Obsession – Naisen kahdet kasvot
Pyydämme ystävällisesti teitä palauttamaan tai uusimaan myöhässä olevat lainanne. Myöhästymismaksujen lisäksi perimme muistutuksen postituskulut. Myöhästymismaksut kertyvät päivittäin eräpäivän jälkeen siihen saakka, kunnes lainat palautetaan tai uusitaan. Tämä palautuspyyntö on aiheeton, jos lainat on jo palautettu tai uusittu
Those middle class commies in the arts are the worst hypocrites there are. Cheers!
On uusnatseja, piilonatseja eli kaappinatseja, mutta natsismi eli kansallissosialismi (saks. Nationalsozialismus) natsismi (saks. Nazismus), puolue on kielletty, joten sana natsi ei ole käyttökelpoinen, kai, mutta fasisteja on. Elämme näennäiskapitalismissa, monen mielestä kapitalismin jälkeisessä ajassa, valinnaisesti feodalismissa tai neoliberalistisessa kyttäysyhteiskunnassa, joka tällä hetkellä pohjautuu ihmisten työn, ajan ja huomion hyväksikäytölle, luonnonvarojen ja eläinten riistolle tai pelkästään riistolle, koska olemme materiaalia, jota käytetään, mutta älä vaan sano mitään vastaan. Et kai ole tuloksellisuutta ja menestystä vastaan? Et kai ole näkyvyyttä ja bisnestä vastaan? Bisnes is bisnes and you are the bisnes. Siinäkin mielessä on koomista puhua turvallisesta tilasta ja turvallisuudesta. Mitä se tarkoittaa? Joku yksittäinen ihminen ei koe oloansa uhatuksi sanoilla? Fasistinen yhteiskunta toimii jatkuvan tarkkailun ja kontrolloinin kautta pyrkien hallittuun samankaltaisuuteen ja samanmielisyyteen. Miten pitkälle nykykulttuuri toimii varkaan lailla esimerkiksi taiteessa ja populaarikulttuurissa, Suomen elokuva jostain syystä ei keksi omaa juttua, vaan kopioi ulkomailta sapluunan omaisesti ja toimintatapa on ilmeisen hyväksytty, jää miettimään, miksi ihmeessä. Eikö näennäisesti runsas ja hyvävointinen kulttuurimme olekaan luova? Ilmeisesti tulosta tulee, ei taidetta tosin, eikä juuri mitään kiinnostavaa uutta suomalaista. Ja onko se suomalaista, jos se on kopioitu? Joukosta poikkeavat kovaääniset erimieliset erotetaan heti, etenkin taiteessa ja he aivan kuin katoavat. He eivät myy tarpeeksi tai ovat vaarallisia? Mikä vaara on nykyään, jos oikeaa vaaraa ei enää tunnisteta?
Autoritaarinen eh-feodalismi-mukakapitalismi on yksi termi tälle möhkäleelle, jossa elämme. Turva siinä on ainoastaan rahalla ja uhkailulla hankittua. Siitä ei oikein saa kiinni eikä osaa selittää, mistä on kysymys, mutta fasismi jotenkin aukenee tässä kohtaa. Jostain syystä fasismi toimii hyvin terminä ja on paljon käytetty nimenomaan syytöksenä milloin mistäkin, liian ankarasta kritiikistä? Elämmekin jo fasismissa, se on kuorrutettu hyvännäköisillä valokuvilla ja hyveposeerauksella, eikö se ollut natsien tyyli. Olemme niin onnellisia näennäisdemokratiasta, jossa valta on suuryrityksillä, puhelimilla ja hyvillä aikeilla ja rasismin vastustuksella, joiden hyvä vaikutus kestää sen puheen pituuden verran. Fasismi on pelottava sana ja menneisyys ja tulee sellainen olo että, pois se minusta, hyi helvetti. Kuinka kieltäytyä, kun sinut unohdetaan ihan tietoisesti, jos et tee kuten sinun käsketään tehdä, työsi käytetään muiden hyväksi, ei sinun ja voi olla, että sinua ei ole olemassakaan. Vaatii mielenlujuutta nykyään tehdä ja ajatella kuten parhaaksi näkee. Kieltäytyminen ja vastaansanominen tarkoittavat, että olet niin totaalisen ulkopuolella sieltä, missä jotain jonkun mielestä tapahtuu, että epätoivo voi hiipiä mieleen. Ja miksi haluaisit sellaiseen paikkaan, missä sinulle sanotaan, mitä pitää ajatella? Ei se ole taidetta. Omaan totuuteensa täytyy siis uskoa täysin. Oma totuus tässä tapauksessa luottaa siihen, mitä on todella. Ei voi olla niin, että tunteet määrittävät todellisuuden, mikä on oikein ja väärin. On pakko olla olemassa jokin yleinen sovittu tieteen avulla määritelty oikea. Nykyään täytyisi luottaa jonkun toisen tunteisiin ja kunnioittaa niitä, koska mikään muu on epäkunnioittavaa. Luulen, että kunnioituskin täytyy ansaita, aivan kuten ansiomerkit.
Raiskaus, raiskaus, raiskaus, puskaraiskaus.
La Bush.
Or in da Bush.
Descent into hell. Icon. Second half of the 14th century. Collection of the State Russian Museum
Divine Harmony, there was a dark hair in between the first pages of the booklet. Lucernarium psalms and stikhirad (verses)
O mild Light, mercy of Peace, praise
troparion (something repeated) short hymn
polyphonic we
drink coffee out of vases,
hang ourselves to trees and ceilings
no time to get gloomy though
Week of the Blindman with clay in his eyes
I think he was telling me the truth on Easter Monday.
