To set oneself on fire: Emotions in making revolution. Why do we cry?

6.1 Fury and rage
6.2 It’s a crazy world we live in.
6.3 Headache.
6.4 Change is the only absolute.

Introduction: With their prizes and demonstrations of power, to whom should these odd chemical reactions be given.

The notorious one, a man with a gun, is celebrated. Firearms make one look powerful, fierce, in control, man or woman with stamina, muscles and credibility in a certain world which in part is a fantasy world and power in question a fabrication, a matter of violent competition. Do we believe in that power which killing machines bring because we have to? Is the power lure of money which is tightly entwined with the world of firearms? We should be scared (even though a politician can say there is nothing to be scared of, which was some years back an election slogan of a Finnish politician. Maybe inside the bubble of his there are no threats.) and we are scared of losing everything which is happening to millions of people. When we grab a weapon we are less scared making some other people scared of us? Fear, greed and pride cloud our judgment pretty effectively. Many are in part rightly thinking the only protection in brutal world is an attack and that is why we buy guns, admire them for their capabilities and effectiveness. Firearms are phallic just like architecture can be. To own weapons has been a right as we must be able to defend ourselves. It is him or me, kill or be killed.

We are emotional beings and terrified of losing, failure, being shamed, emotionally tied to protecting what we appreciate and love. We can hope emotions and pride don’t cloud our judgment in making calls for war, but that is a mere hope. All the time people kill people and wage war, all kinds. Rhetorics of war is in use in sports and I have come to think fighting and battling are the very human ways of survival and necessary to prove our worth. We can’t live in peace even with ourselves as there are things we like to have, things we do not have enough and to get something we need to compete, power being one big thing to have excessively. The intoxicating effect of power even little of it is clear. One has to be wise to understand how to use correctly the power position one has. It takes a lot of energy to be constantly afraid and distrustful, be scared, in state of alert, suspicious in a world where nobody can be trusted and somebody else wants what you have got. To be in a state of constant scare and worry takes a toll on us which affects the ways we do politics, interact, know and treat people, isolate ourselves and others into camps and behind walls.

Which brings me to the topic of entertainment where power and money play an important role: how emotional gansta rappers are, what are the emotions there if there are any to admit to? To show emotions is a sign of weakness still? What are black entertainers passionate about? Police violence is bad, violence by black people is necessary and a reaction to police violence? Brutality, retaliation, racism, gun violence and making that money are in the lyrics and imagery of many. For some reason in those things lie the key to success, owning those issues. Do rappers solve anything bringing light to the condition of grassroot America or is it a loop of anger? What kind of messages and emotions do rappers pass on? Real niggers don’t die, Dr.Dre for example who is the man with a master plan, nigger with a gun, with women, money and attitude to kill. Appreciating his music, still, it is a frightening image of someone with a gun making music, an everyday image for very many who watch movies, music videos and pay attention. He raps about AK-­47 ready to pop. Dr.Dre with Snoop Dogg go and get their money flow with the recipe of being bad boys. Maybe it is irony, the topics of rappers or maybe it is realism/illusions/dreams made into art/reality as black people do end up killing each other in America and are often poor with no opportunity to rise above, more so when clashing with the police odds are weak. To get rich or die trying is a monotonous driving force escaping a dead-end where wealth is all that matters. Ways to get respect, make way ahead and get admiration are simplistic patterns from playground for kids. It is a political and humanistic wake ­up call for help. It is a daily routine to live with arms in a country where weapons secure freedom and safety and are easily accessible.  When society does not provide for you, then it is with guns and crime you get what you think you need.

There is serious demand for justice and solving social issues as crime, poverty, lack of education, healthcare, feelings of powerlessness, hate, misogyny, racism and all in all lack of future prospects in numerous countries not just in the US. Ways to get rich or die trying  is a heroic one man one force idea in a certain kind of world, just another phrase from a rapper who is a real man whose line became a true need, or need became a line. Crime and rap music mix reality wrapped in golden chains, guns and cars, chasing women like cattle and women seem to like it sucking that dick. Women placed in to the position of stuffed animals and objects with body parts and women also like to place themselves into that pornographic narrow inferior position continuously. Why? Are options so scarce, unattractive or the fast culture to consume all makes you feel like a winner? Is it the easiest option to make it with one’s body? What is the need and meaning there other than money and sex dictating what is what, who is who or anybody? Reality in full in this picture in the US and all around as the message spreads: this is how you become visible, powerful, admired and free. It is an image where people are gunned down like society was a war zone, that is how it looks like here and there and is also entertainment.

America is at war constantly in and outside with each other and the world. The world is at war since wars don’t end to declaration of peace, to halting the killing call. The scene of war changes. As it has turned out world is a lot more complicated than what is expected and out of control state can be released by attacking cultures and people you do not understand. Freedom can be chaotic and dangerous more than the blissful state of mind where everything good is possible in loving harmony. The bad is as well, very much so about freedom. Paradox of the extreme power and naivety is what strikes. Wars tend to continue in people’s minds as long as soldiers and their children live and history is there. Isn’t it quite the picture of the modern world and America, needs and hunger are immense for retaliation but also for reconstruction. Scared and more scared people exist all over. Russia is a perfect example how a regime intimidates its citizens from criticizing Putin and warring. Declarations in the news look as if something had been saved and solved and we can sigh of relief, but what are we really being told?

It is a daily repertoire, a way to rule and make justice of some kind legitimized with God-given right to arms, wealth and power. God is in the warring and traditional understanding of masculinity. Is God in education, healthcare, being kind and merciful to the poor? It used to be as the church provided for those things. It is a world of nations, rulers and slaves, rhetorics and desires make weird images. What the world of rulers want to do with the rest of us is to enslave, misguide and make us blindly follow. US and Russia are mass murderers, terrorist states carrying God’s weapons used with God’s permission protecting a way of life that needs constant protection because they are products of a dying age, tyranny and structure of policing, knowingly like bodily functions they are failing in an aging body, definitely knowingly, rationally and consciously not giving away an inch. There is a need to be good via being bad which is expression of freedom. There is no other alternative to make selfish good happen than the bad. It is good to be able to dictate the rules of how to be good, so they (Americans) don’t have to use force in a bad way because they are always good even when they are bad. Russians are just bad doing bad because God is on their side despite their communist past and they know what is good for everybody: strict order and rule. Democracy and freedom which Americans themselves have: what an illusion and a flat image. Anybody criticising is a hater.

