Penalty of forever you will be branded.

Woman sexually is a target. She is a target as a mind and size of small that must be taught into fitting ideological mold, bound and told what to do. Bad women do not do what they are told to do, which also becomes a silent mode of knowing what is expected of you, so to do what is unexpected is always a victory. When woman is sexually active and shows this in public she is a beast, a whore, stupid enough to do otherwise than what is expected of her and an out of control freak mostly who is seen in negative light and must be punished. Penalty is shame and leaving outside the group of those who keep themselves within comprehensive and civil boundaries which are set to females. It is no wonder outspoken and loud woman is seen arrogant and rude. Dressing provocatively is always a sign of certain kind of looseness, bad taste and wildness that is not permitted behavior for proper women who obey rules. Those rules which are for women are to maintain order and follow religious mentalities, know religious penalties, divisions and fears. What happens to a woman who is disobedient, goes where she should not and does what she pleases following rules of her own mind disrespecting traditional place of woman, normative behavioral rules and regulations of what is good to do and what is not. Good is keeping the society unchanged.

Man is manly when he fucks around, woman is doomed. Man is doing his manly fun, woman is doing out of stupidity and irrationality, out of sheer irresponsibility and ignorance, coldness and because women are not to be trusted. And because she is diminished into carer of man understanding his flimsy ways, still he is not weak, she is. He has got back up which is the whole of manhood and men who do what they urge to do and are allowed. It is no wonder women are weaker in this context of violence and minimizing. They have a heavy burden to carry and wall of prohibitions in front. They are not to lift heavy weights but they do so without anyone noticing the burden lifted weighs a ton or two. One burden is a burden of history and tradition which loads have not moved that much even though we like to think we have made progress. It is difficult for many to look at their genitals or say their correct names out loud. When asked whether women can say vagina and think it is perfectly normal without shame result is many find it awkward. Yes why on earth say vagina aloud in this overly sexualized world. We don’t say it we go around it. Still sex is the most talked about topic, topic that raises scandals, emotions, storms because of daring to address the issue or doing something that breaks the rules of obedient society where nothing much changes other than the gadgets.

To hear puzzling comment how can someone do art about menstruation and hang the picture on her living room wall is still a comment of this day. We think this issue is somehow settled, women bleed and it is normal part of their physiological and anatomical activity. Women and girls do menstruate monthly and in many countries it is a shameful dirty happening not beautiful or normally acceptable. I was ashamed of menstruating when I was in my teens. It was intolerable and difficult to understand why my body without my consent wanted to do voluntary bleeding from my vagina and that place felt dirty, unspeakable, it hurt like hell for couple of days and my whole body felt achy for nothing. It was like my body bullied me into being something else than what I was used to and comfortable being, boyish. The transformation into woman was something I found difficult to accept because the whole process was agony, scary, out of control and I didn’t see any point of it happening. It happened without my permission showing my insides as I felt turning inside out. To choose to be of one gender and sex would have been an ideal, I thought, because being a woman seemed an endless list of sexualized patterns, rules and ways I didn’t want any part of. To be a woman was to be under authority and rule which seemed and still is tyranny.

To do what is expected of me has shown to be impossible. Expectations are minimizing and denying and prohibiting me to find out what I can do and be. This is not anybody else’s decision but mine. I do what I find satisfying and my goals are set by me.

What does a child understand, what does a woman understand?

To being born a girl means still very different things everywhere than being born a boy. This must be said aloud since it is thought that we have managed to solve such issues as inequality of sexes, solve inequality at birth here in the West where feminism has effected positively in how women and girls are treated and what kind of opportunities they will have in their lives. To speak of inequality at birth we mostly think of those developing countries in which more conservative points of views come to decide how sexes become to follow their duties on strictly guided paths, how difference is made clear. Difference is a gap but also something intolerable. Intolerable and agonizing point is where one is born into and sex is unchangeable truth, overwhelming and either bad or good. Knowing what are those two sexes for without possibility to change that mental landscape. How are our capabilities utilized by society, family and by persons themselves is a key issue and what is there to be utilized, what for are we produced products? The very heart is how well can we live as persons or can not and how roughly are we pushed to be an obedient mass. What is a nation for? What happens to those who simply do not fit in? How do invariable, rightful and lawful members of society make the construct of nation build by families?

