When it is inappropriate to be as whole as possible, full human (strange concept but let’s use it, maybe there isn’t such a thing when humans are more than just humans, I wonder how nature effects our humanity, what are the limitations for humans is what I am asking and should there be concern becoming more human than human, a design human who is above nature) which for men is there to explore, full, undisputed, lawful, god-given maybe limitless human rights, rights as citizens and users of their voices and spaces: power to use and find out. This is of course how it looks like, men seem more free than women, unafraid but I am sure men suffer from lack of progress what comes to gender stereotypes and what is place of man maybe just as much as women do or maybe not. In my experience in Finland many men suffer when women make progress as they like to improve their lives. It is good that you do your thing but what does it do for me, can be the question. Men do not keep up and don’t understand why they even should because it used to be so cosy, whining and complaining how women are demanding, to whom nothing is enough and one has to struggle to make things good again. To have gotten things easy is what has happened for men compared to women. Pampered people are the most annoying. Who wants easy, it can be boring as hell. What, I disappoint you? Oh too bad.
There is the obvious and necessary need for girls and women be full human beings, it is the so obvious that one wonders why the refusal to accept women as competent persists. Boys learn to appreciate themselves more and think girls are not able to do the same on any level. This thinking shows very clearly, whatever I have done in my life the same repeats. The repetition is what I am afraid of because it is compulsive and terrifyingly there, in repeat something similar happens between people, how unchanged things, thinking and people stay. Living without fear being the definer of oneself is the goal, owner of self-confidence which must show and be put to use. To be a girl without fear sounds still like a Disney girl power blockbuster where pursuing happiness is the goal, of course happiness is good but what is it when it is different for all and the girl must bring happiness to others but herself? Her happiness is happiness of others. She is a good woman when she nurtures and cares for feelings and needs of other people, welfare and comfort is her thing. We should all be what we want and get what we desire again and again to feel happy, so what is stopping us from doing just that.
Fear is there for a reason and we should be quite afraid regardless of who we are. It is a remainder that we are not safe ever. Fear is a companion, it is there to keep women and girls in their places but it also is a scare for those who think they can do whatever to other people, fear of death is for many very real. Outspoken woman is scary because she does something unexpected and unwanted. Do men feel they shrivel and lose their power when women get access to power of their own and access to means? To go against the feeling of being terrified is what must be tried, how to learn not be afraid when there is no reason to be afraid, when to fear the right things. Abandonment, is that what we should fear? Loneliness, shaming, a weapon to use against women over and over again, humiliating, near death experiences and to face your oppressors by refusing to be ashamed and afraid.
Fear of abuse is real because that is what we constantly are, used. Unnecessary denial and refusal to see the potential of women as thinkers, makers and decision-makers within society especially must stop. In family women make decisions which favour boys and follow expectations for a good wife, I hope not. To be a representative of a gender, a specimen to be valued solely via youth, obedience, humility, looks and ability to bring pleasure for others and her pleasure is the pleasure she provides must be yesterday. There is a continuous need for power structures to take power away from females before they understand what kind of power women have and this happens by diminishing and categorising women and girls, their abilities, minimising their value on looks and how the process of value being measured happens and influences on us.
‘My vulva cupcakes were confiscated’ – a day in the life of an anti-FGM campaigner
Leyla Hussein www.theguardian.com/global-development-professionalsnetwork/2017/mar/13/my-vulva-cupcakes-were-confiscated-but-i-gained-a-sense-of-home?CMP=twt_gu