To define and find gendered feelings and where do they point at, lead us, would be an interesting project.

2026 Henna Timanttimetsä

What is a feeling? A physical body constantly receives messages from within—they are experiences that speak through us. The body is always communicating. What these messages tell us is fascinating, and the question is how much we should listen to our feelings. I have a feeling of laying on the sofa all day, not a good idea for many days in a row.

The accuracy and power of feelings in our lives is a central issue. Some people are very passionate and explosive, while others are stoic, in control but feel no less. Whether we show or suppress emotions—whether we talk about them or not—varies greatly. Feelings come and go throughout the day, and now we have the time and resources to monitor, discuss, and act upon them.

They are signals, constantly present and often uncontrollable. That is why self-control has traditionally been seen as a virtue, it still is. At the same time, victimhood is often valued—it demands empathy and can even resemble an industry. By putting oneself out there emotionally, one can provoke reactions and find interest.

Displaying emotions can become a skill: being perceived as emotionally expressive is interesting, more alive. Feelings can be demanding; they seem to call for a response, something others can relate to or hate. Hate and love. But one must be careful about how emotions are expressed—why, and to whom. So far, showing of emotions has been a sign of weakness. Today there is a rebellion against this old way of thinking.

This kind of emotional presentation can also be seen as a form of manipulation, sometimes stereotypically described as a “feminine” skill. “Feeling like a woman,” or living as a woman, can be interpreted as a kind of theater—though, in truth, living as a human being is always, in some sense, performative.

Conversation about womanhood goes round on feeling like a woman, which sounds very hormone-based and makes one wonder about the legitimacy of feelings, which part is feminine and which is manly—what kind of testimony or proof feelings are of anything? Authenticity, emphathetic, approacable, all positive characteristics, human and not a robot. So far, feelings haven’t provided evidence unless they are very extreme, or they simply haven’t mattered—at least mine haven’t. Feelings are belittled; they don’t count, I have learned. Something has changed and we are all in public therapy where recognizing, understanding and showing of feelings is essential. Are there people whose feelings matter more? Of course there are. They are very sensitive.

Thinking about how much shame a female body carries or holds, and must endure to this day. Femininity has been seen as a sign of a slut—and still is for many—so the idea of “feeling like a woman” confuses me: what does it actually feel like? So many people have thought about and discussed what a woman is, and many point to femininity—body parts that must be present, shaped and sized in certain ways. Is that the feeling: round, soft, penetrable, fleshy, with fat in the “right” places? A dress and heels? Hmm, that sounds like a fetish.

There is a plethora of videos on YouTube about how trans people and others undergo a lot of plastic surgery—one procedure after another—to become “perfect dolls.” Often, the desire is to look artificial. But there is a limit to how much the body can endure before things go really wrong: the nose can develop necrosis, silicone can leak, fat can travel into veins, implants leak and move etc. It becomes a horror show and to go big with lips, breasts and behind is a yearning. Some doctors refuse to perform BBLs, but astonishingly, there are plenty of doctors who will operate on every whim a client has, desires, is obsessed with. Obsessed and excited are the hype words that tell of this time: feelings are there, not reason, a constant craving and filling of it. Looksmaxxing https://youtu.be/3YvWfJGb2Qc?is=0hhXvWo5JiC9qr38

The human desire to go as far as one possibly can is something that unites the sexes. Our dreams of being a perfect human—the best of all—and letting everybody see. Is it ambition, innovation, or greed? An easy way is to be able to buy the assumed perfection, image to match. What is the sexed feeling there? Sex that is a feeling. It has been long the thought that women are more emotional. It could be that we are allowed to show feelings more openly. Once one goes for the artificial look and endures a lot of pain and maybe fear, people’s judgments and looks, that bring pleasure, so the process is worth something like a lot of attention, feelings of success or failure happen and the need to do more as perfection doesn’t exist, there is a talking doll to look at. She is happy or sad, which makes a great reality show, all the things in a life that concentrate on looks and what it can bring. Everything. What it feels like, is what one wants, a kind of organized chaos. How I understand, the sentence ”feel like a woman” coming from man’s mouth, is about feeling and touching a woman, because even in science woman’s feelings, pain and fear, have been discarded to this day.

A call for authenticity is a desperate one, isn’t it? For anybody to stick out has been a risk. In attention economy it is monetized, extremes are therefore valued or is it just a large-scale freak show to see how far people go?

Bodies online, Oil pastel, 2026

Hello, do you have time to talk about the miracle of plastic surgery?

Self with flashligt, 2014

FIX HER, TO HAVE HER MIND AT EASE: GRANDE PLASTIC SURGERY PLEASES SPOILED PEOPLE.

