THE TRIGGER WIRE FOR THE BOMB THAT HAD EXPLODED EARLIER IN THE DAY IN A PLACE LIKE N

series of drones on watercolour, Observation point, 2016-17

5.1 Emotional mapping and finding the ways of existing: war against nature and what is human nature. An effort trying to understand human nature in relationship to nature and growing from the natural.
5.2 Who is saving what? What is there left to be saved? What is worth saving? The constant worry of survival and for the future.
5.3 Mass destruction: warring and whoring. What is it all about?
5.4 Face of war

 

5.1 Emotional mapping and finding ways of existing: what is human nature? An effort trying to understand humans in relationship to others, us and nature and growing from the natural, evolving and superficial.

THE KILLER ELITE and Many of the men who disappeared, fingerprints of the men. They never saw them again. It was as if the men had vanished.

Bullet riddled body, his family searched for
his body to no avail
demolished the orchard’s walls with explosives; the trigger wire for the bomb that had exploded earlier in the day in a place like Nerkh, the shooting of a child is unremarkable for everyone but the family.

he would recite verses from the Quran and think of his children.
the Americans had arrested him, they sent a delegation of elders to the police chief venomously anti-American

poem after article https://www.rollingstone.com/interactive/feature-a-team-killings-afghanistan-special-forces/  by Matthieu Aikins November 6th 2013 in detail story what has been going on in Afghanistan after US attack and war 2001.

(Of course, they knew what was happening in repeat.) [10.]

Why does it, what we do, what happens in the world by us, depend on how we see ourselves? It is how we see ourselves is what we are? Our perception is vital for us, we are trapped by visuals. We are the centres, shells, attention seekers and we have a need to be seen and recognised. We must see with our own eyes to witness and believe (does seeing mean understanding? We understand individually from our own perspectives, how correct any perspective is and how blurry and mixed with assumptions and bias.). I ask knowing our perception and comprehension are distorted and guided, also how we see ourselves is and what we demand for and of ourselves. Our perception of the world is made through our senses and understanding of what our senses and experiences tell us, also by what we are being told. Many look but do not see; we do not have the time, we are not interested, we search for something special without finding it etc. How perception of ourselves is made in the end is a lot of factors, as is what we should be. We like looking at ourselves, but do we see the person how layered we are, we want to be and others to see, want to see in us value, what we are is what we should be or not at all usually. What do we understand and don’t is a matter of understanding that we are flawed and our perception is filtered, as this concerns everything we do and how we evolve as persons and build up, it is important to acknowledge weaknesses in our vision, perception, understanding, knowing, learning.

Being easily guided or being a person of your own have a lot to do with what do we dare to think, say and do. How we see and observe ourselves and others is curious in terms of understanding and learning, thinking we know what is possible to make happen and what happens in the world by us and others, what happens in relation to the learned, known, new and old. We act and behave the way we understand we can, should and/or must, ourselves being what is true to us. Of course this can be falsely said as many are not true to themselves, do not know themselves, which as weird as it sounds happens to larger extent than we like to admit. We are a mass and very preferably stay in the safety of that crowd. The world is therefore now our image and object, a lie or plain factual reality, the truth. Our psyches, fears, emotions and expectations reflected and put in practice, understanding being our quest as individuals, a community in a place trembling. Bodies and desires lay out in the open to those who can read such signs, in display for us to do something about and use, abuse, construct anew, go after, if we wish (what do we wish other than safety?), but being incapable and somehow lost at the same time. This incapability is what strikes out as important, what is it we cannot do and learn?

Dystopia for the future is waiting to happen since we are abusing and destroying the earth, ourselves and other beings over and over again until nothing else is left but dirt and wrecks of people trying to survive. Image is cinematic and somehow constantly present (not so far-in-the-future science-fiction?). Tortured minds, sand, machinery and mutilated bodies, death and drought but innovations of men, a constant state of battle and survival in brutally new circumstances (I don’t think it is the good-looking people in LA who will survive or is it so they have all the money?) Although we are aware of doing differently now might have a beneficial impact, many choose not to. It is our decision and path to not profit all; throw-away culture is a party. It is always the next thing that is interesting, still be safe and feel good, know yourself. Risking these might make you lose. So we will perish by our own doing at large-scale and cleaning up is not something many consider a good job. It is again something out of sight. It is conscious decision-making and choosing, knowing our destiny which is our destruction, to be destroyed en-masse which can happen because of war, poor economic choices, illnesses, running out of food and clean drinking water: safety will be gone or very pricey. To profit from this is what evil men do, right? Expensive medical costs, privatisation of water supplies and housing, polluting natural resources etc. Happens all the time. To think further is to see what is there for us, for us is what always is there to be considered primarily. We act upon what is our interest. Who is this us? We become from having, we need a lot and we like to form groups in terms of wealth and benefits. It is our worth how much we have and we are measured by this trait. Who are successful and greedy for it are seen as winners. We make from what we have got and also from what we do not have. Such division does not end at ground school, but do we have different dreams? Of course. To be able to profit the most is a skill seen valuable and clever. To live is to win, know what is there to win and feel powerful about, who can be powerful and how power functions, power being practiced by becoming the what we value the most, how we structure societies is about power, markets and whom they serve. It can be said it is our nature to be violent, selfish and via that be powerful. When looking at the evidence, the history of man, capabilities of fists, schemes and innovations, taking over by force is what we do well, invading. Evidence is there, we know what comes of being violent, but how does it influence decision-making today? Wise on the most part, strict, calculating, manipulating, knowing of the results when making decisions and options which multiply as we make complexity although we love simplicity and easiness obviously? Thinking for yourself is a drag and takes a muscle.

Using the known the somehow understood power position is to share power, but how sharing happens and what does it contribute to: how do we want to benefit from sharing or not sharing power and how monitor the power usage and its effects? One can radiate power (one can be a sunny smiling dictator), it is curious how a person takes up one’s personal power, understands it and uses it, how it happens the power of one. To absorb power, used and learned, feel the power that there is around, make it, maintain and keep it. Power is violence and it is care. To think it as energy that needs to be controlled, preserved and which is a necessity. How to share power to preserve and multiply its potential?

