Sense of self/ Climax cave

pencil on paper, 2005

Climax cave
uhh baby, yes harder, (is this a woman?).Give it to me baby, nice and slow. (is this a woman too?). Yes harder, but be nice and slow. That requires talent to do hard and be nice simultaneously. Niceness is, of course, the outcome of sex, self-evidently pleasurable. To be hard and nice is a lovely contradiction and combination what comes to having sex. It is like bringing up children, be firm but loving. Know what you are doing and what is wanted of you. Funny is how these pornographic clichés work. They must work because they are used quite much. Horny is a state of mind of the contemporary world. Level of arousal and intoxication of upcoming orgasm is a state of overwhelming simplicity of sudden feel good.

Niceness and slowness, coming. What a disgusting image of drooling. A self-centered pleasure hunt. Where there is a cunt. Give it to me. What do I get in return? Is it a give and take? Sexist power play where there is something for oneself only. Good time for me, only, but you must get something out of it too. Yea, sure I want exactly the same thing as you, and I want to give everything to you, because we are the same mind, we want the same pleasure. In mutual understanding, I provide your ecstasy.

Tutkielmia perhosesta, yökkösestä, sudenkorennosta, kimalaisesta ja muista hyönteisistä, guassi, värikynä ja vesiväri paperille, 2008. Perhosen muoto, löytyneet osat, löytyminen kuolleena, siipien pigmentti joka tarttuu sormiin.

guassi ja värikynä paperille, 2008
guassi paperille, 2008
vesiväri paperille, 2008

Studies on butterfly, noctuid, dragonfly, bumble bee and other insects found dead and their parts on paper with gouache, watercolour and colouring pen. Pigment on the wings that gets stuck on one’s fingers.

INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP: TRYING TO HAVE SOME FUCKING FUN. Maalasin perhosia 2008, kuulemma tylsä aihe. Mother of madness, How many bin ladens.

Kaaliperhonen, Maalasin kuolleita perhosia 2008, guassi paperille/Large white, painted dead butterflies 2008, gouache on paper 55*45cm

How many bin Ladens do you make when you kill bin Laden? (making that money.) We don’t like those stupid and crazy. We know what is stupid and what is crazy. To eliminate those among us to hold community clean, free, happy, intact and more importantly hygienic and safe. You understand, yes. It is our right as people of God. Chosen ones, choose the ones.
Mother of Madness
Mother of Comfort
Mother of Thieves
Mother of Tears
Mother of Psychosis
Mother of Mercy
Mother of Bread
Mother of Night
Mother of the Lost
Mother of Anti-Social Tendency
Mothers of The Disappeared
Mothers of The Executed
Mothers of Tigers
Mothers of The Lonely
Mothers of Terrorists
Mothers of The Dissidents
Mothers of The Freedom Fighters
Mothers of Strangers
Mother of Suspicion
Mothers of Comfort

Blind boys running downhill. I really have witnessed it happening. Oh, I have seen the Japanese garden. Fill in the blank, but I don’t think you’ll get the job, Motherfucker.

Elbows wrists, elbows wrists, a pornographic magazine under the loo carpet. Sudden movements and sighs.

Who is that flying through the air? Cover yourself itzy bitzy spider. Limbs breaking the brisk air.Terrible kleptomaniac spent warmly days in the sun of love. (Don’t ask for permission just do it.)Call me anything you like, Unemployed Hashtag, Ach Scheissenheit! I’m a real hipster, which definition was quite a surprise to me. Definitely, and it is forever, class and grace of knowing what to wear.

Tyttö ja puhelin, Always warms my haarat. Hajurako outouteen. Colloquial gap between people, but so much sharing.

Always Ultra Mega Fuck

Accepting human bodily functions which are seen as humorous, act of carelessness when untended, indifference to others, decay, letting yourself go, getting old, noises body makes, smells, remind of diseases and death. The uncontrollable stinks, body and all human weirdness especially for women, all that which makes us ashamed, we all share. It is disgusting and we unworthy in front of the magnitude of shit. We cannot defecate in the presence of anyone or look at the result, we feel ashamed. Hygiene tell of position in society, of culture, of fears and aspirations, how one wants to be seen, what one appreciates or what we think about judgement, because we are judged all the time and we produce shit daily, I hope. For women it is even more difficult as we must hide all that and act as nothing ever happens there and it is of course a good thing mostly, to have good manners, the more as we change bodies more artificial than ever, the topic of what is human appears important to think and do we accept human with all that comes with our bodies? Clearly not. It is a thing we can’t discuss openly, it is seen vile and very personal, still we bleach assholes. Intimate details cannot be heard but still we confess online, how fragile and sexual we are. The something in us that makes us feel dirty and of course it is dirty what comes out of us and filthy is what we become pretty quickly, if we don’t constantly take care of the odourless state we must be and maintain, somehow those who question this unquestionable get a lot of critique. We don’t want to smell anybody else’s shit, sweat, unwashed state and know why that is etc. To laugh is ok. I laughed farting to a phone, since for instance forgetting to put on deodorant makes it quickly in few hours the certain body smells and others will notice your stench. It doesn’t much matter if you took shower the same morning, so out of control body happens fast and shame follows or shaming. Out of control means you don’t care or you don’t notice yourself?

I do understand for women it is a topic of the unspoken and unheard body and what we really are, we detect and understand via smells. To say, you smell good somehow reminds me of what if I didn’t? It is a question of liking, being attracted to and our noses still function as recognising the partner, friend or who can be trusted. The question of what if I didn’t, asks do you still accept me even though I sometimes smell and like not to groom myself all the time? How much grooming a woman needs is a lot, which is also an environmental issue as a status issue (plastics in cosmetics is a massive problem) and how much control and effort does it take to appeal to tastes of others and what does this acceptance do? How do tastes of others effect our lives and must they? It can be a rebellion against neuroticism, femininity, dictating and tastes of today’s demands, grouping and more punk rock and primitive than many can tolerate. It makes people angry ,those feminists again.. nevertheless, to pay attention to how we monitor bodies of others is very acute and impacting everything. When colours of the build environment are white, gray and black, maybe stopping to think about what it means is a proper thing to do. Hygiene is a good thing, but there is a limit to it, when it is illness, it’s taking over everything. I do love soap and it is one of the best inventions. Smelling of soap makes me feel clean and refreshed and I am addicted to feeling that everyday. Getting rid of body smells takes a lot of work daily. Do we even think about it, it is so self-evident and if we could not practice our daily contemporary operations of cleanliness and beauty, would we go crazy and feel inadequate? Primitive and naive state can be liberating for a short while. It is also a question of the northern hygiene culture and sweating for example is very different in warm climates as are the smells and hygiene culture all together so very different.