sexuality

Interesting issue of control

| Henna Timanttimetsä
How much do we need control to have a just structure for a society and how much is order and lawfulness about individuals knowing how to control their behaviour, knowing how others should control their behaviour and why? Most reasons for control are to avoid harm. It has been interesting to follow the endless news feed where Donald Trump is manifesting his agenda, media responding (media out of control responding?) and how he would bring law and order which are somehow lost, partly very much so. In part Mr. Trump speaks without much control over what he is saying, without a plan other than visions of his. To speak of order and lawfulness which to my mind are connected to knowing what to do and say, what to control and how, message is all highly contradictory and illogical. He operates on speech level talking as if he was improvising everything trusting a genius spirit guiding him giving visions of greatness without means of how to accomplish them. In politics which is dealing with highly complicated matters not knowing the facts and speaking without the exact law and order gives an untrustworthy image, although those who have spoken with highest of control have failed the voters.  This is the feeling, I can understand feelings of disappointment. In politics feelings should not have a say but they do. How do we control feelings then? Is it manipulation and how easily are feelings manipulated? When people are desperate and scared maybe manipulation is easier.
We like to think, to control is to know and be in control is what we want to be, knowing what must be done. It is authority and leadership. Just as anywhere to know what is wrong takes work, precision, intellect and an enthusiastic mind, effort and interest. To give tools, methods and answers how to fix things that do not work for people is the way to do it. To begin true control starts from individual level. It is learning. For a nation that has plenty of social issues to deal with building expensive walls is not the answer to anything positive. Corrupt violent nations are good examples of how control is lost and why. Control can be an illusion to fake and not admit that things are out of hand.

Control is a state issue and it is a gender issue, to have a structure and plan, reasons to do things, purpose. Basically nature creates us the first set of boundaries within which we function. Religion is to give us guidelines how to live a life within approved frames which are to control us given by a higher force. All of human life is thinking, experimenting and questioning one’s boundaries and what kind of control is to be obeyed, what is good kind of control and what do we dare to break in terms of rules. It is a safety issue, cultural and political issue where we draw the lines of good and bad, right and wrong and who gets to decide. What comes to women and girls many decisions are done without them, decided for them as if women and girls were incapable of knowing and it would be too dangerous for them to decide much anything concerning their lives. I for example have authority over my life but there is pressure for me to accomplish traditional duties that are for women ’naturally’. My choices are and have been unconventional and questions I hear in repeat tell the same old story where it is almost impossible to imagine and understand why someone does the things I do. It is of course an issue that ironically said does not concern others but me, still anything breaking the ’normal’ becomes a topic to discuss as does teenage pregnancy, who the daddy is etc. In my case meaning of speech outside of me of me is to control me, judging is one form of control where the guilty one is outside. Those who can talk among themselves and understand each other have power to make decisions and pass judgments. So how do I control myself here? First feelings, then thoughts and then what I say and do. I control myself pretty well, how about you? To control urges, desires, habits is what we call civilised, civil behaviour and it has been how we have made distinction between humans and animals and between people. To know where the limit goes is matter of education. And what are those limits deemed to be broken, how progress happens.

Sometimes when it is about adults still one has to talk like talking to minors: When one talks whatever and word is passed forward, it cannot be controlled. I too make judgments of people. I make them by how they treat others. This is about how one controls one’s behaviour towards others, it is about respect and knowing boundaries there are. It is about knowing what human worth is, how to value life of any being. To control our violent urges and needs we stay in a state of not harming.

https://aeon.co/essays/there-is-no-shame-worse-than-poor-teeth-in-a-rich-world ”I learnt early and often that one doesn’t leave a place, class or culture and enter another, but rather holds the privilege and burden of many narratives simultaneously.”

http://qz.com/811718/theres-an-unsavory-link-between-conservative-politics-and-insulting-womens-looks/ ”sexual assault is about power, not desire”

 

