I have to justify my existence by money, my worth is gained. It is not because I am and do what I enjoy doing. It has been weird to notice how a woman capable of doing many things is seen as a threat. I am not allowed to be better or good. Trying to forget all that and learning to live with less.

It is a very odd concept of thinking that you are safe. I am never safe. In me there is a planted seed of fear which is the panic which I cannot stand, which has a body, which I have had to learn to accept therefore I have learned to control panic. I have been told that I am so calm, well you do not see the inside of me. To be told. I resent it.
A secure job means safety. How secure are we? Do surveillance cameras make safety or fences? In my mind they increase panic and atmosphere of threat. Everyone is a threat.  You cannot rely on anyone but yourself. Don’t rely on anyone. Isn’t it a horrible way to live. Not anyone. One must think it is not just horrible and appalling, it is a permanent state since we are there. There is not anyone. This is loneliness and we are all in it.  And mind your own business. No wonder the pain in the back. It really gets you.

What is value in this perspective?

I’m wondering about musical influences on class struggle in general and in terms of punk and heavy metal music, it begins to sound so sixties the term class struggle. Is there a class struggle anymore?  Or do we just struggle from day to day.
Social levels are more or less constructed by salary, education, demanded skill and knowledge at work and could be called classes. What are the new levels of demands and skills, because it begins to look like a competition most people are left out by rule. Is a system of classes needed anymore? Work nowadays on any level is demanding. It takes a lot of knowledge to do cleaning well believe it or not. It has become specific and detailed know how even though it still is not much appreciated work and there are certain groups of people that either end up doing it or even want to do it. Cleaners are at the bottom of the so-called working class today weirdly I think because it actually is one of the most important tasks society needs to get done every day. Appreciation towards work consists of the things I mentioned above skill, knowledge required, the amount of money earned and made and the importance of the work. How the importance is measured depends on many things. One is how important the worker feels his/her work is. How good one wants to be in that work and reasons why one works. I still claim work done by men is more appreciated than work done by women.

Are attitudes changing in appreciating the time not spent on working, but doing things one enjoys most. That kind of shift probably takes couple of generations for it to be an acceptable way of life, not to spent time making money but spent time living without money. To learn how to live without money, without gathering assets and possessions, which is a norm more or less and valued as a way of life. We are now valued by what we own. We are owned.