Bearing it as a warning that there are enemies self-evidently, but who are the enemy and why? World is being warned and under threats of all kinds. The dichotomy of you are not on our side then you are against us is prevailing. Russia attacks mercilessly and violently against those who dare say a word against its policies. This is clear when debating issues like invading sovereign countries, refugees, trans and gay rights, feminism etc. Is it the way to live nowadays being defensive and simplistic in a chaotic world? We have been constructed from fear especially living next to Russia, and continuously remain so as disagreeing and opposing is very dangerous. Conservative forces are not just protecting the old traditional way of living, understanding that it needs to be protected with arms should be a wake up call. Honor and continuity of good old values, nothing must change in what we do and think is the mentality. Idea today is to change but don’t change anything.

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It is entertainment: pretend and fake.

”YOU CRAZY SON OF A BITCH! FUCKIN’ SON OF A BITCH, YOU! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!, CRAZY SON OF A BITCH, I’LL KILL YOU! … (BANG!) AHHH! AAAHHHH!… ” a line from TAXI DRIVER 1976 BY MARTIN SCORCESE QUOTED IN A SONG CALLED the BADGE 1994 from album Far beyond driven BY PANTERA.

It is one kind of revolution to personally try to achieve, make a difference on one’s own, have power over one’s own message, as that is the only option how power is had, it is taken and shared. Finding the power of one’s own that there lies within in the night, in the day, in solitude, with a gun and a car which represent freedom, are tools to grab and are there like everyday objects in the movie. Man in the film Taxi driver sees things are not right in his life and around, riding around the city is what makes him observe, the customers he meets and connects with he makes conclusions what people are and are doing, what side are they on, what kind of exploitation happens there and why, who exploits who. Something has to be done and he takes his gun, he is powerless otherwise but he sees some people are even more powerless. Deciding there are things that should be changed, knowing which are the things that are wrong, why they are wrong, know how they can be changed and acts upon them. To make a personal crusade, personal vendetta, a killing after many wrongs done by other people. Does his ‘victory’ happen as he thought, a retaliation, defending of what is good? Do things change for better or go on as before?

They tend to end up hurting more than doing any good to anybody, crusades, leading to destruction and chaos. Movie where hero thinks he is a hero by committing his power act, a journey with his car, accomplishing his task in the way he has chosen and seen best: to a pimp played by Harvey Keitel he says suck on this and shoots the pimp in the stomach on the street. What makes him think violence is the answer, a solution, there is always a new pimp, a new young girl to be saved from the streets. What makes a person want to own a gun in a city? Hostility is clear and everyone is on their toes, vulnerable, at risk of being attacked and violated. Is making things right his calling, is he under threat because he is good? There is constant wrong to be made right, abandonment and loss is frequent, abuse is a deep wound and the bone is showing. Gun is there to make a cleansing in constant dirt people wade. Bad shape of people and what do we make of that. For many it is a place to strike and exploit, make it even worse. We pass the hurt forward, let others feel what we are feeling. Inside people’s heads form noisy ache. It is strange how lost people are with their emotions, with their ache, with other people. What I make of this is we are dictated by our pain.

8.1 Fury and rage

Frantic is a good word to use in context of revolution. To believe in possibility of change to the extent of no alternatives than to find something other and revolution becomes a religion-like obsession, a career and a way out. Religion is an emotional institution, having faith in the unseen, in new future, brave new world is more powerful as it is owned and made visible. It is to breathe revolution also to understand power within. It is the intoxicating youthfulness and brave imagining of something new and innovative. Faith is there for hope taking the pain away as a possibility for good and something good is coming, must be. A raging emotional desire is to act on behalf of oneself and others, for the future and for better living. Faith sounding maybe a bit weird on any scene of revolution when despair is dense, faith in oneself and in one’s own doings. Revolution somehow is seen as anti­religious as religion has had power over people crushingly long period of time. In revolution people become the religion, not God though? Overturning oppressive power is a very religious movement having faith in one’s chosen leaders and doctrines, in institution of liberation and the monument to look upon, and it is

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important to know whom and what to worship in this process, what is the structure of revolution. To understand that naive worshipping is out-of-order altogether, to know how, why and whom to critique and what does freedom mean for freed people. Spontaneous expressions of anger can be explosive and the most honest responses to a never­ ending kind situation where reason seems to have gone missing. Nothing is changing or if there is a change it is for the worse. Anger, hate and rage show their faces and prove to be needed in a healing process and justified.

Emotions go up and down daily and we learn to control our emotions from early on. We are told what not to do in public, how not to act when angry or why be angry at all when being likeable is preferred almost violently. It is an essential part of growing up into civilized society, to become member of it, is to learn how to deal with emotions in a certain proper way. Unlearned channeled creative human forces make things happen in good and bad. When enraged hands begin to shake, to sit still is difficult, pulse takes a rapid speed up, blood pressure rises, body sweats and heavy breathing makes one feel like an animal on the run, things look confusing and being rational becomes more difficult, one becomes impulsive. What kind of part do hate and rage play in the games of finding place, making groups of people, molding our social structures and places of belonging and living and being who we are and how we are. Negative emotions make us build walls and gaps. Why are negative feelings the most powerful forces causing society to act, get alarmed, making people act against structures of society or themselves. Hurt motivates, piles up, triggers violence, blinds. Hurt and trauma cannot be avoided, they cannot be not talked about. We need hurt and trauma to learn to survive and learn again. Violence is a daily act, mental and physical, verbal and pictorial aggression. To be fragile in a hostile world means you are threatened all the time. What makes those emotions in us so powerful is the extent how much we are about chemistry. It is as if we are nothing but chemistry and nerves and we many times are unaware of this part in us we have little control over. Why is pain important in this picture again and again? Negative feelings are with us for a reason. They are not to be suppressed but faced, felt and learned from. Garbage piles up when not let out and dealt with. To deal with emotions means feelings have to be talked about either with the person who causes those emotions or with someone who can listen, interpret, understand and respond. It is a pattern that repeats, again, is misunderstood, we not knowing ourselves.