Couple of lines from a movie Big Bullet written down for fun: My name is Bird. My name is Bird. My name is Bird.
Don’t stare at me. Please. My name is Apple. Forget Fiona.
My name is Jeff. Anything else?
My name is Tongues of fire?
Maybe, You want blood on your hands? Why would I want that?
pencil on paper, acrylic on canvas, 2021
River of no return
How many takes?
She was very sweet. She was a comedian. She was very shy. She was fuck me. She was very uncomfortable. She was convinced, she was not very sexy and pretty. She didn’t have an aura of sexiness about her. There was some magic about her, she would play at it. She would burlesque it. She seemed like a lost child. It seemed to her like Alice in Wonderland and she could not believe it. Anybody was very serious about her. She really felt she didn’t have the inner qualifications to fulfil the image of a sex goddess. She thought that the whole thing was a lie, because it was not her. She would never feel worthy. She was very very difficult. She was vulnerable. She was weak. She was teary. She was struggling. She was falling apart. She was hurt. She was an addict. She was needy. She was difficult. She was in pain. She was adorable. She was drunk. She was nice. She was childlike. She was late. She was lovely. She was hanging on. She was calling me. She was calling everybody. She was caring. She was unprofessional. She was sexy. She was beautiful. She was funny. She was doing the thing that was wanted of her, she was not doing what she wanted.
Watercolours are fun and they are also seen as a feminine art form. Don’t know why, domesticated and light?
To be comfortable in your body is an idea where one’s humanness doesn’t give you any sensations of the negative, you just live in bliss of happiness and glide, which sounds really odd as a woman and I have had hard time believing in this nonsense. As a person who has daily highs and lows of anxiety (which I suppose everybody has) and feeling ok occasionally, I have had to learn how to live with a very active emotional life. Explosive temper since childhood for a girl is not celebrated, there is something wrong with you, you are evil and what not, crazy. I have heard I am very zen usually by people who don’t know me, which I have aimed to be on the outside (not to disturb anybody’s peace other than in art), it is not even difficult for me, but I do get angry, which is not allowed for women especially and showing anger, dear Lord, don’t break anything. People can’t tolerate other people’s anxieties not their own and I suppose they should not be this level concerned constantly of anxieties and comfort. Neither can they tolerate a very quiet person, which has made me think, what of others do we not see and think it is not there and how much noise is essential to feel comfortable, although you can’t take it when someone shows anger or just says against your opinion? People are also tested how long does it take to lose temper, well test away. Zen is fun. People get anxiety today when they are still a long time, are isolated for weeks and can’t travel. How human it is to be able to be constantly comfortable is very aristocratic idea, people demand differently today than before? We are used to luxury in comparison to life hundred years ago. (or are they constipated today, but looking fine.) Think about stomach pain and diarrhea or sleeplessness. We medicate everything away and invisible. This goes out for people too who are unpleasant in any way making people feel uncomfortable. Now we should pay attention. The negative is there to make us think and notice, and we think about our own bodies and comfort constantly and nothing is never good enough. The negative like pain, shame, hunger (which we should be feeling more), fear, feeling inadequate, fear of losing etc. do have reasons to exist. Aging, bodily changes and disturbing bulges truly are brushed away as much as possible. How about our weaknesses like narcissism?
How do we make progress in comfort and luxury? I have started to think, we don’t. To make progress we need criticism, push back, hardship, conversation and debate, visible effort and work that one can feel one has done something oneself and made it. This is especially important for women who have been told we may not, can not, should not, must not, definitely not. We are going backwards in many ways, criticism being one part of culture that is dullen down and silenced, violently. Die terf is a common enough phrase online and on the streets. Women’s rights being one issue, education another under serious threat and the speed of degeneration is fast. Firing professors who say biology is biology and sex is a biological fact is against science. Erasing the word woman and thinking surgery fixes men into women and they are real women, is what all should accept just like that, is itself a very totalitarian command and childlike tantrums make everybody scared for their jobs. Talking about safe spaces when women aren’t safe to say true things about their own biology is bizarre to the max. The whole idea is absurd and offensive to women, which is a non-issue today like adulthood seems to be. Women’s feelings and safety do not count when men need to be called real women and how many men there are who defend this? It is ominous, the vulnerable men. Speaking out against lunacy and clear mislabelling, is according to activists, violence against a vulnerable part of population. Vulnerability is one, protecting childish needs is something we need to be doing? Wanting doesn’t get, someone used to say. One cause to all of this is plastic surgery and how it is available around the world. Reality TV giving instructions on how to look and behave and bank on all of this. Our decline is evident. I am glad there are voices who speak against the antifeminist movement of self-ID. People have been identifying as whatever before but they haven’t been taken this seriously before, so seriously that working people get hurt. To be good at heart means you are concerned what happens in the world and for people. This is not a good development.
Comments
strange to be commented by people about my weight who themselves are fat
strange to be commented by people who themselves do not know how to dress well, they just think they do or is it just expensive?
strange to be commented by people who have an alcohol problem about addictions and behaviour of others
strange to be commented by people who clearly are not well in the head but think they are. To think you are well when you are not and you go on hating other people for it.
strange to be commented by people who have issues, the same people are pointing out issues of others like they were any concern of theirs and they have the same issues?
strange to be commented by people who don’t know what they are talking about but still talk
strange to be commented by people who do not know you or better yet have never met you, they heard about you
strange to be commented by people who think they are superior when they in many ways are not, they are superior because of they have never fallen down on a wet grass?
Strange is to care about any of this and
http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2016/08/anorexia-breast-binding-and-legitimisation-body-hatred ““Don’t you get it? you yelled back. I will never feel as free as you do, I will never feel as at home in the world. I will never feel as at home in my own skin. That’s just the way it is, and always will be.””