How rude
How rude
How loud
How unclean
How vulgar
How unfeminine
How impolite
How talking over
How infuriating
How stupid
How rude
How rude
How loud
How unclean
How vulgar
How unfeminine
How impolite
How talking over
How infuriating
How stupid


Lumière a girl in jeans, look at the light. Where do you place your hands?
He asked if I had gone any further.
How far do you want me to go?
What do you think I should find? Is it something particular?
I try to measure every word and I realise it is not enough, because then I am not me, but trying to please someone else.
Vulva is a door. It is a sow and woman riding it. She lifting her skirt with dagger in her hand. Sight chases the demons away. Pit of chastity, of virtue, entry, passage way, vestibule, horns of Uterus, Fallobian tubes, Interforamireum, space between two holes, Genitalis Mueliebris Ambitus. There was a time when female genitalia had no shame, women didn’t have to be ashamed of their bodies.
To take a dip into hellish visual reality, attacked by refined junk. Negativity in the absolute, positive push: finished, perfected, brushed and polished images. Wrappings and packages, boxes, bags, plastics to burst
coverings of great delicacy, of something to want, desirable ones, items to have. Female body is strictly regulated possession, it is under conscious and cruel use of power. We monitor consciously and unconsciously bodies of ours and others to fit in. It is obsessive and means are never enough. This is an everyday topic, topic of attraction and what kind of options we have and are given.
How rude
How loud
How unclean
How vulgar
How unfeminine
How impolite
How talking over
How infuriating
How stupid
Angels
Those wings are heavy every time the dinner bell rings. Dynamic energy drastic
measures of swans for girls for lasting impressions. The want to go to Paris and
walk. They want to go Paris-thin. When a girl is too thin, when she looks sick, they
need to lose weight to float still. What gives angels their glow?
What I eat in a day as a fashion model.
How I lost weight and got lean.
How to grow your butt without growing your thighs.
My full gym workout. How men react to different levels of makeup. What I eat in a day to lose weight.
Six clothing hacks every girl must know.
Victoria’s Secret angels go grocery shopping. What young hasn’t been dreaming about this?
R
Demonizing: a structure of contempt. It turns out to be the law of the R. She created a life for me in her mind. Her fingers pressed against her cheeks. El Moaur the bottomless, the terrible, a compulsive need to fill to be filled. How about movement? What became of the abandoned one? She has to be punished because she wants it all. What happens if you give all freedom to female sexuality?
Who is afraid of ass? Nobody nowadays, question only is what size it is and how it was made. Body needs work as it is looked at and certain parts are looked at. Naturalness which we appreciate cannot be anything but a result of hard work. Still nudity is scary even in art, which has led me thinking what does it mean, the fear, scandalising body, seeing something that cannot be looked at because it reveals something of the viewer, especially female body and showing of it, looking at bodies is telling. The fear is to be ridiculed, seen, judged, losing opportunities because of the shame of being seen, what else? Female body in art is on display but is it for the shock value, beauty the value, for artistic value (what makes artistic value?), difference in how body is displayed and what is desired from this show, exploration of human form, what happens in time to human body and how we perceive it and receive it, how we accept it or not, what else? Menstruation the word and sight is too much to take, is nudity any less? We are judged by what we reveal, what we watch, how we want ourselves to be seen, how others expect we must be seen and how not.


Paintings done by me during art school 1998. As an art student I was very influenced by my experiences as a young woman and by many female artists who fearlessly had explored femininity, double standards in art and difficulties in being a woman. How there has been this message that one should be ashamed of one’s body, its fluids, functions, the way body looks, what it is for and what it does. I have been fascinated by how little we have control over our bodies, over how it is seen, commented, looked at and what does it do, the body, that I am, but that has a will of its own. For example having had hugely painful period has been a one thing turning my life upside down once a month and this flooding phenomenon that is a taboo all over the world today still remains mysteriously disgusting and horrifying to many. All this is painful and remains so when female body is obscene and feared, so something one wants to understand and respect should be the case. What is the shame there, what is the dirtiness and scare?
Since there are people today who feel disgusted by menstruation art, that this issue is now called such, I must again put this forward, that women’s bodies belong to women and they do what they want with their bodies and menstruation being one thing women experience in its messiness and pain, shame and irritation, all it brings to us, as private as it may be, it is an everyday normal bodily function and a very important one. The leaking body, that has a way of its own is gorgeous and menstruation should be respected instead of felt disgusted by. And blood is not blue..