We feel and think about those inner turmoils which we all have and we connect with by talking about them, learn that other people have the similar. This is an important phase how we consider our feelings as collective and universal, not only on individual level: what do we think/make of them and of this realisation that other people are not objects? Appreciation for feelings is to study them. To measure the amount of feelings is difficult, comparing them as well, guessing what others are feeling or should be feeling is impossible to know and dictate exactly. Although in North Korea everybody feels the same when their leader passes away, collective weeping is compulsory. The amount of suppressed individuality and human experience there is, is unimaginable and to think how is it possible to be this scared and dehumanized.

Then we talk about our feelings to someone whom we can trust and who is interested in how one feels and thinks, it is a relief to be able to speak of emotions, of personal experience which is invisible, which is not a simple issue. Emotions and personal view on oneself begin to evolve, emotions have a heavy meaning. Human layers, experiences and thoughts make progress in that process of becoming being alive and becoming a human being: why I feel the way I do, what that other person is feeling and why is she/he doing what she/he is doing. Life is a constant process, us hopefully evolving and changing on emotional level, on idea level and in action. It is learning process about the idea of me, what is me. Learning about nature in us, chemistry working in us making us live  in a manner that can be tolerable or intolerable. What makes crying intolerable and a sign of weakness for example?

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What would you cry for? Sometimes we cry for nothing, sometimes for mental hurt, injustice, for beauty, sometimes just because we feel horribly sad over things we cannot do anything about, because of feeling helpless. Global hurt makes me weep, also the need people have to escape mental and physical pain, which both are necessary for our growth and progress. Pain has a purpose. How much pain is necessary then, can we take, does weeping help? To a point. It is to let out pain in shape of tears and making sounds of sorrow. But to cry and sob is something to do privately. To sob in my solitude and shine in public is a heroic strong way.

6.2 It’s a crazy world we live in.

To stand accused is what happens to us daily. We are blamed to have caused global warming, having fallen into apathy, joblessness, indifference and all is fault of our own. To lose taste of what you are eating, watching, drinking, touching, breathing and thinking is a symptom. Why think when someone does it for you? What does it matter what one thinks, what does one person matter? How do you know what to think exactly when everything is so complex? How to tell, articulate well what one is thinking when all is a mess and pointless. I must be able to present myself, present myself over and over and be present. When life is a mess and a blur, a depressed mode and illness, frustration, fog make one disabled, isolated unable to focus. Lose interest in doing anything, in voting, acting out, standing up, working out. And they ask why! Is society to prohibit personality, deny identity, forget where one comes from, to have contempt against origin, hide colour, hide in colour, hide in fashion, or just hide, because to be different can be a reason to become isolated and hated. What about gender and sex. Am I of gender, typical, agreeable enough, nice enough to be liked? Do I belong? And is there class to belong to which accepts me?

It is a kind of trial since I am put in one kind of box for what I am not, accused and tested. How can one not become disoriented? Explosions happen when there is too much injustice which cannot be escaped and cultural oppression, restrictions, absolute rules for which one has no control over, individual bans and guides on how to live, subordination. Whenever there is a change there is a reaction to the change. There is nothing but change but is it progress? Get used to it and don’t, change yourselves, your life because if you don’t you are fucked. You can still decide, you are free is a weird idea. You are the boss of your life. We sell, you buy your personality, individuality, your data. How is that freedom? You name it we have got it. Why live a lie? Throwing it in, sentences, ideas, thoughts, anything, towel, sweat, is there blood in you or are you a robot, is it personal to speak the truth? Absolutely.

Hegemony, creativity there, complexity of some kind, power in unity holding us together or become divided. We live to be together or apart, is there something in the middle, what is the middle? Indifference is to separate, have just as much part as is necessary. We live in concepts of post-modernism, ideals are concretely too far to grab, unreachable or just efforts to understand how mass of people function and form units, societies and structures supposedly together. Pattern is a good word here, a security pattern which constantly must be enforced and changed, life pattern, in search of safe havens, networks, nests, restricted areas, protection. How do we

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form ourselves with others in doing and making is something we should concern ourselves more. Do our collective movements and moments function well, does our collective mind have the mutual understanding of well, do we have empathy for others only in virtual reality? Does kindness make society work, is kindness our ruling force? It has to be. Emotions having leading part in sculpting society by the minute, by every person, by every act which is felt and pushed forward. Emotions having strong part when access is restricted, thinking is forbidden, which is all the time depending on current culture. We like to prize the idea of freedom, but we hold together in captivity, because we are afraid of losing the earned status and being abandoned. Holding oneself in one piece in this complex unity of pieces of many.

A culture of almost complete restriction of feelings sounds unrealistic. It is difficult to imagine us without emotions. They are on our faces, movements, clothes, shopping, behaviour, ways of walking. In there, in us, within whatever we do there are piles and forms of feelings, layers of them, like vegetation, but there is an illness like inability to give them to do good, of wanting to express them to that person near, how could it happen? A compassionate closeness can spook people away like touching. One must be careful. Don’t get too close, don’t hug a stranger, don’t stare too long. Yes, to be touched by a stranger in anywhere can be irritating. An unknown man comes and rubs your back in a bar while talking and staring at your breasts is more than unpleasant. I so felt it.

It is what we should be able to do if there is a normal thinking caring person in question, give emotions, share them and restrict ourselves from giving them in a hateful, diminishing way. So how to show interest and caring and how to be angry is a question of how to know our boundaries. Depends on what one is interested in and how one sees other people, what are they to you. Interest in a person is different from interest only in having sex with that person.

