http://thinkprogress.org/world/2016/02/29/3754753/pakistan-honor/ “Rafia Asim of the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan told ThinkProgress last year that her organization receives information about an average of 30 “honor killings” a month across just over one third of the country’s districts.”
When we find honor via other people through what they are and mean to us we see other people as extensions to us, parts of us that are elementary but controllable ones. When what other people represent as wholes or just parts that fill the whole of you how whole are you? When to bring honor is master-subject relationship, tyranny, ownership of slaves kind of relationship, what kind of honor is there and how easily it can be put to dirt. Honor which is taken away and put to dirt must be cleaned, revenged, suffered for and for many people honor is found only through suffering, hurt and pain. To have no honor is a stigma and people with no honor for whom that state is given which is strongly dictated by society and community are usually lost people. When property is source of honor and that property does everything that is expected of it honor is very short-lived and easily lost, pride is to have that relationship with property unchanged, property following plan that is given for it because there is no other way to live. To dishonor is to break something that should not be broken all happening in life must happen within rules that are deemed codes for living unchangeable, solid and holy. When there is an institution which has all power to give life and take it, it has taken place of god, doing work that has been taken from god, thinking this position is given by god for a reason and this power cannot be questioned, taken away or rebelled against because it is good and righteousness. When children rebel against their parents it is mostly seen as dishonoring and bad behavior, bad judgement and wrong against an institution. Our relationship to our parents is juggling between whether to do what they want or what we want, when we become aware of power we have over our own lives and bodies and often parents see those bodies they have given life to as their possessions.
Family and parents are those who in many parts of the world have absolute authority over their children especially girls. Though it is common still everywhere that parents guide their children in the direction chosen by the parents themselves pressuring career choice in making money, status and name, having grandchildren, making money to buy a standard of living, doing things that parents see proper to do in life and as honorable things to do continuing ready-made paths of living and way of life in which certain objects and signs of success belong. To fail is to do the opposite. It is to disagree, disapprove and that alone can be disrespect too much to take. To honor is to be honorable in the eyes of the rest, of those who are comparing and to whom we compare, why else honor would exist as strongly as it does. We feel deeply ashamed and can be shamed in front of other people when we do what is seen shameful, disrespectful in a community braking rules and traditions, hierarchy and authority jeopardized. To disrespect is to take power and find power of oneself, to understand that there is no honor in doing only what is expected of you. Of course there is disrespect which has no honor and that is disrespecting human rights, disrespecting dignity, disrespecting authority to self and anyone’s autonomy to know what one can do in life. How to find dignity when it is almost undignified and a burden to be born a girl? When dignity is to do what you are told to do and nothing else.