survival game, which is also our survival game and we appropriate the methods of the most successful.

Who will make it to be seen. Essence of celebrity culture is to be seen and desire that, to stand as an ad post. To stand in front of all on a wall covered with company names, in between of photographers and a fence who snap pictures of these ladies and gents on red carpet. How and why someone is powerful, more powerful than most is a tricky issue but this is power. To come up with conclusion and decision on influence that a person has. How that influence is measured is an interesting case of visibility and earnings, which are public information largely on display stating the fame. Is it due to what that powerful person has to say, possibly some. What do celebrities who now get the most coverage in media have to say. What is their message? What is the message of celebrity culture as a whole? Its influence is massive. Financial winnings made within the culture of entertainment for the artists and their creators can be whopping. Industries flourishing out from movies, sports and music such as fashion, magazines and other merchandise do well with right face. What is the real power here is an interesting thing to go through. Could the answer be as simple as who does best financially and what kind of message does that person have. What kind of story and continuity person’s career has had and will have. Future prospects and who is listening. The list of the most powerful celebrities by Forbes from year 2014 introduces Beyoncé the most powerful celebrity. Grounds for her number one spot lie on her 95 concerts, the released new album called Beyoncé, her fragrances Heat, Pulse and Rise, clothing collection, which all contributions have been financially very successful. Estimated 115 million in earnings during one year is according to Forbes is an extremely powerful thing. Since 2014 her earnings have kept growing. She is made of gold, is golden and a high school dropout who has had since early age support for her talent and dream, so I don’t know what the self-made means at this point. No celebrity is self-made. https://www.forbes.com/profile/beyonce-knowles/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/zackomalleygreenburg/2017/06/12/why-diddy-is-no-1-on-the-2017-celebrity-100-list/

Forbes is a magazine focusing on finance which is very male centered field, focusing on businesslife providing entrepreneur insight such as quotes of the day. Its specialty are lists of successful people, information for the world’s business leaders how success is made and what it is. Figures are mentioned daily million and billions. Beyoncé defines herself as a businesswoman and through that image and role a strong independent woman whose strength is large part of her agenda. “It’s a good year to be famous. Over the past 12 months, the world’s 100 highest-paid celebrities pulled in $5.15 billion–more than the combined GDP of Belize, Liberia and Gambia–led by Diddy, who clocked a career-best $130 million. Beyoncé and J.K. Rowling round out the top three with $105 million and $95 million, respectively.” https://www.forbes.com/sites/zackomalleygreenburg/2017/06/12/full-list-the-worlds-highest-paid-celebrities-2017/

Gender, sexual orientation nor racial issues do not show to be such a large stepping stone. At least what comes to making entertainment for the masses. It has become an advantage to be part of a group that once or still is seen weak. There has been empowerment and strength. Idols do empower and encourage, so maybe they are worth all the money they make. That could be one point Forbes is making by its list and yet again only point is to be as rich as is possible. This is how one succeeds nowadays. How does glamour, luxury and beauty businesses benefit from all the bling accessory advertising and music videos represent is one thing. It is a lifestyle presenting moves and rhythm. It is clear since the beginning of her career independence and strength of the feminine have been core issues in her music but that is the case for many successful female artists to focus on showing their capability as women. What comes to celebrities Beyoncé is the one of the few who publicly state and promote feminism and calls herself a feminist. In her videos and music she is openly sexual, feminine and posing her assets to the world as any pop star. This way looking she is very similar to Rihanna, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj who all are artists and personalities creating in a business where women to have a voice of their own is new. Feminism in this landscape is a curse word banned and feared until now. Beyoncé has made it sink into the world of plastic and money in a new way. Even though it is clear feminism has never been absent as women have had to struggle their way up to the top. Women breath feminism whether they like it to admit it or not. We are bound to reasons behind feminism and what it has accomplished in over a hundred years and continues to accomplish.