To be violent, disciplined and orthodox is to know how, what can and must be demanded in order to show wanted results for organising society to work long in to the future. It is a very direct and straightforward close-up needed in order to be militant, precise and the whole society to function as an army, morally weight choice to erase originality and creativity can make a mass a power house. To bring light to the darkest corners is to appreciate power as an equalizer. Those who object can be put to danger or opposition can bring the wanted push for progress spreading empowerment across the society in the name of freedom of speech. So, why does brutality repeat although we know the wrong and the right, I assume we do. It is a decision of whether the one person is granted his or her right to choose a life, life which originates from individuality or do all people serve the nation and live for the nation. Because we are liking the violent nature of ours and the results of this part we see in the world or is it the wrong kind of people who seek power and the power they use is the most effective kind, we tend to live for the system because it is an easy choice? Human nature and mind is glorious, godly, innovative, dark and violent, to suppress this makes us more human?

Human mind is many things, uncontrollable, when people feel free to choose and use their power, for many dangers lie just there, the power is what people individually choose. We enjoy it so much, the results of shared power, that there are decisions made for us for our protection, that we like too much of this comfort. God’s part in using violence sounds ancient in this world, God which we should fear is far away. Watching dying and death feels bad, we feel guilty of not doing enough to stop the killing in the world, powerless in front of death, suffering of others and being afraid of it, of ourselves for not doing anything about it. It is a luxury to be able to do and think freely, it is divine. To see the world in need of saving and of course it is in need, we are being ourselves, in need, and we create by living freely the need for nature and human nature to be healed: we end up going in circles very much all the time. It is a pattern of going under and rising up emotionally. Be left alone and uncivilised, marginalised, is to be saved and destroyed at the same time. It may be the inevitable outcome, strangest progress in radicalization, turning process of balance to imbalance, there is that we possibly become more aware of the consequences of our actions, or we should be and we learn when we must. Knowing makes destruction more effective, but also possible reconstruction. Maybe we are understanding progress wrong at the moment and the future is more and more in the dark which causes fears.

Question is what do we see worth saving, worth our effort, how do we define the valuable, worth knowing and learning about, worth leaving untouched and unspoiled as we calculate what is worthless we like leaving behind, defining what is garbage, what is worth our attention and learning about. We must be having things that are of value and that is our worth, to know and have, this is what I have understood. How long can we abstain from loving the feeling of owning and what is the worthless we discard? Why there is desire to use all there is to use and rush to another place and do the same? Everything and all what one can grab is part of human nature or is it the nature in us for us to find balance via hierarchy, spreading like cancer to the extent of intolerable and unjust and collapsing? Is it a basic need, greed of man, fulfilling what we are and lacking instantly, fulfilling instantly giving pleasure, a rush of being able to have and be somebody, taking all the chances and space there possibly is? Who stand accused of and in line, because we like to practice violence towards every living thing and call it justified because we can? Traditions and needs of becoming a success story show on images online: posing in front of killed wildlife like a noble man, posing like a true beauty lies in a hunt and being able to shoot, manifesting happiness and luck, wealth, adventurous character and mind. That lifestyle is for the rich. The poor kill to survive. To bring honor is to become rich in experiences and be admired as such keep us as species thriving on one way lane, as posers. The world is here to be saved, owned, had and ruined by us for us and there is heroism there. State of the world is the state of ours, to save ourselves from ourselves may be impossible. To save or ruin and a possession of ours to use as we wish, life, to have a life and live it. We doing what we wish with it when all we want is freedom, livelihood and opportunities. Idea of a free man is to be a conqueror, an emperor. Native tribes originally thought/think the earth does not belong to humans, but we grow from it as parts of nature as natural and profoundly insignificant, which to the first world humans can be and is an intolerable thought. As natural as we can be and is what we should understand what it means in everyday life, we defy this, but desire the natural as strength and vitality which we have lost and found again and again. What is taken from the earth must be returned, but is not. We may lose sight of what we take as it is ours in our minds, we do not know nature anymore and what can be returned is not natural anymore but toxic, inorganic and harmful and this progress is difficult to change, still we talk about and demand change. It happens all the time. It happens when forced for the good, when faced the destruction. Earth has balance of its own which we

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should follow and respect, that is the wisdom. Is protecting the environment and human rights hindering our freedom to explore, profit and innovate? Yes, regulations and laws are supposed to bring obstacles that bring corporations to think how ethical business can be profitable, how sustainable products sell. Who has time to be wise these days, who is the guru of the today’s world? Wisdom is slow, progress/change/evolution today in part is fast and also partial. Business world has taken up position of the gurus, wisdom in life and the quotes, narratives, success stories, miracles. Surely wisdom and the market are not opposite to each other, we seek wisdom via products, we find salvation through this religion we have found. What we can understand as valuable progress must be visible for the consumers to understand it as progress and get excited about it to buy it. What happens to progress of man-made structures that keep societies moving, growing and living, what is that progress all about that is quite short-sighted?

