
Valtava emootio.
Valtava emootio.
The experience of growing up as a girl is important in becoming a woman, it’s defining. Not only the body parts that you’ll have tell of sex, but female is not a feeling nor an idea that can be artificially built. To have a vagina is not the only thing to have to be female, if it was so simple as operating the outer sexual organs you to change your sex, we’d be very simple organisms indeed and simplicity and functionality is what we as modern humans aim at. We do look at others as appearances and make judgments based on what we see. But we are simple even the thought of it is repulsive. We are very complex (never forget) and that complexity makes us human and beautifully unique on this planet. This is one reason I defend women’s right to be called women not menstruators or bleeders or what other horrid names men have invented to wipe women’s rights and our significance as humans, creators and caretakers out. Mother is much more than just a birthing person. To simplify a person via the act of giving birth, what is that? What motivation there is to simplify a person? They are never good. That is a tale from dystopian world where women are birthing people and that is their sole purpose. What happens via and in women’s bodies is via this new speech making women instrumental, like technicality talk and women should accept it. It is pure objectification as is all plastic surgery and imitation of women, ultra femininity as it is called at its most extremist, a fetish making the doll woman an ideal and call her beautiful is what she wants to hear.
To silence women for speaking out against this nonsense and body fascism, I don’t find it any different from chauvinism, traditionalism and misogyny. It is regressive and abusive. Boycotting women who defend girls’ and women’s rights is the same old and to have this forced upon is to belittle our voices, bodies and minds. Our need for our spaces, safety, our reasoning to be heard and our experiences as more than just bodies are important, they are fought rights and must be protected because they are not self-evident. To be a woman is not celebrated by terms such as cervix-havers and chest-feeders,breast-feeders, it is humiliating to hear females become their body parts only. It is resentful and ugly to even have this kind of fight in contemporary world. Mind you freedom of speech and opinion. I don’t accept delusions for facts and forcing this new ‘education’ on all of us isn’t freedom. It is infantile and vengeful.
As I have experienced it, to be a girl is very different than being a boy. Boys did more exciting things and at some point I was not allowed to participate anymore as I aged out growing breasts and stuff. Boys and girls bully each other which is normal, girls are also sexually harassed by adults. The differences between sexes exist to large extent and massively so, that to minimize it, is foolish and untruthful, like white working class girls’ experiences can be more violent and abusive still in today’s world and nobody notices. Something easily accessible and to discard. When you have no money, you do not have power. Girls are cruel against other girls too. I suppose it is a way of competition and something go through. To be different is the worst thing, but what can you do, adapt or perish? Neither is an option. A girl must be very careful and learn it, it is a tightrope on which a girl learns to balance. One has to learn that you can be groped in broad daylight in the middle of a school yard and that is fun for boys, they do it in groups. They continue this to adulthood and think women don’t know. Some don’t. Grouping is important for most humans, see tribalism. To me it is a sign of weakness, but a group is powerful even (especially) in stupidity. That you can be stalked, you will be checked up as long as you look alright for males by the appearance, pedigree, inheritance, that is all that matters, how you can benefit them. You will be measured by your looks always, that never ends. Your intelligence is under constant scrutiny. It is a way to use power over you, that never ends. Testing you never ends. So how does a girl become empowered? For me the number one thing has been education, the only thing since looks is not that interesting to me in a person, for others it is probably the most interesting thing, as a girl I was shook by this: I am my body and that should empower me. To be beautiful is everything and nothing. So what is me? Who is this person and what is she to become?
Like today you are your body and that is it, it is your measure, it is a message. You become you when you can fix things that bother you in your body. Why things bother people is because of other people. Everything in your body is noticed, cellulite, fat, wrinkles, legs, hips, ass, thighs, lips, hair, neck, skin, breasts, smells, calves, nose and body hair. You can disturb all this by doing the opposite. Freak people out, it is easy for a girl. We should follow instructions and when we don’t we stick out.
As a girl I was more scared and timid, also I was looked at in a different kind of way like I had less potential and I was less important. I guess I had that scared look on my face which made it even worse, me an easy target. So, don’t be scared or don’t show it. We are still animals. And learn to question everything, especially the authority. They don’t like, it is reason enough. To be liked is not a sufficient aim in life. When they find out your potential, the reactions can be primitive. Equality talk is often just that, talk.
Finding potential where there isn’t any, yeah it’s a dead-end, as is pleasing everyone .