Indecency all over

| Henna Timanttimetsä
Interest in pornography lies in its forbidden nature. Porn is in the crotch. All one has got to do is to look at it, put one’s hand in there, taste it. What we are not to do, touch or see is interesting. Why the ban, what’s the harm? To forbid any thought of sex, casual sex, contraception, protection is telling of society who is not able to talk about sex, cannot face that people have sex without desire to have children, that people like fucking and find the ways. Society which denies sexuality denies a large part of being human. A sexual act and nudity we hide in privacy, which hiding or revealing is part of the attraction, seduction and curiosity in needing to be wanted. Positions we are not supposed to experiment or like. Will we be ruined? Will our minds be damaged? Something gets damaged in pornography and we like to ruin, hurt, destroy and see what can be build out of that ruin. Reputation and respectability have been those to be protected. Double life can be exciting at the same time being ashamed but doing it. There are things people don’t know about you, they think you are something else than what you give the impression of being. Why be truthful when you can lie. To avoid rumors, fame of distrust, disgusting sleaziness of being out in the open for what you are, an imbalanced character liking hazy business, strange company who is in search for the marginal finding methods of hiding away from judgmental eye. Marginal indeed. Respectability, likability, honor and obedience to follow the narrow path given where anything scandalously sexual is criminal, scandal is caused easily, honor is lost forever. What kind of honor is in lying? In sex there is no honor which is part of the attraction, only honor is to bring pleasure to the partner too. Sexuality is dishonorable as is being bankrupt. Gay sex, transgender people and any diversity there is, is slashed as unnatural. Unnatural is the act of anal sex which could not be more natural. Men being feminine, dressing and talking like women. There is nothing unnatural in sex and having sex, being a feminine male or masculine female. Sex is to create not only to recreate. Liking porn makes one instantly closer to being weird, liking being weird, not normal which is boring as is being appalled by sexuality. Liking sex makes a woman slutty. In light of statistics it is very normal to watch porn, for women and men. Interest in sex begins from early on: what are these things between our legs for. Shame, denial, incompleteness and indecency manifest in mere nakedness. Awkward desires we are not to have, ask about or show, body parts without names can be hard to look at, to know about, not to speak of touching and talking about how, why and what. What can we desire and what can we have sexually? Sexually all is to be able to fulfill any desire there is. To have all is quite a lot.

Fear of exposure in environment of shame and shame when being exposed can be deadly experience. Why not be happy and proud of what one is, one can end up dead. Are you a pervert, do you think about sex often, what kind of sex do you like, how do you find partners and do you find the ones that like the same things you do? Line between perversion, what is seen acceptable and normal is considerably low. Masturbation is perverted, watching someone masturbate. You are not to do it alone, you are not to dream about it. When you talk about sex it is with laughter. It is a joke. How much fun can sex be and who is having fun? To whom is pornography fun? Fun is when you see something you do not normally see, excitement, thrill, experience of new, can you do that.

When I draw porn it is enjoyable as research, as looking at something forbidden again and again. I am not supposed to draw porn, I like the thought of evil and bad about it and to share this naughtiness in social media is part of my fun. In porn people are to show they enjoy exhibiting their bodies and act of having sex in public. My interest in porn is professional partly that I enjoy the diversity and how pornography evolves, how society absorbs porn almost quietly, how this absorbing tells of that many like what they see in porn. It is expression, a show, how could it be banned when people like it. It is an unstoppable object moving. Logic of banning porn is it is damaging to those who make it and to those who watch, to all of society. Image of an ideal female body has gotten to a point it gets its inspiration from images of porn and what men like. Body is in a process of being molded into very specific desirable woman doll to be used, who is in use all the time, usable in sex and also discarded. Women molding bodies of theirs to fit the image of porn to please the eye, image is slick, made up, unnatural, shaven, without any asymmetry. Is there harmony when there is symmetry, any hint of reality of a woman who is not a retouched image? There is harmony in body not being symmetrical naturally, how we get to be the likes we pay attention to, to get attention, we manipulate. We do not like to be copies but we copy, as we compare to images of porn actresses and want to be wanted. Body can seem ugly, clitoris being the kind which does not please the eye of contemporary aesthetics where all is in control and symmetrical, synthetic and artificial. Anything sticking out does not belong, it is modified. One can go pretty far in fixing oneself. Natural is seen unaesthetic, imperfect, undesirable. Still we talk about the most natural thing, sex, even watching porn is natural. Seeing sex turns on and makes one want having sex. The corrupting aspect here is in how women are seen and treated, how porn is produced, how pleasure is sold and from where it is found. When we can’t escape our sexuality we can enjoy it. Who is allowed to?

Upsetting biology

| Henna Timanttimetsä
What are we when we cannot be defined by our biology? It is almost understandable the mental turmoil over claims that biology stands the last defining factor for us and there is no way round it, why would there be and why are we the way we are. Turmoil over something we cannot fight against is naive. We like to defeat nature, be better, know better and use it for our benefit. We are selfish, narcissistic and full of ourselves doing exactly as we please, how else. There is a little truth there we have come away from, grown apart from nature, nature in us and nature in general. We don’t know it, we don’t respect it, but it’s there. What to do with nature in us and how it affects our lives? Should it be ignored (impossible, especially for women) or learn to understand what we are in this whole which we are part of, from which we come from. To say against nature of ours is to deny the scientific facts, which nature also is for us science and study, a target to explore and while doing that we get to know ourselves. It is also fair to say that we maybe are becoming less human and what that means is to go closer artificial existence. We sometimes feel like robots and building artificially humans to be the way they wish to be is making an artificial appearance, the way we want to be. To refer to nature in talking of us and grounding arguments concerning humans with nature and its involvement in our lives is said to be old-fashioned. Statement is strikingly odd. Since when did nature and science become old-fashioned?

