Sex is everything, everything is sex.

I’m thinking how to begin.. mum, I’m a lesbian. She will choke on her coffee and start laughing, cough and cough and look at me with wtf on her face, now this of all the things. How fucking weird are you? I know this or she will be like aha, and then I will start laughing and it will be all good.., and then she will ask do I have a girlfriend. I would say aha yes, she is ten years older than I am. Another choke. She will ask if I am taking my medication. About sex she would not dare to ask, I think. She would have to sleep on it. And then she’ll go and tell her friends that she has a lesbian daughter. There will be a silence, nobody would not know what to say. Hypothetically of course. Just creating an image in my mind what would happen if, you know. Though I might want to give horror to my mother just for fun. Like Merry Christmas Mother.
It is something that needs to be told to parents and the rest of the family that you are not straight because reproduction concerns family, because this hetero-thing has been in the family for ages. Where did you get this from, a freak. Family is something that is talked about with friends, co-workers, everywhere it is somehow important where you come from. But usually having lived in the same family the secret has been revealed little by little. It is a big issue in life who you love, how you have sex, what kinds of relationships you have, are you normal. I have been trying to understand the importance and part next of kin play in choosing profession, partner, way of living and how much do family decide for you. Question is how much do other people can decide for someone directly and indirectly. It is a guardianship that lasts the rest of one’s life up to a point. It is about self-awareness, obedience, being one’s own person and not someone who other people want you to be, if you can. But other people have quite much demands on you. To fail those demands in many cases means failing as a person. It is a programmed way to behave and think to do as you are asked or commanded to do which heteronormative structure is all about, order, structure, maintaining posture which must be spotless. It is about denial, forbidding odds, swings, mess is what has to be kept hidden. For someone to be gay means all are going to know that there is a freak in the family to which we do not know how to react.


Sharing is caring. Is gossiping about social skills or lack of them?

Ethically produced knowledge and learning? Sure thing, don’t know about the ethics though, a production, yes. Stand point to gossip is that it is all around, unavoidable as it seems. Why people do it? It obviously plays the essential part of entertaining as everyday soap without TV. Why do you think even though we know it is morally wrong and there is no justification to gossip people find gossip appealing? It brings together similar minded jackasses and separates those who can be discussed about. Gossip sure has a place in society, but why through doing harm we look for something interesting, excitement and shock value. Good and nice are not enough, boring maybe? We need the shock, danger, exposure, element of forbidden in digging other people’s lives and to seek humiliation on others, shame of those who are in the spotlight? Obviously, why else bad talk would flourish to the extent it does. Gossiping is a major seller of goods and magazines making celebrities. It is an emotional boost of either wanting what that other fabulous person has or loathing and hating someone to exclude them, make them feel bad about themselves. I see it merely as public expression of emotions and desires, which has very little to do with reason. Gossip is psychological warfare, violence and shows the ugly side of people, of those who gossip. getting things out of proportion, out of context, false and to make the talker look better than the one who is talked about. It is much a moral issue in which those who make gossip think have morals on their side, have higher morals than and know what is morally right. Gossiping people do not see anything wrong in their behavior until they are caught. It is a mental assault to team against someone, cruel, bullying, hurtful and ruthless. It does not stop until it is stopped.

If I look at the phenomenon of word getting around, it is irreversible and damaging. Gossip is targeting with a purpose, practical with a specific meaning. In that way it is very social, needs relations and skills to spread. If you really don’t know what you are talking about, why don’t you keep your fucking mouth shut. If your only purpose is to harm those you for some reason do not like, you have got some serious issues that need tending. “For example, it has been theorized that gossip played a fundamental role in the evolution of human intelligence and social life (Dunbar, 2004; Davis & McLeod, 2003) and that it continues to play an active role in cultural learning (Baumeister, Zhang, & Vohs, 2004) and as a source of social comparison information (Suls, 1977; Wert & Salovey, 2004a). To be sure, it is often noted that rumor and gossip can also be undeniably aversive and problematic-currently illustrated, for example, in the way that rumor and gossip have generated resistance to medical efforts to deal with HIV and AIDS (e.g., Smith, Lucas, & Latkin, 1999; Stadler, 2003).”

If it is good, huray! Cheeky then wehey! Blog sensations: News Agency for the good ppl. Don’t forget to share. Check your facts or/and check your head.

The Gossip and making of it: The contradiction in me is the contradiction shown to me, because it is the flaw that should not be but is.