Sexism is always present. Some people notice it because they face sexism often. It is some kind of a norm and to a point accepted. Silence is accepting. When no one acts against sexist behavior nothing happens to the problem. For some people sexism is a way to show feelings. They probably don’t know any other way to show feelings they have. They are afraid or incapable to act in different way, it would require actually wanting to know the other person, admitting value of that other person. Is there change emerging what comes to sexism? Incapability of showing emotions especially negative ones in a right way make us ill in the end. I conclude negativity and conflict are important as well. Clever ways to emotions is understanding the reactions and what dictates us emotionally. Awkward emotionally empty environment of people struggling to survive with their lack and incapabilities leave people around

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struggling with incapability, loss and thinking it is my fault or there is something wrong with me. Why we place blame so eagerly? It sounds good for someone else to have the blame, no negativity there, no irony. Negativity and horrible sadness, comparison, competition, attack and defence. Hurt can be drunken down and laughed over, it does not go away. Alcohol makes it worse. It is about one not wanting to face one’s bullshit since everything is fine. Escapism nowadays is so easy.

Effective is an act which is about shame. Shaming is to show how putting someone down in humiliating fashion is amusing and fun for some. The talk people share behind each other’s backs and reasons for it, patterns in relations because of what has been said make deep gaps and cuts. To show contradictions and paradoxes in people’s actions and the hollow ground beneath all beautiful and well-meaning people is also effective. Hypocrisy seems to prevail too easily. What kind of emotional and intellectual order of desires is at hand? Delicious. Problems begin with something to gain and with the ways of wanting stardom and success badly are happening via hurt. Choosing one’s path is to know why one is doing what one is doing and to whom. Interesting is the extent of passion of doing when you begin and what happens to it, how it evolves, your passion. Can you hold on to the thrill and charm of naive enthusiasm?

All of us and what do we do under monitoring eyes, under suspicion. Do we ask why there is so much suspicion? Looking up to parents, teachers, journalists, leaders who talk to us and pass us by, controlled decisions, carefully chosen words and smiles, because all cannot be said out loud. Censorship which happens because we need to hide, we cannot stay bare, we cannot be honest because we may seem inadequate, but we cannot show weakness. What is declared in good stays that way? Maybe slowly changing to something else. Decisions must be made to move forward, decisions on how to live. Then it can be seen what a decision was or was not. To make humanity is to act upon and take risks. We are not us if we are not active and creative. It should be clear that to be born human one has rights as human should. We manifest humanity and we make it in error and in perfection. Criteria and important characteristics of activities, qualities and possibilities to evolve through making. Learning from doing, seeing, hearing, via mistakes, stories, teachings, burning a finger, telling that sexist to go fuck himself and get a good look in the mirror. Basic attributes to thrive is learning through curiosity, encouraged to be curious and bold. It can be interest in other people’s businesses, it can be innocent interest in the world, to the worlds outside and inside, interest that can be a selfless need to find out and understand how the world works. Through this finding out how we work and how I work, how are we part of and have come to be inventive complex humans. There is always something to say, when there is nothing there is inability to see what one can do

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with little one has for example how small is the insignificant and why it is insignificant? When we look at Physics such as the insignificant does not exist. How does my consciousness construct me and is it a self-driving force? What is my consciousness, my brain, my thoughts, my ideas, my nerves, what begins to puzzle me and why? What makes a self and how to know it? What is mine, what is common and how do they mix and get to create new?

Abolishing blind spots, those which are there but we do not register, which is the place in the eye one cannot see with. How do you abolish something you cannot see? How do you wipe it away which is the invisible? When it could be your whole world, or half of it or the most important thing you fail to see and acknowledge? Abolishing skin, sex, gender, age, appearance, what things there are to demolish and why? Things unwanted to be demolished and how? How do you become to value something? How do you find value of your own? Abolishing the multitude of races means there is only one human race with numerous ethnical backgrounds and with billions of differences. Human being is made of differences and mutation. So, what there is to abolish is the very issue, walls inside your mind.

6.3 Headache.

Denying and hiding won’t make what we feel go away. Appreciation of life consists of constant learning, change, dealing with emotions. It is the truth, appreciation and life, wisdom of life often made flat. To trivialize wisdom has its reasons, business leaders have made themselves into gurus. But we have different views on what is wise.

To turn down aims for equal opportunity is to keep up dude philosophy or dude­ principles, tough guy ideology, where women have to be dudes, culture women should live by is to behave masculine which equals strong. Women are being nostrified as women, meaning adopted perfectly as objects and tools where feminism is a shield on surface, a rash like #metoo. Harshness as shield and open rejection towards empathy and what is the feminine, hostility towards femininity is obvious. To be a man is a guide for everyone. Don’t cry in a bus, don’t carry you emotional gun, everyone can see your twisted red face. Kindness is girls’ stuff and boys don’t cry. It is good to survive on your own, call it making it, minding your own business, supporting oneself, standing like a soldier. Better if nobody cries, so we don’t have to go through difficult negative emotions, fall apart in front of someone. We don’t have to face difficult issues mostly concerning human relations and misery which equal mess, pathetic wrong doings and chaos, shame, ever continuing

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emotional and physical unbearable chaos. What is sickness in this picture? What is a sick society, a society made by sick people?

Process of trying to change the unchangeable, an entity unwilling to change is a violent situation. Perfection thinks there is nothing to change in it, in me. For those in the middle it is a perfect place, for them there is nothing to be changed. Measures and means to put down those who dare vary from humiliation to silence. It is a pattern of those who have something to gain in a system they are in and it is serving them. Closed systems are very sensitive and touchy. They get contaminated with aggression and protectionism. Taking care of the image and walls around is more important than what is actually being said and done morally. It is like floating on waves of acceptance of friends that share your world and views in thinking what is the ultimate right and wrong. It is a strange way of living which to my understanding secures comfortable pleasurable tower for the few with means.

