What kind of things shock you? How do you react to shock? Do I shock you, do I really shock you? I would be glad if I did. It is a defense mechanism to seem unapproachable and I rather like it.
To be attacked is a common fear among women. We have to be prepared for it mentally and know how to hit back. Know where to hit as we are physically weaker than men and it is men who mostly attack, physically. Women attack other ways. They use their knowledge over what hurts most, which is to be left outside. Clicking and grouping against the one who is a threat. It is pretty sad. The most afraid people hang on to other people and their opinion about them. It tells something about women.

State of unawareness of what happens brings us irritating feeling of bottomless prospects, looking into an abyss like death, vanishing and fading me. Well it is what artist has to deal with and more and more in an very unbalanced world everybody else as well do not feel secure financially, emotionally nor socially. It is a world of threats, not only aggression-wise, but finding balance, if that is what one seeks, is harder and harder. We are exploited through our fears, through what we have to lose. What we are afraid to lose. Fear is born out of having something to lose, something precious, to which we hold on to, because it keeps us safe.

Is there a shock over something seen or experienced or are you in constant shock all the time, born scared. Do you think it is possible, because I think it is the most definite and primal emotion guiding our lives. Looking over one’s shoulder, hesitating every decision, every step, not jumping, no. Bodily reactions vary in different kinds of shocking experiences, and it is mostly our bodies reacting to instincts, previous experiences, emotions, thoughts – ready to escape. It is not very rational to be afraid. Ready to be appalled, because public opinion may be such that it forces to join the mass hysteria, panic over whatever. It is so we feel safe in a crowd, with those whom we can think the same, agree with. It is appealing to agree. I disagree. I feel compelled to do the counteract.

I do not disagree because it is fun or appealing just because it is difficult to agree with most people. And I thought I was the most scared person, because it truly is the feeling on top of me. I am not standing on it. I try to beat it by analyzing it. The most feared things, could I become unafraid if I just decided so?  Yes.