I tell you my personal point of view so there is no need to speculate how I see myself: The very personal issue of all to all is how to be accepted and stay accepted. How does it happen, what do I have to do and be like to be accepted. As an idea it is the basic human problem, relevant, important and at the same time very unnecessary as there is the constant message in the air that we are to be accepted as we are, loved as such, especially children who are what they are without much possibility and need to be something else. Children do not fake themselves, act phony unless there is a punishment, judgment, shadow, fear etc. telling to do otherwise than what they do. They learn to fake it when it becomes clear they are not what they are supposed to be, they are not doing what they are expected to do. This has been the core issue in my life. There has always been talk around me about me, which talk is not meant for me to know. I have been aware and observing as artists and children do… So I am being analysed by others to others but not analysed to me or asked how I see things. I am left out for whatever reason. Something wrong about me has been defined and has been made a story. Good things do not make such a good story, right? It is not good to talk what is good? That there is idea that there is nothing wrong with the environment or people, but the error and flaw is in me because I am different. Issue of gossip and talk has been there all my life without me, still, somehow never stopping. I am there but I am not there. I am scary and I have to be scared. This is sad history and has made me feel inadequate and really puzzled about how am I supposed be, which has made me work even harder. I somehow do not exist and exist at the same time. So you understand that I really don’t understand how to be in the world of people. If you get what I mean.

It is no wonder I was lost and still am. State of lost and loss has become my tools and topic, good thing and bad, good and evil. I juggle and experiment. I provoke with my mere existence as is evident, now I enjoy the provocation and know how to create from and with it, to identify with obscure and weird and what is odd exactly. It does not take much to seem crazy and out of balance, become scared and build a bubble. I take the provocation as far as I can to see what happens. People make things happen. Very small tiny things move them, move their lips, make them talk. It is easy to say I am cynical. I see myself as having an organic part in a human game and as a researcher, what else could I do? If I give you information why do you share it, what are your motives for that? And what have been the motives to gossip behind my back all a long? How am I the cynical one here one can ask. I just study you. I know myself. It is healthy to learn to know thyself. It is called growing. To seek flaws in me is the same old same old as is the not giving me any credit for my exceptional talent, which is obvious and oh so demanding. Does it have something to do with my gender??

There is and has been a great chance for me to get badly hurt, but I am already all the time in a state of hurt, which is like built-in me, so it does not make much effort to take the hurt further and further little by little and see how much hurt people are willing to make. I have learned to place hurt and everyday reality to their places, into perspective of research and art. What hurts me, probably would kill you. Most it hurts to see how little people change and what kind of things make them talk. It is what makes the world go round. That is the sad part. As I test my limits it means I make progress. Pain and work are parts of that personal progress. So if I as an artist and human being begin to be accepted as such, it will be the most strange place I could be. One becomes used to of not being accepted. Contempt, suspicion, rejection, humiliation and hate are parts of that world. To understand me it is good to understand where I come from. It is a very different place and view-point. To think my world is unharmed, pink and naive is unbelievably naive.

Please begin to explore your minds, if you haven’t started yet. Let the healing begin. There is a saying of better late than never. In the case of making gossip better it is never. Oh what a contradiction. To see yourself as you are can be a good thing. To like has to live a kind of life one wants, be the kind of person one likes.

accomplished, so we can move on and in time forget. To volunteer to battle, did he? How much is obligation? offered himself to make peace, sacrifice of one life, he felt he had nothing to lose and much to gain, he had much love for the living and life, he felt thankful. I think he was sincere.

cruel, cruelty to look over, to pass by as you never knew, to but, raising to but my glass

we should live, not hide in corners frightened by the news, by threats

turmoil, described as weather,

as form in nature where one cannot see inside like dark forest or cave.

despondent melancholy, calling it sadness, sorrowful, cry, woe

Will to live. Will! Wiiiilllllllll!!! Will to whistle.

Selfless. When will a person become without self. Person and ego will fade. To see the process. He Isn’t himself anymore. To be looked at as Vulnerability.

potential effects added emotional vocabulary so recent

ranging from misplaced judgment,subtle to severe, but oh to hail, and,damaging
targets of national importance

to put in place Emotional mapping with tape,

tools, know ways of good,

and a framework to enable government to make decisions over the increasing militarization of the internet. potentially aggressive

Despair a feeling and lack, vital urge not fulfilled, hunger and horror put together. Needless, powerless, not wanted. There is something repulsive, foul, nasty, criminal and insane. There are different levels of hopelessness, despair as some lowest point on emotional map. Despair when person doesn’t understand that one has power and at least one choice. be Capable of, find the things one is capable of. How does that happen? What is needed that someone realizes one’s opportunities and chances in a situation when there are none seen or close by? Encouragement, example, teacher, text, kind words by someone keep us going.