Every Finn has a relationship to Russia. (Sadist at work. What’s not to love.)

All the things that Russia is inspire me. To understand this is probably difficult but I guess my feelings and thoughts are normal considering in part I am from Russia and anything Russian was present in Finland in my childhood. As Russia was in the News all the time, an influence via the media given for us. It is of course like all big nations are a constant puzzle and cause of chaos, all the time. I am almost obsessed partly because we are neighbors, because the country is dangerous and the influence we have had from Russia is mighty huge in many ways. Partly because the amount of grandiose, contradictions, sheer lunacy and wildness are beyond anything else. Dark mystery of Russian mind or mysticism, an abysmal depth, and violence that scare both the shit out of me, a history to sink into, a turmoil that is a nonstop mess politically, socially and culturally, painful and bloody for the most part and to follow the soap opera is to realize that this all is happening. The whole of Russia is an explosive entity that excites me as a place and state of mind and has done so always. The question is why the threat Russia likes to embody and keep alive? Russia, the scare and secrets it holds, which mystery it still is for Finland as we wonder what will Russia do next, a criminal for the rest of the world but something we are related to. Criminal is what it politically enjoys being. Such monstrous fear justifies warring just to keep fear alive and well, justifies inequality and bullying because big guys do so, not mentally mature though. Russia enjoys it grandiose and megalomaniac attacks. Its war history is such a big part of the image and character of Russia that warring is something it seems to do naturally. Amount of veterans and problems caused by wars inside the country are also gigantic. It is at constant war also with its own people. Therefore to be peaceful and start building an equal and peaceful country that does not threat its neighbors and the US is a faraway dream country, unthinkable almost to achieve but lovely to hate. How to change something that is historically and organically a law and a habit, violent macho culture? The way things are, ways people think and what things are unthinkable, unimaginable, out of reach. To keep decades long feuds going deserves a prize.

Russia could, if it was in its interest, change Russia completely for the better, meaning better for all Russians and its neighbors. Nevertheless violence and the attraction to deadly games and sadism is unescapable. I adore Russia for its culture and because it is so different to Finland, the sterile cubical Finland. I adore beauty of Russia, naturally, which beauty makes me melancholic and blue, which wildness/ melancholy/wilderness/unexpectedness is in its people, literature, vodka, food, cities, in its size and in its history. Savages, I love your beauty! Russia is an endless game, un suspicion, that does not change all the time to be a contemporary country among others as history is always present as is the suspicion. The way of thinking is a monolith. Nothing is erased, corrected, hidden or something to be ashamed of, other than the assassinations and hazy businesses might be something to rethink. But Russia is moving ahead in someways, rolling ahead and changing maybe visually, how about culturally? Trying to be cool and being definitely scary is a very special feature.

I cannot erase the image of Brezhnev’s funeral from my mind as the occasion was shown on Finnish TV in the 80’s or the nuclear threat or the possibility that Russia any day might do the same as it did 1939 attacking Finland. Somehow possibility of revolution seems impossible, that Russian people would or could overthrow Putin, never. So far we are friends. It is a strange friendship, honest and dishonest at the same time. Something that one can only have with Russians.

Here are some of photographs I took in Kronstadt 2001. Haven’t Photoshopped them, so there is dust.

Threatening woman is to be threatened. Woman as a threat to norm is powerful.

It is interesting to talk about sub-being, sub-human, since it is clear despite the beautiful talks and speeches the inequality is kept alive because it is serving and pleasing, nourishing vanity and desire to be powerful in relation to others. But the groundbreaking changes always tend to begin from the ground, within below point, in despair and a kind of dead-end. The more people drop on to the ground to be spat at and left behind as unnecessary the more anger and need  for change there will be. Those who refuse the role of only to-survive-you-need-to-do-this, to whom it is not good enough to be instructed how to live in a world that is based on extortion and lies, will grow bigger as mass to threaten stability of the ruling few. The more there will be ultra-rich the more there are those who wonder why such enormous wealth concentrates in so few hands. How is it possible and who allows it?

Within the world of making money and making it, being a woman is out of ordinary. It is wondered how she did it. The disbelief is unbelievable. How is it possible to have a mind of one’s own, is this what is the question? When woman is a threat to male clubs, male rule and dominance it is a wonder how women make it. Another wonder is why the difficulty and threat? From whom is it away to see women succeed?

What kind of fear there is now in the world? Is it the same as ever? Do the reasons to be afraid change and do our responses get more progressive or more aggressive? Do we attack or just wait and see what happens?

Atmosphere of fear is almost touchable. Our means and ways of survival have probably become narrow even though our world is full and wide. We like to stay narrow-minded and inside a comfort zone, keep unwanted outside. There are strange contradictions there. We like to pose knowledgeable and guard our territory well. We like act to civilized, but we also practice fascist hygiene order. Yes fascist. Do not let anyone rock the boat or cause a stir. Strangers are scary, homeless and mentally ill are frightening. To me this poses atmosphere of threat, isolation and war, which we have had for decades, now realizing itself politically, environmentally and economically and is a personal burden for everyone, at least should be. Some carry heavier piles than others. How can anyone go and be untouched or unconcerned by the situation that the world is in? How can you float and bitch about minor details. State of the world is not only every government’s burden, it is every citizen’s load and concern.

For me there are many question, the same as probably the most of us wonder, I hope. Is it something new at all, the recession, which never ends or which is not one but many and repeat close by each other. What will come out of this downfall? Is a moral decline something we can do anything about?

Courage in this picture, is to be against. Resist!

We really can destroy you, we really can and we will. (I believe you, I didn’t think anything else. I don’t expect anything else.) You should be more careful. (Not going to be, but thanks for the warning. You mean I should know my place. I know it alright, how do you think I got to be a badd ass.))

You betray me, I betray you. And then you don’t touch me in anyway anymore. Learning to know me…Good. It’s funny you thought you did. So funny and happening in repeat. Yes it’s my cute appearence, it can fool you. Is this about hate or feelings at all? This is about identifying ignorance, selfishness, arrogance and teaching others to have less limited way to look at things and other people. Hmm, I’d say this is about survival. Someone trying to make life worth living, and so far it has been, though not easy, but easy doesn’t make you grow. I’m growing! I’m going to be a blooming tree. How much bullshit does it take? Grow with Bullshit! How much can one person take? A lot!! Humans are incredibly sustainable. I am sustainable, flexible learner on this beautiful planet. Question is why some want destruction and think they can get away with it?

Which movie? Kääk 2.