What is the amount of safety we should feel to be comfortable? That going out is not an issue, that meeting people is a good thing, that walking at night is something one can do without hesitation, wearing what one wishes is something one can do without getting any negative comments or any comments whatsoever. Not being able to be safe in one’s society is a serious concern, that people have to be ready at any time to defend oneself because we can be attacked, targeted, followed, stalked, bullied etc. in continuum. Such atmosphere and constant alert make one adjust to people as enemies and never trust anyone. I am always alert, always ready to defend myself. To feel completely safe in one’s life can also be a risk that one is no able and willing to risk that comfort and beautiful harmony of not having to face violence, not having to think that there is a possibility to be violated.
It is probably more common than people admit not to feel comfortable where you are and who you are. The demand of fitting in, blending in is violent itself. To avoid conflict and isolation we adapt if that is what we must do to feel comfortable, safe and belong, make friends, be social. It is also common to think that to adapt to society as society wishes you to and wants people to behave is social behavior, not arguing, rebelling, misbehaving, and as such what society wants is good, a kind of fluency in a culture. Society partly or fully wants people to be submissive and accept what society orders us to do and think, learning to understand how we must be in society to succeed, be liked and popular. Any other kind of behavior is hostile. Hostility hidden right there. Such assimilation citizens are supposed to do can be a form of violence, forcing and denying self, not making an evolving society and evolving people. As has happened to countless of women to this day that have had to push aside what they have wanted to be, what they have wanted of life, to be what society and other people expected them to be and become. How do you assimilate yourself when it is clearly impossible? As George Clinton perfectly put it you give up, you give up the tiring demand for yourself to be something you are not, to fulfill expectations of others and what is around. You will only fulfill demands of yours. You become the best you that is possible and love yourself despite what is expected of you. That is a threat to people who are content in a mass of similar.