When you are born a girl. Don’t u want to b wanted?

Älä pelkää/Don’t be afraid, photocut on wall, 2012

The experience of growing up as a girl is important in becoming a woman, it’s defining. Not only the body parts that you’ll have tell of sex, but female is not a feeling nor an idea that can be artificially built. To have a vagina is not the only thing to have to be female, if it was so simple as operating the outer sexual organs you to change your sex, we’d be very simple organisms indeed and simplicity and functionality is what we as modern humans aim at. We do look at others as appearances and make judgments based on what we see. But we are simple even the thought of it is repulsive. We are very complex (never forget) and that complexity makes us human and beautifully unique on this planet. This is one reason I defend women’s right to be called women not menstruators or bleeders or what other horrid names men have invented to wipe women’s rights and our significance as humans, creators and caretakers out. Mother is much more than just a birthing person. To simplify a person via the act of giving birth, what is that? What motivation there is to simplify a person? They are never good. That is a tale from dystopian world where women are birthing people and that is their sole purpose. What happens via and in women’s bodies is via this new speech making women instrumental, like technicality talk and women should accept it. It is pure objectification as is all plastic surgery and imitation of women, ultra femininity as it is called at its most extremist, a fetish making the doll woman an ideal and call her beautiful is what she wants to hear.

To silence women for speaking out against this nonsense and body fascism, I don’t find it any different from chauvinism, traditionalism and misogyny. It is regressive and abusive. Boycotting women who defend girls’ and women’s rights is the same old and to have this forced upon is to belittle our voices, bodies and minds. Our need for our spaces, safety, our reasoning to be heard and our experiences as more than just bodies are important, they are fought rights and must be protected because they are not self-evident. To be a woman is not celebrated by terms such as cervix-havers and chest-feeders,breast-feeders, it is humiliating to hear females become their body parts only. It is resentful and ugly to even have this kind of fight in contemporary world. Mind you freedom of speech and opinion. I don’t accept delusions for facts and forcing this new ‘education’ on all of us isn’t freedom. It is infantile and vengeful.

As I have experienced it, to be a girl is very different than being a boy. Boys did more exciting things and at some point I was not allowed to participate anymore as I aged out growing breasts and stuff. Boys and girls bully each other which is normal, girls are also sexually harassed by adults. The differences between sexes exist to large extent and massively so, that to minimize it, is foolish and untruthful, like white working class girls’ experiences can be more violent and abusive still in today’s world and nobody notices. Something easily accessible and to discard. When you have no money, you do not have power. Girls are cruel against other girls too. I suppose it is a way of competition and something go through. To be different is the worst thing, but what can you do, adapt or perish? Neither is an option. A girl must be very careful and learn it, it is a tightrope on which a girl learns to balance. One has to learn that you can be groped in broad daylight in the middle of a school yard and that is fun for boys, they do it in groups. They continue this to adulthood and think women don’t know. Some don’t. Grouping is important for most humans, see tribalism. To me it is a sign of weakness, but a group is powerful even (especially) in stupidity. That you can be stalked, you will be checked up as long as you look alright for males by the appearance, pedigree, inheritance, that is all that matters, how you can benefit them. You will be measured by your looks always, that never ends. Your intelligence is under constant scrutiny. It is a way to use power over you, that never ends. Testing you never ends. So how does a girl become empowered? For me the number one thing has been education, the only thing since looks is not that interesting to me in a person, for others it is probably the most interesting thing, as a girl I was shook by this: I am my body and that should empower me. To be beautiful is everything and nothing. So what is me? Who is this person and what is she to become?

Like today you are your body and that is it, it is your measure, it is a message. You become you when you can fix things that bother you in your body. Why things bother people is because of other people. Everything in your body is noticed, cellulite, fat, wrinkles, legs, hips, ass, thighs, lips, hair, neck, skin, breasts, smells, calves, nose and body hair. You can disturb all this by doing the opposite. Freak people out, it is easy for a girl. We should follow instructions and when we don’t we stick out.

As a girl I was more scared and timid, also I was looked at in a different kind of way like I had less potential and I was less important. I guess I had that scared look on my face which made it even worse, me an easy target. So, don’t be scared or don’t show it. We are still animals. And learn to question everything, especially the authority. They don’t like, it is reason enough. To be liked is not a sufficient aim in life. When they find out your potential, the reactions can be primitive. Equality talk is often just that, talk.

Finding potential where there isn’t any, yeah it’s a dead-end, as is pleasing everyone .

