Kuukausi: lokakuu 2014

Experiment number 3

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Tired of confronting thrown dirty cloths of yours. I am tired of cleaning man-made deserts. I need you to have to face and own completely, entirely what you make.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Sky of sky, sky of flight, sky of space, pressure and cold, sky without breath, sky of layers that we invade, our particles of What is that?
I want to say emptiness, but it is anything but, there are full clouds until they collide, the contradictions entwined in black night coming down
blackest and lilac space part of it open. That I am thankful for this lack of artificial light.
Circling sensations of being small, insignificant, breathing when I would like to hold my breath, tired of this work, not seeing anything but that above
anything worth seeing, anything worth sensing

Golden Puffs, golden handshakes and groups of people that protect their members as the group is seen as exceptional and cannot be criticized nor that it could be entered.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

That there are people who violently protect interests of theirs, power of theirs and image of theirs. To keep a state of things unchanged and yet try to change the world is a bizarre way to bang one’s head to a wall, liking blindness, contradictions ignored and denying hypocrisy of it all. To make it into a group that has power and gain a position within that group, have respect and admiration is the name of the game. If someone wants to rock that boat, that someone is belittled, isolated, mentally mugged, robbed and spat at.

There are many groups that have dynamics like this, that work and exist because of special gifts, because of special talents. They think of themselves that they are more exceptional and hugely talented as their talent is acknowledged within and by experts. Sales and wages telling how talented they are. They choose people from their group, their tribe to fill positions in order to make an atmosphere of nothing actually changes. They don’t like people who contradict them, people who do things differently and who like to change these corrupted ways that impact the whole society. They get easily provoked, because they are definitely certain of their exceptional and rare quality. They are afraid to lose position of theirs. Which fear makes one a predator. Someone who has something to lose.

Bullying society favors groups like this as it is itself an exclusive group. Isolation is an important tool in making inequality and special groups of buddies to prevail. What kind of social change happens in this kind of world is exactly what we see today. Kind speeches are not going to change that.

Iamthinkingofyou

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Get well soon.

Unlucky mentally ill birthplace

| Henna Timanttimetsä

It is about the shame of it. Shame of what you stand for and what you are. Denying, blame, abandonment, stupidity, chauvinism, brutal arrogance, violence, diminishing to nonexistence, hate and placing oneself above because one can. People who are afraid to face their minds, their deeds and the fact of being wrong, doing wrong repeatedly and finding justification for things done like nothing else could be done. There is nothing more sorry and pathetic than that. Inability to face the shit you have committed, crime you have done willingly like murder.

People who are afraid of their own illness and oh boy they are soaked with sickness. Why don’t you pour alcohol down your throat, because this is all about you. Drinking makes you the man, the strong, the accepted in a herd of fucking idiots. Laughing at those sad depressed who cry make you feel contempt for them, those others. Those other people who actually seek help are the brave and clever ones. They need every bit of encouragement they can get. To heal one’s mind is hard work and some people are ready to do that. People who want to get better change the world.

Sometimes all one can do is to cry. Crying with someone who actually cares. Emotional outbreaks are banned in macho world, seen as pathetic and weak. You are strong this way is the slogan and stereotype considered acceptable. Strong here is physical and sadistic. Wrong kind of shallow strong is the kind that puts people down, kills, takes away human worth. It is our social system that gives abusers and violators credit. Our system systematically encourages violent behavior, encourages bullies.

http://imaginingequality.imow.org/content/football-girls-khayelitsha?utm_content=buffer81be7&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
Football fields provide safe spaces for girls in an informal settlement in South Africa. –

Responsibility is a bitch

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Isn’t it?! Do we take it, do we accept it, do we have it. It is a part of being an adult and a worthy grown up takes responsibility of his/her actions and people close to that person, period. We have responsibility of ourselves and of others as well. There is no around it. Responsibility is there for you to have. Responsibility for your actions and things said. You make yourself via what kind of responsibility you are willing to take. To me it looks like this issue has blurred along the way. Excuses fly over and over of why you did not take the responsibility, why you thought it is not yours. Why do people think things happening do not concern them, do not belong to them. Things like neighbors kids, kids of our own, neighborhood, what we consume or some far away place having a major oil spill.

