Victim or a survivor and why surviving is hard to talk about? We have culture of strength.

The strangest and scariest as surreal repetitious event has been to witness misogyny done by women and how it kind of belongs to the territory of being female that you are hated, despised, suspected and treated like garbage especially if you are young, pretty, talented and have thoughts that challenge existing views, roles and hierarchies. I still look youngish but have looked young and naive, as like I was born with it, so the weird dilemma of not fitting in is a normalcy. This issue is a difficult to talk about without it sounding asking for empathy and being a victim of bullying which the whole not fitting in and weirdo setting is all about. For a blond, thin and childlike which characteristics to many equal mental disability things on level of how people react to you remain surprisingly unchanged. And I for example have began to see this existing position more a strength than weakness. To be on your side because of your genitals is to understand how gender roles function and are for, be on side of women because they are women and women support men because they are men. Do men support women because they are women and therefore worthy of support or do we support people because to support is a human thing to do? Eh, I don’t know. Maybe people support those who they care for, supporting someone supports also you. Gender works for those who fall into such roles effortlessly and think they are a good thing. It has been obvious solidarity can be nonexistent when safety and balance is threatened. Threat is a curious feeling as is fear. Fear of dramatic change is what keeps traditional roles needed and in part they do have a place. Want to guess why? I kind of have my theory. Have you ever been target of gossip? I call it ill talk because something is very wrong in that situation and the main issue is hurt. I have been talked about all my life in a bad sense. To repeat all could be made into a crystal idea: there is something in this person that pushes buttons instantly. It is about the way one looks like, what one does, how one does it and how one is in the world and how well one fits in. To fit in is a compulsory issue. It is clear for those who do not fit in and do the unexpected word goes on, what is the expected? It is a ritual to live and way of telling is there is something wrong with you and those who talk do not like it. Most of gossip is ill and about this problematic nature of humans where safety acceptability and being similar next to a clone is what does not threaten power and self-worth of tiny minds who are scared. I have found this very hurtful, dehumanising and have become neurotic in the way that I should be very aware if I do not please as I should something bad happens. Most hurtful it is when other women see it their issue to slam other women and leave out the stigmatised.

We know everything about you.

Knowledge is power is the saying. What we know and what we do with our gained info is interesting what comes to having power, empowerment, who has power over us and living our lives without privacy. What we want to know, how we know and most importantly what we do not know impact our choices and thinking, not to speak of what we don’t want to know. To think you know everything there is to know about something or someone to make your conclusions and decisions is still flawed always. To trust blindly information given is also a foolish tactic, still it is the way many choose live, a world where things are told us with honesty is a utopia. Everybody has fabrications and illusion they either make up knowingly, or create unknowingly such things believing them to be true.

To have an opinion and think it is the absolute truth because it is your opinion or opinion of those whom you look up to.

Gossip is based on false ideas of superiority and freedom, more importantly it is about power which is used to put down and keep down, to silence and minimise. Ballooned egos standing on hollow ground repeating the same old patterns and practices, a place of glorifying yourself and those close to you, proof of corruption, ill and false ideas of self and what is good. Proof of sexism, misogyny and hate against anything that jeopardises position, market value and assumed cause of good. It is good to look like you are doing good without making an effort to actually change oppressive structures because they serve well those who like to play by the rules of the oppressors. To talk about progress when there really isn’t any is one fine example. To protect people who sexually harass and use their power position wrongly, or teacher having sex with a student, are again about the structure that does not want to be changed and told this is not pedagogically correct, too much is at stake. Also sadly many like to think that as long as you are not caught you can do whatever you want when there is opportunity.

When nobody acts upon sexism and corruption nothing truly changes. In art the same people keep having their gained power position usually a very long time. I do not see it a good thing what comes to making progress, equality and making meaningful of art.

How is gossip proof of corruption? It is degeneration, rotten rule and malicious ideas of how to have power and what to do with it, how people are handled and what they are for. People’s reactions tells a lot, lack of empathy, lack of compassion and thinking you can destroy someone just because you are given tools to do so.

Sharing is caring. Is gossiping about social skills or lack of them?