In this kind of small talk anything that is somehow out of the ordinary is a bullet, uncomfortable. In this kind of world making a controversy is fairly easy, but how to make it last as scandals last for a week? The disastrous effect of shredding something comfortable to pieces, pushing buttons, the right and wrong ones, fears of people in such a world and what is expected of people entering that world is healthy to test.

Is it too obvious what is the mainstream? It is popular, popularity, liked, listened, watched, enjoyed, consumed, used, available, everywhere, inescapable, in your face. Is the marginal opposite to most of that or all of that, and what kind of people follow the likeable mainstream? What kind of talk is made of it, inspirational perhaps. Labelling, putting people into groups and against each other, it has a role. In entertainment such controversy sells. Distinct part in illusion of individualizing us, to be one but not, identities of ours fight against collectiveness and not, we wanting to be part of the fun active buzz as strong individuals as parts of community, but in the shadows? Quite a contradiction, to be one but a mass. Are categories of taste so obvious that they exist no matter what? They exist because people like different things, or do we categorize to understand, taste, to make the distinction more obvious, to tell what we are and what we are not, gaps and barriers to block unwanted out, what do these strategies open? Borders are there between professions, origins, classes, genders, generations, nationalities, clothes. There is nothing but definitions and groups of people, lines in between them in order

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to be safe, accepted and be part of to have an identity, avoiding loneliness and boredom. You have to belong. We are herds of people suspicious of each other, sniffing the air and feeling the atmosphere where to go from here to make it. What is going to happen in the cynical world? How much does class dictate taste and thinking? How much does it rule what people find interesting and why and what people begin to do in their lives? It takes determination like no other. Yes, there are walls to go through. Generations pouring prejudices and beliefs onto the next ones, to their kids, but of course they do. Working class and low self-esteem are familiarly close and alive together, feeding tradition and roles of people. Everyone does what they think is the right thing to do, right? How do people at the lower end find the right thing/things to do and say and why stick to that negative idea of class? How do people become to think like they do? Where is the change in this loop?

6.4 Change is the only absolute.

Is there new, new in what way or change for that matter? Power of a protest singer, rapper when he/she is telling a story from real life. Misery and injustice told in forms of tales for listener to either sympathize, know that they are not alone. It is a long tradition of passing information on of what happens in the world. Folksingers, troubadours tell stories and entertain, what happens when political message enters that stage? How political can a singer get? Living the internet time messages spread fast and net is full of phenomena of entertainment, people who seek fame. Same channel work well in spreading political points of views and music still works wonders when a good beat, interesting lyrics and stories make a match. Could it be that political music as idea everything is political makes the best effects what comes to making social change, reaching and waking people? I do not think it is just idealism, it is power. Music is for all to listen and make. It takes an idealist to make politics, to begin with politics, still you don’t have to be politician to do politics. Every personal act becomes to have an impact on the environment and people in it. To act requires decision-making, making a choice, witnessing, telling, understanding, being open. It requires an idea, plan, means to do it, will to do it, imagining, looking ahead, conversation, debating, asking, questioning, evaluating, belief and feeling. Politics is people deciding, compromising, dealing with the common and mutual issues that concern everyday life of every person. Politicians make the laws which citizens obey. Citizens choose politicians by voting. These simple sounding tasks and basic functions of a state are results of battles and

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numerous wars.

Democracy and respect for human rights still is not self-evident and in some countries change for better is tiresomely slow, agonizingly and horribly. Therefore, it is important to understand the meaning, purpose and significance of politics and one’s own actions. Now situation is rather worrying on many levels. It seems to be a fact that power corrupts and for some people politics is a competitive game, feather in a hat. For one politicians are players or seen as players who make tactical politics to benefit causes of their own. Lack of trust is a major problem. Hasn’t it always been so power over people is always violently used. Politics should be to correct unsatisfying situation, given promises, knowing your place, knowing your rights, demanding your rights, fighting for them. There is something to gain and something to lose. What are the things worth gaining? This is one issue to the point when looking at respecting and how respect is gained, certain kind of respect which serves many. You can get respect by scaring people. That is an old-fashioned model of gaining admiration by violence, scaring and diminishing and silencing the other. It has got to do with physical power and size more than anything else. It could be called education if there was a lesson.[1.][2.]

Emotional reactions can be surprising. If they don’t hit us, surprise and put us out of balance what else is there. What is it we need our emotions for if we become machines? They are to guide us. It is a task for emotions to shake us. How do we know to which things we can laugh at and to which not or why laugh at all? How do we get to be compassionate? Ultimate question is, how are we doing?

Emotional is the female, emotional is forbidden, there is no honor in emotion, it is a burst beneath until you cannot hide anymore, emotions can turn against you. Whom are you against? Is someone faceless inside you? Narcissism, egotism, self-loath, self-destruction, fetishism, masochism, pleasing until you cannot anymore hide and take it until you cannot stand it anymore. It is interesting how revolutions start, how they are followed all over the world. They bring empathy for the oppressed. How will it end up and when will it end and does the revolutionist movement trigger a snowball like movement around, a cumulative effect of one nation rising up.

To set oneself on fire says revolution is about death. About dying for a cause. Revolution is about sacrifice. Of having been afraid so long one begins to be fearless. Death is whether there is a revolution or not, so the choice is clear.

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If I die it’s for my country, for a good cause? A revolution can be that immense a thing, definite, fanatic and determined. It can be worth more to you than your life. As in his article Evert Cilliers aka Adam Ash writes about the situation in Egypt in 2011 which has been boiling for years. Oppression, hatred, torture, unemployment, poverty, corruption, military having much to say in politics of the country. It is again a long list of utter horridness brought onto the ordinary people and they not tolerating it anymore. Mubarak stealing wealth of the state, billions of money, which should have been used for the welfare of the people. Army buying artillery with billions from the US. It is angering even for me even as I am following what happens from far away. The injustice done daily year after year and reported in the news year after year is incredibly frustrating to witness. Millions of people see this crookedness of politicians and businessmen without able to do much about it. I am outraged, I pour it on social media, on my website, in my art, in this thesis. Moral outrage, discussion and following of what happens in the world. It is the least I can do to write about it.