Nature takes care of us, we should take care of it, the nature, the ultimate power, is the wisdom we constantly leave behind, forget and ignore. There is beautiful complexity in the organic world. Nature and tragedy of abuse is we cannot repeat complexity of nature, of ours and do not understand complexity to appreciate the infinity of nature, layered human mind. Truth in traditions of aboriginals and natives remind us, we are small parts of the whole, dangerous, but nature is more dangerous when we don’t know it. To learn to trust, respect and read nature, live with it and learn from it, is something we begin to forget since we do not hunt our food and do not spend most of our days looking for something to eat and place stay at. Just because we don’t live in nature, from it directly and we do not have the time, but yet we are dependent on it. Why has western civilization come to think easiness is the best thing and travelling to Mars is a brilliant idea? Again looking somewhere else, the further the better. To think everything is for sale, a trip is something to have, to have it all where we should aim at and see running forward full speed admirable? By inventing money-making tactics, mathematics and trade, methods of conquering and creating of the unstoppable machine which is us, civilizations have become booming and crashing; we go up fast and come down as fast, or faster, the easier exploitation and lying is the more difficult changing the whole society for better is. We wish to expand and grow, search for opportunities, which is good, that makes us opportunists. It is somehow a naturalist way of living, kill or be killed, win or lose, taking risks keeps us alive mentally and physically. So in a way we are practicing our nature. If you do not move ahead and win in this game, someone else will. Today what does it means to act out (as we are performers) in civilized manner in civilized world, in a world of excessive need to produce new, cultivate the culture of easiness and seemingly high performance: exploit, mal use, discard to get a new one, because we can and are unable to repair, unable to make another one for ourselves, can make our world malfunctioning at one point. Something about the easiness and effortlessness we like and complexity we do not control is where we stumble. To observe the day now, nature is outside of us as hostile and dirty. We like naturalness as a copy, to wear and something made for us, shaped for us, but we are disgusted and fearsome when nature comes too close in form of insects, menstruation, nipples and weather. As we ‘evolve’, nature becomes unfamiliar to us, it attacks us with force. Is nature at war with us since we have been warring against nature all along as it seems or is it just a natural state of being, a cycle where destruction is inevitable to renewing?

We need to stay healthy, living in clean environment is a right and nature is in this sense a friend of ours as it is the healer, calming our minds, busy bodies and repairing itself after us (just like in Chernobyl). In nature and with help of nature we can find ourselves and become whole again is the mantra. Nature is the sellable product we must find, from where we find the cure, which we come close to like a product to smell and apply on skin. We are scared of the beast, the amount of abuse is we see it our right  to harness the dragon, don’t see it as abuse and we fail to understand how far we can go and what is this trip about. We miss what it is to go far as we call life a journey, spiritual travelling, a trophy of having a life in luxury, a deed of travelling to clear ocean. Oneself can be too far from oneself, it scares to be close.

It is a very emotional issue to think about nature since it brings us joy, memories, emotions, pleasure, honor, food, spirituality, experiences and winnings: our winnings are all from nature. We want it badly as a possession, it brings us pride, is our extension. We don’t want it to be what it really is and be close to us naturally on skin because we may not know what it does. It is beauty, incredible work of creation and the opposite of control and strict purity we like. Nature is surprising to the extent it is too much of excitement. What we want to see in nature is what it represents to us and gives us, cuteness and waterfalls, what we constantly find in nature is a mystery and awe. Awe I feel while watching the ‘uncivilized’ nature, full-blown without human set limits, the uncontrolled infinite one making itself over and over again with and without people. As much as we know of our planet, it is divine and a mystery, sacred and unknown. To be lost there and here is the horror image, disaster movie in a dark wet forest.

Despair, the negative, leading to finding paths, solutions. Emotions to be avoided like being lost and being totally alone, something felt strongly of wanting, a hand is not reaching far enough. Like admitting failure is to be desperate, of not being good enough, not fulfilling expectations. We are controlled by feelings more than is good for us, we have emotional necessities and constraints. We are in our believed wit and reason firstly emotional and chemical beings, which is reason enough to know and believe nature’s work in us. Instincts, intuition, sensing and feeling, chemistry of our hormones make us what we are, part of nature. What makes us humans is this complexity which we like to simplify as it is too much to take and tolerate. A blocking dead-end feeling of no other choice but to accept our ‘animal’, the nature within our human frame. To deal with it, the ways are and have been many, matters of life and death, who is human enough. There are constant surprises and they are the normal or should be. The tragedy of norms is we must fit into them. We make and invent

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solutions and means somewhat hopeful but narrow, because we must (that is the human nature restrained into proper), when there is no other choice than do what one feels, practice civil disobedience, trust the power of one’s own, the power within, the better judgment of one’s own and knowledge of one’s own possibilities and options there are for anyone to go against.

5.2 Who is saving what? What is there left to be saved? What is worth saving? The constant worry of survival and for the future.

Despair, the extremely negative emotion, unbearable hopelessness, emerges when a nation starts a war. When attacked and when going after against another nation, defending something or for whatever reasons, conquering a piece of land, having the right to revenge there, defend what one has. Moving ahead as world police saying God is on our side and approving of war for this reason and we are mighty because of God’s approval, empowered by the divine. Desperate sounding as there is little left to hope for those under attack or for those who hesitate to the part of God in warring. An attack against is the only option to preserve national pride at cost of lives and mayhem. We must do something risking everything we have for our future and for what we believe in, that is what we are and stand for as People. Despair of people who seek for the better life, who are not satisfied for what they have got, where they are to or what they have become may be a war-like situation, such as in many countries ravaged by gangs and drug lords. Despair of people who seek for empowerment, safety and success no matter what. Despair of those who try to put the world on a right track to save it and us. Despair of the selfish, and despair of the selfless under circumstances and coincidences and as a basic feeling motivating us, contradicting. To save the world for a flourishing paradise, for it to remain a paradise, which it still is without fear of death and misery which could be a lot for many. Despair being the leading emotion mixed with anger, hate, envy, greed and rage in doing, at the moment, at least when one follows the news, emotions are at display and used to describe situations of people, justifying actions for the viewer to feel for those who suffer and we pay attention to feelings of others, what they make us feel. Are their feelings justified or their actions? Sounding so cynical, but what else can we do?

I’m not sure if people recognize their emotions, why wouldn’t they is the first thought. How much hate dictates people, disgust is used as a shield and a divider. How people have the inside to feel, give and contemplate why they feel they do, how irrational it is; what is this feeling for and what to do with it. It is an absurd thought why wouldn’t we know what we feel, but often true. But it is one cornerstone of psychotherapy to learn to articulate and address especially to oneself how one feels, why and what do feelings mean, what triggered the feelings and thoughts and what these do to oneself, feelings arising because of what happens, how one has felt because of how someone spoke, why one feels the way one did when someone ignored one and how one feels about people and oneself now about what has happened, what one has experienced in life by people, by oneself and how does one perceive one’s part, a victim or a violator, a bystander, an average consumer, a rightful citizen, an underdog. How could one know someone else if one does not know oneself? That is many times why despair and fear take place when we do not know what is going to happen to us, everything is lost in a moment and why bad things happen to good people. Knowing too much can be a desperate and agonising place as is not knowing, knowing emotions and how they rule us is useful in terms of living healthy balanced lives and what we pass of ourselves forward. What there is to know, what is good to know and how to place these pieces rationally in everyday life is wisdom.