Ethically produced knowledge and learning? Sure thing, don’t know about the ethics though, a production, yes. Stand point to gossip is that it is all around, unavoidable as it seems. Why people do it? It obviously plays the essential part of entertaining as everyday soap without TV. Why do you think even though we know it is morally wrong and there is no justification to gossip people find gossip appealing? It brings together similar minded jackasses and separates those who can be discussed about. Gossip sure has a place in society, but why through doing harm we look for something interesting, excitement and shock value. Good and nice are not enough, boring maybe? We need the shock, danger, exposure, element of forbidden in digging other people’s lives and to seek humiliation on others, shame of those who are in the spotlight? Obviously, why else bad talk would flourish to the extent it does. Gossiping is a major seller of goods and magazines making celebrities. It is an emotional boost of either wanting what that other fabulous person has or loathing and hating someone to exclude them, make them feel bad about themselves. I see it merely as public expression of emotions and desires, which has very little to do with reason. Gossip is psychological warfare, violence and shows the ugly side of people, of those who gossip. getting things out of proportion, out of context, false and to make the talker look better than the one who is talked about. It is much a moral issue in which those who make gossip think have morals on their side, have higher morals than and know what is morally right. Gossiping people do not see anything wrong in their behavior until they are caught. It is a mental assault to team against someone, cruel, bullying, hurtful and ruthless. It does not stop until it is stopped.

If I look at the phenomenon of word getting around, it is irreversible and damaging. Gossip is targeting with a purpose, practical with a specific meaning. In that way it is very social, needs relations and skills to spread. If you really don’t know what you are talking about, why don’t you keep your fucking mouth shut. If your only purpose is to harm those you for some reason do not like, you have got some serious issues that need tending. “For example, it has been theorized that gossip played a fundamental role in the evolution of human intelligence and social life (Dunbar, 2004; Davis & McLeod, 2003) and that it continues to play an active role in cultural learning (Baumeister, Zhang, & Vohs, 2004) and as a source of social comparison information (Suls, 1977; Wert & Salovey, 2004a). To be sure, it is often noted that rumor and gossip can also be undeniably aversive and problematic-currently illustrated, for example, in the way that rumor and gossip have generated resistance to medical efforts to deal with HIV and AIDS (e.g., Smith, Lucas, & Latkin, 1999; Stadler, 2003).”

If it is good, huray! Cheeky then wehey! Blog sensations: News Agency for the good ppl. Don’t forget to share. Check your facts or/and check your head.

The Gossip and making of it: The contradiction in me is the contradiction shown to me, because it is the flaw that should not be but is.

I tell you my personal point of view so there is no need to speculate how I see myself: The very personal issue of all to all is how to be accepted and stay accepted. How does it happen, what do I have to do and be like to be accepted. As an idea it is the basic human problem, relevant, important and at the same time very unnecessary as there is the constant message in the air that we are to be accepted as we are, loved as such, especially children who are what they are without much possibility and need to be something else. Children do not fake themselves, act phony unless there is a punishment, judgment, shadow, fear etc. telling to do otherwise than what they do. They learn to fake it when it becomes clear they are not what they are supposed to be, they are not doing what they are expected to do. This has been the core issue in my life. There has always been talk around me about me, which talk is not meant for me to know. I have been aware and observing as artists and children do… So I am being analysed by others to others but not analysed to me or asked how I see things. I am left out for whatever reason. Something wrong about me has been defined and has been made a story. Good things do not make such a good story, right? It is not good to talk what is good? That there is idea that there is nothing wrong with the environment or people, but the error and flaw is in me because I am different. Issue of gossip and talk has been there all my life without me, still, somehow never stopping. I am there but I am not there. I am scary and I have to be scared. This is sad history and has made me feel inadequate and really puzzled about how am I supposed be, which has made me work even harder. I somehow do not exist and exist at the same time. So you understand that I really don’t understand how to be in the world of people. If you get what I mean.

