Control is a state issue and it is a gender issue, to have a structure and plan, reasons to do things, purpose. Basically nature creates us the first set of boundaries within which we function. Religion is to give us guidelines how to live a life within approved frames which are to control us given by a higher force. All of human life is thinking, experimenting and questioning one’s boundaries and what kind of control is to be obeyed, what is good kind of control and what do we dare to break in terms of rules. It is a safety issue, cultural and political issue where we draw the lines of good and bad, right and wrong and who gets to decide. What comes to women and girls many decisions are done without them, decided for them as if women and girls were incapable of knowing and it would be too dangerous for them to decide much anything concerning their lives. I for example have authority over my life but there is pressure for me to accomplish traditional duties that are for women ‘naturally’. My choices are and have been unconventional and questions I hear in repeat tell the same old story where it is almost impossible to imagine and understand why someone does the things I do. It is of course an issue that ironically said does not concern others but me, still anything breaking the ‘normal’ becomes a topic to discuss as does teenage pregnancy, who the daddy is etc. In my case meaning of speech outside of me of me is to control me, judging is one form of control where the guilty one is outside. Those who can talk among themselves and understand each other have power to make decisions and pass judgments. So how do I control myself here? First feelings, then thoughts and then what I say and do. I control myself pretty well, how about you? To control urges, desires, habits is what we call civilised, civil behaviour and it has been how we have made distinction between humans and animals and between people. To know where the limit goes is matter of education. And what are those limits deemed to be broken, how progress happens.
Sometimes when it is about adults still one has to talk like talking to minors: When one talks whatever and word is passed forward, it cannot be controlled. I too make judgments of people. I make them by how they treat others. This is about how one controls one’s behaviour towards others, it is about respect and knowing boundaries there are. It is about knowing what human worth is, how to value life of any being. To control our violent urges and needs we stay in a state of not harming.
https://aeon.co/essays/there-is-no-shame-worse-than-poor-teeth-in-a-rich-world “I learnt early and often that one doesn’t leave a place, class or culture and enter another, but rather holds the privilege and burden of many narratives simultaneously.”