Fright won’t do when one needs to get something done properly, move ahead and in a new way. One can either succeed beautifully or lose miserably, but you tried, promised by Satan lurking. Risks we take and have taken have shaped our world. Try again. We are active by nature which we tend to forget. Our moods depend on activating the body. We are doers, makers, achievers, masterminds and ancestors of those who have taken steps, moved around and taken leaps looking ahead not knowing what might happen. Without something we see worthwhile doing and have a burning interest, without desire to evolve, without curiosity, our investigating nature, we would not be where we are now. To learn to use curiosity for our benefit not just to find out but become. Saving dignity, preserving a legacy, achieving those is to be heroic, staying put is for those who are satisfied with what they have got. Something indestructible and sacred like a blessing is still within the explorer and conqueror. It is to say I want to do good, be good in the eyes of others as well as in mine and doing good makes me feel good about myself. I want my life to be part of doing good for humanity. Find norms of doing good is probably the common path to choose from. Good is a

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human thing to do most might say. What is bad then? Is it animal behaviour as we like to think? Animal instincts make us do cruel things? How does punishment fall upon us, fear of being punished and abandoned for immorality? To keep us in place is to wage fear and shame. It is easy to find and know what the good things are, worth preserving and use of propaganda is to create division and illusions of good and bad. Still those good things aren’t self-­evidently saved and prized. Rescuing is a well-meaning term and act of a kind heart as is to save a life a heroic deed. With heroism we can go on thinking wholehearted patriotism of the good people, who have chosen to do good and be good, call themselves good because they stand on the good side. They have it and easily continue warring against bad people, against something truly evil. Is it a very Christian thing to do? Pride or hurt happens to patriots and religious people so easily, defence and attack are there as tools, opposites fighting to win who is the most. Opposites disliking each other as they are in each other’s eyes the evil-doers and spreading ill. Do we ultimately save bodies when we save lives or do we save souls and persons, to whom these tasks of saving fall on in the end? Do we save and preserve because it is a good thing, socially acknowledged, because we are bound to take care of each other or because role of a savior brings glory or all of those things? Am I again being cynical here or are social media and double standards having the best of me? What does human life consist of is a complex web of sides of having life and living. Preserving life, the organic, bloody and then facing death evidently. To be given life, be thankful for it and which no one should take away or end. We act for the good of all by saving someone from suffering. To do good may help that other to continue do good.

Emotional in the news by the news made dramatic watched by, responded only when disaster hits close. The viewers to either respond or ignore, have rapports as background noise: they are all the same. We are spectators and documentators of what happens, of disasters we cannot do anything about, but feel guilty about, we must know of them and think how fragile life is, how horrible things people can do. What a viewer feels while watching the news, what is the stand of a spectator or a documenting bystander? How important it is to know how feelings dictate us, witnessing the massive hit against a mass of people, how are we manipulated by the media and what are respectable feelings before the commercial break. Why does it look like it is very often irrationality and cynicism manifesting itself, presenting itself perfectly as the rational? How something very rational as Western modern straight monoculture can turn into being irrational and disastrous, or has it been like that all along all the time. Something we have been afraid to acknowledge and see, the lunacy of ours in disguise. Modern mixed with Christianity tightly like the Middle Ages mixed with superstition and living along with cyber space technology makes progress look shallow. Denying our mental illness-like faith in God’s word, which illness is something out from demons that normal good people do like to worship? Mental illness is something to be hidden as dangerous, normally, something to be hushed and killed away, saying that we all are a bit crazy in a funny way, which on other hand means something liberating.

Crusades ongoing today in our world appear crazy on any scale, crazy being a word in normal use just as OMG. There are quite a number of people who have a very good and high opinion of themselves, but they do hateful acts in repeat just by talking and consuming. Rightfully in their eyes for some reason they fail to see hate in their actions or see hate as justifiable because they have been wronged or hating feels good: I love to hate.

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We as humans are in a situation where we have no other choice than to discard ways that are corrupting, destroying the earth and ourselves. That is not a little tiny thing to do, because admit doing wrong is extremely difficult firstly. And to do this globally, understanding the importance of acknowledging, engaging in collectively without wanting something out of it financially. Meaning and happening of change globally will be the biggest event in history of mankind and how to change when we talk about it constantly is the big question mark. Who wants to change, what is to change and what kind of change are we making all the time? I say this because there is not much time. In fact, we do not have time, but we love to be in a hurry, don’t we? To be in a hurry is a luxury and a marker of status. You are needed and important, you are making something, you are visible. Western way of living has come to an end of one kind. It sounds sad in a way and  it is very, because it will be extremely difficult to change our habits, strategies, beliefs, desires and ways of thinking. Way of thinking of knowing the absolute right has come to an end, ways of closed circles that cannot be entered. Change is think anew what we need. If you are not able and willing to rethink you are doomed. We are at that end which is a train. What saving operations am I talking about and which ones will count?

Why would I help anyone and how do I help myself are some key questions in today’s world. Western consuming and living in luxury is an ideal, has been and still is seen as something to reach out for and dream about. We do not have much hope unless we do radical altering in thinking of value, worth and price, price of living, value of life and culture of aiding, sharing and gaining. This is my realistic view to it and it demands a drastic amount of work because in our interest is what do we benefit from doing anything. Our contribution now being an endless production of human waste filling earth and we must invent ways of what to do with it. The shit we make and why we make it, what is it with excess that is so alluring. This goes for everyone, this I hope, weighing in the options and how we want to look like in other people’s eyes. There is continuing false thinking that one person does not count or matter, what do my doings make in a big world. Him and her do matter, everyone. To change what we practice now, overproduction of junk does not mean just recycling and cycling. It means stopping altogether of overusing. Halting under growth demands and never stopping comparison to each other is impossible. What does it take to change an intolerable way of living and thinking? Probably a disaster.