To understand morals of people and why they act the way they do means finding evil motives and roots which seem inescapable. Motives behind one person and behind millions can they be the same? Can revolution unite millions of people to have the same motive: to make society better? Could millions of people be together compassionate and selfless to the extent of giving that much of themselves to make such worldwide revolution happen, a conscious revolution of kindness? When it seems impossible for reasonable people anywhere for whom facts are clear of how to make a nation and its people prosperous? It is almost impossible to have a country which would be dedicated in serving its people and their welfare. To have a country which would dedicate its existence in removing poverty, be dedicated to educate people and make peace. [3.][4.]

According to study by Jonathan Mercer of University of Washington concepts nationalism, trust, justice and credibility when stripped out of emotion appear unrecognizable. This is very clear. Concepts such as trust and justice work in building nations self-evidently and become parts of our identities more or less for us to form groups of power and trust. To have trust is to build a nation and make justice. Politics is where people should be trusted, but over and over this trust is failing. In keeping nations together there is a certain amount of pride, patriotism, nationalism, love for the country and its people. Mere emotion and illusion. Nationalism nor patriotism do not tend to show as the

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most rational of tactics and ideologies. They follow feeling. We are like this and we like us as we are, we follow the collective emotion and believe in it which appears strongly in sports. We want to protect ourselves to stay as we are. We can continue being afraid of change, immigrants, strangers, oddities, settling for traditions and wanting to stick with people of our kind. Reason does not have much to do with all this. Most sensible thing for people to do in order to evolve is to expose oneself to new things, new ideas, all kinds of people and situations. Surprise is of course how people who think are very clever can be so narrow­minded and biased. This happens in universities as in working class circles. Isolation and separation is not out-of-order. It is a norm.

How to appeal to emotions of the public is to talk about welfare of children, elderly, sons and daughters who work and suffer to make a living. We must fight for them, for all of us, for better world. We hear this. Everyone is important. How much such talk appeals I’m not quite sure but somehow jargon is obvious. There has to be something personally experienced, personally felt to connect with. Revolution rises from the very negative to find the positive in people as a group, a union. Revolutions are mass events which usually need and require leading. Mastering masses is tricky, masses are emotionally uncontrollable.

1.https://www.opendemocracy.net/openglobalrights/jean-h-quataert/making-womens-rights-human-rights by JEAN H. QUATAERT 31.10.2013
How women’s rights became part of the international human rights movement 2.http://sur.conectas.org/en/can-economic-growth-translate-access-rights/ 31.10.2013 Challenges faced by Institutions in South Africa in Ensuring that Growth Leads to Better Living Standards, questions on how financial growth benefits all and does it by SERGES ALAIN DJOYOU KAMGA and SIYAMBONGA HELEBA 3.https://www.3quarksdaily.com/3quarksdaily/2011/02/the-six-emotions-of-revolution-what-egyptians-are-feeling-now.html 31.10.2013 by Evert Cilliers aka Adam Ash The six emotions of revolution; what Egyptians are feeling right now (2011) 4.https://unu.edu/publications/articles/the-role-of-emotions-in-politics.html 31.10.2013 (published 2011•04•12 ) written by Ainius Lašas to United Nations University, Bringing emotions into understanding revolutions.

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Importance of having free art colleges is the vital question at the moment, that making art will not become a class issue more than it already is.

What Makes an Artist? – Grayson Perry and Sarah Thornton | Tate Talks

It is the very basic battle, a kind of violent arguing and taking sides of how to know what is art and decide about it strictly, or could it just be as simple as you like it as art, enjoy it as art. The same struggle goes on with who is an artist and can be an artist. Is it money that makes the professional, is it quality, network, school and family? To know is to know professional quality and understand the standing of the artist, how complex it all is. One definition does not apply for all. Measuring happens very often by evaluating skill, the artistry itself is the measure of how good an artist one is, how much effort and sweat art has taken to make. This idea is prized widely, what does skill tell us. We want to be blown away by craftsmanship, price and size, effort and extraordinary rare talent. Idea of normal physical labor and validation of certain results can take too much hold. To ask to copy reality as it is seen is a normal question and can you do it. Something equals good. People measure art and the artist via how much what is being made is exactly a replica of what we see and know. For many that is valuable as art, familiarity, knowing, recognizing, seeing, understanding and that it is also difficult. Artistry is also on which pedestal the person is and is a matter of climbing there, visibility, media coverage, being noticed, written about and acknowledged by those who know. Is this a spot for manipulation? Fine art is a highly specific specified field where expertise is required and those who think they don’t know enough are scared they make fools of themselves, which scare exists there among all. Maybe that is why scene is so stiff, very difficult to approach, reluctant to change eventhough it is talking about it and difficult to get in to as it is made of people who measure art and people. Interestingly positions of power are held on to a long time which does not help, conventions and hierarchies rule. Position gained is not given away that easily. Position of power in art is an interesting topic for the reason that the field is so specific, isolated and demands a lot of knowledge to know and be an expert of. Those who have power are trusted and valued. How power is used then? It does not look all that good in terms of making speedy progress.

