Who is afraid of ass? Nobody nowadays, question only is what size it is and how it was made. Body needs work as it is looked at and certain parts are looked at. Naturalness which we appreciate cannot be anything but a result of hard work. Still nudity is scary even in art, which has led me thinking what does it mean, the fear, scandalising body, seeing something that cannot be looked at because it reveals something of the viewer, especially female body and showing of it, looking at bodies is telling. The fear is to be ridiculed, seen, judged, losing opportunities because of the shame of being seen, what else? Female body in art is on display but is it for the shock value, beauty the value, for artistic value (what makes artistic value?), difference in how body is displayed and what is desired from this show, exploration of human form, what happens in time to human body and how we perceive it and receive it, how we accept it or not, what else? Menstruation the word and sight is too much to take, is nudity any less? We are judged by what we reveal, what we watch, how we want ourselves to be seen, how others expect we must be seen and how not.
oil pastel on paper, drunk passed out/why women drink?2015
Without her she gets made, a kind of other, malformation of sex and an assumption. She needs persona and identity of her own. How does she do that? What does she make of herself, of this, of this lot, of this lottery ticket. Out of these forms of hers she must build herself, of pieces a misty character, that makes you feel cold inside. Her reputation precedes her, irregular person, despicable, untrustworthy, she is what you heard you think you heard. You made her in your mind via your and people’s speech, exchange of ideas. Isn’t that her? Talk works like gas, it is intoxicating and vulgar. Violence taking the least effortless way. Story of her could be continued this way unless she would not act on her defense, get that mess into her own hands, clay and a piece of bone. She needs herself to oppose, resist and defend herself. Nobody else does it. Nobody else is interested in her life, her self, what it really is, what she really is like and able to do.
Her reality is not interesting to anyone but herself, she lives it, not you and makes it. She makes her life even though there is discouragement, contempt, laughter, ill talk, threat, there is so little faith in her that it is unbelievable and unbearable. To accept passively what goes on and on because others accept it, it suits them and it is normal, ill is the norm. They say there is nothing one can do for her. It is not an option to change that. That is not true. It is her exceptional quality, resistance, energy of hers that changes anything.
Evaluations, descriptions, adjectives, measurements and comparisons, faults, flaws, drawbacks, qualities we need to place someone in that tight spot to feel powerful and someone else small, qualities we have made and what are they worth, how do qualities needed change anything? Any inner strength there? We imagine, make, consume and refine ourselves as well as we can. We consume others to make ourselves. To find that strength there to do better is so little.
She is not right. There is a right way to be. Characteristics that are stated as a fact without further evidence and hearsay is all. Demonizing her to people who listen, who ask without her, without her she gets made as if she died. Character of mist that makes you feel cold inside. Is this the same world we inhabit: you speak of me but you do not confront me nor speak to me. How little respect there is, how little trust. She is what you heard as a fact. To think otherwise would be unthinkable, unthinkable pleasure, envious, joy of dragging her down speaks mountains: She is not right. She is not right. To kill is to entertain. It is to better yourself, to paint a picture of malicious woman is to draw a separating line. Pointing her out from above, from a distance, from acclaimed perfection, from accepted shameless perfection undeniable. To know her is to say what she is: she is loud, she is noisy, she is quiet, she is broken, she is tense, she is useless, she is irrational, she is shameless, she is lost, she is dead. How stupid she is. Stupidity being something very human. Not understanding why.
images 2014-2016, Nudity is not shocking to me, violence is. Sex is not wrong, killing is. So people can tolerate blood that comes from other places than vagina and for whatever other reason than bodily function.
She is sex. She wants sex. She thinks of sex. She sees sex. She likes sex. She is sex. She invites to sex. She inspires to sex. She is sex. She thinks of sex. She means sex. She wears sex. She looks like she wants sex. She looks like sex. She looks for sex. She is the reason to sex. She is reason to sex. She is her rape. She is evil. She is luring. She is bad, she is just bad, she is twisted, she is sex. She is for sex. She is to be penetrated and won, she is a prize, she is trash, she is to be owned. She is to be thrown away, she is her sex. She is dangerous, sex is dangerous. Her sex is to be controlled, tied and bound. It is her idea, it is in her, the idea of sex.
