Who is a feminist? Is a backstabber and a gossiper a feminist, someone who puts other women down deliberately? Definitely not.

People can say of themselves and of others all sorts of things, that is how we form and shape groups, usually it is talk for themselves to look better than someone else or just themselves talking, so it is not unimportant what anyone says. Having a position where you can put someone down just because you can makes your person and feminism look rather strange or Christianity or whatever good doer belief, doctrine, ideology etc. you may have labelled yourself with. Talking about equality and human rights, what is talked about someone in the world of humans matters, that is why gossip is a very much used weapon against anyone. You feel bad and you share it, create an image of someone and of you. Gossiping is done by men and women equally, it hurts both. There aren’t many ways to make it better or benefit the one who is gossiped about as you know boxing something that has been unboxed is very difficult, only the case of making a living out of gossip is taking power back or making art of it. Point of gossiping is power play and it is ruthless, violent, a horrible way of constructing groups and leaving someone out, creating an image of someone. This is what adults do, this is what children do and the gossiper really believes in her or his superiority and that the poor sucker must be humiliated the one who is the target, who is flawed, weird, different in any way. Humiliation is the key, need to humiliate seems to be deep in us. It just makes me wonder how powerless people feel they are to have this kinds of ways of battle.

The case of feminism in terms of grouping and the feminist here is to support the powerless, which women still in many ways are. When you think you are a feminist you do not exploit, humiliate, leave out, put down other women, any woman, and believe me, among women it is a blood sport to humiliate and leave out. It seems to come very naturally… Feminism is not action and talk within your selected group of people which you cultivate in safety of your selected group comfortably. This brings a question of what is feminism in every day, how is it practiced? What does it mean to be human to another person? How vile and vicious can you be can be an interesting test are you that person? What does that make of you, one must ask? An antifeminist.

Juoru

I have been trying to understand the concept living to the fullest (since I began to read women’s magazines. First I looked for paper dolls to cut out). Functioning with feeling of lack.

I Had a dream in which I was in a place I had been in a dream before. It was remembering a dream in a dream. I wanted to find a paint that would paint a room in similar blue to simulate a deep ocean. Such paint was hugely expensive and demanded a lot of pigment. I visited a paint store that sold (the only one) that particular paint and wanted to see this valuable stuff, though I could not afford it. The store was also painted in blue. There was nothing else, but the paint mixer in the middle of that blue room, two saleswomen smiling and they asked if I wanted to buy something. I just came to ask for the price. Miraculous substance.

There was also a large garden, that I had only seen flying low over, garden with naturally round trees, lilac flowers. I was in awe. Plane made an oldish propeller sound. Strange visiting places in dreams where you have only visited before in dreams that only exist in dreams.