First it takes seeing what are the things that are in mass use doing the most harm. Then we observe how many willingly would give up for example eating meat, which is a major question in food production what comes to people’s health and preserving the environment. Meat production’s need for energy, water and field space to produce food for us, food we don’t need, is intolerable. Meat is a very expensive source of protein and nutrition. Meat production is in many ways wasting of resources, not to mention cruelty done towards animals, which are often treated as emotionless objects without consciousness. Objects to fulfill our needs for leather and steaks. The amount of feed given to animals would feed a substantial amount of hungry people. Again, it is a question of habits and traditions. What we eat and how we eat, as is where do we eat. Is it a treat to go to McDonald’s and is it seen as fun luxury to be part of a culture that is for maximum fun and consuming? How valuable do

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we perceive meat to vegetables and what does meat-eater think of him/herself. Accommodation and food production are the most important necessities we need to keep up to keep on living. To not have those every day is a personal disaster. For millions not having those every day is a disaster that is not done enough to. There are several reasons leading to not having these basic needs fulfilled. Mostly due to unemployment, homelessness, war, corruption, poor social structures, indifference and inadequate health care. The United States is an interesting example what comes to poverty, food supply, traditions, habits, wasting resources, making war and global politics combined with religious and patriotic beliefs. The US has a tremendous impact on all of the world politically, entertainment industry included (I see it as politic making machine and part of the national propaganda machinery of the US). So far, the nation has been a leading force and molder of finance markets as any other markets there are globally. If there is talk people not liking Americans, there probably is a good reason. American policies have been (mildly put) arrogant and totalitarian despite hegemony of loving democracy and freedom. American way of life is alluring and tempting for many as it seems what it says to be: free. The American Dream on screens and images is everywhere. how do we find freedom there? According to statistics American Dream is out of reach for millions of Americans themselves. On Feeding America website there are stats showing one face of America, which is devastating to read. Under the Supplemental Poverty Measure, there are 49.7 million people living in poverty. 3.1 million more than is represented by the official poverty measure (46.6 million) 2011 [1.] Figures are enormous even in a country of 300 million people. How well do these people living in poverty find their way out of their situation depends on how they find work, place to study and live, how bad is their situation to begin with and what kind of networks do they have to help them cope. If every diploma has a substantial price tag, poverty continues to flourish as ever. There are different states of poverty which vary around the globe and for which reasons are harsh. There is a definition of absolute poverty or destitution, which refers to deprivation of basic human needs. Lack of clean water, lack of food, shelter, health care and sanitation. Relative poverty is defined contextually as economic inequality in society. Societies led by the few wealthy and with corporal dictatorship economic inequality tends to be substantial. Poverty can be profitable and serve interests of the wealthy. [2.] Absolute poverty is a problem which seems to stay in the certain areas of the world. This is basic knowledge to most people, problem areas have continuous problems growing worse, knowledge of where poverty exists and why and who should feel guilty of the situation, what could and should be done, how much aid is helpful, what is the help needed and when people should learn to help themselves. Major question is why nonstop problems keep on existing and growing to the extent and devastation they do? Why people stay poor, hungry and desperate and what is the role of bad leadership in this. It is huge. Lack of education, gender inequality, corruption, lack of democratic politic making, extreme weather conditions, poor health care, poor housing and no work are signs of dead-end places. All in all, lack of future prospects, opportunities and

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sustainable welfare keep on existing.

A girl born in brothel in India or in Bangladesh will most likely become a prostitute. In documentary Whores’ glory (2011) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhgpTrgLYt4 directed by Michael Glawogger a brothel owner (woman) states this as a clear future prospect, also to a child of hers and there is nothing to it, there aren’t any other choices. Prostitution is likely to be a future profession of many boys and girls born in extreme poverty without chances getting out of being poor. Without care, education, functioning inexpensive health care and support from the government situation remains. Charity is not enough and it is not lasting or a constructive method to remove poverty. How a nation deals with social issues and looks after its people plays a big role in dealing with poverty and other problems following. Support can mean a community that helps every individual in that community on their feet and is open to people wanting to join that community. A functioning community is open to learning, facts, opinions, ideas, change and difference.

Community of a brothel is based on caring of women of whom nobody cares for. An equal and evolving nation does not resist change on any level, does not abandon anyone, works together for everyone’s well­being, also it does not lean on brothels to take care of people in their basic needs. In poor countries there may be a thriving middle ­class and advanced technology in use, but wealth achieved does not trickle down to all parts of the society. In this way middle ­class abuses poor by neglecting the mass of ‘hopeless cases’ who are miserably left aside and felt disgusted by. Stigmatizing the poor, the working poor, is an everyday practice and creating a level of look-alike glory and class is a way of using power where just anybody does not enter. One way of doing this is to keep power in the hands of the rich only telling it is justified and right and they earned their place. People having parliamentary office are often the rich pushing causes of their own and their ‘friends’. In this picture politics sucks big time and corruption flourishes. If corruption is seen as a good way to move ahead why change the situation. To seek equality and peaceful action between people and nature could be the best way, but it seems to be the most difficult and less lucrative. There are some radical contradictions in the picture to salvation and glory. First what is salvation, how we pursue it, how we select which ones are worthy of rescuing and how we place grounds for saving. In order to be saved something has to be gone wrong. Our inhabiting the world the ways we do being one major threat and a violent act against nature, against ourselves. What is what and being rightfully ours should be argued. Us is against us, we are against other beings, it is a constant battle. Genius is the most cunning one. It is a place of excellence to put oneself above, to the place of righteousness, of knowing and having force and might over. People who have placed themselves on pedestals to have leadership have fought for it, have wanted it badly. It is one way of evolving and building cultures, to follow something, someone who knows where to go and how to do it fast. How long does the master last on that mastering spot?