There are those who decide for borders, walls, expectations to be filled and labels to be put on a person, reputations and careers to be had and probably the crowd is too small and tight. Celebration and party is a closed area. Artist is a kind of grand title and an honorary one as such, although honor is a strange concept in this regard, in terms of art. Is it honourable to be an artist and what does it mean? To practise what you preach? Make wonderful objects, eye candy for buyers? Double standards and looking good are a matter of keeping the impeccable image and what is art for other than image/habitus purposes, usually it is an accepted thought art is good for our spirit and health in general. When we look good we are happy and content? The grandiose and size enclosed there is part of the myth of an artist which oftentimes and more and more is a burden for art, artists, for the whole system and that it is male. To be an artist is a loaded profession, a fairytale and a fable, which one must over and over again debunk, break and disturb. Packed with stereotypes and clichés that circle in people’s minds, artist is sacred idolized archetype, this used up poster has troubled me and caused frustration, when does it ever change. How does an artist look like, how is artist portrayed, where art is when it is art, how approachable it all is and what is fear of art, how weird the artist is, how sick. Problems there are ideological and stuck always involving status, gender, class, money, quality of art, form of art, origin, places of show, networking, ways of interacting and talking etc. It is a whole bunch issues and beliefs that are and will be problematic, hard to overcome, accept or understand why they hold on so tightly. What is the turning point? One definitely is that art schooling remains available for those who do not come from money and that it is not a shameful thing to be working class.

 

 

Hypocrisy is to hide. How interesting pretence is can be argued and must be.

Hide your true self, hide your intentions, hide what it actually is you’re doing and to prevent from changing, changing yourself and how things are done. It takes something which most are not ready to go and do. The thought of losing and loss is too great, so to talk about social change is much more safe. I use the word scene instead of using the concept of art world. Art world to me resonates only size and the business which circulates wealth or doesn’t. What gets shared is interesting to think about. To define art world is like defining a construct that is eating its own tail which does not want to interact in any other way than what is possible for that beast as it is unable to think in any other way. To revolve unchanged talking about social change in fancy spaces how ‘high art’ is going to take part in social action which is making change which very though is somewhat odd.

It could be heartwarming if arts was in any way doing what it says, being transparent, reliable, other than massive tool for propaganda, producing toys, extravaganza, making impressions to fool and for fools. Yes I would like to believe those with money and power, I really would and please come and ask for taxpayers money to make social change. Why I don’t see the effect needed because corruption and false talk has made it clear that to make social change there must be a total turnover in values, in ways of doing, the concept of fine art is not to change anything but stay the same. To make art temples and sites for tourists is not in any way making social change. It is doing the opposite. Sure tourism brings in the money. To think money changes everything is thinking wrong in the first place. Contempt is so obvious and present I don’t know what other social change would mean than on very personal level to examine one’s behaviour, falsehood, hypocrisy, why one does what one does: what are the true motives of making and doing anything. To take offence is so normal.

One problem is the need for money, the flaunting of money, the show off of money, talk about money, that money brings value and only money. It is very destructive what comes to the environment the spectacle and valuing of the material. Art institutions like to say they work to change things. It is bizarre as very little has changed what comes to art business, position of the artist, where art is shown and what makes value in art which is the institutional presence and expertise, professionalism which also follows money. It is where artist must be shown if a traditional artistic career is what we must pursue.

https://hyperallergic.com/369762/a-syllabus-for-making-work-about-race-as-a-white-artist-in-america/

https://www.guernicamag.com/siri-hustvedt-both-sides-of-the-chasm/?platform=hootsuite

https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2017/04/is-the-push-for-women-in-stem-hurting-female-artists/522915/?utm_source=atltw

Kulturkampf Of The Left? Extremes, Be Gone!

https://www.socialeurope.eu/2017/03/kulturkampf-left-extremes-gone/

VOICE

The Urgency of Art in a Dangerous, Rapidly Changing World

With the first Culture Summit in Abu Dhabi, Foreign Policy seeks to highlight the power of collective imagination as a force for good.

http://foreignpolicy.com/2017/04/10/the-urgency-of-art-in-a-dangerous-rapidly-changing-world-united-arab-emirates-culture-summit/

 

To test limits happens quite easily: limits are somewhat odd.

Testing begins when we get naked. Nudity is very badly tolerated even though art is filled with nudes, especially women. They usually are reclining nudes or bare-breasted embarrassingly trying to hide their bosom. For me I am naked even though I am fully clothed, this is the gaze and comments I get. Banning nudity online does not make it better, it makes it worse. People who have never seen a naked body seem to be on the edge and falling over, surely Finland has more open culture what comes to nudity, many people are just ashamed and scared: what happens to fragile minds in this world, to those who see naked breasts happens something out of the order, which is intolerable and wrong. To explain why and how I am porn is that I am measured and seen as a porn object always, that is the default setting and why I am for, have always been which I have to constantly fight and it is tiring. To be an underwear model would be an ideal profession for me surely. To lose 5 to ten Kilos would go perfectly with that, wouldn’t it. Taking off clothes does not make the situation much different, only that I can examine what happens and write my reply, contradict in concrete perception on female body which is shamed and too much to take because it is out of the ordinary somehow, I don’t know how that is possible.

Naked female body equals the world going out of its joints, hell breaking loose or falling down as people are dictated by their urges which tells that we are in large sense animals and respect animal urges as frightening posing a threat to humanity. Humans must be fully clothed even in art. How do we explore our body and sex obsessed culture if naked body can’t be put under microscope in public? How do we make an impact which truly changes something in our obsession, fear and loop of old ideas that do not work well in today’s world? How do we show what our culture is all about: women are not allowed to rule their bodies, women do not have right to reflect and see what happens when nudity is and female body is put in centre of the attention? Will you say how sorry you are that women are born porn stars, at least I am, was? It is not enough to say you are sorry, nothing changes. Women must be allowed to set their boundaries themselves. How do we make progress seems very hard and slow when rights of women are in the dirt. This is much about self-governance of one’s body and life.

