Wondering what do we pay attention to: To open aggression more than to micro-aggression? Difficult to say but explosions do get our attention if they happen near-by, but we are hugely sensitive to any kind of hostility and get offended by lots of things. Hostility detectors are on and almost anything can offend. Does it tell we are scared of primal negative emotions and outbursts by them? Unable to analyse, understand or accept them as part of our character? Somehow yes. The censoring is one symptom. Self-censoring and public censoring of any behaviour that does not play by the rules and is causing emotional traumas, we are in need of safe spaces because of this anger, disagreement which is disturbing. Any kind of disagreement is qualified as hate speech.

Micro-aggression which is much more difficult to point out, prove and verbally oppose to, find and point out wrong especially when at work, but micro-aggressions are everywhere. I think we fail to see most of it as aggression because it is wrapped up in a wrapper. Although we are quite sensitive to any kind of aggression, jumpy almost, be it rudeness, thoughtlessness, problems in communication between people are present constantly and aggression is the problem. Any wrong kind of word and thought is a trigger. “Don’t oppose me in this because I am absolutely correct” is the thought. Usually disturbance is nicely swept under the carpet and not discussed but damned as crazy and inappropriate and the person unstable in need of help or beyond help, labelled most definitely. Some people can begin to communicate by being blunt and direct in their words and actions when nothing else works anymore which is seen vulgar, having run out of options, a kind of last resort before totally losing it, a method of getting attention or just telling it straight. How straight are we and should be and is it possible in the first place?

We really don’t want to offend, now, right? To seem like a nice likeable person is so important. It is a very forbidden tool: raging, but somehow it resonates with honesty. Destruction which has its place. The person is showing something that takes a lot of barriers to break before it happens. Raging is so scary one can become scared of oneself afterwards: how was I capable of such anger and hate or one option is to feel content of finally having been able to do it. We are to maintain coolness and correctness to maintain our faces and respectability, continuity. What do we want to continue is one thing to consider. To choose the right situation for being mad, is it the therapist office, traffic jam or at home?

Something gets broken in an instant in a world where subtle, tactful and sensitive tactics are used to keep censoring up. Good to know ways to deal with people, recognise, rehearse and learn how to seem civil and wanting to avoid conflicts. It is equivalent of doing things well: oh look how well she handles that tough person/customer. It truly is a skill. Wanting to stay in that comfortable space without testing the limits, belong to a peaceful and nice environment where everybody can enjoy their stay and pretend happy, that all is well. We are in a constant play where what oneself is can go lost because the play narrows us down, requires behaviour that dictates and desires to remove any personality that might be disturbing to customers, sales, public image. Anybody like loud laughter, out of ordinary improper clothing, standing out of posture, smelling weird, doing something what others are not doing at the moment, shouting etc. any out of this ordinary is weird and must be avoided as dangerous.