The United States offers a peculiar scene to dream for many and reach out the impossible, but very few do make it big of course. Yearly listings of financially the most successful people in entertainment are part of making that dream a sensational happening and news worthy. To be part of something admirable and huge, that happiness, feel the hard work, luck, visibility and talent. How does power manifest itself by women, via women, via visibility and what is the stage women can be powerful on? What is female power and do women have it in the end? Do women make decisions and decide for their work when to catch the eye is one aim? Who is the weak in this image of making it? Who is stepped over in this business driven world as it is a struggle for survival? Women have battled with those who have power over them, who have justified their power with God’s word and justice from above. That woman is not capable of taking care of herself, making decisions not even over her own life is deeply build-in. The repetitious mantra of having control and power over one’s body, life, work and art is rightful, but it is still a mantra, if women do not know what it is to have control and know for yourself. The opposition is bigoted patriarchy and religious tradition, God’s word. How are we affected? Part of entertainer’s job is to entertain. The more it gets noticed the more political it is. The more people listen the more there is reason to put out a message to be heard. To share is political act, to act for all the oppressed couldn’t be more needed. The more people do not pay attention the more they have to be shaken and woken up. How does entertainment shake the world other than making sexual advancements, opening a blouse, taking it off and showing genitalia. Nothing out of the ordinary. We have seen it. The most ordinary landscape on the scene. Do they who create this visual spectacle for us speak for free sex, for prostitution and sex trade, sexual expression and what it is to be a woman? Is that freedom to be able to show skin, sexual freedom to be taken over and had?

Beyoncé showing her buttocks in her show becomes a hit in YouTube. It does not make the society more approving. Our obsession over sex could still not be more obvious. A matter talked over in talk shows and by journalists it is the very scandalous topic and interest for all. Scenery on many music videos of female pop singers is exactly from a red light-district, a stereotyped sex worker image who is a fantasy for an everyday woman and man, as dancers wear the same all showing outfits, posterior-revealing lingerie. It is the latest superstar fashion on stage, wearing very little. Position as standing back against the audience, bending one’s back and looking the crowd, gazing behind one’s shoulders and singing holding the microphone almost licking the microphone, it is naughty. This said sounds if I disapprove. I disapprove the cliché, the repetition. I dislike the ongoing similarity and unwillingness to move ahead, unwillingness to push any envelop despite saying so. That envelope has been opened and seen, stamped and sent. Lack of any kind of self-criticism nor effort to do differently. Is that power, to be a repetitious? Is that showing the world how to be wanted in a right way? To portray women singing about relationships, having sex, breaking up and being still strong independent women is almost all there is to this empowerment. Sexual expression, what is it exactly? And why is it empowerment and not sexism? Empowerment through sexism taken over is a strange thought, but there is no other way as sexism is power. Sexism which is a force used against women to have them, to possess them as silent bodies. Sexual expression is in a way an idea of getting by pleasing in the right way and doing wrong, being a bad girl. To express this is to state that one is a sexually free, an open-minded being with desires and willingness to use these desires for one’s benefit still willing to please the other, be at service of the audience.

It is a one thing that women are noticed exclusively because of their sex, having a closer look into their wardrobes looked at as deep as it goes. Watched over, guarded but not kept safe, gazed curiously, jokingly, teasingly. Entertainment is the ultimate pleaser of the senses and flattening of them. To please is to get the wanted thing and impact is to make one’s way. Pop singers and performers like to state that they are in control of what they do. What does it mean exactly to be in control of one’s work as a performer is to have an idea of why one does what one does and how to get attention. Is it possible to know the amount of control one has? Isn’t it an illusion of having power when it is actually other people who make you by choosing to look at you, think about you, idolize and evaluate what you do, liking or not liking it, judging, remembering or forgetting. So to talk about control is a modern capitalist dream and necessity to live by as one wishes but control is not having freedom. It is interesting to explore the idea of control which especially several celebrities comment and state having. Rules they think they make, that they see are set for them and they are changing those given rules of the business. Much of what we can take and understand must be lined inside ideals. Outside are left the things unwanted.

To test limits happens quite easily: limits are somewhat odd.

Testing begins when we get naked. Nudity is very badly tolerated even though art is filled with nudes, especially women. They usually are reclining nudes or bare-breasted embarrassingly trying to hide their bosom. For me I am naked even though I am fully clothed, this is the gaze and comments I get. Banning nudity online does not make it better, it makes it worse. People who have never seen a naked body seem to be on the edge and falling over, surely Finland has more open culture what comes to nudity, many people are just ashamed and scared: what happens to fragile minds in this world, to those who see naked breasts happens something out of the order, which is intolerable and wrong. To explain why and how I am porn is that I am measured and seen as a porn object always, that is the default setting and why I am for, have always been which I have to constantly fight and it is tiring. To be an underwear model would be an ideal profession for me surely. To lose 5 to ten Kilos would go perfectly with that, wouldn’t it. Taking off clothes does not make the situation much different, only that I can examine what happens and write my reply, contradict in concrete perception on female body which is shamed and too much to take because it is out of the ordinary somehow, I don’t know how that is possible.

