sexual purposes

I wanna be a model and be seen by many. I wanna be discovered, I wanna be found, I wanna be rich.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

I wanna be a model and be seen by many. I wanna be discovered, I wanna be found, I wanna be rich.

Hi, my name is, hi my name is, Hi, my name is, I would really like to be a model, I would really like to be a model, I would really like to be a model, a high fashion model, a high fashion model. I am sixteen years of age, I am fifteen, I am eighteen years of age. I come from Russia, I come from Latvia, I come from Poland. I have long blond hair and blue eyes, I weight fifty kilos and am 175 centimeters tall. I can walk and look the look. I love high heels and miniskirts and I turn the heads on the street when I walk. I have been told I could be a model, because I am beautiful and slank. That is what you want, isn’t it. Here is my picture. I also have a portfolio of poses taken by a professional photographer. To be in a magazine on front page is my dream and to be admired. True woman is feminine and takes care of her femininity.

Despair? What despair?

Finland Fucks. Watercolours at home.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Finland fucks

Gloomy tale, fuck me.

Sex play number one. We went into his car and I sucked his dick. Don’t  know who he
was. I didn’t care. It was a brisk Autumn night. We went into his apartment and I
sucked his dick. It had already started to snow heavily and that felt good. We moved
on to his bed and I sucked his dick. It kept snowing. We kept changing the place of
action while I sucked his dick. Sun came up and I sucked his dick in slow motion.
You could see the windows were covered with dust and fingerprints and you could
see the street. I saw his dick and I took it into my mouth.
We went to a department store toilet and I sucked his dick. We did some grocery
shopping and went to the car at the parking lot where I sucked his dick. And I truly
hoped that everybody saw. He drove us to a deserted place and while doing that I
sucked his dick. When we got there I sucked his dick. How the story ends? It
doesn’t.

Gloomy tale, fuck me.

Girls on net: in search of a porno monster.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Drawings 2015-2017, pencil on paper from images online.  On some of them there is a website address which is not meant for advertising purposes in this case. It is part of the visual world of erotic internet and I have let the writing be part of the art. Visuals which are very attacking look-at-me, you-want-me, this-is-to-want, bright but kind of plain, repetitious and straightforwardly recognisable aesthetics of porn that does not need explaining, at least that is what I think at first glance. The easiness and little effort that is required makes the whole thing approachable which is the meaning of fun. Fast culture to consume, enjoy and produce, quick pleasure getting straight to the point and issue at hand which is satisfying urges of watching, thinking, touching and fucking, which are always there, urgent, instantly, daily. Images in professional and amateur porn are framed so that limbs, hands and legs, may be only partially visible. The point are the holes, flesh, skin, expressions, poses, her wanting this badly, to be like a thing out of order, out of control and her parts to be penetrated as the main course.

Display of genitalia, proportions, body mass in the right places, spreading open showing it, the vulgarity of it is the unexpected but still banal and dirty setting people on immediate reaction, may it be rejection, thrill, repulsion or something else that varies from laughter to numbness, but it is a personally felt position that carries out our moral views, inhibitions, curiosity, strong feelings and desires to be let loose or stay unchanged. Having something to do with fears, taboo breaking, daring, being bad? Secrets online in plain view is an interesting concept that contradicts with the restricting, fearful and intolerant atmosphere towards sex, sexuality and nudity globally and online. Question there is what is the voluntary part of women here, what are they doing exactly and why? Some kind of ancient image of sexuality being part of religious rituals and beliefs comes to mind. Is this sexuality what is wanted of women, self-expression, something honest, feminine or just a sexually loaded product which keeps women as something to look at in a certain way and be just this image and pose, wanted as an image? When is it good or bad enough, this frame, as it is banal, fast, cheap and available and the platform is free as is expression? To express oneself in pornographic way is it giving everything away as a person or is it just acting, art as such? What was the secret again which is revealed in porn, for viewer to know, secret being there no longer but still hush-hush, a happening in between the viewer and the performer and does porn remove shame, intolerance, misogyny, ignorance towards sex and liberate us?

Drawing does not take the explicit nature away, but is nudity and sex more approachable as art?

Interesting issue of control

| Henna Timanttimetsä
How much do we need control to have a just structure for a society and how much is order and lawfulness about individuals knowing how to control their behaviour, knowing how others should control their behaviour and why? Most reasons for control are to avoid harm. It has been interesting to follow the endless news feed where Donald Trump is manifesting his agenda, media responding (media out of control responding?) and how he would bring law and order which are somehow lost, partly very much so. In part Mr. Trump speaks without much control over what he is saying, without a plan other than visions of his. To speak of order and lawfulness which to my mind are connected to knowing what to do and say, what to control and how, message is all highly contradictory and illogical. He operates on speech level talking as if he was improvising everything trusting a genius spirit guiding him giving visions of greatness without means of how to accomplish them. In politics which is dealing with highly complicated matters not knowing the facts and speaking without the exact law and order gives an untrustworthy image, although those who have spoken with highest of control have failed the voters.  This is the feeling, I can understand feelings of disappointment. In politics feelings should not have a say but they do. How do we control feelings then? Is it manipulation and how easily are feelings manipulated? When people are desperate and scared maybe manipulation is easier.
We like to think, to control is to know and be in control is what we want to be, knowing what must be done. It is authority and leadership. Just as anywhere to know what is wrong takes work, precision, intellect and an enthusiastic mind, effort and interest. To give tools, methods and answers how to fix things that do not work for people is the way to do it. To begin true control starts from individual level. It is learning. For a nation that has plenty of social issues to deal with building expensive walls is not the answer to anything positive. Corrupt violent nations are good examples of how control is lost and why. Control can be an illusion to fake and not admit that things are out of hand.

