I ask because this is the case of how I have been viewed all my life, via how I live compared and for others, not for myself. Meaning of my existence is perceived through my gender and my looks, my meaning which consists of having children, giving love and being loved because this is why I am. Why would I have kids into a loveless world? For some reason I am not allowed to be me because me does not have a place in a ready-made. My clothing, studying, working, art, my choices, my fucking make-up, anything I put on me and do is because I am for other people’s pleasure and needs and do what I do because I am the one who desperately wants acceptance and am therefore on a lower level. Now that is a cage. I am not to fulfill and realize myself as an individual as a person who has the mind of her own, body of her own, will of her own, because my basic need is to please and to be wanted, want to be wanted and do things that are there for women to do.