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Our animal instincts show best in a life-threatening situation, us panicking, nurturing our babies, wanting to survive, fighting. Our bodies and minds function accordingly with what we have learned. There is the thought that being led by emotions is animal-like behavior. Oddly according to the idea of world owned by man, animal-like instincts are the ones that keep us alive. We live in a world of separation, world which is divided into the first and the third world. Stages, progress and order of white man, order of privileges and most of all order of power and wealth. The privileged people and the unfortunate ones living in an impossible world where injustice is more a rule and we think we are very human in our reasoning, winning, beating and conquering. Which ones of us are the first in line of needing to be saved and being rescued and from what? How do we save ourselves from ourselves?

We are obligated to help to a certain extent. We offer what we have and do what we can. What else there is to life than assistance since we live with each other and are dependent on. Decisions to make how to aid, what is necessary and a human responsibility to give aid when you can are constantly figured out. How much do we let our pride dictate our capabilities to aid, how our self-worth and position is in comparison to others and how much there is division between people in helping and caring? Can you help someone who is at the bottom of a gutter or are you disgusted? How much do you think it is your duty to help? Where does the limit go and at what point it does not concern you? In welfare the state has a role of a saver of those who are unable to save themselves. It also is problematic in the sense that the role of helping is tossed to the state so much so that people begin to think helping others does not concern me. To think that there have been more or less desperate attempts in the name of saving the world is again image from movies. We are swamped with problems and pleas for help, all under constant threat. Amount of issues that have gone horribly wrong is immense.

It is one of the strengths of biblical message that God and good is and lives in every one of us and by saving one you save the sacred. Attempting to help someone in need is saving the holy. Interesting question is how much religion has got to do with our savior position and need for salvation and glorifying ourselves. How much Holiness and idea of the sacred direct us to do things for others. What comes to religion it is a collective binding thing and bringing people together, on the other hand religions have torn the world apart. Separation and bringing people together the non believers, believers of different religious faiths has bloody history. In the name of God, God is on our side, by right of God, God saves, God justifies killing, God above, in God we trust. These are phrases used to let us bear in mind reasons to do things, how they should be done, why

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do anything, they justify our existence and makings. We have God’s word and blessings on our side. Still in use in most of the world, in the US as well as in the Muslim world the sword of God, justice and judgment of God. True believers like to build barriers between different kinds of people of faith, abolish difference, which is a threat to the community and what is acceptable, barriers against those without faith and so on.

West is driven by interests of finance, to prosper in the eyes of God, God of war, vengeful God, our God is a jealous God, he is on our side whatever we do as long as it is his will. Word of God is a powerful tool in the process of justifying deeds of the chosen people.

It is clear people acknowledge we need saving because life is problematic as it is, due to human psyche and needs and whatever circumstances we might have. Randomness of life can be unacceptable. We need to continue living, struggle is for learning, becoming and be forgiven hopefully. I can’t help of being cynical when thinking about good promises of saving the word and the act of giving. We, humans are the ones who need constant saving because we are sinners. We are forgiven by God, so what is hell for? We are desperate for being saved, being told we are good as we are and blessed. It is hardcore rescuing of souls and minds needed to mend our bad doings, to save something that is good and figure out what the good is. The world and its saving operation as it is in us and outside us, becomes sensible, possible and actually realistic in religious context. It is sorrowful, desperate and in the same time joyful situation to witness hopeful collective understanding arise which has got to do with faith and mystery of life. But does religion change ethics, attitudes and perspective of man when in the end man wants to save himself only hanging by and on to that faith in God and the good of his?

5.3 Mass destruction (warring and whoring. What is it all about?).

We are warriors. Soldiers, fighters, people battling, having daily combats: who is the victim here if not the one who fights constantly? How do we victimize ourselves and do we since it is a cultural norm not to place oneself on stage as weak and show one’s hurt? We must suffer alone. Hurt is to be hidden and be the burden for oneself only. By victimizing ourselves we put us in the position of needing help, here comes psychotherapy again in aid for us which we clearly are in need of. Maybe we are victimized by the war of existence, burned and marked, owned by our pain. We are victims, knowingly, but not showing. Sacrificed and slaughtered at the altar of war daily, the daily battle of existence in pictures and anywhere. We must

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in order to feel empathy towards anyone first allow ourselves be empathetic towards ourselves. With this thought admitting hurt is healing. It requires a permission to be a victim to feel empathy. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and weak in need of help. It does not mean a constant going in circles and crying out loud, ending wounded and nowhere, nor weeping about misfortunes of life, because misfortunes are there. What else would it mean? No one avoids those pitiful moments of self loath, hate and feeling sorry for oneself. To be merciful towards oneself would be the key to finding happiness everyone longs for, that it is in the moment and achievement. Release of guilt and sadness in a way of letting one feel every emotion there is, emotions as they are, can be helpful. To tolerate and recognize the emotional self is about accepting emotions as they are and learning them, what they do to you and make you do. What control has to do with our emotions, is a lot and what kind of control is needed, the meaning of self-discipline and order in life.

5.4 Face of war

War has multiple faces which turn into one twisted one in horror. Heads roll, many fronts are build and fall down, ways of realizing oneself in relation to wars happening in the world is that one cannot be shutting it all out, the images, refugees, suffering, a war with no end is a feeling of not being able to breathe. War is manifestation, propaganda and a statement, but I always wonder of what exactly. We manifest and propagate by making war and fight, manifest after a manifest our points of view and force, right of being absolutely right. For some it is a right to have and make. A manifest of power, of existence, rightfulness, of being right on the right side, of having right to judgment and punishment, wipe wrong from face of earth.

At war there is a constant threat of being killed, seeing, smelling and hearing death. Meaning of war is to kill or get killed. To win at war is an illusion. War is performative audio­visual act of violence in which there are only victims and losers. Winner is the arms dealer whose winnings go beyond comprehension, for whom war is a jackpot. Killer is a victim as is the killed. Situation where there is no alternative is victimizing, when there is an obligation to go to war when young. Before the act of killing the killing has already happened. Who feel obligated, is obligation born out of patriotism, which rose to new high after 2001 attacks in New York. The victims in rich countries are displayed truly vulnerable and hurting like no one else. Victim of war propaganda, victim of brainwash, of being on the side of something against something, of circumstances of politics and circumstances of reality made by businessmen, journalism and politicians. Victim of political games and schemes, where very often the biggest criminals deciding for wars go free and prosperously retire. At war people are forced to make murder, which is not considered normal behavior for a person with morals, dignity and appreciation for human life. Defending values and ways of life by killing is a way to make the world. In this light we can ask for whom is this world made? Operations to save face, to preserve honor, of way of life are operations of manically selfish lovers of power, glory, position and wealth. Some calling such attempts justified rational acts of politics, righteous and that something had to be

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done to find those weapons of mass destruction. Much that I have followed politics, since the eighties, to make war is seen a global necessity to act, to make a point, to show off as world police, gain power and to have a say over. The amount of warfare and man­made catastrophes is appalling. It is startling to think that during the 1900s there have been four wars on Finnish soil only.