Control is a state issue and it is a gender issue, to have a structure and plan, reasons to do things, purpose. Basically nature creates us the first set of boundaries within which we function. Religion is to give us guidelines how to live a life within approved frames which are to control us given by a higher force. All of human life is thinking, experimenting and questioning one’s boundaries and what kind of control is to be obeyed, what is good kind of control and what do we dare to break in terms of rules. It is a safety issue, cultural and political issue where we draw the lines of good and bad, right and wrong and who gets to decide. What comes to women and girls many decisions are done without them, decided for them as if women and girls were incapable of knowing and it would be too dangerous for them to decide much anything concerning their lives. I for example have authority over my life but there is pressure for me to accomplish traditional duties that are for women ’naturally’. My choices are and have been unconventional and questions I hear in repeat tell the same old story where it is almost impossible to imagine and understand why someone does the things I do. It is of course an issue that ironically said does not concern others but me, still anything breaking the ’normal’ becomes a topic to discuss as does teenage pregnancy, who the daddy is etc. In my case meaning of speech outside of me of me is to control me, judging is one form of control where the guilty one is outside. Those who can talk among themselves and understand each other have power to make decisions and pass judgments. So how do I control myself here? First feelings, then thoughts and then what I say and do. I control myself pretty well, how about you? To control urges, desires, habits is what we call civilised, civil behaviour and it has been how we have made distinction between humans and animals and between people. To know where the limit goes is matter of education. And what are those limits deemed to be broken, how progress happens.

Sometimes when it is about adults still one has to talk like talking to minors: When one talks whatever and word is passed forward, it cannot be controlled. I too make judgments of people. I make them by how they treat others. This is about how one controls one’s behaviour towards others, it is about respect and knowing boundaries there are. It is about knowing what human worth is, how to value life of any being. To control our violent urges and needs we stay in a state of not harming.

https://aeon.co/essays/there-is-no-shame-worse-than-poor-teeth-in-a-rich-world ”I learnt early and often that one doesn’t leave a place, class or culture and enter another, but rather holds the privilege and burden of many narratives simultaneously.”

http://qz.com/811718/theres-an-unsavory-link-between-conservative-politics-and-insulting-womens-looks/ ”sexual assault is about power, not desire”

 

Women who are for sexual purposes only. Who are those?

| Henna Timanttimetsä
Well I would like to know. It as it seems is a repetitious assumption which I and people who identify as women and girls face nonstop. Sexuality which is there a thought and taken for granted, sex appeal of a gender which should be covered not toyed with but still playing for sex is my part and I should enjoy this attention and idiocy, simplistic idea of what woman is for, that women are for other people’s enjoyment firstly, to be taken and done for, done whatever to. So what is it all about as I see myself as a very versatile and complex human being, I am being put into a very small space with no air and I should put myself into such airless mode, role and like it. Think it, act it, play along because that is allowed to do. It is allowed to be a sex object but not to objectify oneself as art, for art and expose the process of a tradition of being a woman.
I have watched since childhood men treat women like second class citizens who are under rule and do not have a say over it. This should be a free world but strangely freedom is for specific type of people, freedom to abuse, mistreat, minimize and abandon, freedom to think women and children are less intelligent and capable. Even though it is over and over again proven to be untrue and in many ways a harmful way to see humans socially, politically and culturally, to use power putting vulnerable ones down is a rule. Sexism and sadism do not make society flourish. They make a violent and unsafe environment where women have to be afraid to speak up and do against. Girls learn to do what girls are expected to do and be like. Those who do differently are whores. Yes girls can be girly up to a point, they can do things up to a point. Boys are allowed to go further naturally. There is no whore stigma on them.
It is clear women are despite all policing and expectations judged very harshly. It is no wonder we judge and minimize ourselves and other women. This of I am a living proof. Negative feelings tend to take the better of all people. They are easily spread, difficult to beat and tackle with especially if there is competition. Women are seen weak in this regard: they are not able to control this emotional side. Well neither are men. It is just more normal for them to be hateful as there is more justification for them to be hating and angry. It is manly to be harsh. Women showing their angry side is still some tabu. I notice this when I speak loud or angrily, it freaks out and I am unwomanly. It is culturally interesting to break such silence and convenience where it seems playing nice does not get much done.