It is no wonder I was lost and still am. State of lost and loss has become my tools and topic, good thing and bad, good and evil. I juggle and experiment. I provoke with my mere existence as is evident, now I enjoy the provocation and know how to create from and with it, to identify with obscure and weird and what is odd exactly. It does not take much to seem crazy and out of balance, become scared and build a bubble. I take the provocation as far as I can to see what happens. People make things happen. Very small tiny things move them, move their lips, make them talk. It is easy to say I am cynical. I see myself as having an organic part in a human game and as a researcher, what else could I do? If I give you information why do you share it, what are your motives for that? And what have been the motives to gossip behind my back all a long? How am I the cynical one here one can ask. I just study you. I know myself. It is healthy to learn to know thyself. It is called growing. To seek flaws in me is the same old same old as is the not giving me any credit for my exceptional talent, which is obvious and oh so demanding. Does it have something to do with my gender??

There is and has been a great chance for me to get badly hurt, but I am already all the time in a state of hurt, which is like built-in me, so it does not make much effort to take the hurt further and further little by little and see how much hurt people are willing to make. I have learned to place hurt and everyday reality to their places, into perspective of research and art. What hurts me, probably would kill you. Most it hurts to see how little people change and what kind of things make them talk. It is what makes the world go round. That is the sad part. As I test my limits it means I make progress. Pain and work are parts of that personal progress. So if I as an artist and human being begin to be accepted as such, it will be the most strange place I could be. One becomes used to of not being accepted. Contempt, suspicion, rejection, humiliation and hate are parts of that world. To understand me it is good to understand where I come from. It is a very different place and view-point. To think my world is unharmed, pink and naive is unbelievably naive.

Please begin to explore your minds, if you haven’t started yet. Let the healing begin. There is a saying of better late than never. In the case of making gossip better it is never. Oh what a contradiction. To see yourself as you are can be a good thing. To like has to live a kind of life one wants, be the kind of person one likes.

Sermon for the Easter day Monday, a talk hack, a mind hack.

Isn’t it strange to live in a world of illusions, in a world where there is talk that means nothing, if it means something it is to hurt, advertise and just talk to make noise without a pause, where there is talk just to make time pass, to make conversation: How are you doing and so on. To talk of other people’s businesses as they were your business is a form of therapy. The kind of self-help in which there is no self-reflection in a healing manner, but there is something to be let out. What that something is can be quite  violent and brutal emotionally negative junkyard bringing joy for those who take part and like to roll over in that mud of human mind. Gossiping has been a way to interact, take part, inform, keep the community rules traditionally old-fashioned and in force effective without change, talk behind one’s back to keep on shaming, a punishment that should be feared and avoided. Gossip makes a division clear, there are those others who do things we would not do. Gossiper does not face oneself, there isn’t progress other than growing news in the air which can be shared with friends. Gossip is jewels and something to own. This form of collective therapy does not change those who take part in spreading the info. It is meant to uplift the morally stronger, those who hide but enjoy dirt like pastry and it is meant to be fun for those who do it, to see those below who are targeted and betrayed, hit in disguise from behind the corner. It is a form of lying as there is no blame for those who gossip. They are released and liberated. They are doing the ground work for creating public fables and facades which last for decades for those who hear and read tales created.

Knowledge which is private, personal has gotten out there, a secret which is forbidden to talk about. Knowledge of the wrong of sharing forbidden info is part of the fun. Danger is there but it is on the good side who knows what is good. Vice made honorable by a crowd who share and agree. The most important things are the need to know, need to talk, what else? What gossip is all about is deeply rooted and a culture of old habits that will not vanish. Gossip is culturally an important phenomenon without a doubt and a huge part of our daily culture, a massive part. Interest in what people unknown to us do, how they do and why is not all about hurt and domination. Who dominates what plays an important role as well. What is true, what is said, what is left untold and why a lie is more easy to believe than the truth. What kind of images we want to see and believe are true, how we reflect and compare ourselves make curious predictable patterns. There is desire to imitate. We maybe admire those who expose themselves, who want to be under observation and the looking eye. How are we so trapped by vulture culture enjoying all it brings? For some reason there is demand and supply, a never-ending need to bring out the worst features and shallowest of us in front. Impacts on all of society are profound.