Outrage in the matter of whether transgender people are what they feel they are is insignificant. Outrage against a feminist who has faced outrage throughout all her life sounds tiny and hurt feeling ridiculous, naive and out of the proportion. People get outraged because feelings are hurt and such thing must not happen for those who are hurt continuously because they are freaks of nature. Emotions which there are in massive force used in social media is a curious thing and how we should feel about the matter of comforting cruelly discriminated people who are also a mass, not only transgender people. They are all who do against what they are supposed to do and be, who practice out of mainstream sexuality, who are distasteful in the eyes of the majority, who are perverse, who do not care for normal rules for sexual acts and display sexuality as it is and comes to be. To strain and restrain sexuality, the force and nature in us, is also normal. It cannot be out in the open, there have to be rules to obey religious order. Shame over sexuality is a norm, sex which is natural and should be normal issue to everybody without fear and feelings of wrong. It is therefore religion which has taken us away from nature, animal and instincts which cannot be followed because they are impure. For religion biology and evolution have been and still are tough cracker despite the evidence. How can we have faith in nature when there is such impurity and filth there even though God made it? For humans to be able to manipulate what nature has done is something we justify with religion and with our supreme intellect, because we can and we want, we must have.

When people start hating someone when that someone says against what people want to hear, it is again normal. Surprising and positive would be if this tactics of feelings which cannot be hurt because they are so vulnerable, sublime and true was tossed aside and the outraged defending crowd would be rational and listen, have a discussion instead of wave of hate and outcry. To be enslaved by one’s emotions has been considered instinctive and therefore natural for which women have been accused of, being under power of something we cannot rule and which moves us.

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2015/10/what-row-over-banning-germaine-greer-really-about ”But why are women always punished more than men for having controversial opinions?”

Some torture

Kuva | | Henna Timanttimetsä
Kuva | | Henna Timanttimetsä

porrskiss

Angel baby

Kuva | | Henna Timanttimetsä

Bodies online

Kuva | | Henna Timanttimetsä

Why is body damaging? Or should the question be rather what kind of mind does not tolerate body?

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Questions to be answered hopefully of what gets damaged by body, who damages what in the process of living with bodies, what is there to be protected? Something similar could be asked by why we allow the self-evident damage to be done by excessive mechanized sexualization in visual universe we inhabit? Something needs to be sold and it is going cheap. Constant intrusion of purity is an attack done by entertainment industry. When art does the same there is a scandal. What other is it about than hypocrisy, living in a new world with old virtues and vices. Where is empowerment and who has it?

Thought of the obscene body, body parts, impropriety, bodily obscenity which is linked to build and controlled civilization, concepts of shame, honor, purity, denial, evil, temptation and sin. Corpus that is indecent all the time even clothed must be punished also all the time to prove goodness and strength of mind, ability to control oneself and capability to decency. Our sexuality which is inappropriate, difficult to the very core is on display everywhere for consuming purposes and is still denied, humiliated and put to shame. Advertising and entertainment is according to creators of business talk empowering and broadening horizons, opening minds to human sexual exploration. Obscenity is in contradiction to nature and to nature in us. The more we put nature to shame and sweep it under the carpet the more problematic the issue gets. To be damaged by act of intercourse, seeing nudity, being nude, having to deal with sexuality and complexity it brings is at large a mighty part of nature within us and part of all. The difficulty to understanding this practical everyday part of life seems to be very common and around we see a very sexualized world.

http://thenewinquiry.com/essays/spinoza-in-a-t-shirt/

As there is thought to be a bond between art and exploring human sexuality, art and the dangerous animal in us, it is strange how forcefully sex is banned in art. Such prohibitions, raising eyebrows in embarrassment tell of artists not having much power within art that public opinion and public image play an important role what kind of art can be displayed and seen in art context. There is a strong stereotype of sexually liberal artist, female and male caricature almost which has been made via art history by telling stories. Liberal, someone who is disregarding social norms, such stereotype which is an image from a dusty book than real life. Strangely I have encountered this stereotype of an artist and it is dusty. Sex and drugs and rock and roll.

Dirty pictures?

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Supposedly yes. Sexual act as dirty is what we think. Dirtiness of the act of intercourse, showing one’s private parts in public is revealing something that should not be revealed to all. Uncleanliness of sexuality is a habit of mind and the very essence of our shame. What kind of parts we have, what we do with them and how often, with whom and what happens when we do it, how should we be feeling. Dirt is when we do the opposite of what is proper, against the rules, ruin an impeccable, something that is not meant to be broken gets smudged in our minds. Sex ruining us is the accusation and assumption. It has been shown many times over that when prohibitions dictate lives, shame culture is strong, hiding becomes a rule, strict sexual and behavioral codes are made and maintained as heavy punishments, consumption of porn, prostitution, violence, discrimination and abuse rates rise and such culture is difficult to intervene. When hypocrisy is a dictating way of living and thinking people like to sweep those unpleasant issues under the carpet and be afraid of them. To be afraid of one’s sexuality has been a rule. Talking becomes problematic with much shame about the very issues of humanity, our organic and basic needs, growing hunger for intimacy, desires, lust and imagination.  Those things we are not supposed to have nor express freely as we please. They are ridiculed and anatomy of ours something we should disregard most of our lives. We can be punished for having such desires, women are born into this shame and disgrace.