Girls on net: in search of a porno monster.

Drawings 2015-2017, pencil on paper from images online.  On some of them there is a website address which is not meant for advertising purposes in this case. It is part of the visual world of erotic internet and I have let the writing be part of the art. Visuals which are very attacking look-at-me, you-want-me, this-is-to-want, bright but kind of plain, repetitious and straightforwardly recognisable aesthetics of porn that does not need explaining, at least that is what I think at first glance. The easiness and little effort that is required makes the whole thing approachable which is the meaning of fun. Fast culture to consume, enjoy and produce, quick pleasure getting straight to the point and issue at hand which is satisfying urges of watching, thinking, touching and fucking, which are always there, urgent, instantly, daily. Images in professional and amateur porn are framed so that limbs, hands and legs, may be only partially visible. The point are the holes, flesh, skin, expressions, poses, her wanting this badly, to be like a thing out of order, out of control and her parts to be penetrated as the main course.

Display of genitalia, proportions, body mass in the right places, spreading open showing it, the vulgarity of it is the unexpected but still banal and dirty setting people on immediate reaction, may it be rejection, thrill, repulsion or something else that varies from laughter to numbness, but it is a personally felt position that carries out our moral views, inhibitions, curiosity, strong feelings and desires to be let loose or stay unchanged. Having something to do with fears, taboo breaking, daring, being bad? Secrets online in plain view is an interesting concept that contradicts with the restricting, fearful and intolerant atmosphere towards sex, sexuality and nudity globally and online. Question there is what is the voluntary part of women here, what are they doing exactly and why? Some kind of ancient image of sexuality being part of religious rituals and beliefs comes to mind. Is this sexuality what is wanted of women, self-expression, something honest, feminine or just a sexually loaded product which keeps women as something to look at in a certain way and be just this image and pose, wanted as an image? When is it good or bad enough, this frame, as it is banal, fast, cheap and available and the platform is free as is expression? To express oneself in pornographic way is it giving everything away as a person or is it just acting, art as such? What was the secret again which is revealed in porn, for viewer to know, secret being there no longer but still hush-hush, a happening in between the viewer and the performer and does porn remove shame, intolerance, misogyny, ignorance towards sex and liberate us?

Drawing does not take the explicit nature away, but is nudity and sex more approachable as art?

Is it girlhood having a crisis?

Crises are normal part of life. Life is a continuation of crisis after crisis. In this light to speak of midlife crisis is absurd. It is as if one had waited and endured till midlife to erupt and be able to do what one desires to do and be. It is an image of people who are under control in straitjackets which they are not allowed to be stripped away from. It is an image of a world where people are not free to decide for themselves. In this image they are slaves to traditions and ideas of gone generations who do not allow new ideas of living because those ideas threat authority, way of life and the whole idea of what is seen as good, what kind of society is good. Who does this kinds of straitjacket good serve is a good question. What is accomplished by it, by militant control? Thoughts on what is good for anybody is dictated from above. In this dictatorship girls and women serve this unchangeable monolith of patriarchy and are replaceable second-class citizens, are threatened and bullied into silence, shame and intolerance without human rights. Monolith that is scared of girls and their education, their bodies and minds is a weak society. It is a tale of men who are terrified of female power.

Asking if girlhood is having a crisis is therefore funny as to me girlhood is and was a bloody crisis. To be told of entering men’s world when I am being stared at and my body being commented by adults was sheer horror. To live for amusement of others was and is the thought of the ideology of chauvinism and sexism which I resent with all my being. I feel nausea when I think of walking and being looked at and shouted at. I truly hope boys will be raised to see girls and women as equals not servants to men, not sexual objects of desire, but thinking and feeling persons, makers of lives of their own. To be a girl in a world where perfection is seen via male perspective, body and what a man can do bring feelings of powerlessness and fear. Yes girls are small and they are easy to rule which makes the having and making of girl brides seem pathetic and sadistic. Those who wish to have children to rape are moronic criminals and brutes, sadists who see evil in children and not in themselves. World where children are subjugated moronic criminals and brutes has a bloody future.

http://www.reproductiverights.org/feature/fighting-for-girlhood?s_src=16SOC0815&s_subsrc=datasync&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=16SOC0815“Stopping the continuum of harm that is triggered by early marriage is only possible when governments fully implement laws and policies that prohibit child marriage, and when women are aware of their rights and empowered to make decisions about marriage,” says Upreti.”