It is when people leave you, usually you are left alone to manage by yourself because you shouldn’t burden anyone with your issues. Life is a Teflon pan where things get fried without sticking. Idea is that human being must have strength in such amounts that force within will carry you on in life despite what happens to you. This tough love when it comes across at home, in school, in relationships and at work over and over again begins to make an interesting image of people and what life is supposed to be, how someone is valued and someone is not. It is an ideology of no comfort and no other than self-interest is that matters. You get ripped off and what you get is a matter of chance. Ideology where one person is a power plant which has enough power to keep oneself going on one’s own despite what happens to you. You just get up and feel great and thankful for each day. Personal matters are matters of yours only, not even parents should be concerned or be interested in what happens to a person really. Who is anyone really? It is because they are themselves in such a mess they are not able to handle inner life problematic as they see their children extensions of themselves but they can talk of their child to other people as their child is someone else they barely know if at all, as weird as it is and sounds. Most important is the front page is spotless and all is well, you say hello to your buddies and keep your lawn in good shape for it not to bother anyone looking that might tell there is something wrong. When compassion and empathy are this much scarce it is a matter of emergency and matter of asking what the fuck is going on and what is life suppose to be exactly? Suppose to be can be a wrong question entirely because who expects life to be something exact? Obviously quite many.

To talk about feelings is very hard, it can be intolerable. In psychotherapy it is the most important area to discuss, recognize and understand within oneself. It is seen as too simple and ridiculous but it is essential. We are highly emotional. Too little is put emphasis on the issue of emotions and too much paid attention to emotions of women which they cannot battle and win making wrong kinds of judgments based on prejudiced ideas that women are emotional therefore weak and men are not.

Misconceptions on what love is, how it is given and shown, confusion between concepts of hate and love, confusion all together of how to feel, talk about feelings since we all have them but we somehow must act we do not, and how feelings make us react or should make react. Too little thoughts on why feelings are such strong motivators in our actions and why many mix violence with love, justify violence with love and being hurt in love, mix love with ownership. There seems to be true confusion in what love is and when we hate, when we are acting in hateful manner is when we protect something mostly ourselves from possibility of change. Same kind of problematic happen with ideas of intellect, beauty, good life and so on, foundations of life, what is wrong and right, what is good to anybody and what can we give to that stranger or our children.