It is something we need to have and be all the time at constant conflict with ourselves.

We need reassurance that we are beautiful and worthy as we are and yes people need to be told that they are worthy, needed and meaningful. But it seems we do not know how to appreciate originality and personal appearance enough in a world where nothing is enough. It is a task for women’s magazines and zillions of websites targeted at women to make women feel good about themselves as they are incapable in convincing themselves. It is a question of comparison and thinking that the other has things better than me. A sign of low self-esteem and culture that is filled with hate against difference. Fear of sticking out and abandonment is present. It is a horror stage play of bullies and those who are scared of being left alone and want to believe in pleasing tactics. We seek to be similar to those who get the attention and are adored because of their outer beauty which fits the standards set. Ultimate desirable teenage dream of finding a perfect fuck buddy, flawlessness which is close to nothing in the end. The scare of losing, being defeated and put down keep us going and never grow up. Perfection is someone to own and show off, to conquer like a piece of land and property. It is so much easier to perceive a person as an object and treat people as such. To grow beyond that requires emotional and intellectual effort which can be painful and revealing our weakness. One who is afraid of oneself in the process is not going to change. Those cowards are many who stay unable to face themselves. It is very different to alter your outer self than your inner mind. A learning process which is very lonely and insecure scares the shit out of people. And what can be found or discovered and will anything change eventually for better can raise doubts. It is to live on chance.
What is it to actually charm anyone? Do you charm yourself?

“Learn the art of Charm & Cheek: Kitty Cavalier’s School of Charm & Cheek is for women who want to learn how to reclaim those two elements as a source of power and to know themselves more deeply and intimately. She explains that Charm is the sensation of pleasing or delight, and Cheek is endearingly irreverent. They’re the Ying & Yang of living a really fun & joyous life. Too much charm can be cute & pretty but you always need a little cheek”. – See more at: