I see it the idea of tough love an ideology by which to live for people who do not see nurturing and providing for other people a virtue but something that prevents personal development, sharing as something that prevents progress. It is very Spartan therefore ancient but it is practiced by lots of people still because there are lessons to learn about people and about life and to experience struggle is a strict and effective teacher. There are good things that follow this guide-book of harsh and unforgiving mentality. It is fascist maybe or near fascism, a rule where people are left to survive on their own, a kind of natural selection from which it is extremely hard to rise up but some people do still. If you do not survive you do not deserve to live, if you do not win and thrive you do not deserve respect. It is how I was brought up. I had to survive, or harshly put, die, to say it plainly and simply. Here people talk to graves not to other people, so I guess I’m being talked to when I die. I cherish the thought, as it is fucking disgusting it is something to laugh at. I have experienced as an artist, as a woman who used to be a girl that I must know my way myself, to shelter and protect myself as there is no one else to do it for me, so far so good. I have grown into a kind of tough love but in Finland I am not completely alone as the state provides for schooling, healthcare, infrastructure, housing, clean nature, equal rights, justice etc. My tough love experience still is not the toughest of all, by far. I really cannot complain, I would not dare to complain. I am very privileged.

It is the same to me as little boys who are sent to military academy in Russia (one example in Kronstadt) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kronstadt. What does it actually mean that there is the word love when the feeling is wiped away as we normally think love is to support, share, understand and encourage? Life is tough without such love which is supportive. Does it mean that we will still lack and lose something if we are wholeheartedly supported and cared for? That we will not be able to find life in its entire full meaning when we are protected, overprotected, sheltered and given all we may possibly want: Not getting what we need though as we think we know what we need, what a person needs is to see what there is to get, can somebody give me what I want, what are the easiest ways to get those things desired, what there is to learn, why learning is essential in being human and what to become in the end as there is no end. Those things we will never fully know forehand, we just have to try to see, experiment and learn from mistakes. Life is unexpected, surprising, ruthless, merciless, one could think it is loveless.