Vastaukseni Youtubelle joka kieltää alastomat rinnat videoissa ja jäädyttää koko tilin jos osassa videoista on alastomuutta jossa näkyy rinnat:

Videoni ovat taidevideoita ja niillä käsitellään naisen kehoa ja siihen liittyvää ongelmallisuutta, jota tämä kielto on osa eli naisen alaston vartalo on pornograafinen sellaisenaan ja kielletty epäasiallisena, tyyliin imettäminen on julkisessa tilassa heikkohermoisille haitallista. Taiteessa alaston vartalo etenkin naisen vartalo on iso osa koko taidehistoriaa, joten on varsin kummallista, että vielä nykyään koetaan tarpeelliseksi verhota ja piilottaa täysin luonnollinen asia ja vielä naisen itsensä käsittelemänä, miehet ovat yleensä katsojan ja tekijän asemassa. Videoillani ei edes ole seksiä ja tarkoitukseni on juuri viitata taidehistoriaan ja miksi maalaus on eri asia kuin oikea olemassaoleva vartalo. Piirustuksissani kylläkin on varsinaista pornoa, mutta niitä en esitä Youtubessa. Tarkoitukseni on myös tuoda esille tekopyhä kulttuuri joka on hyvin seksi ja vartalokeskeinen ja vihaa naisia. Trollit ja Youtube että Google sen todella tekevät näkyväksi: naisvihan ja tekopyhyyden.

My answer to YouTube for freezing my account for showing breasts in couple of my videos: My videos are art videos and I examine female body and problematical involved what comes to women and their bodies. This ban tells that female body is pornographic as such and forbidden to see in everyday context, for example breast-feeding in public space is for many too much to take. Banning nudity in art is one reason why people have hard time understanding and tolerating nudity as normal. People have hard time with human body even though it is completely natural and should be viewed as such, not something to hide and be ashamed of. Men have been those who look, gaze, comment and view naked women sexually. In my videos there is not sex, there are breasts of mine which obviously are pornographic per se.

My meaning is to have a conversation with art history which is filled with female nudes and what these nudes have been there for on display, what is the sacred and what is abomination, unholy, why painting is different from actual real life image and why nudity is immediately about sex? My drawings and paintings do have sex in them but they too are not for gazing purposes. I examine pornography and culture which is soaked in porn on many levels, so much so it has become normal to pose like a porn star and ask for porn-like sex from a stranger online. My meaning is to question body and sex obsessed culture which still can’t look at female body without it being a disgrace, the body and the woman. It is exactly her which ought to be ashamed not men. It is hypocrisy and misogyny. This culture is kept up by trolls, YouTube and Google especially. It is ok to hurt, stalk and violate privacy but to look at nudity in art is too much to take.

selfie of going to sleep

Betrayal is the ultimate lesson which many never learn: It is to know that you will lose in the end.

To have power over many means is to be corrupted by power? How immediate the corruption is, how in-depth and thorough depending on why you seek power and what you want it for. You get or are given power for various ways and reasons and you think it is something to own and call yours only, something you deserve for what you are and what you represent. Power is liberty to do what you will and responsibility not to, it is to pleasure yourself, indulge, bath in and feel grand. To do exactly as you please in position of power is something many think they can, it is when you do not understand what power means and is for and that everybody has power.

What kind of power is used within and with art, to what kind of people power is given is interesting as it is clearly misused and abused for personal interests and gain, used to glorify and make grandiose, to talk about progress without making any. To whom power is given is the issue of those who grant power. It is thought power is for those who are the most capable, trustworthy and fair people. We assume people who have power deserve it and know what to do with it. To take power away from those who disturb this balance is part of the power game that is played within art. Art is a business and how things look is the most important thing. It makes hypocrisy one big phantom that cannot be faced nor admitted to existing. When there is a lot to lose financially and in status all the fine arguments, ideas and talk play the charade and as acts to glorify something that is not that at all, something good and worthwhile.

Hypocrisy is a safety net, a mask to look better than you actually are. It is denial of facts, to do otherwise than you tell to do, should be done, would be good to do. It is more of a normality than obscurity to act hypocritically. It is telling there is much fear of letting you be yourself, to admit your true opinions, your true face, to disagree. Fear of loss is great.

Prejudices stick hard, almost unbelievably tough. To know personally gay people, mentally ill, poor, rich, people of different ethnic backgrounds, different classes, people who think differently, look different, act different etc. is essential in making world more tolerant, therefore ghettos, isolation, divisions keep prejudices alive. For not people to marginalize in an unsatisfactory way left in loneliness they have to do something about prejudices themselves. It is scary to meet people who hate you because you are gay, as it is scary if they hate you being a woman. How would that kind of meeting happen and what would happen? A hate crime or public hugging? Prejudices function strangely in an imagined fantasy world, simplistically focusing on weakness. Working on comparison between those who think are strong to evaluate those who seem weak. Weakness is intolerable still, weaknesses seem easy to spot and strengths are there to be grasped if you are willing to join group of strong and able to, having those abilities required. Groups of those who think are mighty and strengthen their existence as a community. Comparison and division, separation, isolation, it is a familiar behavioral pattern. It is a lonely spot to think differently, but what can you do but be honest with yourself. How honest must one be and how dear a feature honesty is altogether?

Normal and abnormal having a battle in our everyday in us. We go through thinking is that what we do normal and acceptable and try to find ways to preferably stay in that frame of normal and acceptable. In this picture art is very much welcomed as mixing the pack and moving barriers of thinking patterns and ways of seeing. Therefore artists are also seen as dangerous hazardous and suspicious people. They like to think themselves and do as they please, at least some of them since art scene is also regulated and appropriated by rules of proper. Insanity is much of a taboo, but fully with us since we daily face it, like it or not, acknowledge it or not. We define insanity ourselves, what is mad for us, what is a crazy thing to do equals to something you would not do and you disapprove. Or it is hip and outrageous behavior. Go figure. Insanity entails danger in any social scene, art is no exception. Danger of losing face, danger in irrationality and unexpectedness. Art is not free of prejudices, unfortunately. As it seems prejudices go stronger the smaller and isolated the group is. Contemporary art scene has isolated itself very effectively. To say artists are like that has been common enough for me to hear in the arts and outside of it. One problematic issue being ideas of inside and outside of it. What are they like exactly? There is a stereotype of an artist which creates partly the whole scene of arts. If art is strongly divided into an outer part of society what is it for, who does it serve? Prejudices and fascist ideas do not fit my idea of spirit of art nor spirit of equal mankind.

How could art be fascist!?OMG