Things only human can and will do. Flaws newly defined. I’m not just saying.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Give excuses to one’s bullshit behavior is intolerable. To question everything and all is fundamentally unforgiving. To forgive ends a seek and search for better. Especially unforgiving I am to myself. Things are never good enough. That means a kind of military attitude towards human relations and doing things I think matter. I am very protective over people I care about, very unapologetic what comes to ill-treatment and direct if there is something that needs to be said. Closest thing to honesty is what I seek to be, closest thing to perfection is what I aim at. That is possibly a result of nature of unforgivable I have grown into and I do not see why I should forgive when there is no reason to. Do better!

Even though it is good to be accepting of flaws and errors done thinking we are only human, still I cannot stand the phrase. It does not justify misogyny, hate, indifference, stupidity nor ignorance. Those who are only human are exclusive, suspicious, contempt-filled, arrogant and so on stand on lowest place where only human can. They like their flaws.

Therefore I think I am better off and better than that only human phrase, only human image of an all forgiving kind and an embodiment that likes to justify mistreatment and ill behavior because it cannot be battled nor changed. I truly hope there are more people who place their standards higher and see what is actually wrong.
http://www.haaretz.com/blogs/a-special-place-in-hell/.premium-1.619483
””Our relationship has to be built on trust, but the U.S. government hasn’t given us many reasons to build up that trust,” the Times quoted Omar Saqr, 25, the cultural center’s youth coordinator, as saying.”

I refuse

| Henna Timanttimetsä

to be an object that I am forced to be in this culture of objects. I refuse to be somebody I am not. That we are objects, bodies, wanted, tossed, unseen, squeezed and disregarded just like that. That world is for somebody else than me. I refuse to be what is wanted me to be by whomever, which I have always thought is nothing, an object as nothing. What an insane and stupid idea. Who the fuck invents ideas of me and for me. I am expected to be nothing and be happy with that zero existence. I refuse completely to co-operate with such wall that is made for me, of me and in me.

Minding our minds and why we keep ignoring the most important

| Henna Timanttimetsä

We like to pay attention to intellect without much actual fact-based knowledge of it. We assume we know it. As we assume we know ourselves. We think we know how we work, how mind works and what it does. Our brain is somehow in search of all the time, we push it over the top. We should be in search of our brain and what it can do all the time. We have got it but we don’t know. We think we have it under control and that we have that other one’s brain covered, looked, searched and finished. It is a lazy way of seeing that we are finished at first glance, at any point judged and through.

That arrogance is one big problem. That glued on sticker of smart on things and people who have not got much to do with smart. We assume smart is a one way street and we like the word; movement sensing doors and hand dryers, that it is what we see fast and forward. That smart is everything made look easy and to know how things work on the outside. That smart is not having the need to think about it. Smart being something that glides in front of us, we on something gliding in the same direction effortlessly. There is a saying that those who do a lot of work, those who go the hard way are stupider than those who get to go easy, those who understand to take the easy way. Wise man gets it easier.

In a way sure to solve problems quickly and manage with less work the same result can be said is smart depending on the result and where we are heading, what is our goal. Is that what we are getting and doing now, smart, as our lives are said to be made easy with SOME, machines, constant know-how and research results published, hi-tech and planning? Things improve as should we. What is our plan as human race? If I listen to the news it is constant economic growth.

I think we in our intellect religion have not found our minds. Psyche, emotions and the diversity of intellect is yet to be discovered and more importantly acknowledged. To me we are showing symptoms of hiding exactly those things under glass, steel and concrete, silence and constant happy smileys.