Who can and will have minds of their own, minds of our own, a mind of my own, how is mind educated? Family values and where they come from play an important part in how children become to value themselves, others and how they see their possibilities and roles outside the family. To be able to see sexes as equal but different has proved to be a very difficult task as sex is seen through traditions; how we should be and become, models for living are passed on though we are very different now than 50 years ago, at least as civilization, and born to do different things as such. Opportunities are there to be grasped for more people than ever, knowledge can be found and used. What are we born to do then with what we have got? How will we find the right and tools to know who we are? Who is to decide and when will child decide for himself/herself? That women and girls are by definition less than men easily happens to be the guiding thought even this definition is not verbalized but an actively played part with gestures, clothes, innuendos, structure of society which leads the way. Gender roles which are unconsciously followed because we are not challenged enough to do otherwise, think otherwise? Are we that irrational? The construction and basis of our gender ideology we obediently follow has not been thoroughly changed. Such turnover would alter centuries old structure beneath us and the world as we know it. Would we be completely lost? There are many reasons why we tightly stick to safety which stability brings. It is a time and energy-consuming a too complex issue to tackle with to change the very ground. How women and girls are treated by default, by an invisible order, how will they be provided for the same opportunities as boys and why it is extremely important to pay attention to consciously influence on changing inequality. Not to pamper but to make sure there are no walls and obstacles that normally are there for girls. Boys are naturally given the place in which they are glorified, important, let to run and act wild and somehow the directing place falls on them just like that. Their honor lies in different achievements. Woman’s honor is her calmness, her kindness, gentleness and prohibition from sexual pleasure.

The happening of gender, making of it by thinking we know what gender is and what does any gender do, is supposed to be like, the easiness of falling into old ways of thinking is the place where we have to be extra careful. How we do not favor someone because of their outer traits, because we see them as better because of their sex, because self-assurance is a sign of quality, because wearing a suit is a sign of power, because those who have the loudest voice are allowed to speak for others etc. It is extra important to unlearn such learned ways of thinking where sex by default is something particular because we are first thinking persons then sexual beings. This duality we go through from very young age: am I my genitals, am I my brain? I am not my sex although I am completely defined by it, by what I look like which is feminine and sexual, sexualized and for sexual pleasure. I am much more than that which can be difficult to pay attention to and very difficult to acknowledge. This I do not say to boast, I state it as a fact that happens repeatedly not only to me but to many women, which detail is a stepping stone for those who look and who function like the most repetitious. Looks should not be an issue but it is always. It is as if I am not for me and I am not allowed to the same rights to exist, make, create and accomplish as others. Stating this it is clear we are not equal. What I represent in the eyes of others defines me and some of my opportunities. How much does it weigh how I define myself and how broadly I stretch to test my limits remains still to be seen. Paradox is that women can be very flexible and capable of doing a large variety of things when they are allowed to try.

One cannot highlight enough how important role of adults is, any adult, all of them. To not call women whores just because you can, to not be violent towards children and women, do not be violent at all. To understand what is violence, verbal and mental violence, abuse, exploitation and violation. It is a growing process for all. Adults are not ready people, they do not know everything, they do not possesses divine laws by which to tell who is absolutely right and what that other should be like.

http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/dear-daddy-this-rape-prevention-video-is-incredibly-powerful–ZyRy2DPpqg