Naked female body equals the world going out of its joints, hell breaking loose or falling down as people are dictated by their urges which tells that we are in large sense animals and respect animal urges as frightening posing a threat to humanity. Humans must be fully clothed even in art. How do we explore our body and sex obsessed culture if naked body can’t be put under microscope in public? How do we make an impact which truly changes something in our obsession, fear and loop of old ideas that do not work well in today’s world? How do we show what our culture is all about: women are not allowed to rule their bodies, women do not have right to reflect and see what happens when nudity is and female body is put in centre of the attention? Will you say how sorry you are that women are born porn stars, at least I am, was? It is not enough to say you are sorry, nothing changes. Women must be allowed to set their boundaries themselves. How do we make progress seems very hard and slow when rights of women are in the dirt. This is much about self-governance of one’s body and life.

Vastaukseni Youtubelle joka kieltää alastomat rinnat videoissa ja jäädyttää koko tilin jos osassa videoista on alastomuutta jossa näkyy rinnat:

Videoni ovat taidevideoita ja niillä käsitellään naisen kehoa ja siihen liittyvää ongelmallisuutta, jota tämä kielto on osa eli naisen alaston vartalo on pornograafinen sellaisenaan ja kielletty epäasiallisena, tyyliin imettäminen on julkisessa tilassa heikkohermoisille haitallista. Taiteessa alaston vartalo etenkin naisen vartalo on iso osa koko taidehistoriaa, joten on varsin kummallista, että vielä nykyään koetaan tarpeelliseksi verhota ja piilottaa täysin luonnollinen asia ja vielä naisen itsensä käsittelemänä, miehet ovat yleensä katsojan ja tekijän asemassa. Videoillani ei edes ole seksiä ja tarkoitukseni on juuri viitata taidehistoriaan ja miksi maalaus on eri asia kuin oikea olemassaoleva vartalo. Piirustuksissani kylläkin on varsinaista pornoa, mutta niitä en esitä Youtubessa. Tarkoitukseni on myös tuoda esille tekopyhä kulttuuri joka on hyvin seksi ja vartalokeskeinen ja vihaa naisia. Trollit ja Youtube että Google sen todella tekevät näkyväksi: naisvihan ja tekopyhyyden.

My answer to YouTube for freezing my account for showing breasts in couple of my videos: My videos are art videos and I examine female body and problematical involved what comes to women and their bodies. This ban tells that female body is pornographic as such and forbidden to see in everyday context, for example breast-feeding in public space is for many too much to take. Banning nudity in art is one reason why people have hard time understanding and tolerating nudity as normal. People have hard time with human body even though it is completely natural and should be viewed as such, not something to hide and be ashamed of. Men have been those who look, gaze, comment and view naked women sexually. In my videos there is not sex, there are breasts of mine which obviously are pornographic per se.

My meaning is to have a conversation with art history which is filled with female nudes and what these nudes have been there for on display, what is the sacred and what is abomination, unholy, why painting is different from actual real life image and why nudity is immediately about sex? My drawings and paintings do have sex in them but they too are not for gazing purposes. I examine pornography and culture which is soaked in porn on many levels, so much so it has become normal to pose like a porn star and ask for porn-like sex from a stranger online. My meaning is to question body and sex obsessed culture which still can’t look at female body without it being a disgrace, the body and the woman. It is exactly her which ought to be ashamed not men. It is hypocrisy and misogyny. This culture is kept up by trolls, YouTube and Google especially. It is ok to hurt, stalk and violate privacy but to look at nudity in art is too much to take.

selfie of going to sleep

What does it mean to have an ego?

Does it mean one can speak of oneself all the time, bring oneself forward because one understands one’s importance as a human being in a competitive world, to value and marvel all the wonderful things one has had the pleasure to do and become? All the wonderful things that can be labelled on that person things that make him or her. What are those things and who get impressed? What happens when those things are taken away, what happens to ego? To be self-centered can be about hiding one’s insecurity, that one is not able to compete in the competitive world where we are something only when we have excellence to present as visible proof. There is weakness in a hugely ballooned ego and it is fragile in unstable world filled with similar egos, similar ideas of what it means to be impressive, sizable and important. Big egos are fragile for criticism, afraid of losing and not winning, they attack and blacklist, stump on mud trying to defeat. Big ego is fragile for negative emotions to arise and take the better of the egoist which very often happen and so easily. There is hurt and offense.