Let’s begin. How do I peel it, her, this thing? From inside out or from outside in as the task is to learn how many layers there are. From where we look at, to where we do not see and what we do not like to see. Gender is much what we show and what we do not. To see her is one task to begin investigate her. It is to want to see her, not what you think you see, her clothes, her background, her nationality, not her body shape and how it fits ideals, her. Question is what is a persona and how does one’s persona evolve. How do we know anyone at all when knowing oneself is demanding enough and to think where does a person begin opens a universe to humanity.
To fit ideals and desires is not her, it is culture. It is those who watch, accept, use power and want something of you. The map to being part of society as an acceptable individual, note the word individual. Who are those who think people should fit ideals and images and portray ready-made in real life? Why does anyone want her as an image is because images are perfect. To be a match which she should be and match in a way there are little variations is puzzling. What kind of people want the most easiest other people to be?
When it is to want an illusion and not a human being. Many say they like humans, women as humans but they want this and that. It is confusing, those other who want something of you. To grow up to be an adult is to learn to play the game of gender and fulfil expectations and when you don’t you are fucked. One can be repulsed by those given models of how to become and be a woman, such advice as how one’s hair should be like, how it is nice to please and smile. To put smile on one’s face is the one most important thing, there is something wrong if you don’t. How fragile this so-called perfection is, carefully monitored that any irritation and ‘flaw’ shows. She did that, she looked like that. Body parts and how they look are measured to an inch, what those parts do, how they make you feel.
What is a delicious blowjob? What is the eatable enjoyment a moment to fill in so much so that it is the only idea there is to do with me and be done. Is it human? He thinks his penis tastes good? Or is the deliciousness in his mouth in his body the feeling the sensation looking at me sucking.
It is when one suddenly is faced with the fact that one is one mouth, one asshole which can be endlessly fucked, one cunt, one tongue. One gratifying sight into which a man can melt. There is a desire to shove a large hard-on cock, a large hard-on dick, a large hard-on penis, a large hard-on prick, shove it as deep as it goes. It will be the only thing there is, to see me sucking, and shove even further when it does not fit and see my face. Pain is necessary to bring pleasure for the one who causes it. For some to serve is pleasurable. It is a service to open one’s mouth for one purpose only and be seen as slave, a whore.
When act comes to an end I am to swallow, the dream is to swallow a dream, to give head, get down on him, be on one’s knees, let one’s head to be torn apart and be an asshole. It is an act of penetrating a mind which is also a body. Something where mind has stopped to be autonomous and all meat begins, is what is left of her, of me. Mind is in the dirt as it is in leash, the open mouth with which one cannot speak is full of moving penis, full and as open as a mouth can be. Breathing through one’s nostrils is harder till one is not able anymore but suck and lick and take it back. Little death is too little when fulfillment is for the man only. It has to be big one. The more obedient one is the better. Disgust must not show, that you are disgusted for being used like that, that you hate the look on his face. You just take it all in your mouth, the action, movement, size of his, everything. Everything is the demand. Everything is what he wants. Organ you are sucking, the man you are sucking, him you are fulfilling. Do you do what he asks you to because you want to be loved? Do you do it till you gag and almost throw up because he wants to? Are you so eager to please and afraid that this is the all of love there is? To understand the thrill of torture, subjugation which he doesn’t admit is torture because he enjoys it so much. He enjoys to think he knows what he is doing and he is doing what he wants.
Why so open? What is this all about? Why be like a bird to be fed taken by the neck and be used like that? That there will be a reward and love there in the end. I have been a good cat, good bird, good girl, the good in it. Seduction with feathers and a counterpart to fit ending to be his moment.
She is like that she does that, it is very human to be suspicious of her, at least now after all that history of man, of ours where woman is a merchandise. Accusation is she is like that.
She is like that she does that, with no end, a cowardice act an attempt to hide herself and let strangers to use her body, get paid for it. What do you mean ours? What is ours? What do you mean hide? What she is, there is no use in hiding, we know her what she is, what she is for , what she can do. When you sell your body you sell yourself, there is nowhere to hide.
She is like that she does that, doing the dirty work, walking the night, looking, looked at
She is like that she does that, to experience such hate, to live in fear
She is like that she does that, it may come as a shock what she had to do to survive
Majakollektiivi Timanttimetsä 