Leak/Vuoto, watercolour paintings from 1998

Paintings done by me during art school 1998. As an art student I was very influenced by my experiences as a young woman and by many female artists who fearlessly had explored femininity, double standards in art and difficulties in being a woman. How there has been this message that one should be ashamed of one’s body, its fluids, functions, the way body looks, what it is for and what it does. I have been fascinated by how little we have control over our bodies, over how it is seen, commented, looked at and what does it do, the body, that I am, but that has a will of its own. For example having had hugely painful period has been a one thing turning my life upside down once a month and this flooding phenomenon that is a taboo all over the world today still remains mysteriously disgusting and horrifying to many. All this is painful and remains so when female body is obscene and feared, so something one wants to understand and respect should be the case. What is the shame there, what is the dirtiness and scare?

Since there are people today who feel disgusted by menstruation art, that this issue is now called such, I must again put this forward, that women’s bodies belong to women and they do what they want with their bodies and menstruation being one thing women experience in its messiness and pain, shame and irritation, all it brings to us, as private as it may be, it is an everyday normal bodily function and a very important one. The leaking body, that has a way of its own is gorgeous and menstruation should be respected instead of felt disgusted by. And blood is not blue..

Dirtiness: disgusting, hideous, resentful, awful. I have different idea of what is dirty.

I have faced myself the strange belief that due to something I do not understand such women as myself have to be extra careful what comes to being groomed and stylish and any detail not matching the ideal appearance is strictly looked down on, commented and disapproved of. It is one part of obedience training to make perfect puppets who do not smell wrong or do anything other than what is expected of them. People who believe in this kind of bullying and militant order for human behavior which does not allow stepping outside the box pointed at you are more a rule than exception and I have began to wonder why it is so. Is the answer as simple as it is much more preferable to have it easy than difficult, it is more comfortable not to face the human mess and follow orders which never change until they are forced to change. It much easier when women do as they are told, do things that are there for women to do, look like feminine and graceful beings that can be discarded when they fade, it is lovely when the ideal and easy package make perfect match so you don’t have to bother yourself to change, figure out someone or even think that that someone is on the same level as you are or is more than you. You give orders to those who are inferior to you, you team up against such people who defy you because you cannot tolerate the defiance and will to be something else.
It is a simple way of placing people into your tiny world and at the same time it is about hygiene that resonates with an ideology that is not at all that clean. Absolute sanitary cleanliness which makes everything around very dead inside and out.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11933480/Dirty-women-a-defence.-I-should-know-I-am-one.htmlDon’t believe me? Try going into any public women’s toilets. The state of the loos will attest to the true range of female hygiene. Good luck.”
http://www.sexualrecovery.com/articles/understanding-compulsive-masturbation/