What is beautiful then? We seem to seek more extravagant beauty routines as experiences more and more, which are part of the idea of beauty, it is a process and constantly new found ingredients, beauty and wellness services and tricks. It seems it is not a matter of personal taste that much but manipulation, influence, advertising, group think and hype, even cost is not an obstacle but personality, individuality and originality go easily scarce when searching for the plastic look. Taste and style which are much guided by industries that produce beauty standards move fast. It is strange to point out one industry and blame that one evil thing when we should look at the whole picture: fashion, cosmetics, movies and pop culture, entertainment and the celebrity boom, social media and meaning of one’s own contribution and image in it. The artificial cosmos around us and what do we want in it, the constant boom and search for immortality perhaps in the lights, which train does not stop but accelerates and speeds up like there was no end as there obviously is not, since we want to be liked in constant movement and the easiest way is via looks, poses, clothes and places to be.

What is this all for, to look stunning to impress, make the best kind of visual impact to attract, seduce, make followers, a reputation and fame, be remembered and looked at as beautiful on the outside, as someone who has great tits, fantastic body parts until one doesn’t anymore? We want to be remembered to have been someone who looked good up to standards and measurements ’made’ by ‘experts’ of beauty and style or having had style and beauty of our own but not? To be expert on beauty is a person who knows what beauty is, how to be beautiful. Interesting is how personal taste and made up beauty standards meet or what is personal anymore, one’s own, how far people are willing to go in becoming iconic, to be admired and gazed at, desired as sexy, fuckable and sexy are the biggest lures. For those who have the means to do as many surgeries as any surgeon can and is allowed to do on one person…

Having plastic surgery is like candy. It is a culture of looking infantile without maturity, finding satisfaction which quite doesn’t show and having all fast. Somehow happiness is still far away from the perfected body, it is unreachable because there is not a fairy to grant happiness just like that. So it is not in the body parts. It cannot be bought. Instant gratification of looking the way you want is obviously good and you have the right to look the way you want, as long it is what you want. What do you want? To be fake is just plain easy and it is the target to be fake and like faking can be easy as lying, an act. To be as fake as you can and pretend it is the real you, pretend the perfect body and gained lifestyle is the ultimate happy place with similar friends around who share your views and lifestyle. The wrong is when fake becomes the only thing that is worth reaching out for. When a person is not good enough without those things that can be bought, attached to and a body which is molded to match a standard of looking like an ultra feminine female for example, just the way you feel you should. The wrong is when this is the best we can get to become, dream about and walk in. The worse is calling it reality. Calling it real..the real you. People clearly have an issue with reality.

What’s wrong with it? Probably everything. Shouldn’t we be concerned and think about the reasons why people feel bad about the way they look, about body parts that do not fill the requirements, requirements that are more and more imaginable and artificial, born via images and entertainment around us? Have us think the good and the desirable and make us want to be successful through surgery and publicity, via total modification of the seen, to be a creation. Many say why not, as long as you are happy. It is there to be reached out.

Sentences like: I wanted to be pretty and be admired for that, but now I hate myself after plastic surgery went wrong badly. I almost died. It was done by an incompetent doctor, of course. Not because you had ludicrous ideas how you should look like. Such can happen since plastic surgery is not without risks. People despair painfully for the good looks, it is, I suppose, biological, but people want to deny biology, don’t they? So badly it is sickening to look at and sad as hell. It truly is all what one is and when looks is gone you are done for. The most sickening part of this pain is someone thinking one is all wrong on the outside, in wrong body and what is outside of one is that needs repair, a correction. Being beyond repair is a failure as such, wanting to be liked and loved for what you look like, when you do not like the way you look and other people like to comment your looks to make sure you do feel there is something wrong with you and make sure you do not fit in and do not feel comfortable, are you sure it is you who is flawed? Seeking comfort in your body is like getting lost in a forest. Being comfortable in your body means one should aspire to take care of it, not mutilate and vandalize it and definitely not do what others tell you should look like. The definite and absolute end of life today is ugliness, old and worn out looks. People who want youthful feminine looks without trace of old age seek science fiction, being over forty is today too old even with surgery. Who takes interest in you when you do not fit the beauty standards, when you do not look fresh and young? Maybe we should ask, who cares. Oldies are a big varied group of people with skills and knowledge. Why reject them, us? Because of prejudice? Isn’t today for variety and acceptance, not brutality and bullying? I guess not. People still today wonder the meaning of life and old age being something desirable. Importantly, how do we stay fit and youthful for a hundred years or more. When sexy is the meaning of life..thinking what is ugly?