Upsetting biology

What are we when we cannot be defined by our biology? It is almost understandable the mental turmoil over claims that biology stands the last defining factor for us and there is no way round it, why would there be and why are we the way we are. Turmoil over something we cannot fight against is naive. We like to defeat nature, be better, know better and use it for our benefit. We are selfish, narcissistic and full of ourselves doing exactly as we please, how else. There is a little truth there we have come away from, grown apart from nature, nature in us and nature in general. We don’t know it, we don’t respect it, but it’s there. What to do with nature in us and how it affects our lives? Should it be ignored (impossible, especially for women) or learn to understand what we are in this whole which we are part of, from which we come from. To say against nature of ours is to deny the scientific facts, which nature also is for us science and study, a target to explore and while doing that we get to know ourselves. It is also fair to say that we maybe are becoming less human and what that means is to go closer artificial existence. We sometimes feel like robots and building artificially humans to be the way they wish to be is making an artificial appearance, the way we want to be. To refer to nature in talking of us and grounding arguments concerning humans with nature and its involvement in our lives is said to be old-fashioned. Statement is strikingly odd. Since when did nature and science become old-fashioned?

Outrage in the matter of whether transgender people are what they feel they are is insignificant. Outrage against a feminist who has faced outrage throughout all her life sounds tiny and hurt feeling ridiculous, naive and out of the proportion. People get outraged because feelings are hurt and such thing must not happen for those who are hurt continuously because they are freaks of nature. Emotions which there are in massive force used in social media is a curious thing and how we should feel about the matter of comforting cruelly discriminated people who are also a mass, not only transgender people. They are all who do against what they are supposed to do and be, who practice out of mainstream sexuality, who are distasteful in the eyes of the majority, who are perverse, who do not care for normal rules for sexual acts and display sexuality as it is and comes to be. To strain and restrain sexuality, the force and nature in us, is also normal. It cannot be out in the open, there have to be rules to obey religious order. Shame over sexuality is a norm, sex which is natural and should be normal issue to everybody without fear and feelings of wrong. It is therefore religion which has taken us away from nature, animal and instincts which cannot be followed because they are impure. For religion biology and evolution have been and still are tough cracker despite the evidence. How can we have faith in nature when there is such impurity and filth there even though God made it? For humans to be able to manipulate what nature has done is something we justify with religion and with our supreme intellect, because we can and we want, we must have.

When people start hating someone when that someone says against what people want to hear, it is again normal. Surprising and positive would be if this tactics of feelings which cannot be hurt because they are so vulnerable, sublime and true was tossed aside and the outraged defending crowd would be rational and listen, have a discussion instead of wave of hate and outcry. To be enslaved by one’s emotions has been considered instinctive and therefore natural for which women have been accused of, being under power of something we cannot rule and which moves us.

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2015/10/what-row-over-banning-germaine-greer-really-about ”But why are women always punished more than men for having controversial opinions?”

Interesting talk by Esther Perel: adultery and infidelity, for anyone who has ever loved.

This is my stand: I am not for betrayal but when I am betrayed I betray you. Quite brutal don’t you think?

 

Bodies online

porr

To agitate and wage hate against someone: Bite me.

To my great surprise I have ended up moving from one hateful group to another. I have long stopped thinking it is my fault. I follow my interests and they are many. People have their reasons for hating and they do not need much for finding reasons. Hating for sake of hating is obviously good enough. As it happens many don’t recognize their behavior as hateful because it is common, normal and accepted, which is as such truly surprising that thinking you know is a valid way of grounding opinions and ways of interacting that do not alter. People can have a very twisted outlook on the world and to other people without much truth in their points of views. It is always the other to blame when something is not right.

If gossiping and stabbing in the back is not hateful I don’t know what is. If you promote yourself hating someone and think it is justified maybe you should seek help because that is fucked up. There are plenty of people who put people down talking bad things about those others and that scheme somehow lifts those bad talkers up. Very strange pattern of thought that through violence you could be lifted, elevated as better than. That is not accepted in schools, in art, in science nor at work, it is not accepted from parents.

Laidat/Edges, paper on wall, cutouts, 2012

Male logic? a woman= a human being= a person with thoughts and feelings. I wish.

