New beginnings, love those. BUT still beauty stops somewhere, suddenly, Is there fear in being aware. In what kind of fear we live? What is scary in the dark? In anywhere? Why am I scared? I’m not showing it, of course. Guns, bombs, people, people driving cars. How fear is born? Are those who don’t face bad, aggressive behaviour, acts in their lives as scared as those who do? Is fear different? Does it have many levels? When do you stop being afraid?

Why talk about fear? I think because it is everywhere. Throughout all my life I have been led to think I should be scared. I’m a fragile creature, woman, was a girl, quiet, almost nonexistent. I was supposed to be afraid becoming broken, being broken, being in someones way. It is the hate one starts to hate. Of being dictated what I should feel what I should do in my life, expectations how my life is going to be. One doesn’t first live for others. To live for others one has to first know who one is. How do you become aware of yourself? When? All the time, from the beginning of your life? What is being aware? Like alert, or I know what I am and how to be happy in my life.

to be continued… As not being scared. But it’s also something that never leaves. And to say don’t be afraid is not the right words, fear is not only a negative feeling, it keeps me alive. It keeps me wondering what is it, fear. Where does it come from. Like one day I was completely relaxed and among friendly people, felt happy.