The most egotist thing to do is to do all for the benefit of oneself only, to pursue and stand for things that bring good and profit for one and few only. This is a caricature which is very real. It is a very immature type of person for whom excellence is something one is born with, god given. How many of us are egotists, narcissists, disregarding interests of other people and any other being around? By the look of it, by experience, such outlook on life is fairly common, incapability and unwillingness to take others into consideration. What does it take to grow to be considering instead of a bully? Is it the bad thing that decent people deny from themselves ever having, consideration and compassion because it is costly, time-consuming, humbling and anti-hierarchical? Is ego something the bold people possess, ruthless and greedy ones, isn’t that ego as a hollow construction, a show off and scare? We talk as we know ego. We talk it is the positive empowering pedestal, a sign of self-respect maybe, a sign of disrespect if one is a woman, arrogant and cocky. Someone who knows what one wants and is must have a strong ego among all those egos. Ego has a dark shadow, it is gendered already for children. It is the negative which is not encouraged for girls to have and a girl who shows bossy is punished for doing the same what boys ‘naturally’ express. The word ego clings to something grand, becoming and making oneself and has the clang of the worst of mankind: self-absorbed, self-centered, endless self-love, violent battle that has no end other than dead-end. When we are selfless are we without ego, without dignity and awareness and acknowledging self-worth? To be able to fight for dignity and self-worth to know what one can do is essential.

How much is it good to have an ego? Is that the right question at all, the amount of ego in us and what we do when we have self-confidence and belief in one’s capabilities. As an artist it is essential the belief in oneself. Nobody else does that for you. How essential it is to have a strong ego, not be blinded by it but have it as a force. Is it the same as large ego to have strong ego? There is no one telling me what to do, how to do what I do. I either manage it or I do not. I work as long as it takes to make the idea come true. How much does my ego effect on why I do, what I do, how I do and what kind of place I occupy for myself to be able to do the things I value? One must value oneself to find one’s passion, follow one’s interests regardless of what people around think of them and of me.

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/434827/individual-cowardice-killing-american-culture?utm_campaign=trueAnthem%3A+Trending+Content&utm_content=5728623d04d3012df78b5195&utm_medium=trueAnthem&utm_source=twitter “I’ve often found myself thinking of William Butler Yeats’s classic poem, “The Second Coming.” In it, Yeats ponders societal collapse, writing: “Things fall apart; the center cannot hold.” In our nation, the center didn’t even try to hold. The “reasonable” people made the easy choice to go with the flow of cultural upheaval.”

 

People who are scared to face themselves.

My goodness what a topic! I don’t know where to begin. Only this: to begin with the experience of blame, shame and fear. How people can be so afraid of being exposed of what they truly are. What is a true person anyway and how much do we live in lie? Basic emotions interest me. They are so much what we are and make. I go through the scale of feelings over and over, fear especially. They are me, they are what I make and they make me. The most basic, fundamental is fear. Fear of losing, fear of dying, losing face, opportunities, dead-ends. There must be a way to solve this, I think. It is quite a long list of things one can be afraid of. Things that are mostly about survival. Are we surviving?

The experience of guilt, that there is something wrong, but what. It must be her, it cannot be me. How it must be the girl who has something to be called a disturbed mind. Maybe only because one is an artist. That can be a reason enough to suspect that something is wrong with that person. The one who stands out of the crowd. There is something wrong with the person who does not belong. There is nothing wrong with the crowd. They do belong and they stay safe as long as they play their part. They agree with each other or the image of each other. 

People who are scared to reveal how fucked up they really are. That something that breaks normality, codes of interaction, rules and silent hierarchies. What is it to face yourself really? Do you know yourself?

Yes, it is a question of self-esteem, values in life and where do you come from.

Out of all experiences I have had working class culture has made me think what is creativity in working class context? How do working class people create and what it means to create? As for many welders welding is an art. And I agree. It is a beautiful work and skill. It is creation made possible at work and through that it is possible to understand one’s own creativity and skill. For people in that particular industry cars are an important way of self-expression. They are well taken care of and talked about subject. Man is his car. When a new guy appears at work his car is firstly checked out. It can be brutal, because man’s personality and character depends on his wheels. How about those who take the bus?  Take a guess.

With the thinking of what is working class goes also what it does not want to be.  It cuts itself out of many possibly fruitful things it thinks are not for it. Laborers like to place the blame of misfortunes on others and stick in their own comfortable circles. This I have experienced myself several times. Funnily same goes for the Arts. It is also curious how people like to find mistakes and errors in others instead of searching themselves. Yes, a working class hero exists, and an art hero exists, but from my point of view they are posing shells, nothing else.