How do you explain the concept of good manners to someone who does not understand good manners way you do? Animals have more understanding of manners and kindness than people. There are many kinds of good manners for people obviously and the manners women are supposed to accept as nice are often not those. There are different manners for men and women. Women are more to be subjects, subservient under rule self-evidently. The unwritten behavioral code is a straitjacket where women do not speak or only about things that are appropriate, act feminine, they are supposed to be afraid (girls are taught to be afraid) and they are, they are not supposed to object or disagree, show anger, to differ from mainstream of what is considered feminine. Punishment is immediate for women who disobey. I myself have been seen difficult because I have shown my anger and disagreement quite loudly. Woman’s anger is either laughable or contemptible. There is something wrong with her not in the surroundings. One more reason to like myself and any woman who is loud. Be able to verbally and vocally tell one’s thoughts is a sign of respect and show of will to want to change things. I respect myself therefore I say what I have in mind when something needs to be said and you have respect when you listen and vise versa. Although silence can do the same. Difficulty of communication of what, when, why, to whom etc.

That there is a complete misunderstanding of what is polite and how to apply politeness into real world of very different people and ways to see the world is a puzzling dilemma that seems impossible to solve. What people want and how they want/take what they want, especially of and from other people is at the heart of this problem between us. Problem in the world is the constant desire of people and how to fulfill needs of people. We live to desire. What are we entitled to have and what is ours without needing to justify it? There can be the obvious possessions that belong to every people: human rights, dignity, freedom of speech, right to privacy for example.

It is the most bizarre idea that something clearly threatening which can repeat over and over in the period of decades in someone’s life could in any way be polite like street harassment (of course, how could anyone know what has happened to anybody previously. Oh how indeed.) but still there are people who find attacking on a street and stalking on the internet flirtatious and almost a right of theirs to move on and with, to get on top of that at the time interesting ’thing’ who they target. The idea that someone beautiful is there to be used and exists for that reason only, exists for someone not for herself, not as a person who has the same human rights but as a thing, empty like there isn’t still much there because she is a thing. Incapability to understand and take into consideration what other person can feel and think is amazingly alive, insensibility, indifference and lack of respect for women as people continue as ever, as women were cattle. The polite user of an object (alive) can look at it from all angles and when he is done, what then? Can move ahead as his politeness has made an impression on the object found and has been awarded by this courtesy, object is checked and done with. Quite an exploration into human psyche when a scratch on surface will do to make conclusions on damaged goods. Target has shown gratitude for the attention that she for being so beautiful seeks.

This is an interesting topic for me to investigate as it is a wheel of fortune or wheel of destiny, unstoppable and extremely cruel. How woman is perceived because of her gender she is born in, her appearance and what to look like and why, anything she does and says and why she does what she does are to follow orders. Why she is what is? And why those questions mark her or more over do the answers do the marking, stigmatizing, as answers are set.

”Women’s rights advocates like her see a continuum between the deadly violence and supposedly harmless everyday sexism. It’s true that Argentine men feel entitled to deliver a public “piropo” — literally, a compliment; in practice, any lewd comment or wolf whistle — to any woman of their choosing. What may once have been a tradition of poetic gallantry has degenerated into crude catcalling and aggressive repositioning. Such routine street harassment is widely regarded as socially acceptable, a masculine right even.” http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/16/opinion/argentine-women-call-out-machismo.html?_r=0 Ms. Tuñez’s nonprofit organization, which provides shelter for 200 victims of abuse every month, is the only source for figures on femicide in Argentina. According to its count, more than 1,800 women were victims of femicidal violence between 2008 and 2014. That works out to one woman killed at least every 36 hours.”

http://www.economist.com/news/asia/21654123-south-asia-one-worst-places-world-be-female-despite-being-woman?fsrc=scn/tw/te/pe/ed/banyan ”The resources spent on women in South Asia are shared more unevenly than in most places. Among the richest quintile in Delhi (it is a similar story in Dhaka and elsewhere), women can enjoy maternal and other care close to first-world standards. By contrast the poorest quintile in the same cities, especially in slums, endure conditions as bad—or worse—than in far poorer villages:”