When we aim to attract what do we do? We manipulate and change our appearance.

Question is a multilevel one. It is to ask what is attractive, how do we define attractive and what do we make of it. Value of looking like perfection is high. How do we make ourselves attractive, more and more attractive? What attracts us and why? Why should one attract when it is almost all there is to a person? It is an asset to gain something and currency, it is of course a matter of survival. What are motives to attract other than that, to feel good about yourself, yes and making things happen. Is it a give and take situation, a very simple one where my looks tells the other what I am for, what I want and who I am? How does attraction change along the years? What kind of people are attracted to each other? What is the attraction, a lure there? What is there to get, is it all good or something to be careful for? Is attraction the interesting part of us, does it make an interesting person, yes doesn’t it and in what way, the one who is attractive and the one who gets attracted to?

Interesting part is the what is there for me. I do this and this to match an ideal to please the eye and mind which is accepting or rejecting. Attraction is a calculation and a play. We deem ugly or beautiful within seconds, all kinds of reactions come forward. We know what we like and usually reasons to like someone’s appearance are very straightforwardly sexual. This is seen normal and something we are pushed to think, not profoundly but on surface. To question this in any way is odd. In an era of images we make judgments based on looks very hastily still even though we know it is an image, 2-dimensional picture, an illusion, maybe there is only one dimension. Where the interest lies is merely the physical attraction which to us is highly important and via which we move on in the world. All revolves around it, looks and sex and what we see, how we evaluate the seen and what does it mean what we just saw.

To modify and manipulate our appearance we can make ourselves more attractive more alluring and more interesting to be more popular and successful. To evaluate value of success which comes via looks one can say: should I be interested? What happens when you do the opposite and do not pay attention to your looks? And what does physical attraction mean when it is the most important measure of one’s worth?

What you don’t want a blowjob anymore? Oh dear, how unfortunate.



What there is to know?

How do you look at people? How do you look at women? Do you look at men differently and why? Do you think of people’s clothing, that their looks make stories of them who they are and what do those details tell you? Do you compare yourself to others? Do you have specific ideas of what certain people should be wearing and look like to be accepted and respected? What does appearance mean to you and how important it is for you as means of expression, telling of status, ideas, occupation, priorities, wealth, interests, character, intellect, creativity and what goes on in someone’s mind and life? How much of this thinking process is rational and what is irrational, how much is based on feelings and hanging on to stereotypes? How much do you enjoy people get hurt? What do you make of this hurt?

How much do you judge people by their appearance and how does that happen? Is a constant way for you to put people down in their places to be controlled and bullied, you above or on the same level? How does that make you feel? What do you do when you judge, what kind of process is it? Do you do it without hesitation, without second thought? Do you make visible reactions, gestures, do you speak of what you have seen, a version of yours to someone who will have same kind of reactions and thoughts as you do? What kinds of reactions do you show and give to people or do you keep those assumptions to yourself? Do you ever wonder why do you think the way you do? How do you understand justification for behaviour where people are what they look like, that people represent specific types of people who do not change, which they can’t help and change, over which they do not have power. What do you think when people are unable to have a say over what is spoken of them, that it is taken for granted people are what they look like, represent and this is passed forward as such without being self-critical. People who speak of other people and their ‘flaws’ surely are perfect, aren’t they. Situation is they have been granted acceptance within a group and from that security they speak. How weak is that. To understand our weaknesses is to admit to them.

Physical violence is not the only form of violence and when you see blood you can either scream or do something about it. How much do you think you have responsibility on what you say, how much your word weighs, how trustworthy are you? What is your responsibility concerning judgment, equality, human rights and human relations? What do you think keeps segregation, class, bullying, fear of difference alive, gaps between us? Who is interested in truth and how to find it?

Could you analyse these sentences: I find you interesting. Do you like anal sex?

You can send me your answers hjoronen@gmail.com Cheers!

P.S. You can tell me whether you like anal sex or not and why. I don’t base my interest on anyone by sexual preferences or try to trick by telling first someone is interesting and would you have kinky sex with me kind of way if you know what I mean. Thank you.