In art it is common to hear and witness leftist and feminist echoes, it is a model echo chamber painted white and stylish. You enter, it is quiet and there are possibly headphones and screens, gadgets and gimmicks are strangely very interesting to artists and curators. Art very gladly turns against someone who cannot help you in their career and be a good contact. When you are useless, you will feel it. Many declare themselves as practicing individuals, I am not sure how individualism fits in a dictatorship, when it comes to losing position and personal gain, it is a very different story. Individualism stops pretty much there. When speaking your mind is dangerous, it is better to do nice and play the game which is very much set and to step out of the fixed pattern (which also speaks against individualism and creativity) means one is not doing official art, you are an outsider. To team up against one who clearly does not believe in your act and commitment to the mentioned causes, is sad and telling. When it is obvious that misogyny and sexism are more protected than abolished and making a living as an artist is made very difficult especially if you speak your mind and try to change the system which is not welcoming, open, open-minded, fair, but hypocritical, old-fashioned, racist, biased and bigoted, change is even more vital. You like to talk about change and you think it is everybody else who need to change. Art plays for and by the rich and the privileged, by ownership and how much anything costs is well displayed as it is the most important thing as are the metropoles. Money and fame are driving a system where everybody is so feminist and leftist? Right, Let me laugh out loud. In this business leftism and feminism are handy tools to use in looking good, I don’t think you do.
How much do you fly for art and for your own amusement? How much do you support mass tourism in the name of art? How much do you try to influence the art system to change? Change in a way it actually would serve people and not money? Look around and think what kind of art do you see in a public space? Try to analyse why it is the way it is, what purpose does it serve? When a curator says, artists can be like that, what do you think the curator might mean? What are curators like, what is your perception on curating? How much do you think contemporary art is for the public and how much for the institutions to stay busy and in business? What defines as success in art?
Gloomy tale, fuck me.
Sex play number one. We went into his car and I sucked his dick. Don’t know who he
was. I didn’t care. It was a brisk Autumn night. We went into his apartment and I
sucked his dick. It had already started to snow heavily and that felt good. We moved
on to his bed and I sucked his dick. It kept snowing. We kept changing the place of
action while I sucked his dick. Sun came up and I sucked his dick in slow motion.
You could see the windows were covered with dust and fingerprints and you could
see the street. I saw his dick and I took it into my mouth.
We went to a department store toilet and I sucked his dick. We did some grocery
shopping and went to the car at the parking lot where I sucked his dick. And I truly
hoped that everybody saw. He drove us to a deserted place and while doing that I
sucked his dick. When we got there I sucked his dick. How the story ends? It
doesn’t.
Attractiveness is an asset, a strong one, an interesting one when investigated position and meaning of woman, sex and relations between humans in general. The person who is looked at is either interesting or not merely based on looks and how does it happen, the choosing, thinking or not thinking is in an instant, wanting sexual services, calling it fun, calling them natural urges and we behaving naturally as we should. The judgment there is upon the woman. She is not allowed to be natural but she has to be an animal. Her naturalness is too much and weird as it is too strong and wrong. It is her incapability to rise up. What is interesting in a person is that she is not a person. Personality is wiped off as there is in repeat the similar one kind womanhood, an imitation who performs sexual favours which job is seen appealing and accepted for the entertaining purposes, her having star quality and being garbage at the same time. Women for different purposes still exist as there is need to fulfil roles and needs. Women who are openly sexual, women who are the caring types and their appeal is the filling in kind. Fulfilling needs of others.
Cultural meaning of blow job is, it really has one.
Why this is interesting is the positioning, banality and the one way thinking which so often goes without questioning, looking at it, facing what the need and deed is many times over. Why would we question a pleasurable sex act which so ruling it rules the porn industry, imagery, fantasies and is clearly the most wanted act maybe even for women? To think this is a valuable fantasy as it is, where is the value elsewhere than in finance, in objectification, repetition and what mouth represents and can do (on a pretty face). To think what is the visual there that is so powerful for the male.
Don’t get me wrong I am not against blow jobs. I personally resent the thought of being merely for that purpose. This is where the interest lies for me to try to analyse the connection between looks, femininity, sexual act as a favour or label, woman as a prostitute, cheap and available. But yeah, hell this is the official blowjob investigation on abstract level. Inquiries concerning random sex acts will be analysed publicly. That is fun for me, to analyse I mean. What makes you tick.