In the aftermath of the First World War and Russia falling apart for it to become Soviet Union, civil war broke loose in Finland in January 27th 1918 continuing bloody to end in May 15th 1918. In November 30th 1939 Soviet Union attacked Finland determined to invade the country in couple of weeks, which attempt failed and war ended in March 13th at eleven o’clock 1940. It is important to notice the imbalance of forces between the two countries in this war. Finland had only 32 tanks in use. Soviet Union started the war with 2514 tanks and had at the end of the war 6541 tanks in use. It really was a miraculous survival battle by Finns. A war when Russia did not invade the country felt victorious for Finns. [5.] Continuation War raged during 1941-­44 after Finland started claiming parts of land it had lost in Winter war to Russia. The fourth and so far, final war was the Lapland War 1944-­45 between Finland and Nazi Germany. Looking further than that in history the list is long of battles in the area of Finland. These four closest wars fought are still vivid in our minds. Memory is kept alive to feed our national pride and our deep respect and oath to those who fought in these wars with their wits. Seventy years are not far away, there are people who are alive and remember the time. Soviet Union/Russia is a one nation that has made serious contribution in making war also elsewhere all the time. Since it is one of the largest countries by area in the world it has probably felt warring is its contribution and right to master. Somehow it seems it does not know any other way of ruling than by violence and invading. Russia battled on several fronts simultaneously which it did for example fighting the Winter War and the World War 2. Macho culture and aims to keep a large nation together take a toll. Russia still is far from being a democracy and as a huge nation impact of its doings is major to its neighbours. Russia tends to be partner with other dictatorships and in this way of thinking it is stopping equality and peace from evolving globally. It does not want equality, freedom of speech nor democracy.

Soviet Union and now again Russia both have been invading areas, putting down rebellions and stopping attempts of different parts of the country to gain sovereignty. Some uprisings succeeded in gaining independence like Estonia which declared independence 1991 after it turning into battle of course. Russian despot ruling has had horrible consequences to ordinary people. Latest in my mind are the wars in Chechnya where

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Russia has had two wars during 1994-­2000. To take a closer look at war history makes it clearer how ruthless and merciless its politic making has been and continues to be. One reason over any other is money and image. Financial interests of power nations like Russia, who conquer by size and because of their size it is like a rule to rule violently. Sizeable nations the US, China and Russia have a lot to say on political field. They have large economical influence and created dependence of energy and goods for Europe. China also acts as a waste manager for many western countries which depend on China’s willingness to dispose recycled garbage. They all have strong ideological background to persecute dissidents, which dictates their politic making even today and radiates around the globe. There is tradition and cult of violence in macho cultures, which makes it hard to learn to act and think otherwise, that it would be wrong. Machoism is an ‘easy’ way for a boy to become a man and become a ruler or at least respected member of society. Initiation rites which make boys men are actively in use especially in gang cultures which flourish in South America and Russia. Rite can be to kill someone, beat or be beaten up. To rule with fear is an efficient way to keep power and learn to control with fear. To keep people in belief that those in power do good for people, because of having gained power position. Wanting to run for office is proof itself of good will. Do good because they are good men and have gained position for being, doing and looking good.

To have a look at the political map globally during one hundred years the result is that every political plot and game end up to the US or Russia and those schemes don’t stand the light of day and come little by little to public knowledge. The US likes to pull the strings and stir the soup well, once a friend can become an enemy. Sharing the good in soup made not too well as messy as the world politically looks today. Soup in question and made is poured all over in bad. (How generous of you.) Is it tasty for the rest of us? During one hundred years there has been nothing but political plotting to get the most profit in to the hands of the few in continuum, the exploitation done during centuries makes it normal. There have been extremely lucky people, well-connected who have ended up filthy rich, who have decided it is their time to do politics to get even richer, which continues even more so. How much the politics of the US is actually made by corporations and owners of the super rich enterprises running and lobbying, one can only guess. It appears the most of the world is owned by corporations and politicians merely have the position to execute wishes of the money men and often enough politicians themselves are very rich money men. Warring requires equipment, preparing, planning, strategy, focus, patriotism, loyalty, money and it makes good profit for those who manufacture arms, astronomical. The US still has an agreement with Egypt for example according to which US grants Egypt financial aid to buy American arms. The amount of money is substantial which goes straight to arms manufactures in the US. Money flow does not leave the country. ”Despite the highly secretive military budget, which the law protects from scrutiny, there are a few cases in which the public can glimpse the vast economic power contained by

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the Egyptian military. One such case is the economic military agreement between the United States and Egypt. Between 1948 and 2011, the United States has provided Egypt with 71.6 billion received approximately 1.3 dollars annually in military aid from the United States. The Obama Administration requested another 1.3 billion dollars for the 2012 fiscal year.” [6.]

Morals seem to be strict where there is no moral. Interests of nations and people are usually more financial and economics is the ruling force of all in the world. Wars that were fought show on every graveyard in Finland. On every Independence Day we are shown the movie The Unknown Soldier on TV. We watch it or not. Knowing reasons leading to wars I still am puzzled by the extent of them. Knowing what triggers warring it is not comprehensible nor justified on any scale to reason and make war anymore as we should be wiser than before. How could a macho culture be changed which warring clearly reflect and be altered to be less hostile? Number of ongoing wars and wars fought is scary and mind-blowing in lack of a better word. The amount of money spent to kill seems to be secondary issue. For warring the money is found, billions of it. Effects of battles to those who have battled and to those who live in battle fields are no doubt crucial, devastating and long-lasting. It probably can be said no one leaves a war zone unhurt. Those effects last decades and do not remain within one generation. In the US scars of the World War 2 and Vietnam War are still in the process of healing. Many veterans of war have ended homeless being unable to work and support themselves. Side effects like alcoholism, depression, suicides, post­traumatic stress disorder do not heal themselves in time or never. Symptoms affect not only the individual but the whole community and families especially. War does not end to declaration of peace. It continues in the minds of people, in movies, stories, cities, landscapes and in history books. Desperate acts and useless in every way, not to mention far from peaceful life on Earth.

Ways of facing problems, problems which make politics seem messy and criminal. Benefiting from politics to make war and profit, dynamics of everyday life, diplomacy, hierarchy and protocol, means how to build an equal society are always beyond sufficient and quick to be done. There are always ways to do things better. Then we have to choose by whose better we want to live, for whom we live and work. Who would want to compromise, who decides peace is a better option? Who should are the leaders. Wrong doings and hurting to solve something have taken larger than life proportions and scale in a way that has done quite the opposite than solved anything. Latest atrocities would be wars in Afghanistan and Iraq both of which have gone bonkers, lamely put, and measured by

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any scale and seen on any graph and dimension. Both wars have been horrible disasters for both Afghanistan and Iraq, but also for the US. What are the worldwide effects of such large-scale attacks? Despair is raising its head in front of these never-ending situations all over the world. The war crimes done for which no one is charged with. War crimes firstly the US having attacked an independent country to find terrorists and weapons, which were not found and evidence that allegedly was, wasn’t there. The biggest terrorist so far and by far is the United States of America itself. Especially during the last decades of the twentieth century and beginning of this twenty-first. Bill fallen on the lap of citizens of America is estimated to rise up till 6 trillion dollars and lives lost hundreds of thousands mostly civilians (this number includes casualties also in Pakistan). [7.]

Conclusion of everybody is that warring against terrorists in this way has not been worth it. War to avenge dead Americans is an act of pride. Sadly those situations are ongoing even though the US is not bombing anymore but trying to preserve livable circumstances for civilians as they have also been saving lives of citizens of other nations in their own opinion. All this because the US was attack 2001 in New York. Quest for weapons of mass destruction failed. Two bad guys Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein were caught and executed. One of them was not even put to trial, which making democratic justice happen would be demanded. That much for democracy and peacemaking. Revenge, brutality and paranoia being leading political agendas and ideologies. How to even calculate losses of these wars or make Afghanistan and Iraq peaceful societies again. Losses go over any estimations. Cost of war is always far-reaching; emotional and mental hurt is difficult to cure. Not to mention need to avenge, bitterness and hate which remain. War is not a cure.

Who becomes a victim? Is there pattern in dynamics of behavior and what is qualified as weakness? People kill and slaughter each other at war repeatedly.

It is bold to say a killer is a victim, but this is the case. Bullies and killers are the most hurt people, power and aggression working as shields replacing empathy lacking. Driven by their hurt, trauma, history and lack. Mostly lack of love and caring (this my theory). Desires which drive for warring. When facing people who have done bad things to other people, how these people are faced and what is bad enough? How does one look at someone who has killed? Have they done something you would not do? Who judges the bad and wrong? Do we pretend we are not affected by hurt, hurt against us and others? Do we laugh at hurt? To harden ourselves to manage as it seems many do, is a survival shield. It is humiliating to admit hurt and pain, but when you do

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does it open up a new person, a freed one, relieved? If I say we are all victims of mass manipulation of what is right and wrong by what is taught to us, told to us repeatedly, I’m not hugely mistaken. Gender is manipulation, power is manipulation and truth should be found, truths, lies and multiple realities. It can be difficult to walk one’s own path. Group pressure is a strong manipulator and guide of people. It is not easy to dare to do differently and follow truth of one’s own. Responses can be immediate and very often negative. In society where I have grown memory of war has always been there and I was to fight like a soldier to survive which has a lot to do with my sex. [8.][9.][10.]

1. http://www.feedingamerica.org/hunger-in-america/facts.html 18.11.2013
2.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty 18.11.2013 3.https://shadowsoftenderfury.wordpress.com/s=there+is+something+about+the+nineteenth+century interview by Alf Gunwald Nielsen with Gurminder K. Bhambra “There was a concerted attempt to begin to demarcate Europe from the rest of the world.” What Bhambra has in mind is the emergence at this point in time of a way of writing history, in which Europe was posited as superior to the rest of the world.”
4.http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/01/how­economic­growth­has­become­anti­life?CMP=twt_gu 
Guardian Nov 1st 2013 by Vandana Shiva “An obsession with growth has eclipsed our concern for sustainability, justice and human dignity. But people are not disposable – the value of life lies outside economic development”

5.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_War 19.11.2013 6.http://www.jadaliyya.com/pages/index/14063/the­moral­ambiguity­of­united­states­aid­to­egypt  by Frida Alim dynamics and schemes of the US and Egypt dealing with arms deals and contracts, concerns and debate over development of democracy in light of unjust spending on arms by military and US meddling internal affairs in Egypt. 29.11.2013
7.http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2013/4/5/report_cost_of_war/weiss.net/2013/04/democracy­afghanistan­pakistan.htmlhttp://mondoweiss.net/2013/04/democracy­ Moral ambiguity of United States aid to Egypt by Frida Alim Sept 9th 2013, 29.11.2013 8.http://english.alarabiya.net/en/business/energy/2013/10/24/Iraq-sees-hefty-return-to-oil-growth-in-2014.html Reuters, BaghdadThursday, 24 October 2013, 29.11.2013
9.https://www.theguardian.com/social-enterprise-network/2013/oct/24/canadian-social-stock-exchange
by David Floyd  Oct 24th 2013, 29.11.2013
10.https://www.rollingstone.com/interactive/feature-a-team-killings-afghanistan-special-forces/  by Matthieu Aikins November 6th 2013 story telling in detail what goes on in Afghanistan after US attack and war, 29.11.2013